Sunday, August 31

If I was allowed too I would just sleep all day, but I'm not. It's currently 11:36 and I just woke up. I like to sleep late, it's not like I have anything to do anyways.

I get out of my bed that is almost too comfortable to get out of. I don't want to take a shower but I also don't want to stink all day. What am I even gonna do today? Hmm, absolutely nothing sounds pretty great.

Do you ever wake up and just feel mad? I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I'm just mad. If someone talks to me I might just punch them in the nose. That's what I should do...not punch someone in the nose but go to the gym and punch the punching bag in its nose. That's actually sounds like a good plan.

I go grab a baggy t-shirt and some leggings and head to the shower. I wish I was like other girls and could wear sports bras to gyms but I'm not like other girls.

I take a quick hot, steamy shower. I get my clothes on a make my way to the kitchen. Did I even eat last night? I don't think I did, oh well.

"Morning. You look awful." Carter says and smiles at me.

He may think it's a joke and it 100% is but my mind can't take jokes like that. My mind takes those jokes and puts it into my imperfection files. Thanks carter, you're a great brother.

I just glare at him and get myself a glass of water. I gulp down the water and put the dirty dish into the sink.

"Woah. Someone's pissy." Carter says.

"Carter if you don't shut up now I will go tell your little girl thing who you slept with last night." I tell carter.

"Sorry. Geez." He mutters and continues eating his cereal.

I walk out of the kitchen and go get my phone and my AirPods to head to the gym.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Carter asks when I enter the kitchen once again.

"Not hungry." I simply say.

I run out of the door before he can lecture me about how I need to eat. I put my AirPods into my ears and start running. I run like it will take ways all my problems but it won't. Nothing will.

I get my phone and turn on my music. I then slip my AirPod case and my phone into my leggings pocket.

The song 'lost in the moment' by NF plays through my small earbuds. It's like the universe just wants me to cry my eyes out.

"This may be the last sunset I'll see
So I'll take it in, I'll take it in
This may be the last air that I'll breathe
I'll breathe it in, I'll breathe it in.

I heard that pictures don't change
Just the people inside of 'em do
Whoever told you that life would be easy
I promise that person was lyin' to you
You got a problem with followin' through
That's why I got a problem with followin' you
You keep lookin' at me like this problem is new
But we've been here before, what you tryin' to do?
Don't talk to me like I don't know what you feeling
'Cause I was there with you back in the beginning
Quit looking away when I talk, let me finish
I'm tryna be honest, you're tryna forget me, ugh
What's wrong with you, hey?
I know that you got a lot on your plate
You keep telling me I should go out of your way
but I can't see how you gonna lie to my face
Don't tell me your fine cause I know you're not"

I rap and sing along with the song. I can rap pretty well I guess.

A few songs later I arrive at the Gateys Gym. It's one of the only gyms that are close to my house. It was only about a 15 minute walk.

There are cars parked in rows in front of the gym. Great, everyone decided to come to the gym today. So much for not being crowded.

I pause my music and walk into the gym cautiously and see people running on treadmills, bench pressing and what not.

The part of the gym I usually go to is at the back of the gym, most people don't go there. Most people stay in the open, I'm not sure why though. The back part of the gym has punching bags, a couple of bench presses and a barbell.

I head to the back of the gym where the punching bag is located. It's off to the side so people won't actually be able to see me.

I see someone at the back on the bench press. Man he's got some serious muscles. His veins are popping out of his arms and beads of sweat running in all directions. He has a bunch of tattoos running up his arms and..his neck? Is that Hayden? Oh geez, please don't be Hayden.

The man gets up from the press and of course it just had to be Hayden. What the crap, we need more gyms. The bench press was facing towards me so when he sat up he was facing me.

Maybe he didn't see me? Okay, I'm gonna try to walk past him and maybe he won't see-

"Hey maddison." Hayden says as I was attempting to not be seen while walking past him.

Of course he would talk to me. Of course? He doesn't even like you. Shut up!

"Hey" I say and give him a smile.

I probably look like a creep because I tried not to overdo the smile but I definitely overdid the smile. Ugh, you're so stupid sometimes!

I honestly figured he wouldn't talk to me. From what I heard about Hayden, he is a rude person with a very, very short temper. It's not very hard to make him mad it seems like.

"What are you doing here?" He asks.

"What? Do I not seem like the gym type?" I jokingly say.

"No. I- uh" He stutters.

"It's a joke" I says and give him a reassuring smile.

"Oh."

"I'll see you around." I say and walk off to the punching bag.

