RUHI

After knowing the entire truth,I was not in any condition to react anything. Everything was so unexpected. I had turned speechless in total shock to react anything.

Becoming a mother was something that made every woman feel the most elated and invincible in her life. There was a pure joy and bliss when a mother saw her child to grow from dependent baby to independent and perfect human being. It was something which included with responsibility, commitment, patience, sacrifices which every woman was heartily ready to do for her own child. It radiated another meaning of happiness. The news of being a mother was the most rewarding feeling in the world. This time was a life-alternating experience pampered with a different co-existing period of unfathomable love ,pride ,excitement and unexplainable emotions.

(An: Being honest, I have taken little help from Google to write this feeling properly as I was not being able to write the feelings and neither I know about this feeling too much.😣)

However in my case, totally opposite thing was going on instead of how I should have felt. I was absolutely clueless about how I should feel. On that night, everything was consensual yet everything seemed so wrong from every aspect. We both did not want it yet it happened and now we were going through this consequence.

I was disappointed, shocked and angry. I loved him but he did not love me till now. I was not sure about how to feel. We had crossed the boundary and we both had equall contributions in this result. However, I never expected this from him that he would hide such a big thing from me.

It was absolutely wrong of him to hide the truth. As much as I loved him, I could not forgive him for the thing he had done. How could he do this? A huge thing had taken place in my life when I was barely conscious enough to even figure out what was going on in my life.

He should have never hidden such a big thing from me. I could feel rage filling me. At the same time, I was regretting for my actions. How could I have been so irresponsible and careless on that day? I literally gave up on my self respect on that day and done things which were absolutely worse.

How could I have been so stupid not to realize the intentions of that man? How could I let myself give in to my desires? I had consumed drug and made such a huge mistake and my life for which I could never forgive myself. My own behavior had no excuse to prove myself right.This was absolutely wrong.

My trance was broken by the sniffling sounds as I turned to face Krrish who had red eyes and he was crying. I couldn't hide my shock when I saw him crying like that.

"Ruhi, I am the culprit. I don't deserve to be here with all of you. I have taken advantage of your drgged situation. When I should have been responsible and mature, I have broken the boundary and let things happen between us knowing in what situation you were in. I am such a bad person." He stated while shrugging off his shoulder. I wanted to comfort him for saying such things because I had equal fault in making things difficult for us. He should not blame himself. But he had hidden such a big news which was terrible.

"The worst mistake I have made is by hiding such a huge truth from you.I have kept it to myself all the while when I should have revealed one of the most crucial thing of your life. I am the worst husband in the world. From the beginning of our marriage life, I have only given you wounds. Now it's time to punish me. You should really punish me. I deserve the worse than the worst." He broke down while saying so.

He was putting the entire blame on himself and this was not right. He should know that it was not his fault that everything had happened. I had also let things go out of control. Everything had happened because of my stupidity. Whatever the situation was, he was the father of my child and I could not be a stone to him.

I knew Krrish very well and he would surely love me oneday and maybe this child would be the reason of our union. I should accept this as my worst nightmare of my life. He was putting the entire blame on him when I had done worse than him. I had also made things happen between us. It was not his fault that everything had turned out to be like this.

I shook my head and held his his hands when he looked up to meet my eyes. His eyes were filled with grief and regret.

"Just let it go. I have equally done wrong in letting things happen between us. We both have done wrong. However, you shouldn't have hide such a big thing from me. We can't stay stuck in this phase, Krrish. We have to accept the truth and move on. We have no more options left either. " I said truthfully about what I truly felt.

"We have to move on. You are going to be father, Krrish. Are you truly happy that it has happened? I know that it was a shock but be honest about what you truly. Do you really want this child or not?" I asked unsurely, the tight grappling fear in my mind about what his decision would be at this point.

"Of course Ruhi , I am very happy and I will gladly accept my child. Even though things have been worse between us, I still feel good to know that something good has come out in the end. However, I am not sure about what I should do about our relationship.I don't know how to be a father and husband at the same time." I heaved a sigh at his statement.

"I know that you don't love me but you have still soft corner for. That's enough. I am sure that you will be a goof father." I explained caressing his hand.

"We are no longer friends Ruhi. I have feelings for you I don't know whether I am falling in love with you or not. But if it will be true then I will be happy to give this heart to you.But I need time. I want to be with you"

A sudden ray of happiness flowed through my body hearing his honest answer. Even though my mind was pretty messed up after the roller-coaster of events that had taken a toll on me, I was content with his answer. I was glad to see the change in his behavior. I was glad that he was willing to work on for our relationship and our future.

"Ruhi, just forgive me. I should have never hidden such a big thing from you. I am sorry." He apologised pressing his lips into a thin line.I took a sharp intake of air.

"I have forgiven you,Krrish. Let's start everything with our new beginning where our baby will be also with us." I mentioned trying to put up a small smile, hoping to lighten up the mood.

"You are not a human being Ruhi. You are the Goddess. I am really lucky to have you.I don't know how you can forgive me for being such an irresponsible and careless husband"

With this, he threw his arms around my neck pulling me in his warm hug.

Though, I had accepted everything for the sake of him and my unborn child, I really didn't know whether my mind could completely forget the things in near future. It was going to haunt me in my future. I really didn't know how things would be changed.I was truly wounded with deep scars that would never be healed probably.

KRRISH

"You may forgive me and present yourself as strong and happy infront of us but I am understanding the emotional turmoil of your mind. I can feel the storm which is going on your mind. You are desperate to know the remedies to heal your wounds. And I will try my best to heal the wounds. I can't control my anger and that's the biggest complication of my life. But from now ,I will try to change myself only for you and my child. I will try Ruhi." I thought in my mind ,convincing myself with a promise to make things better.

We both were hugging each other almost for so long. After when I felt that she had slept, I made her to lay on the bed properly where she was holding my shirt tightly. I freed myself from her grip and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Then I laid down beside her and took her one hand kissing her knuckles.

"You may forgive me Ruhi but you can't change the truth. And the truth is that I have abandoned you. Such a poisonous person I am. And I know that this guilt will be eating me in my whole life. It will the best punishment for me. I really deserve it and it's fine. I am ready to bear it. Even I will pray to the God to give the hardest punishment for my misdeed." I sighed at my thought and let myself sink into deep sleep beside her.

****

This story sucks still now. Even after making the changes, I will say the same thing again and again. To the bed readers, I don't even know why you are reading this crap.

I am here to remind you that I have written better things which is not like this crap. I hope that you guys could do better by checking them out instead of reading this crap. Lol

Do vote ,comment.