A loud clash of lightning sends me from my never-ending slumber with a small jump. My eyes, wide and alert, flicker open, finding the room dark, only lit by a spent candle, on it's last few flickers itself.

A low rumble follows the clash, covering the earth in noise. My body, doused in strongly-scented oils, ointments and sweat, feels like one with the mattress. The air is thick with a scent I recognize as lavender.

There's a figure by the window, staring out, his body supported by the architecture behind him. MacCallan. He's clearly brooding, his arms crossed over his chest in contemplation. His hair, pulled back into a ponytail, hangs loose and unkempt. I blink slowly, realizing he's still in the same clothes from that night, only now he has a cloth wrapped around his arm.

"Callan?" My voice barely sounds, it's more like a whisper in the wind. He turns though, dropping his tense position.

He gapes, letting out a weak sound before uttering, "Gillian."

I lick my lips, feeling jaggedness along the usually soft skin. He steps forward, clearing his throat and grabs a cup with one hand. The other moves underneath my skull, lifting it enough that when he presses the cup to my mouth, I'm able to swallow the water without choking to death.

I swallow with difficulty, surprised by how swollen my throat feels. My head presses back into the pillows softly and he removes his hand, refusing to meet my gaze.

"What- what happened to me?" I whisper as he sets the glass down, immediately picking up a wood bowl and crusher.

"Ye... were stabbed. You remember that?"

I nod, wishing I didn't.

"... Shortly after ye were stitched up, it infected. 'Twas a severe fever. You've not been fully here in- well, now, it's ten days."

"Ten days?"

"Aye."

"And you... stayed with me? You didn't go?"

He crushes the contents in the bowl, nodding without a glance in my direction. I reach out hesitantly, unsure as to why my arm is resisting my brain. I rest my hand onto his arm, gently.

"Thank you... Callan."

He stops moving the piece of wood at the touch and looks down briefly before looking back to me. He nods, eyes rimmed with barely contained water. "I'm just glad you're awake, Gillian."

I nod, confused as he sets down the bowl onto the table and turns, clearing his throat. Before he exits the room, he gets out, "I'll find ye something to eat."

I stare after him, feeling a tightness in my throat at the expression on his face before he left. I wish I could call him back but I can't. The door opens wider suddenly, revealing a flushed Ann, who gasps finding me awake.

"Oh Gilly! Oh Christ, lass, I thought I'd never speak to ye again, I swear!"

She enters, rushing to my bedside. I smile warmly when she cups my face, pressing a deep kiss into my cheek.

"Ann," I sigh, simply just to say her name.

"The entire clan is in a frenzy about ye! Almost all the men are gone now, but the women are down right frightened for ye. You've got to be as hungry as a bear, aren't ye? The lad has been trying for days to feed ye."

"Is... he okay?" I whisper as she grabs the glass beside my bed, refilling it simply because. She sets it back down and sighs, smiling softly.

"He'll be right in a bit. He was rightly frightened for ye, Gilly, as ye could expect. Hasn't left your side in days."

I lean my head back against the pillows, closing my eyes. "Is Lachlan- already gone- to Inverness?"

"Aye, they've set off to train, I've heard and then, they will meet in Inverness... He was aggrieved for harming ye, Gillian."

I don't answer. My mind drifts to more important thoughts, like if MacCallan will have to go fight this war that they surely do not win or if I can- possibly convince him to stay.

...

"You're not supposed to be outside, ye ken it well."

I look up from my place on the grass, squinting up at MacCallan standing above me. I smile, looking back down.

"I was going crazy. Two weeks cramped up in that room is hell."

"Aye," he agrees, looking up at the grand willow tree I'm sitting before. He takes a seat beside me, tucking his hair behind his ears. "Aye, I do ken it."

I twirl the weed between my hands restlessly, uncomfortable. "You've barely uttered a word to me in days."

"With difficulty, too."

I look to him, pressing my lips together. "What does that even mean?"

"What do ye want me to, Gillian? Say? I dinnae ken what I should."

"How about you tell me what you feel."

"I'd rather not, if that's alright with ye."

"Why?"

He looks down, shaking his head aggrevatedly. "Because I'll tell ye how I feel and then your husband will come back and none of it will matter."

"It matters to me. It will always matter to me... What we said- that night- it's kept me going."

"So, what, Gillian? I'm just supposed to spew out how much I care for ye just because ye need it to go on? That isnae fair to me because I'm the one who has to go tonight."

I look to him at that, wide-eyed. "To-tonight?"

He looks down at his hands- clean, slender utensils, the key to his profession. "Aye, I gave my word I'd meet them in Inverness when ye were fit."

