Thursday, September 4th

I wake up with Oliver's words still bouncing from one side of my head to another. One side tells me I should believe him and just live my life. The other side tells me there no way he likes someone like me.

There's just no way! Oliver Hansen; handsome British man, cannot like me;boring ugly girl.

This is so stressful. He should've just killed me! That would've been much better than sitting here and overthinking everything. I wouldn't even be thinking right now if I was dead!

After he told me he liked me last night I just sat there, acting like I didn't hear him. I totally freaked out. I didn't know what to do or say. He asked if I hear him and I said yeah. Shortly after he left because I wasn't saying much at all. How could I? How could he like me?

Do I like him back? I mean I like him he's a really cool guy but is he good for me? Would he treat me right?

I gotta get ready for school before I sit here for another 30 minutes just thinking. I hate having an overreactive mind; it consumes your whole life.

I hope school can just go smoothly. I doubt that will actually happen though. School never goes smoothly, either a teacher gives too much work or someone decides they want to mess with me because they're bored. I can still hope though.

I slowly go through my morning routine; getting dressed, showering and eating.

I want to take as long as possible so maybe my morning will last a little longer. I know that's not how things work but I sure wish it was. This is one of those moments where I wish time would just stop and I was the only one moving. You know how flash is so fast people just stop moving and he's just there messing around? I wish I could do that.

I know I'm gonna have to see Oliver today and I really don't want too. I'm not sure how I feel about all of this yet. Oh god! I have to tell Renee also. This is so stressful!

Do I like him? I mean he's good looking, yeah but do I really like him? This is so hard!!

Okay maddison just think! Do you like Oliver or do you not? He's gonna want to know.

Okay pros of Oliver Hansen:
-he's very good looking
-his accent makes me want to jump his bones
-he's nice to me

Cons of Oliver Hansen:
-I cant think clearly around him
-he gets me in trouble in class
-he's so hot that I blush when he talks to me

I think I like Oliver....

I like Oliver Hansen.

I wish he would've killed me.

Do I actually have to tell him though? That's so embarrassing.

I gotta go to school before I'm late.

I grab my phone, my keys and head downstairs. Carter is walking around the house shirtless. He should be ready by now what is wrong with him?

"Carter school starts in like 30 minutes. Why aren't you dressed?" I ask him.

"Not going." He simply replies.

He looks sad... or mad I can't tell.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"Nothing."

"Carter what's wrong?" I say sternly.

"I said nothing. Drop it." His tone changes from soft to 'get the fuck away from me.'

I decide not to turn this into a fighting match so I leave. Me and Carter have been in literal fist fights before. We're both have short tempers and are very competitive; it doesn't mix well at all.

I really dread going to school. Maybe I should stay home with Carter. Yeah and get cussed at the whole time. Off to school we go! Wooho!

When I arrive at school I see Renee and Griffin standing in front of the school. Renee is yelling and looks super mad. Griffin just looks sad.

I hop out of my car and approach them. From here I can hear Renee scream "then stay the fuck away from me Griff!"

Oh no.

Renee looks at me. Her face is red and tears are brimming her eyes. The only time Renee cries is when she gets super mad; times like this.

"Just go Griffin." She says turning away from him and walking to me.

I don't ask her what's wrong. I just give her a tight hug.

"My house after school?" I ask

She just shakes her head yes and wipes her eyes.

We walk to first period in silence. This is gonna be a long day.
———
"Pst. Hey maddison" Oliver whispers.

"What?" I whisper back.

"What are we supposed to be doing?"

I honestly don't even know. I wasn't listening to the lecture either.

"I don't know. I wasn't listening." I say and lightly laugh.

"Well we're in trouble. Hang on." He says and turns to his other side.

He whispers to the guy on the other side of him.

"He doesn't know either." He says as he turns back around.

"Well what are we supposed to do the-." I get cut off by our teacher.

"Is there a problem?" She says getting the whole classes attention.

Does this teacher ever shut up?

"Yes. None of us have no idea what to do." Oliver says without even stalling.

"Well weren't you listening?"

"Obviously not. Your lecture was incredibly boring." He says and the class starts to laugh.

I let out a little laugh myself. Oliver turns and looks and me, smirking.

"Who else doesn't know what to do?" The whole class raises their hands.

