In the middle of the night, Xiao Fang stirred on the frozen concrete floor as his eyes fluttered. Sweat seeped through his forehead, down his neck and on the lines of his hair while he struggled to move as images of a hand; big and strong and covered in bulging veins, carefully caressed the corners of his cheek in such softness, he hummed; pleased.

Then there were lips, soft, full, warm, crashing against his own, stealing his breath away, forcing a gasp out of his mouth as Xiao Fang welcomed a tongue that tasted like sage tea. Though he knew little of what was happening, he leaned in closer, eagerly kissing back the faceless man a bit rougher, more desperate.

Who could it be?

The soldier did not know, but when the faceless man wrapped his arms around his back — up to his shoulders, caressing him in such a way as if they were lovers — they must have been lovers, Xiao Fang felt warmth blossom inside of him.

"Xiao Fang," a voice coming from the faceless man rasped, echoing from a distance. Yet close at the same time, fading near his ear. "Xiao Fang," it repeated. "Xiao Fang."

When the faceless man stopped kissing and ceased touching him, Xiao Fang's heart quaked. "No," he whispered — capturing the man's hand, squeezing, never wanting to let go. "Where are you going?"

"Xiao Fang."

"Don't leave me," Xiao Fang begged as the images inside of his head faded, disappearing — leaving him. "Where are you going? Come back. I'm all alone. I don't — I don't want this to be over. Don't leave."

"Let's go to Chongqing, Xiao Fang."

Xiao Fang's forehead wrinkled. "...Yi?"

The minute Commander Wang Yi's name slipped from his mouth, a face appeared on the faceless man. A man's face, all too familiar with a childish grin; warm brown eyes and soft pink skin and ruffled inky hair, and a dashing laugh that glowed bright light all around Xiao Fang as his world — this place he envisioned, came crashing down, disappearing —

"Xiao Fang."

Commander Wang.

Wang Yi.

Yi.

There was a hand on him, tapping his cheek to wake him from slumber. It wasn't Yi's dense hand — wasn't Yi's deep voice ringing in his ears, as he wanted to believe.

"Xiao Fang, wake up."

Jie Yu's voice startled Xiao Fang awake, forcing him to scramble upright until his back collided against the hard wall behind him.

With eyes blown wide, heart racing a mile a minute, begging to be released, he searched Jie Yu's expressionless face through the darkness within the prison confine, hoping to find something, anything. "What's happening?" he frowned. "What... What are you doing?"

"Bloody hell," Jie Yu said, his voice worrisome as his eyes roamed over Xiao Fang's body from head to toe, searching for something. "I thought you were running a fever — you're sweating like a pig. Are you alright?"

Xiao Fang groaned, willing himself to sit upright. "I'm fine," he lied.

"You don't look fine," Jiang Han sneaked in closer, sitting crossed-leg next to Xiao Fang's left before he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "You sure you're not catching a fever?"

As Xiao Fang fixed himself in a sitting position, watching the rest of his comrades huddled around him, clouding his space and making it hard to breathe, he couldn't — for the love of god, stop catching glimpses of Commander Wang's face.

Though he kept it to himself, he liked Yi, viewed the younger man as an equal, and treated him with respect despite knowing of the deadly damages Commander Wang's hands were capable of doing. However, Xiao Fang was not a fool. He knew of things beforehand.

A week ago, he was man enough to admit that Commander Wang infatuated him — made him curious. Unfortunately, it took him tonight to realize that he could not be more wrong. Staying close to Yi all this time made him subconsciously catch feelings for the younger man. The type of feelings his father carried for his mother. It felt wrong and right. It caused his stomach to twist strangely... He was doomed, and it was all his fault — he damned his own self.

"... He's ignoring us," Li Cheng tsked.

Were his comrades talking to him?

Quickly, Xiao Fang snapped out of his thoughts. "What is wrong?" he asked, his eyes searching for answers from Jie Yu to Cheng Li to Jiang Han to Chen Wei — back and forth he went, searching despite finding nothing except for frowning, disappointed faces from each of them.

"Since there's nothing wrong with you, we need to talk about leaving here." Chen Wei slapped him lightly on the arm before sucking his teeth, a habit he did out of annoyance. "It's clear that you're slacking off with that communist commander. You know we can't stay here much longer."

Xiao Fang chewed on his lower lip.

