“Since you are so afraid of coming into my room, I will be in yours instead.” Amora said as she childishly hopped into my bed and collapsed on my body.
“It’s for your own protection miss. You’ve been warned.” I said tickling her by the sides and she wriggled on top of me, her laughter like music to my ears.
“Stop Roman. I’m really glad you came to church with me today.”
“I’m glad I did. So Amora, any favorite thing about white Oakland yet?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yes Roman. You. You are not just my favorite thing in white Oakland, you are my favorite thing in the world.”
I blushed. I’m telling you, Amora could make a man blush.
“You are pretty amazing, you know that?”
“No. I don’t.” she giggled.
“You my darling are amazing and I love you, please tell me you know that.” I said and tickled her again.
“You haven’t told me today.” She pouted.
“I love you Amora and I promise, I will say those words to you everyday till the day I die.”
“Good thing I love you too and I promise to say those words back to you everyday till the day I die.” Amora said pulling at my nose. We kept that promise to each other and even days when we fought, we still said the words and I loved her more each day I said it. Even though she’s gone now, I still say it to her every morning. Call me crazy but I promised and I’m not a man to break a promise certainly not the ones I made to Amora.
“There is something I’ve wanted to tell you for sometime now but I didn’t because I didn’t want to sound like a perv.” I said.
“What is it?”
“You really do have a nice butt.”
Amora laughed and blushed. “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”
                          ________________
I went to the office the next day and for the rest of the week, and I tried my possible best to avoid Derek. Sometimes I was successful, other times I wasn’t. The times we saw each other, he would smile, a weak apologetic smile and I would give him a blank look. I didn’t hate Derek. I couldn’t hate him. I just wished I had found out about his affair with Sally from him. I deserved that. But no, he kept it a secret and I had to hear it from Mrs. Harris. Mrs. Harris of all people. I knew I was finally going to forgive Derek but I wasn’t ready.
                       _________________
“I did something you might not like and I know you are going to get mad but please while you are mad, remember that you love me and that I love you…” Amora strutted out the moment I walked through the front door of the house. My head spun. What could she have done? My mom.
“Amora. Did anything happen to my mom?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Then what is it? What happened?”
“I invited Mrs. Harris over for dinner.” She said tightly shutting her eyes.
“You did what? Amora come on. Why did you do that? You don’t know that woman, she’s only probably trying to find a way into our lives…”
“Roman, she’s just a lonely lady.”
“So she could find out things about us and then spread them around town.”
“Why would she do that? And besides we have absolutely nothing to hide.”
“Amora that’s not the point. It’s called a private life for a reason. If the entire world was supposed to know about it, trust me, they’d call it something else.” I said with my voice raised. She said nothing. She just stood there looking at me, pursing her lips.
“Amora. You invited a stranger into our home without my consent.”
“Our home?” She asked and a sweet grin appeared on her face but that was not the point, the point was that I was uncomfortable with what she had done.
“Are you kidding me right now? Was that the only thing you heard? Yes Amora. Our home. Yours and mine.” My voice was still raised.
“If it’s our home, we have equal rights am I right? Fifty-fifty?”
“What?”
“You are a lawyer. You should know that. So since it’s our home, we have equal inviting rights.”
I laughed. “Equal inviting rights. Amora, Seriously.”
“See, I’m smart too. I might not have a college degree and I don’t have to put on a suit and a tie every morning or own the biggest law firm in town or wear that I am a serious lawyer face for me to be smart.”
“Amora, I don’t have an I am a serious lawyer face.”
“Oh yes you do. You wear it every morning before leaving for work. It’s like every morning you yank it out of your closet and just put it on.” She said chuckling. I wanted to make her laugh so I made a face, the serious lawyer face.
“This face?”
“Yes Roman.” She said and burst into laughter and I pulled her by her waist into my chest.
“Roman. I’m sorry. Please don’t be made at me. You are really scary when you are mad.”
I bent and kissed her forehead. “I’m not mad at you. You are too pretty and adorable for me to be mad at you.”
Her cheeks turned red. “I could go over to Mrs. Harris’ and un-invite her.”
“No. Don’t do that. That would be rude and you are not a rude person. Plus I wouldn’t want you to sue me.”
“Sue you?”
“Yes. For trampling on your inviting rights.”
“Roman.” She playfully pulled at my cheeks.
I lowered my head and kissed her lips and I used my index finger to draw a line along her jawline. Then I invaded her mouth with my tongue, exploring every inch of it, craving for more, wanting more, and needing Amora. The wetness of our mouths mixed and our tongues swirled around each other in joyful celebration. A short gasp escapes my mouth as I pulled Amora closure into my body, rubbing her against my erection. My erection. I got that everyday. Whenever I saw Amora, whenever I touched her, whenever I heard her talk or laugh or whenever I saw her smile. Good gracious that smile. I wanted her, I wanted her to be mine completely.
Amora inhaled deeply and gripped the collars of my shirt, her lips sweetly rough against mine. The heat between us was escalating and I wanted to rip her blouse apart and just take her. Amora took my hands and placed them on her breasts. My senses flew back to my head and I pulled away from her.
“Why?” She was gasping for air and I needed to calm my breath too. My heart was pounding hard against my chest and my pants were already slightly stained with pre-cum. I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.
“You don’t really want to do this. It’s the moment, it’s messing with you, with us and once it passes, you’d start to regret or feel guilty.”
“You don’t want me?” She asked quietly.
“Are you serious?” I asked and pointed at my erection. “I want to make love to you so badly but more than that, I don’t want you to hate me after it and I don’t want you to regret anything about us.”
