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Getting married

Inis kong kinurot ang tagiliran niya nang biglang bumilis ang takbo ng ducati. Nabwebwesit talaga ako kapag nagpapasikat siya, eh.

“Slow down, Simour! We’re not in a damn race! Why are you in a hurry ba?! Darating din naman tayo doon!” asik ko sa kanya.

I wonder kung naririnig niya ba ako ng maayos? Masyado kasing malakas ang ihip ng hangin. I am the one wearing his helmet because that’s what he wants. I didn’t say no naman dahil para lang din naman iyan sa safety ko.

“Dumidilim na kasi, eh. Para makarating agad tayo doon. Tsaka baka hinahanap ka na ng mga magulang mo, pagabi na. Mas mabuti nang maiuwi kita agad,” sagot niya.

I couldn’t help but smile a bit. Seeing us riding on his ducati feels nostalgic. The cold breeze of the night air as if we’re in a winter at Japan, the calmness of the sea of lights in the city, the peaceful darkness, the night strolls… everything made me feel nostalgic about the past.

Years before, after we left and ran away, I never thought I could ride on his ducati again and have a night strolls with him. I didn’t expect to see us on the same ducati, the same city lights and the same air.

“My parents won’t be worried, don’t worry,” saad ko. “Maraming bodyguards ang nakasunod sa atin ngayon kaya hindi nila kailangang mag-alala. And also, you don’t have to worry about sending me home early kasi kapag may nangyari sa akin o kapag may ginawa ka sa akin, my bodyguards will kill you.”

Napasinghap siya. “Aba naman! Parang gusto mo yatang mamatay agad ako, ah? Tsaka wala akong gagawing masama sayo, ‘no! Good boy ako, eh!”

Agad na tumaas ang kilay ko. “Good boy? Hindi nga? Saan banda?”

“Huwag kang maraming tanong, nadi-distract ako sa pagmamaneho. Baka kung saan kita dalhin,” aniya.

Tumaas lalo ang kilay ko saka mahinang hinampas ang likod niya. “And where are you planning to take me, ha?! Don’t you dare, Simour! Makikita mo ang tikas ng mga bodyguards ko!”

Mahina siyang natawa. “Babe, mas matikas ako kaysa sa mga iyon. Ni-wala nga yatang mga abs ang mga iyon, eh. Samantalang ako meron.”

I rolled my eyes. Here’s his kahanginan again. Hindi na talaga maubos-ubos.

“Just stop talking, Simour. Hindi required sa bodyguards ang magkaroon ng abs,” saad ko.

“Ikaw kasi, eh!” aniya.

“What?! Anong ginawa ko, aber?!” asik ko.

“Kino-compare mo ako doon sa mga bodyguard mo, hindi naman hamak na mas gwapo ako sa mga iyon,” aniya.

I rolled my eyes. “Just hurry, okay? Ang dami mo pang sinasabi—”

Bigla niyang binilisan ang takbo kaya impit akong napatili at napayakap sa kanya. Pinagkukurot ko ang tagiliran niya na ikinatawa niya lang.

“—Simour! Slow down, you asshole! Baka mabangga tayo! You’re such an asshole talaga!” asik ko.

Tumawa siya. “Sabi ko ‘hurry’, eh. Edi binilisan ko. Tapos ngayong binilisan ko, galit ka naman? Ano ba talaga?”

“Ewan ko sayo! Stop talking and focus on driving na lang! Nakakainis ka talaga!”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Ilang beses ko pa siyang nakurot, nahampas at nasigawan habang nasa biyahe kami. I am so annoyed with him and his driving skills. He’s telling me na his ability to drive a ducati fast is a skill at mas lalo akong nainis. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ang tagal matapos ng oras. Nakakabwesit siya!

When we arrived at the cemetery, I was so annoyed. Gulong-gulo ang buhok ko sa haba ng biyahe. Naninigas na nga ang buhok ko, eh! Gago kasi ang driver!

Nang makababa ako sa motor niya ay nakasimangot na inayos ko ang magulo kong buhok. Pinagtatanggal ko ang naninigas na mga hibla.