I go off to the side where the keep the lockers. I always keep a locker stocked with boxing tape.

I look up from wrapping my my hands and I see Hayden now working on a barbell and he is directly across from the punching bag and facing me. Great.

I finish wrapping my hands and walk up to the punching bag. I can see Hayden from here, I hope he doesn't watch me.

I get into my stance and start throwing punches.

One, for all of the guys I've supposedly slept with.

Two, for all the times I've been left alone.

Three, for all the unspoken words.

Four, for all the fat on my body.

Five, for emily.

I picture Emily's face on the punching bag.

This is for spreading all of those rumors. Punch.

This is for making everyone turn on me. Punch

This is for all the times I've should've told you off. Punch.

This is for-

"Are you okay?" Hayden voice startles me and breaks me out of my trance.

I'm happy to say that I'm not crying because usually I would be. I'm just so fed up I can't cry anymore.

"Uh..yeah." I say.

"You can throw a hell of a punch. Where'd you learn?"

He acts like he's never seen me punch before, he saw me beat the guy at the party up, not that I did too good of a job.

"I kind of taught myself. Every time someone would piss me off, instead of beating their face in-like I want too- I come here." I admit

"Oh. I just usually take the easy route and beat their face in." He says and smiles.

"Yeah I've seen." I say and smile back.

"You should use those skills on all the shit faces at school." He says

I know I should but then everyone would absolutely hate me and shun me.

"Yeah"

"When you throw your punch though, you want to do your hand like this." He says and demonstrates by punching the bag.

"Like this?" I say and repeat his actions.

"Yeah, exactly like that." He says and smiles at me.

He's a lot nicer than I imagined him to be.

"Let's see you strut your stuff."

He looks at me and laughs. He gets into stance and starts punching the bag. The punches makes the bag jump back from him. Every time he punches a thumping noise comes from the bag from the impact of his fists. I bet if that was a person it would be begging for mercy.

"How's that?" He says when he gets done.

He's breathing more heavy that before and beads of sweat fall down his forehead into his eyebrows. Man, he's really good looking. He asked you a question maddie, get with it!

"It was okay I guess." I tease.

"You think you can do better than that?"

"I know I can" I say playing along.

"Sure, sure."

"So what are you doing here? I haven't seen you here before." He states.

"Well I came here to blow off steam. And that's because this isn't my usual gym." I say.

I used to go to a different gym when I lived in the country, but now this gym is closer.

"Ahh okay."

"Why are you here." I ask him.

"I come here everyday. Gotta keep this nice bod up." He says and gestures to his abs which are covered by tattoos.

"Mm you better start working harder." I say and try not to laugh.

I'm not sure why I'm sitting here joking around with him but it's happening.

"You can't possibly deny that I have a nice body." He says and laughs.

He has a really nice laugh. It sounds so good on him.

"Oh but I can..and I will."

Hayden phone rings from his gym shorts that hang lowly on his hips, exposing his v line.

"I gotta go. See you around." He says and waves.

He looked kind of annoyed. I wonder what happened?

I finish my workouts and go grab a cold water from the vending machine. I'm panting from all of these workouts, but I need to do them.

I exit the gym and let the cool breeze hit my face, blowing my hair around, trying to take it with it.

The breeze cools me down a bit as a walk to my house.

I arrive at my house and go up to my room to see my best friend asleep on my bed. Doesn't she have her own bed to sleep on?

"Renee?" I say loudly to try to wake her up.

Renee shoots up from the bed with a concerned and confused look on her face which makes me laugh.

"Oh..hey" She says before she yawns.

"What are you doing here?"

"What? I can't visit my best friend?"

"Not when said best friend isn't even here." I say.

"Well you're here now and I have news!! Remember the ice cream shop guy? Well I'm going on a date with him and you're coming along but you'll need to find a date."

A laugh lightly. Me? Dating? Absolutely not.

"How do you expect me to do that?" I ask.

"Well Oliver..." She trails off.

"No."

"Oh come on! Live a little." She says.

"No Renee." I answer, changing my tone to let her know that I am serious.

"Yes maddison." She mocks. "If you don't ask him, I will. You know for a fact I will."

Renee won't even hesitate to do just that. Should I ask him? I'd really rather not. But if I don't, she will. It might be easier that way though.. no maddison!! Just put your big girl pants on and do it.

"Fine. Sometimes I wanna smother you in your sleep."

"I wouldn't expect anything less. Let's call him!! Put him on speakerphone." She squeals while jumping around on my bed.

