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Jassi was shocked. He came out of the washroom and came to bed and sat on it. He was looking at Rahul with worried face. He caressed his hair

Jassi (in mind): Aisa kaisa dard hai Rah ki tum khud ko hi..

When Rahul and Harry were ready, they found Jassi lost in his thoughts. He was too engrossed that he didn't realise he has wore two different shoes.

Harry: Jassi..

No response

Rahul: Jassi...

No response

Harry went to Jassi and shook him.

Harry: Jassi...

Jassi: Haan kya hua?

Rahul: Where are you lost?

Before Jassi could say anything, Virat and Rahit barged inside the room.

RohiRat: Surprise..

Rahul (happily): Bhaiya ..

Rahul hugged him tightly.

Virat: How are you?

Before Rahul could say anything, Jassi spoke

Jassi: Nahi hai theek woh

Rohit: Matlab?

Rahul: No.. I am absolutely fine

Jassi: Vi Bhai.. Rah is not fine

Harry: Rah.. kya hua hai tumhe? Jassi generally doesn't lie.

Jassi: I never lie Harry

Harry: Haan.. to batao kya chhupaya?

Rahul: Bhaiya sach mujhe kuchh nahi hua aur na main kuchh chhupa raha hoon

Jassi (quite loudly): No.. you are lying. B-Ro.. Vi Bhai.. Rah jhooth bol raha hai. He.. he is not well

Jassi's own eyes teared up

Rahul: Jassi I am fine baba. Itne dino se ek cheenk nahi aayi mujhe

Jassi: Lekin you still harmed yourself na

Rahul was shocked hearing this

Harry, Virat and Rohit (shocked): What??

Virat: Jassi.. kya.. kya bol rahe ho tum?

Tears started falling from Jassi's eyes

Jassi: Haan Vi Bhai. Rah ne khud ko nuksan pahunchaya. Apko kya lagta hai kyu yeh hamesha full sleeves ke T-shirt pehnata hai

Virat remembered he has never seen Rahul in any short sleeve T-shirt.

Virat: Rah..

Rahul gulped down hard looking down.

Virat (sternly): Rah is it true?

Rahul flinched. His breathing instantly started becoming uneven because of the stress.

Virat (angrily): Rahul answer me.. did you lie?

Rahul: Bha.. bhaiya woh.. woh ..

Rahul was breathing visibly heavy now.

Jassi: Vi Bhai.. isne kal hi khud ko chaut pahunchayi hai. Pata nahi pehle kitni baar kiya hoga aisa. Humse kya galati ho gayi Rah?

Rahul: Nahi.. woh.. woh..

Virat: I didn't expect this from you Rah. It is so disappointing

Rahul: Bhai.. bhaiya..

Rahul sat on his knees breathing heavily keeping his hand over his chest. He was literally not able to breathe. All were shocked. Virat quickly made him have puffs but they didn't work. Rohit quickly called Anu amd they kept an oxygen mask for him to help him breath but even that was not working properly.

Jassi was hell shocked

Anu: He.. he.. he is sinking.. we.. we are loosing him..

Tears fell from her eyes.

Virat: Rah.. Rah bhaiya is here bachcha. Please calm down na. Please bachcha.

Jassi ran to Rahul

Jassi: Rah.. Rah.. I am sorry. Please.. please calm down.. please calm..

He said this much when he saw still body of Rahul. Virat and Harry were shaking Rahul but there was no response. Anu was crying hugging Rohit.

Jassi (shouted): Rahul....

Rahul and Harry woke up with jolt.

Rahul & Harry: Aaaa...

Jassi looked at them

Jassi: Why are you shouting?

Rahul: Why did you shout Jassi?

Jassi blinked at them.

Jassi: Haan?? Kya?

Harry: Why did you shout Jas? You woke up up getting scared

Jassi: Woh.. woh tum dono.. dono uth hi nahi rahe the. To.. thoda zor se bolke uthaya

Harry: Bol ke.. Jassi tumne chillaya yaar. Khair tum yeh batao tum ready nahi hue phir kyu hume utha rahe the?

Jassi: Woh Nahi kuchh nahi bas aise hi

Rahul was by now at the washroom door.