The asshole was looking at me with a smirk on his lips. Gaya ko ay magulo rin ang buhok niya pero mukha pa rin naman siyang tao. It’s so unfair! Ako mukhang bruha sa buhok ko samantalang siya ang gwapo pa rin!

He looks like a bad boy on a ducati while wearing a black leather jacket. Na-miss ko rin ang pormahan niyang ganito noon.

“Ayos ka lang, babe?” May pang-aasar niyang tanong.

I immediately gave him a death glare. “You think I’m okay? Look at my hair! Supero tigas ng hair ko tsaka ang gulo-gulo even though I’m wearing your damn helmet! Did you put a lot of hair spray on you hair ba at dumikit sa helmet mo?! It looks like dumikit na rin sa buhok ko, eh!”

Tumawa siya saka lumapit sa akin. Akmang hahampasin ko siya gamit ang bag ko nang bigla siyang nagtaas ng kamay na tila ba sumusuko.

“Tutulungan lang kita sa pag-aayos sa buhok mo, babe. Huwag ka nang magalit diyan,” aniya.

I glared at him. “Ayusin mo, ah! This is your fault naman kasi! Bakit ba kasi sobrang dami ng hair spray na ginagamit mo?! Naninigas na rin tuloy ang buhok ko!”

Tumataas talaga ang dugo ko kapag nandiyan siya, eh! Ewan ko kung bakit?! My gosh!

Agad naman niyang hinawakan ang mahaba at medyo kulot kong buhok saka agad na sinuklay gamit ang daliri niya. Nakasimangot lang ako buong segundo. Naiinis talaga ako sa kanya, eh.

“Oh, ayan, okay na,” aniya.

I immediately touched my hair. Tama naman siya. Maayos na ang buhok ko.

Tiningnan ko siya saka inirapan samantalang siya naman ay may multo na ngisi.

Agad ko siyang dinuro. “Don’t you dare smirk at me! Naiinis ako sayo, ha!”

Agad ko siyang tinalikuran saka naglakad patungo sa puntod ng anak ko. I then placed the flowers that I bought on her tombstone and then sat in front of her.

Agad kong naramdaman si Simour na nakatayo sa tabi ko. He caressed the tomb before he sat beside me.

This is a first time. Our first time to be together. I, Simour and our baby. Maybe, she wished to see me and his Dad together kaya ito at nangyari na nga. I hope she’s happy.

“How did you know that this is where her tomb is located?” I asked him.

As far as I can remember, I and my family tend to keep it to ourselves just to make sure na walang paparazzi na magpipicture sa puntod ng anak ko.

“Nagmakaawa ako sa Dad at Mom mo na sabihin sa akin. Hindi naman nila tinago sa akin at sinabi agad. Kaya palagi akong pumupunta rito,” aniya.

Kumunot ang noo ko. “Kung palagi ka pala na pumupunta rito, then why didn’t I saw you?”

Ngumiti siya. “I saw you a lot of times,” aniya. “Pero nagtatago ako dahil baka… ayaw mo akong makita at mag-away pa tayo sa harap niya. Madalas kitang naaabutan rito pero hindi ako nagpapakita sayo. Saka lang ako lumalabas kapag umaalis ka na.”

I sighed and pursed my lips. “Hindi naman ako magagalit. I’ve already moved on from the past, Simour. Our baby helped me.”

Bumuntong-hininga rin siya. “Good for you then. Kasi ako hindi pa nakakalimot. Hindi ko makalimutan lahat ng kagaguhang ginawa ko. Lahat ng sakit na naiparanas ko sayo. Lahat ng luhang lumandas sa mga pisngi mo nang dahil sa akin. Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang araw na iyon… no’ng nakita kitang duguan sa gitna ng kalsada.”

Nilingon ko siya saka kinunutan ng noo. “You were there?” I asked.

He nodded. “Oo. Ako ang nagdala sayo sa hospital. Ako tumawag sa parents mo. They were so mad at me when they arrived. Pero naiintindihan ko naman sila, eh. Sino ba naman ang hindi magagalit, diba?” He breathed in. “Matindi ang takot na naramdaman ko noong nakita kitang duguan at walang kulay ang labi. Akala ko… mawawala ka na sa akin. Pero tama naman ako, eh. Kasi no’ng nawala ang anak natin… nawala ka na rin sa akin.”

