I wasn't always like this, I was actually nice and caring. I had a group of friends who I loved hanging out with, especially, Adrien. He was always there for me 24/7, when the sun shined, to the fog of clouds over my head. He was the only one who helped me feel better, not even my own dad could help me.

At those times is when we got close, we quickly became best friends and did everything together. It was a happier time, I had my father, mother, and Adrien by my side. Nothing could break the pure joy that reined out of my smile.

But one day something was wrong, Adrien wouldn't pick up the phone, no matter how many times she called. Not even his father and mother, Gabriel and Emily, would answer. I even had my dad call the two parents cell phones. Nothing.

After about a week of being shut out from the family, my mother told me to go to the Agreste's house to see if they were okay. So the two of us walked over to the Agretse mansion with a basket filled with an assortment of fruits and chocolate.

When we arrived, their assistant, Natalie welcomed them in, but by the look on the woman's face did not help my worry.

A little later we were told that Emily Agreste had disappeared. One morning, the two family members woke up to a motherless/wifeless house. She didn't leave any clues to where she left off too, not even a simple note.

Months later and no sign of Emily Agreste showed up. Unfortunately, Adrien had never been the same since. He never smiled, never laughed, and he barely even talked to me anymore.

Though Adrien was taking the situation bad, Gabriel was worse. He shut himself, including his son from the outside world. The distraught man built a large, metal fence around his house, a cage, so no one can come in or go out without his permission. He installed dozens of security cameras around and inside the house. The welcoming mansion, in a matter of weeks, turned into a jail cell.

It made me mad, how could Gabriel take away my best friend away from me? Not only that, but how could he do that to his own son? He took Adrien out of school, forcing the boy to be surveyed in the huge jail.

That was when my anger and tantrums had started. It was a very tamed version of what I am now, but it was still pretty bad for a six year old girl.

After a year of being shut out from Adrien, though they did talk a bit on the phone every now and then, something happened that ruined my whole life, and had formed most of who I am today.

My mother died. Her lungs had been clogged and right before my eyes, my mother collapsed. The image still haunts me to this day, my mother's beautiful bleach blonde hair lying sprawled on the floor, her normally porcelain skinned face, bloated with red. Her hand was clutched on her left arm, taking eager gasps of air.

I still remember the frantic movements and shoutings from my father. Our butlers helping him carry my mother out the door. I was frozen, paralyzed in my spot. I was too young to understand what was happening, but I knew that it was bad, that my mother was in deep trouble.

February 15, was the date of the funeral for 39 year old, Margret Bourgeois. The worst day of my life and I have never been the same.

I got angry, at the doctors and myself. What if I could've helped her, saved her, instead of clinging to one of our maids, crying inside the kitchen, where my mother had fallen. What if one of the doctors was taking too long, and that was the reason they couldn't save her in time?

I denied every other possibility. I never had the thought that it wasn't anyone's fault. That it was partially her mothers for not taking care of herself. That maybe it was no ones fault at all, and these things just happen.

Just like Gabriel, I shut myself out. I didn't talk to anyone, with the exception of my personal butler, for two months. In that time I had lost my friends, any connection with them was gone, except for Adrien. He was the only one who comforted me after those  months being mute.

Sure, my dad tried to talk to me, but I couldn't stand the reminder of her. Every time I looked at him, I would think of my mother. I noticed that my dad wasn't doing so good either, he was gaining a lot of weight, and every now and then I could hear his sobs from the shower.

He would constantly ask if I wanted something, anything at all. So I started asking, a lot. It was first just small things like, a bag of popcorn, or a book to read. Then I started demanding for stuff, expensive stuff, which wasn't a problem because we were rich, but still. I asked for shoes, then turned to couture dresses and handbags that costed a fortune. Then it only got worse, a king size bed, a flat screen t.v., a personal stylist.

I got greedy, I started treating the butlers and maids like servants. Demanding for anything I wanted, not caring if it had hurt the workers. I became a snotty, rich, brat, and people knew it. I was feared by others, even my own dad started greeting jumpy whenever I didn't get my way.

I would use my dad as an excuse, whenever someone didn't want to do what I told them. It had worked to people's dismay, but I didn't care. All I wanted was for people to give me what I want.

I was known as the rich, popular girl in school, which I didn't mind at all. I decided that since my butlers and maids did everything I wanted, I would treat my classmates and teachers the same way. It was hard to find a friend, so what did I do? I picked the most naive girl in class, then bribed her. It wasn't long at all to have the redhead wrapped around my finger.

I started getting lazy with my school work, and I noticed it with how low my marks were. Another thing I noticed, was how Sabrina had straight A's on all of her tests. I bribed her, so she would do my homework for me, a perfect plan that I now regret.

Over the years I couldn't help but notice that her friend, Adrien got a lot more good looking over the years. I can tell you now that puberty hit him hard, which was a bonus for me. I became obsessed with him, going to many of his photo shoots, flirting with him to his dismay. I made myself believe that since she could get anything she wanted, why not a handsome model?

Our friendship faded, but it was still hanging on, even if it was just by a thread. I was delusional to my surroundings, oblivious to others feelings. I broke people's hearts, I made my best friend, among everyone who I met, despise me, all while having no clue. I was utterly a mess.

One day, there was a new girl that came to school, her name was, Marinette. She was another regret I made. She was the only one who passed off my demands, the only one who didn't bother with my rants.