We must be really bad at listening.

"Well I guess that's just an F for everyone today." She says and starts messing with papers on her desk.

I guess one F won't break me. Other people around me groan out in disagreement. They probably have awful grades, this might break them.

"She sounds like a robot talking. How is anyone supposed to listen?" Oliver asks me.

"Her voice literally puts me to sleep. She's kind of an awful teacher."

I'm not lying. Plus she's a bitch, every second that we're in here.

"Agreed." He says smiling.

Everyone in the class turns to their neighbors and starts talking.

"What are you doing after school today?" Oliver asks me.

"Oh well I'm hanging out with Ray." I say

"Oh cool, can I join?" He asks

"Uhm no. I'm sorry. She just really needs me tonight."

"Oh." I see his face drop. "That's okay" he cheers back up.

"Maybe we can hang out some other time. I like hanging out with you, I always have so much fun."

"Yeah me too" I cut him a smile.

Mrs. Green does her job she's just not a very good teacher. She never explains anything, she just throws papers on our table and expects us to know exactly what to do.

The bell rings and everyone piles out of the classroom in a hurry to lunch.

Oliver catches up to me and puts his arm around my shoulder.

What is he doing?

The lunch room is already full the time me and Oliver make it there. Some days we walk to lunch together and other days he walks with his buddies.

I'm still not sure what I think about last night. Does he like me or does he not? Why we he say he likes me if he didn't? He wouldn't, my mind is just messing everything up.

Oliver likes me and I like Oliver. What happens now? Relationships just aren't for me but I'm sure I would change my mind if I got asked out. Relationships just sound scary, the commitment, the cheating, the lying; it just sounds awful.

Everything surrounding the word 'love' scares the absolute heck out of me. Marriage, kids, relationships.

Renee sees Oliver with his hand around me and raises her eyebrow. I give her the silent 'we'll talk about it later.'

We get my lunch and sit down at our table, Oliver  unlatches from me and sits down next to me. He leans in close to me.

"I'm sorry if I scared you with what I said last night." He says where no one can hear.

"No it's fine. I just don't get told that much. I wasn't sure how to react." I whisper back.

"Well you should. You're beautiful." He says.

I give him a smile in return. I feel the blush creeping up my neck and the butterflies appearing in my stomach.

I realize that Renee isn't sitting beside me. She was just here a minute ago? I mutter 'I'll be back' and walk out of the cafeteria.

I grab my phone out of my back pocket then call Renee.

The phone rings a couple of times but I don't get an answer.

The doors to the cafeteria open and Oliver steps out.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah. I just can't find Renee." I tell him.

"I can help you look."

"Okay, well I'm gonna go check the bathroom real quick."

I start walking towards the bathroom with Oliver trailing behind me.

I push open the bathroom door and then I call out her name. I still get no answer. I open all the bathroom stalls but no one is here.

"She's not in there." I say while coming out of the bathroom.

"Maybe she went home?" Oliver suggests.

"Maybe. She would've answered the phone though. Let's check outside."

Oliver nods his head and we walk outside into the commons area. It's a place where people can hang out and eat at lunch time. We look around and we still can't find Renee.

I call her again and still get no answer. Maybe I should call her mom? She's a stay at home mom so she could tell me if she's home.

"Hello?" Renee's mom answers.

"Hey. Is Renee home? She's not at school."

"No. She's not here. Where could she be? Oh lord." Her mom starts freaking out.

"I'm not sure. Do you want us to look for her?"

"No sweetheart. You stay at school; I'll look for her and keep you updated." She says and hangs up the phone.

"Renee's mom is gonna go look for her." I tell Oliver.

"Okay. Well let's go back to lunch then." Oliver says, putting his hand on my lower back to lead me to the cafeteria.

I hope she's okay. Renee's not the one to run off and not tell me or at least her mom where she's going.

"What did you do to her?" I ask stopping in front of Griffin.

"What do you mean? Nothing."

"You're lying. You did something to her this morning. Tell me what the fuck you did cause now I can't even find her." I raise my voice at him.

I'm not the one to go around yelling at people but this is my best friend we're talking about. From seeing her cry earlier, it must've been bad."

"I didn't do anything!" He yells back.