Amora sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve never felt the things you make me feel. It’s strong enough to make me want to sin. My body… everything just feels amazing and I don’t want it to stop.”
“You are a Virgin?” I knew it was a dumb question. I was the first man she was on a date with but still I had to hear it from her and not just assume.
“Yes. I’ve never been with any man. I didn’t even know what it felt like to be kissed by a man till you.”
“What?” It couldn’t be. I could have sworn she knew exactly what to do when we kissed. “Wow. I couldn’t even tell. You kiss too damn well for someone with no experience.”
“Instincts?” she shrugged.
“That makes you a natural. I’m impressed.”

The dinner with Mrs. Harris wasn’t so bad. It went the complete opposite direction that I had imagined it would go. She was surprisingly funny and had plenty funny stories to tell. I realized Amora was right about her. She was just lonely. Then I felt bad for judging her. She was my neighbor but I had never been to her place and that was her first time in mine and it was only because Amora invited her.
“I’m sorry about your husband and children. Amora told me you lost them in a car crash.” I said.
“Oh my. Mrs. Harris. I didn’t know.” My mom said with her hands on her chest.
“It’s okay. I don’t talk about it. It was a long time ago. I was the only one who survived that crash. They all died. You know, if they were still alive, my eldest would have been right about your age Roman.”
“You must miss them so much.” My mom said with sympathy in her eyes.
“Everyday. And living in a town where I don’t fit in doesn’t make it any easier.”
“Mrs. Harris. Why would you say that?” Amora asked.
“It’s true. No one here likes me. I’m the old mean lady with the bad leg. I know. I don’t have any friends. Amora is really my first friend here.”
“Well you have us now.” My mom said. “We’ll all be your friends. Right Roman?”
“Yes Mrs. Harris.”
                           _______________
It was Saturday and it was Derek and Sally’s wedding day. They were getting married in the Catholic Church downtown and I heard the entire town was going. Derek marries Sally, I would never have guessed that. On a normal day, I should have been his best man but I wasn’t even invited to the wedding. Not like anyone was actually personally invited, there was an open invitation for all that wanted to attend.
“Do you want to go?” Amora asked me, her head on my chest and my fingers combing through her curly hair.
“No. It will be too awkward.”
“Are you still mad?”
“No Amora. I told you already, I’m not mad at them for what they did anymore. I’m just waiting for him to make the first move.”
Amora giggled, “Pride.”
“What’s wrong with a man having a little bit of pride?”
Amora was silent. I already knew her too well. I already knew what every expression on her face meant. I knew what her silence meant too.
“Fine. I’ll talk to him but only if I really have a reason to.”
“Okay.” She kissed my chest. “I have something for you.” Amora dipped her hand into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a book. It was a bible.
“Wow. A bible. And look, it’s brand new.” I was excited and touched. “Amora you said you had no money left and you refused the money I give you saying I have already done too much so how did you…?
“I used the last one I had to get you that so tomorrow when we’ll all be going to church, you will proudly go with yours.”
“Come here.” I pulled her back into my chest and I squeezed her.
“You didn’t have to but thank you.”
                          _________________
“Roman. I’m tired. I don’t have much time. I can feel it.” My mom said, her voice so weak and fragile and shaky. Her body had emaciated a lot from the time I brought her from the hospital.
“Are you in pain?” I said into her ears.
“Yes. I’m in a lot of pain. Please son, take me to the beach. I want to see it one last time.”
“Okay.” I said in my bravest voice.
My mom sat in the sand with a blanket wrung around her lean body. Amora stood a distance away from us and she was staring into the blue sea. I sat beside my mom and I looked into the sea but my eyes met the silver lined horizon. The waves were surging but only gently as they cascaded onto the shore. They sang a song so melodious that I had to close my eyes to take it all in.
“Are you scared?” My eyes were still closed.
“No I’m not. I feel at peace. He really does listen you know?”
I opened my eyes and turned to face my mom and her dull tired eyes already looked at me.
“God. He does listen.” She said again. “When I found out I wasn’t responding well to the treatment I was given, I was terrified. I wanted to keep trying because I didn’t want to leave you but Roman, I was too tired, I’m too tired and then I prayed. I asked Him to send you someone, someone who will take care of you when I’m gone, someone who will love you unconditionally and he answered.” She said and slowly moved her gaze to where Amora stood. “She’s no accident Roman. She’s the answer to my prayer.”
“It’s funny because I prayed too. I asked him to send me help and he did. He did even before I prayed. He heard the prayers of a helpless mother and her son. I know she’s no accident mom. She’s my angel. Amora’s my angel.” The wind was strong and I watched it blow against Amora, forcing all her hair back, rippling through her clothes. It made her look glorious.
“I sent dad a voice-mail, either he didn’t get it, or he ignored it.”
My mom smiled. “It’s okay. I want to apologize to you. I loved your dad too much and when he left, I neglected you and I shouldn’t have. I should have been a better mother to you. I should have been stronger for you. I’m so sorry my son.” Her eyes were red with tears.
“Mom. It’s okay. I’m sorry too for pushing you away. I lost a father and you lost a husband. We both lost him but it was more painful for you. I knew that. I should have understood you.” I sniffed in the tears that tried to make their way out of me.
“I love you son. I love you so much.”
“I love you too mom.” I stood and sat behind her and I pulled her body gently, so she rested against me.
“Will you dance with me?” She suddenly asked.
“Mom.”
“Please?”
I stood and tenderly pulled her up against me. Her body felt so frail on my hands. Then we danced, -thank goodness Amora taught me- very slowly, I think to the rhythm of the waves and Amora watched. I knew she watched us.