So apparently Lucas can hold a grudge better than myself.

Last night while Em and I were eating dinner he came into the kitchen. I'll admit, I did go quiet, but only because I felt awkward after our last encounter. I'd broken my promise to him and even though it had been done with good intentions (okay, selfish intentions...) I hadn't enjoyed hurting him.

"Lucas -" I barely got his name out before he stalked out, nearly taking the door off its hinges.

Emily offered me a sympathetic look. "It's okay, he'll come around. He's been pretty upset since Autumn..."

She drifted off but I didn't really need her to finish the sentence. Just the mention of her name was enough to wreak a few moments of havoc on my emotions.

It's kind of strange, how someone I had known for less than half a year could have wound their way so tightly into my heart - so to speak. I mean, I get the pain when Grandpa died, but I'd known him my whole life. It's terrifying to think of how important these people have become to me, and I almost tore them all away.

Being normal and without this curse, it feels like a life time ago. I was another person - a bitchy person but whatever. I really, really don't want to admit to this, but I think on some crazy stupid level, I'm almost thankful to that bitch witch for doing this to me. Because of this, I have Lainie back, my sister and I are slowly rebuilding our relationship, and I've made true friends that I would do anything for.

As I said; crazy stupid level. There's no way I'm telling the Doc any of this.

Anyway, what was I writing about? Oh right, so I tried to follow Lucas back up to his room, but he refused to open the door, no matter how many times I asked. I was thinking about how much it would hurt to try and kick the door in when I heard someone speaking Italian. At first I thought it was Michael, but unless he had turned into a angry sounding teenage girl, then I doubted it.

Moving away from Lucas' door I headed towards the voice. It was coming from Autumn and Kestral's room. I realised it was Kestral speaking and I didn't have to speak the language to understand she was pissed. I don't know why I tried to creep closer so I could hear better. It wasn't going to make any difference.

Unfortunately Samson chose that moment to walk out of the bathroom, closing the door loudly and Kestral stopped talking. I quickly moved back towards my own room, as if that had been my destination all along as Samson greeted me cheerfully. Kestral's door snapped shut and I didn't fail to notice the look that crossed Sammy's face as his eyes turned towards it. Obviously I wasn't the only one who thought there was something going on with her.

Man, I spend a week drowning in my own pity party and things start to get interesting again.

I finally got to see Oscar again last night too. I couldn't sleep and came downstairs for a glass of water, almost crashing into him coming out of the kitchen.

"Hey!" I smiled. "Long time no see, I forgot it was a full moon tonight."

My smile died as his eyes darkened and he brushed past me, heading for the stairs.

"Wait!" I caught up to him and grabbed his arm. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't think of why he was angry with me, I hadn't done anything to upset him this week.

"You know what's wrong," he muttered, shaking his arm free.

"I-I do?" He started to walk away again and I made another grab for his arm. "Hey! I don't understand."

"You didn't go to the service," he snapped. "You've only been thinking of yourself all week, you don't even care about the rest of us."

My hand fell away and he started climbing the stairs as I struggled to find my voice.

"I do care." My words were softly spoken, but I knew he'd heard them when he stopped halfway up. "I know what I did was stupid and selfish and everything that everyone hates me for. But I did it because I care. Because I care for Emily and Lucas, and everyone else here. I've lost two people in less than six months and my heart -" I broke off, not wanting to talk about my stupid heart. "It was selfish and I'm sorry. Emily and I have patched things up, and Samson smiled at me earlier on so I don't think he's holding a grudge. Lucas is set to avoid me for the rest of his life, so I'll have to find another way to make it up to him. You... I don't want you to hate me too."

Oscar watched me quietly as I spoke, judging me with those piercing blue eyes. Finally, he motioned for me go back downstairs and I smiled gratefully, leading the way to the library.

"You do realise Ariel," he closed the door behind us, "you can't keep doing this every time something happens. I get that you're just trying to protect yourself, but ..."

"I know," I quickly interjected. "All this week, I've just been thinking of myself and how Autumn's death has affected me, and not everyone else. I'm not proud of it, and I will try not to do it again. I'd promise, but I break them, so let's not."

"Are you talking about Lucas?" he asked carefully.

I nodded. "I promised him I wouldn't treat him like a beast, and this week I did exactly that so he would leave me alone. I felt awful when I did it. Now I can't even apologise to him."

"I'm sure he will come around," Oscar said softly. "If he is as stubborn as you he'll need some time to move passed it."

"I think he's even more stubborn," I smiled. I told him how Lucas had been coming to my room every day after Autumn died.

"I didn't want him there, but every time he left, I felt emptier, you know? I guess even if we just sit in tense silence, I'd still prefer that to him not being there. You know, I don't even know how he got his curse. I know what his mum does for a living, and he likes lemon cupcakes, but other than that, I really haven't bothered to learn anything else." I sighed, twisting my hair into a messy knot. "I really suck at this whole friendship thing."