I grab my phone and look through my contact list. I'm already regretting this. What if he says no? But even worse, what if he says yes?

I click on his name, then on the blue call button. It rings a couple times.

"Hey mads!" He's always so cheery.

"Uhm..Hey" I say.

I wish I could back out now but Renee will jump off the bed and come do it herself.

"You good?" He asks.

"Yeah. Do you want to..uhm.. maybe go to dinner tonight? Renee has a date and she doesn't want to go on it alone and I don't want to be a third wheel because who wants to be-." He cuts off my rambling.

"Yes maddison, I will be your date." He says and chuckles.

"What time should I pick you up?"

My heart is nearly beating out of my chest. My whole body throbs with it. I look over at Renee and she mouths 5.

"Around 5 will be fine." I say.

"Okay see you then." He says in his smooth accent then hangs up then phone.

"I cannot believe I just did that." I mumble while I sit at the foot of the bed.

"I know!! Your like a bad bitch now!" She says.

If only she knew how much anxiety is running through my veins right now.

"Yeah yeah." I reply sarcastically.

"Well it's only 2 now. What shall we do?" Renee asks me.

"Riverdale." We say in unison.

Me and Renee get comfortable on my soft bed to start our movie marathon. My tv is on the wall in front of my bed.
———
"It's 4:30!!" Renee screams in my ear.

I jump up and rub my eyes. Apparently I feel asleep.

"4:30??" I say confused. Then it hits me. "4:30!! ITS 4:30 RENEE COME ON! GET UP LAZY!" I start screaming frantically.

I'm not gonna even have time to get ready!! I'm gonna look like a hobo on my...date? It's not like I don't look like a hobo any other time..but I gotta kind of sort of try....I guess.

"CALM DOWN MADDISON! Calm the fuck down before I un-invite you." Renee says.

I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.

"I gotta get ready. So do you! Go home."

"Well aren't you sweet." Renee says referring to my request for her to go home.

She laughs and exits my rooms. A couple of seconds later I hear the front door close.

What the hell am I supposed to wear? I've never even been on a 'date' before. Ugh. This is exhausting!

I walk over to my closet and look through it. Is jeans even allowed on a date? No way in hell I would wear a dress anyway. Except the other day, that doesn't count.
——-
I hear a knock at my door and my heart starts pounding even more. If he doesn't hear it I would be surprised.

I picked out a pair of blue jeans with my converse and yellow, fringed, cropped sweater. I just let my hair down, it wouldn't have cooperated anyways. I hope I look decent, at least.

I open my door and Oliver is standing at the other side. He's wearing black jeans and a navy blue button up shirt. He had Nike's on his feet. He looks really good.

"You look beautiful." He says and smiles at me.

I feel a blush creep on my face which makes his smile widen. I walk through the door to meet up with him. I then close the door behind me and lock it since no one is home. I texted my mom earlier, telling her my whereabouts.

"So where are we going?" Oliver asks me.

"I actually don't know." I answer him. "We can go ask Renee. Her house is right there." I say and point to her house.

"Okay." He says and follows me across my yard, into hers.

I knock on her door a couple of times. She answers the door glaring at me.

"I swear to god I will kill you." She says through her gritted teeth.

I smile at her. "Hey bestie. What's the name of the place we're going?" I ask her.

She tells us the name of the restaurants and closes the door in our face, literally.

"Well she seems like a happy and giddy person." Oliver says as we walk to his real and rusty white c10 Chevy. I'm no dummy when it comes to cars and trucks.

"You betcha." I say and laugh lightly.

I put the name of the restaurants into my iPhones map app. Oliver walks over to the passenger side with me and opens the door for me.

I get into the truck and expect it to smell old and musty but instead it smells like him. It's almost like a subtle woodsy smell. Like pine but a lot better and more masculine. Oliver gets into the truck a couple of seconds later.

"Nice classic you got here." I say to him.

His truck is noticeably clean. The floor isn't littered with trash. The only evidence of someone being in here is the water bottle in the cup holder.

"Sure is. You know cars?" He asks.

"Yep. C10 Chevrolet. I'd say..'89." I say after examining the truck.

"Right on the dot. You keep surprising me, Jones." He says and smiles.

He turns the key and the tuck comes to life, roaring and rumbling under me. I still have knots in my stomach. I know I shouldn't because this is no big deal but my stomach says other wise.

Oh gosh I hope I don't fart. That would be so embarrassing. If I fart I'm blaming it on him, he's the one that made my stomach like this in the first place.

"Turn left in a half of a mile." The robotic lady says through my phone speaker.