Rahul: You guys can continue for a while. Main ready ho jata hoon itni der me

Saying so he closed the door. Jassi looked at the closed door with horrified expression. Harry noticed it. But before he could say anything, Jassi ran to the washroom door and started banging it.

Jassi: Rah.. Rah open the door

Harry: Jassi what are you doing? What happened?

Jassi didn't respond to him and continued banging the door. Rahul opened the door.

Rahul: Jassi.. what happened? Nahane to de yaar

Jassi was about to bombarded him with questions but held back at the end moment. He observed Rahul while Harry and Rahul both were still in quite a shock with weird behaviour of Jassi. Harry shook Jassi.

Jassi: Haan?

Harry: Kuchh hua hai kya?

Jassi: Nahi to..

Rahul: To mujhe nahane do na

Jassi: Haan tum naha lo lekin mujhe woh shaving kit leni thi. Tum naha lo tab tak main team room me shave kar lunga. Time saving you know..

Rahul: Oh okay.

Jassi took almost everything which could use for self harm from the washroom which were only his and Harry's shaving kits only.

Jassi: Rah.. naha lo

Rahul showed a thumbs up and closed the door

Harry: Why did you bring my shaving kit? What's wrong with you Jassi?

Jassi: Shhh..

He dragged Harry to a distance from the washroom.

Harry: Jassi hua kya hai?

Jassi: Harry..

Jassi hugged him tightly as tears fell from his eyes. He sniffed a little. Harry rubbed his back and broke the hug.

Harry (softly): What happened Jassi?

Jassi told him everything he found out about Rahul. Harry was hell shocked was an understatement.

Jassi: Maine bas safety ke liye shaving kit nikal li waha se

Harry: Are you sure Jas? It's.. it's a big accusation

Jassi: It's the truth Harry and not an accusation

Harry: Rah.. Self ha*m.. I.. I can't even imagine Jas..

Jassi: I am scared Harry.. Mujhe.. mujhe uski fikr ho rahi hai

Harry: Jas.. may be it's just a misunderstanding..

Jassi: I wish yeh misunderstanding hi ho Harry. I really don't want this to come out as a truth

Harry nodded in yes rubbing a scared Jassi's shoulder

Jassi: We have to share with Vi Bhai Harry

Harry: Don't you think we should first be sure from our end? And we can't share this without any proof.

Jassi: Proof milega. Ek baar Rah agar half sleeve T-shirt pahen lega na, you can see the mark. Usko already laga hua hai arm pe

Harry: Matlab zakhm taza hai?

Jassi nodded in yes

Harry: Should we ask him to wear half sleeve T-shirt?

Jassi shook his head in no.

Jassi: We don't know the reason he is doing all this. We can't make him have stress.

Harry: Yeh bhi hai. But for now, let's go from here. Agar woh bahar aa gaya and hum yahi hue to usko shaq ho jayega

Jassi agreed and they both went from there.

⚠️Mature content

Rahul looked at himself in the mirror. There were few cuts on his body. He himself has done that. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt the urge of doing the same once again. He was lying to everyone. He didn't let anyone know about his this habit though he has controlled it a lot in recent times but nowadays he was feeling way too much guilty seeing the love everyone was showering over him.

Rahul looked here and there but he couldn't find anything which can be used to do a cut. His gaze then fell on the latest cut he has made. He touched it and winced.

Mature content ends--

Rahul: Yeh to thoda deep ho gaya maine to chhota hi kiya tha.

He then wore his half sleeve T-shirt and peeked outside of the washroom and found none so he quickly came out and applied the medicine from the medikit. He blowed few times to dry it. But he was not having much time so he quickly wore his full sleeve jacket over it and as soon as he was done, Jassi and Harry came inside the room.

The duo and Rahul smiled at each other quite formally. Jassi and Harry got ready and by that time, Rahul was done with bedding and ordering the breakfast for them. They had breakfast and again got engrossed in studies.

From that time onwards, Jassi and Harry used to make sure silently that they do not keep anything which can be used for self ha*ming purpose. They were keeping an eye on Rahul one by one. They even used to keep a check at night and were not giving him much alone time. But in all this care and concern, a sudden silence has introduced in the trio's relationship.

Rahul was the one who identified the silence which has suddenly spread inside the room and it was a disturbing one for him. He could feel that something is not right. But he was somewhere not ready to voice it out. He didn't want to loose the friends he got by asking them questions.

