Lance

So chat

I'm seriously fine. I'm just
stressed out

About what?

I don't know. Just life, I guess

Boys? School? Family?

Family, I guess

Okay, so like arguing? Or
You don't know your place?
Or they're expecting too
much of you?

I don't know. Maybe the last one

How so? Like in school,
or they want a perfect
Christian? Something
else?

I guess it's just that I feel like
I'm Hope's mother anymore.
I mean, I love her more than I
can tell you, but I feel like I have a
daughter, not a little sister.
And it's a lot of pressure, I guess.

So I take it your mom
has kind of let her down?

I mean Hope will never tell
you that, but yes. Like, the
woman insists on home-
schooling her. I agree with
that... I would never want
her in one of our middle
schools. But then Mom took
this job with the church
and she's never even home
anymore. When she is, she's
on the phone with someone
or at the very least texting.
It's kind of hard to home-
school when you're never
actually home and Hope's
too young to be abandoned
to just do it by herself. So
I end up doing it.

That must be tough.
School is a touchy area
and younger siblings
don't always take well
to their older siblings
correcting them on stuff
like that. What else?

Mom's always dropping the
ball on things for Hope.
Like, Wednesday, she was
supposed to take her to
dance. But then a lady from
the church called, so Mom
left to meet with her and
Hope had no ride. So Chris
and I handled it. I get that
the ministry my mom is
doing is important, but I
don't understand why it
takes priority over family
every single time.

And if you tried to
talk to your mom about
it, she'd get defensive
and feel like you were
attacking her ministry.
That's really tough.
Anything else?

She just... never spends any
time with Hope anymore.
Before she got this job, they
did a lot together, and now
they barely do anything.
Hope is really mature and
other middle schoolers and
even high schoolers tend to
annoy her. So she has some
friends, just not any really
close ones. I've always been
her best friend... mom and I.
And then Mom abandoned
her. So it's all on me to make
sure she's not lonely, to hang
out with her, to make sure
she's okay. I love her and I
love spending time with her,
but I'm just really busy so
it's a lot. And if I don't, no one
does. Chris will every once in
a while, but not like we do.
I just live in constant fear
that Hope's gonna go through
something really tough. It's
My job to make sure she's
always alright because I'm the
only person she talks to. And
it kills me that she looks at
me with this adoration in her
eyes when I know I'm not half
the person she thinks I am.

So you feel like you
have to be everything
for Hope... her best
friend, mother, teacher,
and big sister, all at
once, and you're
terrified you'll let her
down?

Exactly

Okay. I understand how
that can feel. And I want
you to know that if you
need anything... someone
to vent to, a ride for Hope,
a few hours away from the
house, a shoulder to cry on,
anything... I'm just a call or
text away. Okay?

Okay. Thank you. That means
a lot.

Don't mention it. Anything
else you want to talk about?

I'm okay. Thanks, though.

100%. Text me if you change
your mind. I love you very
much.

I love you too. Thanks again