Fawnie expected instant relief upon ending Luca Changretta with a shot to the head. He was killed immediately and crumpled to the ground like a discarded sheet. Instead of some fraction of relief, Fawnie felt absolutely nothing. Nothing changed despite having avenged John Shelby. She slowly lowered the gun and realized how heavily she breathed.

Her heart was the only indicator she'd done something horrible. It beat faster than she could count but her attention was brought toward Finn as he stared at Fawnie and Arthur like they were ghosts. (which they technically are)

"What the fuck?" Finn's voice echoed as he shouted, Fawnie couldn't imagine how he felt.

There wasn't a right way to help him cope with the information so Fawn hugged him tightly, whispering apology after apology under her breath.

━━━━

The vendetta was over but Fawnie's life was just beginning. She hadn't realized that it was put on pause due to the imminent threat. Everything from the day John died to now has changed drastically. Fawnie can see how different even she looks. For the first time in ages, she's really looking at herself in the mirror.

Every time until now... she's glanced then turned away or covered the reflective surface indefinitely. But something in her head has been nagging at her to take a proper gander at herself.

Nothing about her is familiar, the tiredness behind her empty eyes is off, the permanent frown isn't Fawn at all, even her body has changed. She's slimmer than before but oddly bigger... then it dawns on Fawnie the longer she stares into the mirror. She looks like Tommy, he's not that tall of a man but yet he seems so large and foreboding.

She chuckles dryly at the thought, knowing now that he's her father still baffles the young woman. Despite hardly having accepted the information, Fawn finds that it makes so much sense she is his child. Something in his blood is different than that of his siblings, something in his very DNA sets him apart from his family. Save for Fawnie, she's got that thing about her as well.

Maybe it's their eyes or their poker face... something about Thomas and Fawnie Shelby is chilling.

Fawnie knew that with the end of the vendetta, her life would catch up with her. And that included Bonnie Gold. She had no idea how to even begin to explain what happened, she didn't even know if Bonnie was still in Birmingham. It frightened her to think about showing up out of the blue and saying something stupid like "Hey Bon, I'm alive," with an equally idiotic smile on her face.

She hated it all. Why did the Shelby family have to be so damn cursed? And why was she the one who had to deal with so many little issues? Because I'm the king's daughter. Her inner monologue was no help. It sounded like Aunt Polly and Tommy together, the two people who made Fawnie the woman she now is.

"Fawnie are you alright in there?" Speak of the devil and she will show up.

"I'm fine, Aunt Pol. Just thinking." Fawn hadn't talked so loudly in ages and it scratched at her throat.

Fawnie met her own eyes and prayed some semblance of pride would surge behind them... but all she saw was fear. What would Bonnie say?

━━━━

There's no lesson on how to love someone. There's not a manual or school course to teach someone how to properly care for another's heart... and if there was one, Fawnie never managed to stick her nose inside the book and learn all about how to treat a boy right. She felt stupid for being so scared of his reaction.

Fawnie wasn't worried he'd lash out, she was terrified of seeing Bonnie cry. The strongest boy she's ever met, the only one she's ever liked... her boyfriend... the only person who has made her smile since John died. How do you react if your partner cries because of you? Fawn tries to figure out what she'd do.

In an ideal world, Fawn wouldn't have had to play dead or kill a man to save her family... she wouldn't have even met Bonnie in an ideal world... Fuck fairy tales, Bon's real and so am I.

For one she agreed with the voice in her head.

She hadn't seen Tommy in two whole days, if anything she wasn't surprised. Every inch of Fawn's mind wanted her to hide from the world some more, to bask in the ignorance of not knowing Bonnie's reaction to her being well and alive. But a Shelby can't hide from their problems forever.

And that's how Fawn found herself riding Tommy's horse out to the Gold camp. Polly spoke to Aberama and made sure that Fawnie could make it there before the family left once again. She knew it was the only time she could possibly make things right between her and Bonnie.

It wasn't a long ride, it was quite peaceful being out of the city. Being able to breathe in the cool crisp country air. Fawnie hated to admit that she still loved being away from the craziness of Small Heath. That a part of her longed to travel the world away from her family. Only now, she didn't imagine her mother coming to get her after 18 years away... the sight of Bon coming to carry Fawn into their vardo made her heart clench.

"Woah!" Dangerous neighed loudly and jumped to the side, Fawn hadn't noticed the sudden decline of the ground. "It's alright, love." She turned the horse around and put a hand on her neck, "Dangerous, it's just a hill. We'll go around."

As she grew up in Small Heath the boys still managed to raise her around horses, she learned how to calm them down from Tommy because Arthur's gravelly voice startled them and John was too jumpy to truly aid a horse in distress. But Tom was always so good at calming the horses, he'd lean in real close and talk to them like they were people. Arguably, people, he liked because Tommy's always liked his space.

Once Dangerous slowed her pace down, Fawn found the path once more. "You really can't let me get lost in my thoughts again, girl." She murmured, "We'll end up face-down in a bloody ditch." She felt a bit silly for talking to the horse, but Polly reminded Fawn constantly to talk a little each day to help her voice get back to normal.

"Oi! Who are you?" Bonnie's voice made Fawn freeze.

His voice came from behind her, to him Fawnie knew he probably saw a young lad. The suit wasn't fitted yet and Fawn couldn't bring herself to wear the suit she wore to Luca Changretta's day of reckoning.

She found herself moving Dangerous away from Bonnie, "Hey, you stop! I know you hear me!" Fawn chewed on her lip as a sudden wave of sadness overwhelmed her. She heard the sound of his footfalls then a gun cocking. He was warning her, it made a smile fight its way onto her face.

Of course, Bon would get to defending his camp when a random person got too close.

After a deep breath and swiping a hand across her eyes, Fawn grabbed the reins with both hands and turned the horse around. She couldn't smile, Fawn stared blankly at him as he almost tripped upon seeing her face.

She wasn't close enough to properly gauge his expression but Fawnie imagined the anger, the betrayal... and ultimately the rage passing through Bonnie's head as he processed everything.

"Hi, Bonnie." Her voice didn't give way, it was just broken without reason.

Bonnie looked like he was choking, trying to find the words to properly express what he was feeling. The gun fell to the ground as he stood there... staring at her with wide eyes. "You're dead, little deer." He sounded as though he were in a daze, eyes glazed over with tears as the pair said nothing.

Oh, Fawnie would do anything to make him smile again.

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

Oh my goodness, I'm quite proud of myself for writing this up so quickly! I still feel as though I repeated myself quite a bit but it is what it is. Thank you all so much for 75k on this story... that's so wild to me that so many people have read it. I'm really keen on the reunion between Bawnie to be as realistic as I can make it since they have a special bond. And I can't wait for everyone to find out that Tommy's Fawnie's dad. How do you think Bonnie's going to respond to Fawn being alive? And what are Arthur and Finn's responses to Thomas being Fawnie's father going to look like? Please let me know your theories!! I love reading them <3 I love you lot so much :)