Harry: Are yaar kaisa subject hai yeh. English me literature jaisa chapter kon dalta hai?

Jassi: Harry.. It's Quite higher level of English so obviously they will give us some chapters of sort of literature.

Rahul was thankful for the start of this discussion.

Rahul: Kya samaj nahi aa raha Harry?

Harry: Are mujhe to yeh sab uper se hi jata. Plus we have to write sabke POVs. Are bhai jisse connect nahi karte ghanta uske POV likhe

Rahul and Jassi chuckled

Rahul: Achchha let's do it together after lunch. We will discuss and note down the points theek hai

Harry agreed happily. Rahul went to washroom and Harry and Jassi show each other a thumbs up.

Jassi: Aaj to Rah ko apne guards down karne hi honge

Harry: Yup.

They had lunch and now the trio is all set to discuss the chapter.

Rahul: Haan to Harry kiske character ko samajne me problem ho rahi hai?

Harry: Mark

Rahul: We can say that he is a person who relies more on loans.

Jassi: He has self respect but when he gets something by paying in installments, he wants to have that thing which can be anything fulfilling his desire for the lavish life style

Harry: But in all that, he forgets that he has so much debt to pay and he should have limit on taking loans

Rahul: Exactly. Easy to hai kya nahi samja tumhe isme

Harry: Are yeh to ek hi hai na. Dusara woh Ben.. Uska to kuchh samaj nahi aata. Pyaar karta hai lekin pyaar se door bhagta hai

Rahul: It's not like that Harry. Uske apne reasons hai. If we see from his POV, he loves Elina from the bottom of his heart. He wants best for her. He doesn't want her to get any problem.

Jassi: But then he should accept her love na

Rahul: He has accepted that love but just as a friend and not as a life partner even though he loves her because he knows his limits. He knows one day he is going away from her.. she wouldn't be able to handle that loss. And that's why he is trying to protect her from that pain.

Harry: By giving her this much pain now?? I mean.. how can a pain be a healing balm for another pain??

Rahul blinked at him getting caught off guard for few moments.

Jassi: He has a point Rah.

Rahul: Haan.. woh.. baat.. baat to sahi hai. (Getting lost in his thoughts) One pain cannot be a healing balm for another pain. Lekin.. lekin kabhi kabhi kuchh dard  dusare dard pe parda dal dete hai. Kabhi kabhi physical pain mental pain pe parda dal deta hai.. distract kar deta hai uss dard se.. helps you to get out of that zone of mental pain.

Jassi: Kya iss liye tum khud ko chaut pahunchate ho Rah?

Rahul looked at him with shocked expression. His eyes wide and mouth opened. He was way too much shocked as well as he started getting scared. He blinked for few times. Jassi put his hand on Rahul's shoulder to which he flinched visibly.

Harry: Rah it's us. We won't do anything to you.

Jassi: Rah..

Rahul got up from the bed to go but Harry blocked his path. Rahul gulped down.

Jassi: We are your friends Rah. And sirf hume hi pata hai aur kisi ko nahi. Talk to us Rah

Harry: You trust us na Rah. To batao na kya baat hai. Aisa bhi kya ho gaya ki tum khud ko hi..

Jassi: It hurts us Rah.. hurts us to see you struggling like this.

Rahul still didn't say anything. He just kept looking down. Harry passed him water.

Harry: Have some water Rah. We understand it's not easy to share. Stay calm okay.

Rahul took water glass with quite shaky hands and drank some water while Harry and Jassi shared a look of they are on right track. They knew they have to win Rahul's trust before persuading him more to share.

Jassi hold Rahul's arm to which he flinched once again and took few steps backwards.

Jassi: Rah.. calm down. Please sit. Beth jao okay. We will just talk.

Harry: Rah.. sach hum log koi trouble nahi chahte

Rahul didn't say anything and kept looking down

Jassi: Achchha see.. hum log waha couch pe bithate hai okay

Jassi and Harry sat on the couch.

Harry: Please take a seat Rah. Bed pe baith jao please.

Rahul sat on the bed. He was slightly shivering.

Harry: Rah.. please calm down

Jassi: Rah.. agar hume koi nuksan pahunchana hota to abhi tak Vi Bhai ko bata diya hota

Rahul: No.. no.. Bhaiya nahi.. woh.. he.. he will be hurt

Jassi (sarcastically): Glad that you know this Rah

Rahul looked down. Tears collected in his eyes.

