"Here."

Haven't had heard anyone enter, I look from the darkness outside the window towards the entranceway. Symon is standing by the table, setting down water and a bowl of food. I stare at him, blankly until he looks up.

"Why are you acting like this?" I whisper, having expected to be black and blue by now.

He presses his lips together, rubbing his dark beard slowly. The silence before he speaks is deafening. "I love you, Gillian. I didn't before we got here but- somewhere along the way, it happened."

"Did you love me when you made half of my face the shade of a plum?"

"I don't know."

I close my eyes, tiredly. "... If you love someone, you let them go."

"If you can bare let them go, it's not love. I don't want you to leave me and that is why I did what I did today. Why I risked so much to keep you. Why no one else knows about this but us."

"And Callan... What's to stop him from running off and telling the world?"

"He's a smart man. He'd sound like a fool. I've proven myself here well enough. They believe I'm Lachlan and have no proof otherwise."

I shake my head, looking out the window again.

"We're going to marry tomorrow as planned and this- infatuation- if it's real, will fade with time... But you will perform your duties as a wife of mine."

"I understand what you're saying," I growl, not needed clarification.

"Do you?"

I nod, wiping a tear slowly. Moments later, I hear the door open and he leaves, locking it behind him once more to ensure I stay inside.

...

I stare at the ceiling from my bed, surprised by how bright the moon is tonight. I think of all the nights I've run out to meet MacCallan- in a dazed high.

I was high off of love. Off of him.

The highlands.

The affair.

That feeling is gone... long gone. There's an emptiness that's replaced it, leaving me unable to scream or cry or pray. I'm just awake, staring at the ceiling.

The hours pass in eerie silence, only the sound of my breathing and the noises of the old castle to be heard.

Until I hear the sound of keys and sit up, pulling the cover up over my chest. The door rattles and opens, revealing the figure of a woman. Ann.

"Ann?"

"Shh, grab your cape."

"I can't leave," I gasp, awed.

"Quickly. Grab whatever ye need and away, he's waitin' for ye."

"Who?"

"MacCallan!" she whispers impatiently.

Without a thought, I'm out of bed within a single second, running for my cape. I have nothing worth taking so I slip on the cape and wrap my arms around Ann, squeezing her tight.

"Thank you, Ann. I'll never forget your kindness."

"You deserve this love. I'll miss ye, lassie," she whispers, kissing my cheek warmly. "Now, go."

I hurry out of the door, for the willow, knowing that he'd wait there. I get through the chapel, too desperate to say goodbye to any of the things I've grown to love in this castle. I cut across the grass, smiling wide when I find him by the tree, already coming towards me.

I run into him, gasping at the impact.

"I thought you hated me."

"I love ye," he says, gasping. "We must go now."

I nod, taking his hand. We hurry forward through the grass and I see a horse at the edge of the clearing.

As my brain finally begins to churn, thinking for the first time since Ann came into the room, the steps become harder and harder to take as we near the animal.

And as if there were a force field, destined to shield me from happiness, I'm tormented of unwilling flashes of what our lives would be like... what I'd do to the vibrant, acclaimed, prosperous man in front of me.

I think of life on the road. We'd love each other but- never stop running.

I shake my head and force myself forward. No, I can't. I need him.

Symon won't stop looking. I know he won't.

I feel my feet begin to slow as the tears of fear begin fill my eyes.

How can I do this to him? To someone I love? How can I ruin him?

"Hurry, Gillian."

"We-I can't do this," I whisper, shaking my head. He looks back at me.

"What?"

I stop moving. "I-I can't do this to you."

"Do what to me?"

"Ruin you. You're such a needed man, Callan. You're so talented. If you do this, I'll be tearing that from you."

"No, ye won't be!"

"I will and you know it. Symon has control over an entire confederation of clans!"

"Symon?"

I close my eyes. "Lachlan. That's his real name- Symon."

He tugs my hand, shaking his head. "Come... come on, Gillian."

My heels dig into the ground. "Think about this, Callan. Don't think of my feelings. Don't think of anyone but yourself and what you're willing to lose. I love you but I don't know if I could live, seeing people turn you away because of me."

"It's a profession," he says, pulling me forward. I resist him.

"It's your livelihood!"

He turns to look at me, eyes wide in shock. "Do ye really want to go back to him? Because if we dinnae hurry, we will be caught!"

"He'll find us- you know it."

He shakes his head. "I willnae leave ye."

"You must! I-I thought I would be able to do this but- I-I can't. Not knowing the damage I'll cause you. Symon told me- he asked if I thought of anyone but myself and I do! I'm thinking of you!"

"Gillian," he whispers, pressing his forehead against mine. "I cannae live without ye."

I stare at him, warmly. "But you know I'm right."

He swallows and closes his eyes, running his hand over my hair. "You're... not going to come with me, are ye?"

My lips tremble violently. "I-I can't."

He turns, sucking in a breath and runs his hands over his hair, holding them there. "All this pain and suffering- you're just going to go to him? To live as his bride till the end of your days?"

The horse at the end of the field whinny's impatiently. I close my eyes and look down, crying in fear. Fear of never seeing him again.

"Are ye sure about this, Gillian?"

I nod, forcing myself to meet his gaze. "I will do whatever I can to protect you, Callan, and to do that, I need you to go alone where you can prosper and-and marry someone who wouldn't destroy- who you are."

The moments that pass in silence tear at my insides. 

"... And ye? What will happen to you, ye sacrificing dove?" he whispers, painfully.

"I'll- love you. I'll love you until I cannot love anyone anymore." I drop my head into my hands, shaking. "Please... just- hold me."

He comes forward and wraps his arms around my body hard enough to make me cry harder. I welcome the pain and wrap mine around his shoulders, heaving violently into his hair.

We stand like that for moments, just a few until I pull back, swallowing. I touch his face, running my hand beneath his wet cheek.

"Make love to me, Callan... here. Now, so I can remember."

After a moment, he nods, swallowing deeply and looks around. "Come."