"But- I'm- I'm not. I need you here."

"Gillian, ye can walk, can ye not?"

I don't hide my desperation. "I need you to stay. You can't go."

"And why is that? I'll be needed once the fightin' begins."

"Because this war isn't won by the Scots. The British win." There. I finally said it.

He stares at me, gaping slightly. "... Nay, Gillian."

"Callan, you know I'm not from- here. I know that we don't win. In fact, this war is rather meaningless and will only last through the winter. The men tied to the Jacobite cause will surrender to the British and the ones that are not put to death, are either jailed or sent to America... the colonies."

"No..." he whispers doubtfully, shaking his head. He glances up, uncomfortably. "You're sure about it?"

"I'm completely sure."

"James is the rightful kind of Scotland- and you're saying- he loses?"

"I am saying exactly that... which is why you can't leave. Lachlan's already gone but-"

"It's my duty to be there, Gillian. I'll be considered a traitor- a coward- to Clan Chattan if I dinnae go."

"Most of those men may not come back..." I keep a strong gaze on his face. " You're not seriously thinking of going... even after I've told you?"

He stares at me and then towards the field. "I am going. 'Tis my sense of honor."

I feel my face contort in anger and I look away, wanting to yell, shout, scream at him. Tell him he's being ridiculous. I don't, however, knowing it would change nothing. He promised and he'll keep it.

We sit in silence, neither of us moving although the air is tense surrounding us.

"You've still got the same fiery spark... I thought, when I saw ye again, standin' beside that bastard, smiling as he touched ye- as if he knew every crevasse of you, I thought maybe it had faded."

"... I'm a very different person than the one you knew."

"Aye, you're not a lass any longer. You've become a woman."

I look to him, smiling softly. "... You've always been a man."

He chuckles, looking ahead. "I'd like to think so. Sometimes, I feel- like I'm a wee bairn, lost in this world without a single rooted person to guide me."

"You seem to have done really well, since we spoke. Ann has told me of your accomplishments... I saw you the other day- well the other week... with a girl."

"Aye."

My fingers curl around each other. "Is she-"

"Important to me?" he says, surprising me by reading my thoughts. I nod, biting on my bottom lip, nervously. "Nay, I barely ken the lass."

Thank God. "But, surely there's been others..."

"That I've loved?" He chuckles, shaking his head. "That... would also be a no."

"Oh." I'm unable to hide the relief. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "But you've done well? I heard about some of your travels..."

He looks to me, calmly. "I had to- stay busy, Gillian."

I barely blink, transfixed by his voice, his face, his smell. He doesn't look away until I do, staring out over the field.

My time without MacCallan was spent rather differently. Awkwardly, I point out straight ahead towards the chapel.

"My-my daughter is buried there."

He looks at me, silent but awed. "Daughter?"

I nod. "Yes, I had a daughter. She was- already gone when I had her... Josephine."

He grabs my hand slowly and releases a uncertain breath. "Was she- Lachlan's?"

I look up at him and nod, sadly. "It's probably a good thing- it wasn't ours... It would have killed me, probably."

He stares at me for a moment, before nodding.

He clears his throat. "Aye... I'm verra sorry, Gilly. I'm sorry I wasnae here to help ye through that."

I move my hand over his, smiling at the familiarity. "It- didn't only hurt me. Lachlan... was very much looking forward to a child."

He looks away, nodding.

"He- has tried over the years to... to control his temper. To make me happy."

"I dinnae want to hear about it."

"Well, I need you to. You're leaving me tonight and I have to go through the aspect of never seeing you all over again... I tried to love him. Especially towards the end and for a while, we managed well. But, I cannot love him. I cannot give something I don't have, Callan."

I scoot closer to him, lifting my hand to his face. He flinches slightly as I move loose strands of hair from his face, smiling as I clasp his neck. "My heart. It's always been yours, since I first saw you."

He closes his eyes with a deep exhale. "Gillian."

"I'll always be yours, MacCallan."

He grasps my head at that, crushing his mouth to mine. We claw at each other in blind lust, gasping and moaning, unable to stop ourselves. The years apart come at us at once, too much to handle. I pull away, dropping my face onto his chest as the tears overflow from my eyes onto his plaid.

"There's too much to say," he says, conflicted. I nod, clutching him tighter.

"I know... I know."

We detach like wildfire as footsteps approach. Wiping my eyes, I look up, calmer when I find Ann smiling shyly.

"Sorry to disturb ye, but you've got company." 

A/N: It's my birthday and I'm so glad to be uploading this scene today of all days! It's one of my favorites in this book so far! I truly hope you guys are enjoying this story so far! I'm so grateful to you guys for everything you do for me. xx