Right now, he did not mind talking about escaping this hellhole — he'd been putting it off for far too long. But, he did not want to talk about Yi. At least, not now.

"Yeah — what is it?" Cheng Li whispered, spit seeping out of his mouth as he talked, landing on Xiao Fang's cheek. Foul. The soldier's breath stunk, much like the others. "Did they offer you something to become one of their lap dogs?"

"Shut up, Cheng Li," Xiao Fang gritted, defending himself. "Don't think I have it easy because I'm helping them."

"This is different, Xiao Fang," Jie Yu added from where he sat, legs crossed, facing Xiao Fang. Jie Yu's face looked drained, and wrinkled with cracked skin, and bloodshot eyes. And though the prison guard wasn't around — he must have been taking a quick smoke outside — Jie Yu's eyes still took frightened glances at the door. "We can't stay here much longer. You said so yourself — you see what they're doing to us. We're all practically skin and bones."

Xiao Fang breathed, "I promised to get you all out of here —"

"We don't believe you," Cheng Li interrupted, pointing an accusing finger at Xiao Fang's face. "You've been saying this for far too long."

"Ah — don't talk nonsense, Cheng Li. We believe you, Xiao Fang." Jiang Han whispered, tapping Xiao Fang on the leg as reassurance.

"Xiao Fang," Jie Yu said. "We're just frustrated. I didn't —"

"I understand," Xiao Fang replied, straightening his shoulders.

He understood his brothers' frustration — their restlessness.

On February 17th, in fifteen days' time, the Chinese New Year would happen. If Xiao Fang couldn't secure a solid plan for them to escape by then, the Red Army would bomb the Kuomintang headquarters. Lives would be lost — hope would be lost, along with the possibility of a better China in the coming future.

"Then what the fuck is going on?" Chen Wei lashed out a little too hard from the right corner. "We're sick of you putting it off."

"I need more time," Xiao Fang hissed. "If we leave now, it'll be a death sentence."

"So you want us to remain here?" Jiang Han asked. "Are you foolish, Xiao Fang?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Xiao Fang added. "We will leave. We have to leave. The future of China depends on men like us... We have to leave."

Jie Yu ruffled a hand through his overgrown, brittle hair. "When?" he asked, frustrated. "We don't have enough time."

"Yeah, we're running out of time," Chen Wei said. "We have fifteen more days Xiao Fang. Fifteen goddamn days."

"We have enough time." Xiao Fang braced his head against the frozen concrete wall, sighing when the chill eased the burning sensation seeping out of his body. "Fifteen days is enough time."

"Are you sure?" Jie Yu asked.

Xiao Fang licked his lower lip; why wouldn't he be sure?

Though he could not seem to think of a good enough reason ‌as to why he would want to stay in a communist military base, when an image of Yi's scandalous lips appeared in his head, stealing his breath away, he wasn't as sure as he thought he'd be. Still, he could not allow his words to falter. Jie Yu would know his intentions weren't sincere.

"I'm sure," he answered.

++++++++++

In the following week, little had happened in the field where Xiao Fang and his comrades worked — breaking their backs in the heat all day. However, the same could not be talked about what was going on inside the military base.

For the past three, perhaps four days, Yi's presence was brief to none. Though Xiao Fang glanced at the younger man from time to time, peaking at him whenever Yi passed by the field in a hurry. Or whenever Yi boarded a military truck, speeding off on the dirt track. It was clear as crystal that something was happening in the war that Xiao Fang wasn't aware of. Or Yi wasn't telling him. Then again, why would Yi tell him? They weren't friends... Not real friends anyways.

With the back of his dirt-tattered hand, Xiao Fang wiped the sweat from his face. Then, he took a glance at the fence some ten meters dividing the field from the barracks where a middle-aged communist soldier stood, a rifle in his hand, watching the prisoners work in the field; plowing the ground with their bare hands.

Usually, during the noon hours when the military base stood the quietest, Yi would come by. Sometimes he stopped for a couple of minutes, staring as Xiao Fang worked before striding off.

Sometimes he would order Xiao Fang over; putting on a stiff, expressionless face to wander off any soldier's curiosity, only to have a bit of casual small talk with Xiao Fang when one looked. They would talk about the weather, their day, their future, and all things that crossed their minds. Sometimes they do not speak.

Today, Yi did not come.