I stayed silent. He continued. “Araw-araw kong sinisisi ang sarili ko sa nangyari… sa pagkawala niya. Araw-araw akong naglalasing at umiiyak. Nawalan ng patutunguhan ang buhay ko.”

I felt a lump on my throat knowing that he suffered too. We both suffered. We were both in pain.

“How did you cope up?” mahina kong tanong.

“Dinala ako nina Mom at Dad sa ibang bansa. Gaya ng matagal na nilang plano, they made me study there. Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang magsikap na lang. Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na magiging successful ako para kahit papaano maging proud naman kayo sa akin,” aniya.

I smiled a bit. I could feel the tingling pain in my heart as if someone just stabbed it with a knife but I don’t know why I am smiling. I don’t know why I am happy while in this kind of pain?

“We’re proud of you,” wika ko. “I am proud of you, Simour.”

Nilingon niya ako saa ngumiti. His eyes are bloodshot. “Talaga?”

I nodded and smiled at him. The pain slowly faded like it became a ghost in the past. It left my heart like it no longer want to live there.

“Talaga!” wika ko. “I am so happy seeing you become an architect. Tapos ngayon, gumagawa ka na ng projects. Who wouldn’t be proud of you, diba?”

He smiled. This time, I could see how genuine it is. “Thank you. Ang swerte-swerte ko sayo pero ang malas-malas mo sa akin.”

I shook my head. “Maybe, we were just too young back then, Simour. We still didn’t know what’s right from wrong.”

He nodded. “Siguro nga.” Tumingin siya sa puntod ng anak namin. “Ano pa ang mga gusto mong gawin ngayong successful ka na?”

I smiled. “A lot. I am actually building an animal shelter. Tapos I always go to the Paradise orphanage para mamigay ng gifts at foods sa mga bata. I donate money there din para may puhunan ang mga pamilya doon to create a small business. Tsaka, I already bought myself a condo, I have my own business, I have travelled to my favorite places somehow… so I guess, the only thing that I want to achieve right now is… to have a family.”

Saglit siyang natahimik. Ako naman ay may ngiting nakaguhit sa mga labi.

Yes, after everything I’ve been through, I still want to get married and build a family. I want to see my kids. I know that it’s near to impossible pero I don’t lose hope. I believe that I will have kids.

“Eh, ikaw ba? Anong plano mo?” tanong ko sa kanya.

Tipid siyang ngumiti. “Magkapamilya.”

I smiled. “Parehas pala tayo ng goal, eh.”

He shook his head. “Kaso ikaw pa rin ang gusto kong maging Nanay ng mga anak ko.”

Mahina akong natawa. “Uhm… have you already met your friends? You know, Evs, Clad and Eros?”

He nodded. “Oo. Ilang beses na nga, eh. Actually, plano ko kapag natapos namin ang project na ginagawa namin diyan sa school ninyo, lilipat ako ng firm.”

“Saan naman?” tanong ko.

“Kay Evs. Mas gusto ko doon.”

“Bakit? Hindi mo ba gusto ang firm ninyo today?” tanong ko.

“Hindi naman sa hindi gusto. Talagang masyadong mahilig sa kompetisyon ang mga kasama ko. Kina Evs kasi walang ganoon. Nagtutulungan sila. Kaya lilipat ako,” wika niya.

I nodded. “Well, you’ll be a great architect kapag nagkasama kayong dalawa ni Evs. Great projects would be coming ahead of you.”

Ngumiti siya. “Sana nga.” Nilingon niya ako. “Eh, ikaw? Wala ka bang planong asikasuhin ang business ng parents mo?”

I pursed my lips. “I have. But for now sa pagtuturo muna ako nag-focus. Tsaka hindi naman ako minamadali nina Dad at Mom kaya okay lang.”

Saglit kaming kinain ng katahimikan bago siya muling nagsalita. “Tingin mo, masaya na kaya siya?”

I look at him. “Who?”

“Ang anak natin. Siguro matagal na niyang gustong makita tayong magkasama,” aniya.

I smiled and nodded. Tumingin ako sa puntod niya. “Sigurado akong masaya na siya, Simour. Finally, she’s seeing us together. And finally we’re both happy.”