That was a huge mistake on both our parts. I didn't like how this one small girl suddenly came in from no where, and was ignoring my demands. The petite girl started to talk to the other classmates, changing their minds to stand up for themselves. And it worked. My classmates were rioting.

So I did the one thing I could think of, make Marinette Dupain-Cheng's life miserable. I bullied her, made her life a living hell, doing that scared the classmates, ending the riots. Since the riots ended, I stopped being so harsh on the fragile girl, but that didn't stop the mean words I was saying to her and others.

What made me be even worse, was that I liked the power I had over the girl with raven hair. I could make her do anything I wanted with my threats, so I started to do it to others. Everyone hated me even more, now with a great passion, except for little naive Sabrina.

This went on for two years until a brunette newbie came along, Alya Césaire. She stood up for Marinette, not to mention befriending her. Since then, Marinette has been a lot braver, she stood up to me, even if I was giving her a hard time.

Even though the whole Marinette being brave and stuff was starting to get annoying, I still had something to be happy about. Adrien was coming back to school. Some how he convinced his stubborn father to let him go to high school, not like I was complaining.

Finally I could have him for my own, I could win him over, being by his side almost every single day. Things were defiantly getting better for me.

Not long after, Paris was blessed with the protection of two super heroes, Ladybug and Chat Noir. Though it was rocky at the start with the whole Stone Heart incident, Ladybug soon made up for it, looking super cool doing it in my eyes.

Ladybug became my idol, sure Chat Noir was cool too, but his stupid puns made him sink on my radar. I became obsessed with the girl heroine, I had my designer make a copy of her spotted suit, I even had the earrings LB would wear.

Every akuma that would appear, I knew that Ladybug, oh and Chat Noir, would save the day. Nobody could ever defeat the two super heroes. I learnt everything I could about her, mostly finding stuff on the Ladyblog, even if I didn't like Alya, I couldn't help but appreciate her creating the blog in the first place.

Everything was on my way, but Adrien. After awhile I noticed his attention was aiming towards Marinette. That was not a good thing, because the raven haired girl had a huge crush on him too. Just the thought of it made me shiver with anger and disappointment.

I tried, I really did, but I couldn't seem to break them apart, their hips were glued together and I couldn't do a thing, but watch.

So I watched, I watched as my childhood friend left me for his other friends, friends he his closer to. I watched as the two love birds realized their feelings for one another. I watched as they arrive at school with hands laced together. I watched as they flirted, and made dreamy faces toward one another.

He was gone, no longer in my grasp. It took awhile, but soon enough, I didn't care. I actually started to enjoy watching them. The two most favored people in the class, dating. But that didn't stop my discomfort and sadness.

Looking at them, I wonder if I could have the same. That maybe one day someone will look at me with the same love struck eyes. Someone who cares and listens to me when I talk, even if it's about shoes.

Now it's the last year of high school, and I'm trying to reform into the person I once was. I stopped bullying people, but I found that I was so used to it, that I wouldn't realize I just said something mean.

I told everyone in my class to tell me if I said or done something hurtful. Which they did, a lot. My classmates are starting to forgive my mistakes and regrets, though some are still wearily. I don't blame them though, I was truly awful.

I even gave them permission to say something mean back, but they didn't, no, they refused. They told me that even if I had hurt them deeply, that didn't give them an excuse to do the same.

Things are finally looking up, my relationship with Adrien has gotten stronger, the same with Marinette. I started getting closer to the others, and another thing I am proud of, is I stopped bribing Sabrina, and I started a real friendship with her. A friendship that no one could break.

Though I am not fully back to my five year old self, I don't want to be. I have changed into someone even better. I still make my mistakes, calling Alya's hair a rats nest, but I soon apologized once I realized what I said. That seemed to be happening a lot, but I can't change that quick, and I'm fine with that, really.

Maybe by the time the years ends, I will have someone look at me the same Adrien does with Marinette. Someone will love me, even if I have to wait for ten years for it to happen, it will all be worth it, I just know it.

For the time being, I'll just have to wait for him to arrive. Who ever that is.

*************************************

I finish off my long note with a signature of my name, before closing the shimmery, pink notebook. I lean back in my seat in the empty classroom, staring at the creaking, white ceiling.

Ring.

The bell sounded, and I sit myself back up, taking out my geography homework from my backpack, onto my desk.

Students are already filling into the classroom in heaps, chatting away. I smiled at Sabrina who sat herself next to me. By the time the second bell rang, the classroom was full, with only one seat missing. I look to the door way, waiting for the certain person to show up.

The door then framed a redheaded boy, who also just hit puberty a while ago, and hard. His once baby face was shaped into a sharp jaw, his flaming hair tied up in a short ponytail, though his bangs still covered his one eye. He started to dress nicer too, no more jackets underneath his long sleeves.  And hello to skinny jeans and purple tank tops.

Not to mention he was less shy than before, and out of everyone, besides Adrien and Sabrina, she talked to him the most. And he seemed to enjoy my company, which makes me super happy.

He seemed out of breath as his hand leaned against the doorway, the other held a sketchbook and a pencil, probably ran to get in on time.

He began walking to the ally in the middle, between the desks. He looked over my way, catching his teal eyes in my blue, and slyly grinned. My eyes widened as I realized I was staring at him this whole time, my face burned in embarrassment. The redhead then smiled genuinely, with a slight chuckle. That small gesture made me smile back. watching his retreating back, as he made his way toward his seat.

I turn back, before he saw me staring at him even more. Then I opened my note book, and flipped to unwritten page, then wrote two simple words.

It's Nathanaël.