My knees go weak. I reach for the table for balance. "W-why is he coming here?"

"He's been chosen to accompany Clan Chattan, by vote, of course, to Inverness. He's accepted. He will be here within the week to meet with us before we head off."

I swallow with difficulty. "Oh."

"The bastard accepted knowing you'd be here! Knowing there was no way for me to forbid him!"

"Calm down, Lachlan. Just sit down. I'll... get you a drink."

He deposits himself in the chair I was in, uttering explicits in Gaelic. I grab the case of brandy, staring into the embers of the flames. Just the thought of seeing him again- my heart is wild as a stallion. My mind is rational, however, knowing that I've secured a safe future with a man- who treats me right- a good amount of the time... What is wrong with me? I can't believe I even thought that.

"You have nothing to be worried about," I hear myself utter softly. 

Turning with the glass in hand, I walk over and set it onto the table, staring down at him. His gaze is fierce on my face, intimidating but I don't back down.

"Ye love the man. I'm just supposed to forget that once he's under my roof?"

"I loved the man, Lachlan. You're my husband and I'm faithful to you."

His eyes flicker in surprise, his mouth hung open just slightly. "Are ye telling me the truth? Or just what I want to hear?"

"The truth," I whisper, meaning it. I am faithful to him. "I'm telling you the truth."

He stands slowly, smiling in disbelief. "Ye love me?"

I shift away from him, swallowing as he takes my face beneath his hands.

"Yes," I answer quickly, lying.

He smiles, wide, kissing me deeply. "You have- no idea how happy you've just made me, Gillian."

"We're in this- together," I whisper, staring over his shoulder as he pulls me close. The vase of thistles thrive on top of the window sill, behind it is the view of the willow tree.

...

"He's here!" Ann gasps loudly, shutting the door to the bedroom. I turn from the window, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Who?"

"MacCallan Mackenzie! He just arrived! He went into the hall! Come- we must get you ready. We need to make you look-"

"Normal, Ann," I say sternly, frowning. "I need to look normal. This is not the same situation as before."

"Is it not? You're seeing the man, I know ye have missed for years, today and you're telling me ye can just act normal?"

"I must act normal... Lachlan will lose his mind if I don't."

She shakes her head. "...Well, let's get ye dressed then."

My eyes flicker to my jewelry box as she combs through my hair.

"Your hair has grown so much since ye first arrived here. It's already past your hipbones!" she exclaims, chuckling to herself. Not listening to her, I lift the box, finding the dried thistle flattened against the table.

"What is that? Is that a thistle?"

I nod, touching it lightly. "Yes... Callan gave it to me, the first night we met in secret."

"And you've kept it ever since?" she questions quietly. I nod, feeling my face begin to lose it's sense of calm. My walls are having a hard time staying upright.

"Y-yes." I fall to pieces quietly, resting my head against my hand.

"Oh... Gillian. Gilly, it's alright. Everything will be alright."

I look up at her, hiccupping sobs. "How is anything alright? I have to go out there and pretend to be in love with my husband in front of the man I actually love, just to ensure his safety! I don't trust Lachlan. I don't trust him not to hurt him!"

"Look at me." She grabs my face, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I have seen you go from bad to worse to sensible. I have never once seen ye at good- not since Callan. Your smile is different, you don't laugh from your belly. Ye were pulled away from your love and he has returned... Don't ye think, if only for a moment-"

"You don't know Lachlan, Ann... Not like I do... I sent Callan away that night. I was the one who sent him away. I knew Lachlan would ruin his life- that's why I didn't go."

"Ye sent him away?"

I nod. "Yes, and everyday, I've lived with that decision! I lived with it because I kept him safe and now- now he's coming to fight this damn war- this war that-"

"Have faith, Gilly. They'll win this war, I can tell ye that. James is our rightful king."

I stare at her, trying to blink the tears away. "I don't know how to face him."

"Ye are a brave lass. I ken you'll do the right thing. Whether it's the sensible thing or not- is another story."

...

"It's so nice to see you again," I exclaim, clasping Mary Davidson's hands tightly. She nods, smiling wide. The castle grounds are wild and noisy- from the sudden swarm of men and their wives, here to speak to the chief of Clan Chattan.

"Aye, and ye as well! It's been too long since your visit... Ye look bonny, lass, as usual."

"Thank you," I murmur, touching her updo lightly. "I love what you've done with your hair."

"Aye? I'm tryin' something new..." Her lips press together tightly suddenly. "My husband and I would like to send our condolences on the loss of your child. I ken it's overdo, a year later but-"

I touch her hand, shaking my head. "I'm glad for it, either way. Thank you, Mary."

"I too- have lost a child. I ken the pain of it."

I smile, pressing my lips together, unused to speaking about her. I tend to fall to pieces when I do. "It's- still difficult, especially, since we haven't gotten, um- with child again."

"It will happen when it's meant to, dear girl. Ye are young and your body is wide-hipped and strong. You'll bare a child."

I let out a laugh, tearfully and nod. "Thanks."

She nods, clasping my face warmly. "Aye."

After a moment of silence, I clear my throat, shaking my head. "Ann?"

"Aye?" she questions, always by my side.

"Will you show Mistress Davidson to her room? She must be exhausted from the journey."

Mary tugs on my hand once more before she follows Ann, who smiles to her, already explaining what time supper is. I stare after them, crossing my hands over my gown.

It's a dark shade- fancier than usual due to the guests we're hosting. I have to look and act like a lady. I walk the halls toward the great room, breathing deeply for courage that I don't have.

I fear to run into him at every corner. I enter the room, finding Lachlan already searching the room for me. He smiles and nods to the gentleman in front of him and sets course for the entrance. I keep my gaze towards him, too scared to look around the room.

He approaches, holding out his hand for me to take. "What took ye so long?"

My voice comes out weakly. "-was speaking to Mary Davidson for a bit."

"Aye? Well, come. I'd like ye to meet some people."

I nod, smiling. "Alright."

We move together down the stone steps and into the crowds. My eyes then take the time to scan the room for a familiar face but I don't find it.

"Gillian, this is Master Lovat. Sir, this is my wife, Gillian Grant Macintosh."

Older in age, he nods, bowing slightly. "Pleasure."

I smile, desperately trying to look calm. "It's wonderful to meet you. My husband has mentioned you on more than one occasion, with only pleasant remarks."

That's actually not true, but it brings a smile to Lachlan's face.

"Aye? He better have, the old geezer," Lovat chuckles.

"Old? I am old, ye say?" Lachlan laughs, shaking his head. The smile on my face dissipates when my eyes fall to the left, where only a mere couple feet away, MacCallan Mackenzie stands, still as stone, watching me.

His hair is loose, still dark as ever, framing his timeless features. His body looks the same, his legs towering in his plaid. He's exactly as I remembered him.

Lachlan's hand suddenly rubs down my back comfortingly and I watch him look away sharply, turning for the door. I let out a small sound of reluctance and the pair before me, look down.

"Are ye alright?" Lachlan whispers, warmly. I nod, clearing my throat with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah-yes, I'm sorry. I've had the worst headache today."

"Aye? Well, chamomile does wonders. The Mackenzie lad gave me some yesterday. I'd go see him if it persists."

"I can get it for ye," Lachlan says immediately, with a sharpness that wasn't there before. The man eyes him with surprise.

"Attentive, aren't ye, man?"

"Aye... aye, anything for my bride," Lachlan murmurs, smiling as his eyes flicker to the doorway.