When a light breeze drifted by, cooling Xiao Fang's heated body, the soldier knelt back down on the ground. While his shoulders slumped, his breathing faltering, a thousand thoughts weighed on him; why should he care whether Commander Wang came?

Xiao Fang should know better.

Yet, as he pulled unwanted wild bushes out from the soil — damp from this morning's drizzle — his curious eyes continued wandering off to the fenced area where the soldier stood; back and forth, back and forth, hoping Yi might appear.

When some time passed, Xiao Fang stopped looking over his shoulders. It seemed Yi must have gotten more critical duties than to visit Xiao Fang. However, as he plucked another bundle of razor grass from the soft soil, the soldier by the fenced area shouted loud enough for all to hear; "Xiao Fang, Commander Wang request your immediate presence!"

Suddenly, Xiao Fang's breath hitched as he twisted around, only to see Yi standing on the other side of the fence, dressed neatly in a newly polished uniform; a slightly deeper blue that blended exceptionally well in the mountains, patiently waiting.

As fast as lightning, he shuffled off of the ground — ignoring the aching twist that rushed to his stomach, coiling in waves. Though all around him, his comrades stopped what they were doing, frowning as he strode toward the fenced area where Yi stood; a hand behind his back, an unreadable expression lingered on his face as it glazed against the sun's glare — Xiao Fang ignored all them, as though in a trance; the only person he could see was Commander Wang.

Xiao Fang should have known better.

"Yi — Commander Wang," Xiao Fang said, a bit too keenly as he took large strides toward the fenced area where Yi waited; a small smile that failed to reach his eyes crept at the corner of his lips the closer Xiao Fang approached.

"Open the gates," Yi instructed the communist soldier, though his eyes were still on Xiao Fang, lingering as if he could not look elsewhere.

"Yes, Commander Wang," the soldier saluted before dragging the gate open.

"Come with me, Xiao Fang," Yi instructed before turning his back on Xiao Fang and walked off.

Xiao Fang did not answer. Instead, he looked over his shoulder, nodding at Jie Yu, who stood far across the field, watching as Xiao Fang left, a shocked, almost serious look covering his face.

Xiao Fang licked his lower lip as he followed Yi. "I didn't think you would come," he said.

"I've been busy," Yi said, leading Xiao Fang straight down.

They walked fast, sticking close to the spiked barrier that separated the base from the forest.

Xiao Fang glanced around, taking in the familiar view of the west side barracks where Zichen led him through that horrendous day where he witnessed the deaths of his distant comrades. Though wild bushes now stuck to the fence — towering as tall as five feet; it was the same narrow path that led to the base's entrance upfront; right before the barricade curved.

"Xiao Fang," Yi said, stopping in his tracks; he stared at Xiao Fang. They were behind the abandoned barrack, where no one could see them unless someone walked by. No one should walk by. At least, not around this time. "What I'm about to say is important, so listen carefully, okay?"

Xiao Fang swallowed. He did not like the sound of Yi's hardened tone.

"...Okay."

"Someone...a lone soldier from the Kuomintang went to Nanjing's base this morning and opened fire on the soldiers," Yi said. "We've been having random attacks like these for the past week. Soldiers disguise themselves as civilians before opening fire. If any more of these attacks, I'm afraid orders might come in from headquarters. I don't know what they'll want, but sometimes we execute the prisoners as retribution."

Xiao Fang's breath hitched. "What do you mean?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"I might have to kill you," Yi answered, his voice quivering as he studied Xiao Fang's face. "It means that I might have to kill all of the prisoners to send a warning."

For a moment, Xiao Fang stood, frozen in place as he took some time to register Yi's words. "Yi," he said, his voice trembling as he braced his back against the barrack, sinking against the wooden structure, feeling helpless once again. "I don't...I don't want to —"

"You will not die," Yi boldly grabbed hold of his hand. A small act of reassurance that brought some comfort to Xiao Fang's racing heart. "Listen to me, Xiao Fang. You saved my life. I will save yours. If it comes down that I have to kill off the prisoners, I will find a way to save your life. Do you understand? Nothing will happen to you."

"What about my comrades?"

"I..." Yi paused, hanging his head low as if thinking things through as he continued holding Xiao Fang's hand. "If the order is given, I can't save them. But I can save you."

Yi must have been a fool to think that Xiao Fang would entertain the thought of having his life spared while his comrades perished. "Then I don't want you to save me," he insisted, straightening his shoulders despite his quivering tone.