Huminga siya ng malalim. “Anong oras na ba? Baka gabi na masyado. Ihahatid na kita sa inyo. Baka hinahanap ka na, eh.”

Tumingin ako sa wristwatch ko. “Malapit nang mag-seven. Sige, ihatid mo na ako. It’s really late na. May curfew pa rin ako up until now.”

Tumawa siya. “Very good pa rin ang Daddy mo hanggang ngayon. Binibigyan ka pa rin ng curfew. Mabuti iyan. Babae ka, eh.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not okay! I’m old enough to handle myself na! I don’t need curfew!”

Mahina siyang natawa. “Okay na okay sa akin iyon. At least alam kong safe ka.”

I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes. “My gosh! Parehas na parehas kayo ng parents ko! Nakaka-stress.”

Napailing siya. “Halika, iuuwi na kita baka hinahanap ka na talaga sa inyo.”

Tumango na lang ako dahil wala naman akong choice. I also want to rest naman.

I caressed my baby’s tomb and smiled. “Bye, baby. I’ll be back tomorrow, okay? Mommy have to rest. I’m so tired from work.”

Hinaplos niya rin ang puntod nito. “Sana masaya kang nakikita kaming ganito ng Mommy mo, baby. Huwag kang mag-alala, maraming nag-aalaga sa Mommy mo kaya palagi siyang nasa maayos na kalagayan.”

I smiled. “Halika na. I need to go home.”

Mabilis kaming tumungo sa ducati niya. He then made me wear his helmet na puno ng hair spray.

He held my waist and made me sat on his big bike before he settled himself in front. He then started the engine and then again we had a long night.

After that day, Simour didn’t stop pestering me. Lalo pa’t araw-araw siyang naroroon sa paaralan namin para sa pag-aayos nila sa court at syempre sa mga classrooms. Talagang hindi na niya ako tinigilan sa pang-iinis niya. Though, there were times na hindi ako naaasar sa kanya. Pero madalang lang din.

One morning, I woke up in the morning with Mom’s annoying shouts outside my bedroom’s door. Sigaw siya nang sigaw at ginigising ako.

“Primm? Primmly Athena?! Wake up! Get up!” anito.

Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko saka inis na bumangon mula sa kama. Humikab ako saka nag-inat-inat. Akmang maglalakad na ako patungo sa pinto para buksan nang magsalita siya.

“Get dressed, clean yourself and hurry up, Primmly Athena. I’ll wait for you downstairs,” aniya saka agad kong narinig ang takong niya paalis.

I sighed. Ginawa ko naman agad ang sinabi niya. I took a bath, get dressed then went out of my bedroom.

Gaya ulit ng sabi niya, I went straight to the living room where she told me she’d wait for me.

“Yes, Mom? What is it?” tanong ko agad sa kanya nang makarating.

She stopped talking and stilled. I raised my brows. She look at me and looked at me from head to toe.

Bahagya akong napanguso. Lumapit ako sa kanya. “What is it, Mom?”

“What are you wearing, Primmly Athena?” aniya.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa suot kong pambahay. There’s nothing wrong with my clothes. It’s simple a black spaghetti strapped upper and a white short shorts.

“What? What’s wrong with my clothes? Lagi namang ganito ang suot ko dito sa house, ah.” Kunot-noo kong wika.

She sighed. Then I heard someone cleared its throat from behind me.

Agad akong napalingon dito. My eyes widened and my cheeks reddened when I saw the people in the area.

My eyes stopped at the guy who’s right hand is on his chin as he checked up on my body with a smirk on his lips.

“Uh… G-Good morning po. G-Good morning,” utal kong sabi.

“Good morning to you too, hija,” wika naman ng Dad ni Simour while his Mom is just staring at me with a ghost smile on her lips habang palipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa amin ng anak niya.

“Uh… m-magbibihis lang po ako. E-Excuse me,” wika ko.

Agad akong tumakbo pabalik sa kwarto ko. Nang makapasok ay siyang pagsisigaw ko sa hiya. Pulang-pula ang mukha ko nang manalamin ako. Ilang beses akong bumuntong-hininga para pakalmahin ang sarili.