Harry: Rah.. share with us baba.

Rahul felt his chest was getting heavier. He clutched the blanket in his fist.

Rahul: It's.. it's not you.. it's.. it's me.. it's me.. (loudly) it's always me..

Tears fell from his eyes

Jassi and Harry ran to him and hold him from either side hugging him.

Jassi: Rah.. hum hai na Rah. Please calm down

Harry was rubbing Rahul's back

Harry: Yes Rah.. please calm down

Rahul: No.. no.. go.. go away.. leave me.. leave me alone

Jassi: Rah look at us. We are your friends Rah. Hum tumhe kyu chhod ke jaye bhala batao hume

Rahul: I am bad.. I am..

He breathed heavily. Harry quickly took out Rahul's inhaler and kept it with himself but they first tried to calm him.

Jassi: Rah.. please listen to us. We want to help you Rah

Rahul looked at him surprisingly

Harry: Yes Rah.. we want to help you.

Rahul's face softened hearing this while the tears were still falling from his eyes but he quickly wiped them.

Rahul: Thanks but none can help me. None.. And.. and Thank.. thank you for your concern.

He breathed heavier.  Harry quickly passed him his inhaler. Rahul shook his head in no and tried to get up but Harry and Jassi made him sit.

Jassi: Rah.. we trust you Rah. We know there is a lot of pain which is causing you do this. We don't understand the depth but we understand you are doing this when you have no other option. But it is not good Rah

Harry: Haan Rah.. by doing this you hurt us.. Kabhi.. kabhi socha hai Vi Bhai aur Anu bhabhi ko kaisa lagega jab unko pata chalega. Hum nahi batayenge to kya kabhi unko pata hi nahi chalega?

Rahul didn't say anything but he remembered the reason he was doing this.

Flashes

Rahul (painfully screaming): Aaah.. aaah.. chhodo..

***************

Rahul (pleading): Please.. please jane do mujhe..

***************

Rahul (crying and pleading): Please.. please jane do mujhe..

He was sla*ped harshly

Flashes ends--

Rahul (shouted): Nahi...

Rahul started gasping for the breath. Harry quickly made him have two puffs.

Jassi: Rah.. Rah deep breaths.. please.. Inhale.. exhale.. Inhale.. exhale..

Harry: Rah you can do this okay. Calm down. You are doing good. Yes.. inhale.. exhale..

Rahul calmed down after a while. There was a complete silence for a while.

Jassi: Rah..

Rahul: I.. I am sorry. I didn't want to hurt you all. But.. I.. I am trying to control the urges but sometimes.. sometimes it is soo overpowering that.. I.. I can't..

Rahul left a shaky breath.

Harry: But why do you do this Rah?

Rahul shivered at the question. Harry and Jassi both noticed it.

Jassi: Rah.. okay we will not force you okay please shant raho.

Rahul took a deep breath

Harry: But Rah.. can you please share us whenever you feel that urge? We want to help you to overpower it

Jassi: Yes Rah.. let us help you

Rahul: Past.. past haunts.. a lot sometimes.

Jassi: We are family Rah. Aur hum sab milke sab problems ka samna sath me karenge. We are a team which always stands together. We are together in this Rah.

Harry: Yes Rah.. we are always with you. Please don't stress yourself much and never ever hesitate in letting us know whenever you feel urge to do.. do that okay

Rahul (softly and in low voice): Thank you

Harry and Jassi both smiled at him assuringly.

Jassi: Rah.. have some rest. You are looking pale

Rahul: No.. No.. they will come again

Harry: No one will come Rah..

Rahul: Will.. will you protect me?

Harry and Jassi's heart broke hearing the question. They both shared a worried look.

Harry & Jassi: Of course Rah. We will protect you okay.

They both made Rahul sleep. Harry ran from there. He was crying hard. A comforting hand was placed around his shoulder.

Harry: I can't see him like this Jas. How.. How could he?

"Harry"

Harry looked at the person with a jolt.

Harry (shocked): B-Ro...

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So that's it for this Chapter. Hope you guys like this

I need suggestions on how Rahul get closer to Bhuvi, Ash, Jaddu and Rohit.

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