Men should not be weak in hard times; Xiao Fang heard the slogans countless times, broadcasted on the radio, on the news stations, in morning papers — on flyers.

At this moment, he did not want to appear weak — at least, not in front of Yi. In this short time, he had shed more tears around Yi than anyone else. He would not shed more — he would, Xiao Fang bit his lower lip as hot tears fell, clouding his vision before he closed his eyes. Damn it.

"Xiao Fang," Yi whispered in a pleading voice a little too close before bringing a thumb to wipe away the fallen tears from his eyes. "Don't do this to yourself. Not again."

Why was Yi showing him so much kindness? Xiao Fang gritted his teeth, hating how the hairs at the back of his neck stood straight because of Yi. Was this how brothers comforted each other? Impossible. Yi did not have a brother. Did he not know that they were both men?!

"Take me back to the field," Xiao Fang opened his eyes, swatting Yi thumb off of him. "I don't want to be here. Just take me back, Commander Wang."

If Yi must have felt hurt by Xiao Fang's actions, he masked it exceptionally well because he seemed the least bothered.

"I brought something for you," Yi stuffed a hand inside his trouser pocket, pulling out a baozi (steamed stuffed bun) that pecked out from the brown wrapping paper. "I bought it from Lu Ba. Remember we —"

"I don't want anything!" Xiao Fang lashed out.

How dare Yi offered him confections when his comrades were starving?

He felt sick to his stomach just remembering all the times he accepted those fresh baths from Yi while his comrades stayed stuck in the cell. While he wore clean clothes; his comrades wore tattered ones. While he had tea and pastries and cooked fish and proper food; his comrades lived off of plain rice!

"I don't want anything," he repeated much softer.

Despite sweat seeping out of his body, wetting through the clothes he wore, Xiao Fang shivered in coldness as he could no longer breathe; feeling disgusted at himself.

"I don't want anything."

Desperate to get some air, he tilted his head back and opened his mouth, staring above the cloudless skies. Why must fate continue treating him with such cruelty?

Yi took a step closer. "...Fang-ge, breathe."

Standing only inches between each other, if anyone came by, they would most likely think otherwise, think — immoral thoughts.

When Yi clutched his shoulders firmly, he inhaled.

"That's right," Yi muttered a bit too soft, a bit too caring. "Breathe."

Though ashamed, Xiao Fang melted against the feel of those big, callused fingers squeezing him, massaging his shoulders to steady his breathing. He wanted so much more — wanted those fingers elsewhere. God, he so badly wanted to lean his head against Yi's shoulder — wanted to be touched. Such a despicable thought; he hated himself.

"I won't let anyone kill you," Yi promised, his breath; cold, minty, fanning against Xiao Fang's face, sending shivers down his spine. "No one will harm you."

Xiao Fang exhaled.

"I would rather die together with my comrades than go on living as a coward," he said. "I will not abandon my brothers. I swore an oath."

"...Xiao Fang," Yi frowned.

"...Yi."

As a million more thoughts raced through Xiao Fang's head, he looked straight at Yi's face. Dreaming of sleeping on the same mattress with another man already brought him great shame. Dreaming of sleeping with the enemy — how could he look at himself in the mirror now? If his father could see what a disgraceful son Xiao Fang became — if his mother could see what a humiliation she created, his parents would hang their heads in shame.

"Take me back to the field," he said softly, sounding empty, hallow.

Yi's fingers tightened from his shoulders. "...I shouldn't have told you anything," he gritted as his eyes crinkled in displeasure. "It's a possibility that they would issue that order, but that doesn't mean it'll happen."

"It's still a possibility," Xiao Fang added.

Yi sighed, his fingers loosening from Xiao Fang's shoulders. "You're such a stubborn man," he said.

"I know," Xiao Fang faked a lifeless chuckle. "I know."

Xiao Fang unintentionally wanted to delay time because he wanted to be around Yi more. However, Yi's soft voice — his strong touches and pretty laugh would have to remain a memory for all of Xiao Fang's lifetime. Come tomorrow night, he would escape with his comrades.

No more lagging off.

++++++++++

All this time, as the two soldiers stood inches between each other, one shedding silent tears, the other struggling to keep his steps still, prying eyes — fueled in rage, observed them from the front entrance with distaste — watching with blinded hatred.