Nagbihis ako agad. Isang putting spaghetti strapped dress ang isinuot ko. Nang matapos ay inayos ko ang buhok ko saka ako bumaba ng kwarto.

I went back to the living room. I immediately sat next to Dad. Nakinig na lang ako sa pinag-usapan nila.

Samantalang pansin ko ang titig sa akin ni Simour. Nasa harap ko lang siya pero hindi ako tumitingin sa gawi niya dahil naiilang ako.

“So, are you going to have a conference meeting?” tanong ng Dad ni Simour kay Mom.

“Yes, Castro. I just have to make sure that everything will go with the plan. Though, I have plan B, I still have to be certain with this one,” wika ni Mommy.

Simour’s Dad nodded. “I would stay behind you back then. Anyway, balita ko ay naging business partner mo ang dati naming kaaway ni Seleno sa school during college, ah.”

Mom chuckled. “Well, yeah. I got no choice. He begged to me that he needed help. Wala akong magawa. Naaawa ako sa kanya. He have a family and he changed naman kaya tinulungan ko na lang din.”

“I actually don’t want him to be her business partner, pero siya mismo ang may gusto so I got no choice,” sabad naman ni Daddy.

Mahinang ngumisi ang Dad ni Simour. “Still so jealous, Seleno? Come on, my man. You’re old, stop being a baby.”

My Dad glared at him. “Shut up! You’re a baby too! I could still remember how you cried like crazy when Maribelle left you for her studies abroad.”

Napakurap ako. I already knew that they were good friends during college. Nasabi na sa akin iyon ng nagtitinda ng fishball noon. But I didn’t know they’re this close.

Agad na nawala ang ngisi sa mukha ng Daddy ni Simour. “Shut up! Hindi ko rin makalimutan kung paano ka pinag-igib ng maraming tubig ng Tatay ni Parsia. Hinarana mo pa nga, eh! Kumanta ka pa kahit ang pangit ng boses mo!”

My Dad gave him a death glare. “Why are you fucking here anyway?” Nilingon ni Dad si Mom. “Why did you let this brute come in my house, hon?”

Tinaasan ni Mommy ng kilay si Dad. “Shut up, Seleno. Behave. Don’t be a baby.”

Humagikhik ako nang suminghap si Daddy. Napailing na lang siya at hindi na nagsalita kahit pa nakasimangot pa rin siya.

Bahagya kaming nagkatinginan ni Simour. Parehas kaming may ngiti sa labi. Pero agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin kasabay ang pamumula ng pisngi ko.

“Anyway,” ani ng Mommy ni Simour.

Nasa akin ang tingin niya. Hindi ko pa rin malimutan kung paano niya kaayaw sa akin dati. Hanggang ngayon pa rin ba?

“So, Primmly,” aniya. “How did you cope up with the lose of your daughter?”

I could feel how icy she is but somehow it isn’t the same as before. Dati ay ramdam kong ayaw na ayas niya sa akin. But this time, I couldn’t feel it.

Tipid akong ngumiti. “It was a bumpy journey po, Ma’am. I got depressed but I was able to save myself. I am thankful rin po sa parents ko at sa mga friends ko because they didn’t left my side when I was chained on the pain before.”

She nodded. “I know. It’s really hard,” aniya.

I could feel a hint of sadness on her voice. Something that I haven’t heard before.

“Yeah,” wika ko.

“I lost a baby too,” aniya na kinagulat ko. “He was older than SJ. It was very hard for me. Just like you, I got depressed. I locked myself inside my room without food or water. Iyak lang ako nang iyak. I was even hallucinating things at that time, nakikita ko siyang gumagapang sa sahig at naglalaro.” She sighed. “My condition got worst so Carlos have to bring me to the doctor. They treated me.”

“I’m sorry,” bulong ko.

I never thought she experienced such horrible thing as well. No wonder she’s so overprotective over Simour. Because she lost one, she don’t want to lose another.

She smiled a bit. “But I’m fine now. I hope you are too.”

I smiled a bit and nodded. “I am too.”

Tumukhim ang Dad ni Simour. “So, we are expecting an heir for the businesses that will be inherited in the near future. Tumatanda na kami. Kailangan na namin ng susunod sa yapak namin. We need an heir as soon as possible,” anito.