"Yes you did! You piece of-." Oliver steps in front of me before I can finish my sentence.

"Hey. It's okay" He says putting his hands on both of my shoulders.

I am so close to crying because of how livid I am. I just want to bash Griffins head into a wall and leave him to bleed out.

What the hell did he do to Renee that was so bad she left school?

"I got to go find Renee." I say walking away.

"I'll come with." He says jogging to catch up with me.

Renee's POV

I can't believe he did this to me.

He was sad and I wanted to comfort him. He ruined everything; I was going steady with Jason and was so happy. I hate him so much.

I watch the ducks swim across the pond with their babies trailing behind them. I never understood what scared Maddison so much about relationships and even kids but I think I'm starting to understand.

When I was a little girl I wanted nothing more to have a kid of my own. I still do but I can't seem to get a guy that I can have a steady enough relationship with.

I really liked Jason, I can't believe that Griffin messed it all up for us.

I'm sure maddie will be here any minute. I don't mind being alone but Maddison makes everything better. She always know exactly what to say and exactly what to do.

When me and Maddison was about 8 or 9 we would always come down here to this pond to feed the ducks and sometimes we would wade in the pond. We could never go swimming thought because it was too deep for our little bodies.

Maddison used to live by this pond so when I was over at her house we could just walk here. We would do everything together as kids. When maddison turned 13 her dad gave her a four wheeler and we would always be riding it. You wouldn't catch us walking anywhere.

Maddison has been through so much in her life, it's so amazing that she's as strong as she is. She may not seem strong but she is nothing less.

People take advantage of Maddie but one day she will break and come back for the ones that hurt her so bad. She can definitely put up a fight, I know from first hand experience. Me and maddison have never been in any real fights but we wrestle and mess around a lot. We are actually pretty civil people, we've never even been in a vocal fight.

I hear tires hit the gravel driveway that leads to this pond. I don't turn around because it's probably maddison anyways.

A car door shuts and someone starts walking towards me. They then sit down on the ground beside me; it was maddie like I had assumed.

"I've always liked this place." I say to Maddison.

"'Me too."

"It's so peaceful. Just sitting here watching the ducks play in the water."

"It is." She replies.

I look over to maddison and sigh.

"Everything's screwed up maddie." I tell her.

Her face scrunches up in confusion.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks cautiously.

I just shake my head yes and begin the long story.

-Flashback to yesterday-

I just got off of the phone with Griffin. He sounded very sad and asked if he could come over cause he needed someone to talk to, so I said yes. I'm not sure how good I am at advice but he's my friend and I don't want him to be upset.

I hear a knock and the door and assume it's Griffin. I hurry down to the living room so my mom doesn't answer the door, not that I don't want her to know, because she'll keep him in conversation for 30 minutes.

I open the door to a distressed looking Griffin. I've never seen him like this before.

"Come in." I say and move off to the side.

"Let's go to my room." I say because he wants to have a serious conversation and we can't have that in the living room.

I sit on one side of the edge of my bed and he sits on the other side, keeping distance.

"What's up?" I say.

"I've been having family issues." He admits.

"Go on" I say then realize how rude that sounded. "I mean, tell me if you want too."

I need to invest in a filter for my mouth.

"My dad hit me last night." He says and looks down to his lap.

"Oh wow." I'm shocked. "I'm so sorry Griff." I say and move over to put a hand on his shoulder.

I'm not very good at helping people with their problems but I'm doing my best.

"I don't know what to do Ray." He says.

I see a tear roll down his cheek slowly. No, don't cry.

"I'm not good at giving advice, I'm sorry. Is he home a lot? Is there anyway to avoid him?"

"Yeah he works. He's still home a lot though. He was just drunk last night but that's no excuse to hit your son." He says while putting his head in his hands.

"No it's not. Maybe he won't do it again though." I say racking my brain to find something to tell him.

"Maybe." He says looking up at me.

He moves closer to me but I just figure it's so I can comfort him better cause I'm not doing the best job.

"I'm sorry I'm not very good at this." I say looking him in the eyes.

He just smiles at me. He suddenly takes my face into both of his hands and crashes his lips onto mine.

I am so stunned I didn't even do anything at first. I push at his chest but he has such a good grip on my face that I can't even move.