"You don't suck at it." Oscar sat beside me on the small couch. "I've seen how you are with these people. Since you've been here Emily has become more outspoken. She tends to go along with what everyone says, but you've encouraged her to speak her mind and think about what she wants and how she wants to be treated. Ben practically idolises you and you've earned Amelia's respect. I don't know much about her but I recon her respect is hard earned. And... Lucas, you've defended him against others who would treat him as he appears and not who he is."

"What about you?" I asked. "Have I done anything for you?"

"You've given me moments like this," he looked at his knees.

I know my cheeks were heated and I quickly looked at my own knees, letting my hair fall around my face. I don't know what these moments meant to him, but I'm glad they were something I could give without screwing up.

"I'm glad I wasn't able to screw this up," I voiced out loud and he chuckled.

"Yeah, me too."

We fell into silence, listening to the wind outside blowing through the trees. There was no awkwardness in that silence, it was warm and comfortable. I felt like words weren't needed. It was familiar and safe. I closed my eyes, listening to the steady mantra of his breathing, sleep starting to settle in my limbs.

"Ariel," he broke the silence, and I looked up, bleary -eyed. "Can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I..." he looked nervous, and my own body involuntary tensed, waiting. "It's nothing."

"Really? People who say 'I need to tell you something', don't say it unless they really do."

"I was going to tell you about my curse." His eyes darted frantically away and I had a feeling that wasn't what he wanted to tell me, but I let it slide.

"You don't have to tell me," I said softly.

"No, I do," he replied. "I've been wanting to tell someone for a long time. I could just never find the right moment, and I need to get it off my chest, yeah? The Doc always said that telling someone about your curse was a step in the right direction. He said it should be someone I feel comfortable and safe with, and well for me right now, that person is you."

"Okay then," I whispered. "Tell me about your curse."

So he told me. There was a girl, Sonia. She was that weird kid at school that came from the strange family everyone always whispered about as she passed them in the halls. One day, Oscar had seen one of his friends knock her over in the hall and her textbooks went flying. Not thinking, he helped her pick them up and apologised. Little did he know that such an act of kindness would start everything.

She became obsessed with him, following him between classes, spying on him as he grabbed books from his locker. People noticed, and although she never approached him, it made him uncomfortable and he tried to tell her to stop. He says he was gentle at first and didn't want to hurt her feelings, but when she refused to take the hint, he started to be more demanding and hurtful.

On that fateful day, his friends had been with him, and not wanting to look like he was trying to be nice to the weird girl, he broke her; smashing her fragile defences until she was in tears.

I know he feels disgusted with how he treated her. I could see it written all over his face. It made me think of my own experience and what I did that night. At the time, you don't really think about it. You just want to conform and not be seen as different from your friends. Afterwards though, when you've had time to think about it a million times and wonder if it was the right thing to do... that's when the guilt and shame come crashing down around you, leaving you feeling like the monster you didn't know you were.

What Oscar didn't realise was that her older sister, Josie had been watching. Where Sonia was quiet and timid, her sister was strong and unforgiving. She wore her weirdness like a shield. They were from an old family of witches, and Josie had been teaching herself magic and using it against people who made fun of her, or of her sister.

Josie approached Oscar and his friends, coming to her sister's defence. Oscar said, looking back, she definitely looked like one of those crazy witches you sometimes see in the movies - with wiry hair and long pointed nails painted black. In that moment however, he hadn't thought of it like that. He listened as she called him out on his treatment of his little sister, and while deep down he had agreed that it had been wrong, he had still been too wound up in the moment to own up to his wrongdoings and instead argued that he had been justified in putting her down and telling her to leave him alone.

The moment that sealed his fate, he believes, is when he called their whole family freaks. Before anyone could blink, she had shoved her hand in his face, muttering some strange incantation.

He doesn't remember much of what happened next. Just lots of screaming, shouting and pain - so much pain. He vaguely remembers hearing Josie tell Sonia this is who he really was before he passed out.

"I'm guessing she fudged up your curse then, if she really thinks you're a cat?" I asked when he finished.

"What?" His eyes, still clouded with memories of the past turned to me in confusion.

"Well, that's just weird if she thinks you're cat right? Unless it has something to do with a cat's animalistic behavior or something."

"Oh right, yeah I guess she did screw it up," he said quietly.

"I'd hate to think what she was really trying to turn you into."

"Yeah, I'd hate it too."

I wish there was something I could do to help Oscar. I let him into our room this morning and he's sleeping by the window. I don't know if I should mention it to Amelia. He says there's nothing they can do, but I feel like I need to do something, you know? I keep seeing his face as he talked about his curse; all that pain and regret. I want to take it away.

Amelia's gone into town to follow up on a lead - for what I don't know. When she gets back I'll ask her about helping Oscar.

Hello! So yes, the Goodreads issue has been resolved, and I am hoping that it won't happen again XD. I know this isn't crazy long but it is only a journal entry and actually what I believe to be the last journal entry (though who knows, there could be one more!)  before we reach the end. I am so excited to start the next couple of chapters, this is where everything happens!