Kumunot ang noo ko. I glanced at Simour who was already pursing his lips and playing with his finger while looking down.

My Dad agreed and nodded. “As much as I fucking hate you, I agree. We really need someone who will took our footsteps. Hindi naman pwedeng iwan lang namin kani-kanino ang businesses namin.”

My Mom nodded. “Right. We spent our blood, sweat and tears on it. We spent our lives on it kaya ayaw namin itong masayang. We want someone to take care of it. Someone who is part of our family.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. Napapakamot ako sa kilay ko kasi hindi pa ako masyadong handa na hawakan ang businesses nina Mom. The last time we had a talk was when they told me na hindi naman nila ako minamadali. Pero ngayon, minamadali na nila ako. Gosh!

“I agree. I’ve been there. Sobrang hirap palaguin at palakihin ang isang negosyo. Ypu have to cry a million tears and waste a million sweats just to make it big,” wika ng Mommy ni Simour. “I maybe just a head teacher of the school but my husband owned that school. And trust me, it was really hard for us to find students na willing mag-aral sa paaralan namin.”

I nodded. Nilingon ko sina Mom. “Mommy, you told me naman na hindi mo ako mamadaliin, diba? You told me last time no’ng nag-usap tayo. I still want to focus on being a teacher.”

My Dad and Mom nodded.  Mom answered, “Yes, hon. Pumayag naman ako. Sinabi ko naman na sayo na huwag mong e-stress ang sarili mo. You can tell us anytime kung gusto mo nang magtrabaho sa kompanya at kung gusto mo nang subukan ang business.”

It made me smile. “Alright. Akala ko gusto niyo na mag-take-over ako, eh. I’m still not yet ready.”

“Well, SJ have plans,” wika ng Mommy ni Simour. “He’s good with business. Hindi lang halata dahil architect siya at masyado siyang mapaglaro. But he can keep a business running well.”

Nagkatinginan kami ni Simour. Paunti-unti ay bumabangon na ang pagtataka ko.

“Really?” ani Dad. “I’m sorry but I don’t trust your boy. Mukhang nagmana iyan kay Carlos. Ayoko. I’m not going to let him handle my businesses and wife’s.”

Kumunot muli ang noo ko. At bakit si Simour ang hahawak sa negosyo nila? Nandito naman ako. I already told them that I am going to handle it soon kapag ready na talaga ako.

“Don’t be a pussy, Seleno. My son is good in running businesses. Well, mana naman talaga siya sa akin. We’re both great in business field. You’ll see if you’d let him,” ani ng Daddy ni Simour.

Umiling si Dad. “Ayoko. I’d rather wait for my daughter’s heir to come out from her womb than let your son handle my businesses.”

Kumunot muli ang noo ko. Heir? Womb?

“What is it going to do with me and my womb?” tanong ko sa kanya.

Tumaas ang kilay nilang lahat. Tila ba nagtataka sila sa tanong ko. Tila ba hindi nila ako naiintindihan. Well, kwits lang kami. I don’t get them also.

“Aren’t you two getting married? You are, right? Well, that’s pretty good. I mean, comeback is better than finding another,” wika ng Mommy ni Simour sabay turo sa aming dalawa.

Saglit na nag-loading ang utak ko. Kunot na kunot ang ko. Magkasalubong ang kilay habang pinapasadahan sila ng tingin isa-isa.

My Dad and Mom were looking at me with questions on their eyes. Simour’s Dad and Mom were looking at me with confusion. While Simour is looking down his feet as he played with his fingers and purses his lips like a boy who did something really really bad.

Napatayo ako. “Wait, wait. Who’s getting married?!”

Napatingala sila sa akin. Tumaas ang kilay ng Mom ko. “You and Sim? Aren’t you two getting married?”

Nanlalaki ang mga matang nilingon ko si Simour. “Simour?! What are they saying?! Bakit sila lang ang may alam na ikakasal ako?! Bakit ako hindi ko alam?!” I yelled at him not caring about our parent’s presence.

He smiled apologetically and nervously at me and said, “Sorry, babe. Nakalimutan kong sabihin sa kanila na manliligaw pa pala ako.”

What an asshole!

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©️thorned_heartu