I hear my door open and Griffin finally lets me go. I look to see who had opened my door.

Jason.

Fuck fuck fuck!

You've got to be kidding me.

Jason had flowers in his hand that are now on the floor with the pedals scattered around it. His face is enough to kill me.

God, it probably looked like I was kissing him back! No, no! I was trying to push him, oh god.

"Jay!" I say jumping up like I've been caught doing something I wasn't supposed to do.

Jason backs away and runs out of my room.

I look over at Griffin.

"Fuck you!" I say and push him off of my bed. He hits the floor with a thump.

I run down my stairs yelling for Jason.

"Jay! Let me explain!" I yell before he reaches the front door.

Why would Griffin kiss me all of the sudden?

"It's pretty fucking clear Renee. Leave me alone." He says and slams the front door behind him.

"No please!" I beg.

I start crying like I've never cried before. Heck I don't even cry! But here I am standing in the middle of my living room crying.

Griffin walks down the stairs and comes to my side.

"You knew he was coming, didn't you?" I scream in his face and push at his chest causing him to stumble back.

He just looks at me, not even saying a word to deny anything. That sick fuck. He lied about everything too I bet.

"Get the fuck out! Now!" I yell at him.

Griffin leaves the house without another word, not even an apology.

My mom runs out of her room and takes me into her arms, comforting me like she always does.

-end of flashback-

"Oh my gods." Maddison says. "I'm so sorry Rayray." She says and hugs me with her fragile arms.

"He won't even talk to me." I say referring to Jason.

He won't answer my calls or texts. I expected this but he doesn't even know what happened. It probably looked bad but it wasn't. Griffin kissed me and I tried to push away; that's all that happened. He doesn't know that though, I guess I would've been pretty heartbroken too even though we haven't been dating long.

I can't believe Griffin did that. He even knew that Jason was coming over. He just wanted to make Jason jealous. I cannot believe him; I hate him.

"Do you want to go back to my house?" She asks me.

I shake my head and we head back to her Jeep.

I notice that Oliver sitting in the front seat and I give her a confused look.

"He wanted to help look for you." She tells me.
———
Maddison's POV

Me and Renee have been moping around my house all day long. We didn't go back to school because neither of us wanted too. We went back just to drop Oliver off then came back here.

I want to tell Renee what's going on between me and Oliver to get her advice but I don't want to be that selfish. It just feels like the wrong time.

We've been eating all day and watching random movies.

"Do you want to spend the night here?" I ask taking the pizza out of the oven.

"Yes." She replies.

Carter walks into the kitchen in the same attire he was in this morning; shirtless with sweats.

"Hey."

He just nods his head but doesn't say anything to me.

What is up with everyone today?

"I made some pizza if you want some." I tell my older brother.

"No thanks." He takes something out of the pantry and walks back to his room.

I take two plates and put two pieces of pizza on them each, one for me and one for Renee.

"Here."

"Thank you." She says and starts nibbling at the pizza.

"What was wrong with him." She asks me.

"No idea. He's been like that since this morning."

"Weird."

I finish off my two pieces and decide that I'm full. I take our plates to the kitchen and rinse them off.

"I'm tired. You ready for bed?" I ask Renee.

"Yeah sure."

Me and Renee pile into my queen sized bed.

I cuddle with her.

"It's gonna be okay Renee. He'll eventually give you the chance to talk to him." I say

"I sure hope he does." Renee says.

"Goodnight Renee."

"Night mads."

I feel so bad for her. She had everything going right for her and one guy came along and fucked everything up.

It's hard for Renee to love someone.

It took her forever just to trust me. I can imagine how hard it was for her to trust Jason and Griffin.

Griffin is an asshole for what he did. I'm definitely gonna have a talk with him.

Maybe punch the ever-loving hell out of him.

No I can't do that, I'm supposed to control my anger.

On a second note I don't think it'll be that bad. Plus I'll get rid of some of my anger. Win win. I don't think Renee would mind me punching him. She would probably encourage it actually.

That's a tomorrow problem though. Right now I just need some sleep.
——

Is my book cliche so far? the truth please! if it is I promise the rest will be better, I have so many great ideas for this book!!
tell me your HONEST opinion about this book so far☞︎
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word count:3776
Revised and edited: 9-18-24