Her voice annoys me so much. No, it irritates me. It makes me want to take this phone apart and rip her fake robot ass right out of it.

Is this even a good idea? I shouldn't go on dates. I don't even want to date to be honest. It comes with so much commitment and heartbreak; I just don't think I would be able to handle it.

This date thing probably means nothing to him anyways. I sure hope it doesn't.

"You have arrived at your destination." The robot lady says breaking the silence that once filled the cab.

Oliver hasn't talked this whole ride. He's probably strongly regretting coming here with me; I would be too.

When he parks the truck I go to open my door. The door creaks when I open it and Oliver looks over at me.

"I was gonna do that for you." He says.

"My bad. Do you want me to close it so you can open it?" I tease and smile at him.

"You already ruined it now." He says and chuckles.

I open the door the rest of the way and step out into the humid air.

"So should we wait on them or..?" He says drawing the sentence out.

"I'm not sure. I would've asked but you see how that went."

"Yeah." He says.

"I guess we can go ahead and go in. She should've told us if she wanted us to wait." I say and start walking towards the door.

Oliver walks in front of me and opens the door for me. I mutter and thank you and smile at him. We get a booth near the back of the restaurant so Renee and her date could sit with us.

I slide into the booth first, then Oliver slides into it. The waiter comes over to us and asks us what drinks we wanted. I ordered a water and Oliver ordered a sweet tea.

"Sooo.." Oliver says while rubbing his hands down his jeans.

Is he..nervous? No way. I examine the way he takes his hands off of his pants and bring them up to the table, sitting them there. He plays with his thumbs for a little bit.

"Mads?" He asks.

I forgot he had even said anything.

"Oh..um..sorry." I stumble for words and look away from his hands.

"You apologize too much." I say.

"You think that. I think I should apologize more." I say.

"Why's that?" He asks, intrigued.

I need to apologize for my existence, is what I want to say.

"Well, sometimes I forget to apologize when I do something wrong." I give him a lame excuse.

"Oh" He says.

I know he probably isn't falling for my lame excuses that I keep giving him. He's too nice to call me out on them though.

Renee and the coffee shop guy come sit at our table. I give her a smile saying "thank god. This silence is killing me."

"Sorry were late." Renee excuses them, giving us an apologetic smile.

This doesn't even seem realistic. Why in the world am I on a date with Oliver Hansen right now? This can't be real! Maybe I'm dreaming?

"Jason, this is maddie" she points to me "and her date Oliver." She says and she points to him.

"Guys this is Jason."

Jason looks like a shy guy; not one to go on dates with random girls. I am in no place to judge though, I barley know Oliver, yet here I am.

"Hey" I say to him and give him a smile.

He smiles back at me but doesn't say anything. Well alright then. How do you have a double dinner date talk? What am I supposed to talk about?

The waiter comes over and gets their drink orders and brings ours.

"Hey mads, I need to talk to you after dinner." She says in a flat tone.

"Okay." I tell her.

I wonder what it's about? Have I messed up? Does she not want to be friends with me anymore?

"So maddison, what do you want to do after high school." Oliver asks me.

"Well, you'd think I would have more of it planned out since this is our senior year but I'm still not even sure if I wanna go to college yet. I want to go and have an English major but I'm not too sure yet. What about you?" I ask.

"I want to go to mechanic school. Preferably a diesel mechanic, then maybe open up my own shop." He explains to me.

"Oh, that would be awesome." I say and smile at him.

I open up my menu to see what they serve.

"What about you Renee?" Jason asks her.

I wasn't sure if he was going to speak at all.

"Well I have my life planned out a little more than maddison." She says and smirks at me. "I want to go be a pediatrician." She says with confidence.

"That's awesome." He says.

I look through the two paged menu and nothing really stands out to me. I see chicken Alfredo on the menu but that would be too messy. Should I order a salad so they think I actually eat healthy? I don't even like salads. Am I even hungry? I sure don't feel like it, but I can't tell them that I'm not hungry.

I end up picking out a burger with fries on the side. This restaurant didn't have much to choose from.

We don't make much talk during the date. It's really awkward actually but I just go with it.

We finish off our dinner and say our goodbyes.

Oliver walks me back to his truck and opens the door for me once again.

We don't talk much the car ride home. I don't mind it though.

This was my real first date and I actually had fun, even though we didn't talk much. I hate to admit it but I really like Oliver. I'm afraid I'm falling and falling fast. I just hope he will catch me on the way down.
———
word count: 4073
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revised and edited: 9-18-24