I first started noticing I had anxiety when I was about 7, I would get nervous and have stomach problems. I went to a councilor for the first time at about age 9. I would accept the advice and never use it. I would be an angel in public but at home I would act like a devil and throw screaming fits, kicking and hitting like a toddler at age 9. This continued until I had just turned 12, about a half a year ago, when they started a new med. This new med didn't help a lot, but a little. Middle school started and I was so proud to be walking in a new part of the school. But as most of you know, middle school is a time that bullies can become a problem and lots of people become depressed (I'm not saying all of them do).

I started to notice that since my meds made me want to eat a lot I gained 20 pounds, and was really self conscious. For example, I always wanted to wear a bikini because I was skinny and wanted everyone to like me. So when my mom got me a swimsuit that covered a little more than a bikini I was so happy, except for the fact that when I put it on my stomach puffed out. Thats when I went back to wearing one pieces.

The medicine was stopped, because of the weight that I gained and it not helping my behavior.

My anxiety acted up a lot before events, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere.

When my ex-best friend Avery joined cross country she bothered me about it and I didn't want to join. About halfway into the season I joined, and wasn't the best. I got a 3 minute personal record on my last meet, which made me feel pretty good.

In October my mom mentioned that I looked lighter, so I checked my weight and I was normal again, which made my self-consciousness go away.

In the next chapter I'll talk about Nathan and the impact he had on my mental health.

If you guys have any questions comment and I'll answer!!