Eeva was five years old. The TV was on, and she was watching. The happy people were doing the funny thing with the weight-loss device that she never understood. She wanted to ask Mom, but Mom was in the kitchen, with the cocktail machine. It wasn't the right time to ask.

Suddenly, she saw the outside door open. She hadn't heard the key turn in the lock or the handle move, which was a bit odd. A man was there that was closing the door very slowly. Like he was afraid of breaking it.

Eeva was more puzzled than scared. Were we expecting visit? She didn't recognize the man, but adults all looked the same to her. She only knew the one at the shop. She didn't like him at all and hid behind Mom whenever they went there. Maybe this was one of Mom's friends. She was about to call her, but the man was looking at Eeva with a finger resting on his lips. She knew it meant she wasn't supposed to make any noise. He silently tip-toed towards her looking like a fool. This was fun! Eeva sealed her mouth with both hands and tried to muffle her chuckles.

When he passed in front of the kitchen, he slowed down even more, looked quickly, but didn't go in. He kept walking towards her. Soon he was kneeling down in front of her, and he had taken her hands into his. She looked up his face and saw he was crying. But his mouth was smiling so much it made him look really silly. He took her hand up to his lips. She resisted a bit, thinking he might bite, but he just kissed her hand, and then the other one. Then he leaned forward and whispered in her ear. He said: "You cannot tell anyone you saw me. Alright? It is super-secret. You really really must forget me. Alright?" And he backed away and waited for her answer. She nodded frantically. She'd never tell anyone! Ever ever! His smile broadened even more, and he stood up, still walking without a noise. He walked into the kitchen, where Mom was. She heard a big slamming bang. And then, the man came out of the kitchen, walking very quickly, not bothering about making noise. He didn't even look at her. He slammed the door shut behind him.

"Mom?"

Eeva woke up on the doctor's couch. He had pulled a mattress from somewhere and was sleeping on it, all dressed up. She tried to put the blanket on him, but that woke him up. Soon they were in the cafe downstairs, having breakfast.

"I've remembered some things from ten years ago. When my Mom was killed, I actually saw the killer."

The doctor turned his expressionless 'I'm listening' gaze to her.

"He talked to me before doing it. He told me that I couldn't tell anyone about him, that it was a secret. He made me swear. Must have been a hypnotist himself, because it really worked. I forgot all about it. It's only now that..."

"A classic. The suggestion was carved into you by the trauma of seeing your mother dead. Hypnosis is not needed. It's a pretty common symptom of post-traumatic disorder. Victims have no memory, or redacted memories of the events leading to the trauma. Pre-trauma external suggestion would have a lot of influence on a victim. A well-studied disorder. He probably just read about it on the internet."

"Really? Why didn't the cops think of that?"

"Well, they had no reason to doubt your account. The phenomenon is mostly accidental. Few people actually know about it. But it is probably true in your case. It incidentally very well explains the faceless killer from your nightmares."

"So we got it. We know why he ran. We know who killed Mom."

She kept her eyes on the table. He fell silent for a full minute. No doubt giving her his favorite non-expression. Coffee was cooling down. She finally raised a helpless gaze on him. "I don't fucking know what to do!"

Her eyes filled with tears. She'd found the killer. She'd been dreaming of it for so long. If she went to the police, they would find him for sure, wherever he was hiding. She'd go to court, and testify against him. She'd probably have a good case. The doctor would explain them about the post-traumatic-suggestion. He'd get locked up for a long time. Her dad. Fuck!

And what? He'd given her ten years of being an orphan and having nightmares in a world where every other kid had a mom, and a dad, and had dreams that didn't try to kill them.

But if he hadn't... She knew now what life with Mom would have turned out to be. He'd turned a life in hell into a mere purgatory. Maybe not a whole life. Maybe only ten years. Maybe she didn't need to be an orphan anymore... Maybe if she found him and talked to him...

Maybe they could be a family... Maybe they could fake him finding her after fifteen years. Come up with a credible reason. Live together. Have a dad... The police wouldn't even look into it if nobody tipped them off. Could he be persuaded of trying something like that?

The doctor interrupted her thinking: "You don't have to decide anything today. Get some rest. It will all be clearer tomorrow. Or the day after. Or next week. There really is no rush."

"But I can't! I need to talk to him. For real."

"That might not be possible at all. He had 10 years to prepare for this day. If he doesn't want to be found, you might never manage to find him."

Unless she turned him in... The police would definitely have a way to find him. If he left the country, they would at least be able to tell where to. And when they found him, she might be able to cancel everything and he wouldn't go to court. Would that work? Maybe the doctor would know. Maybe he would diagnose her insane for thinking along those lines.

"The police would find him."

"They might... But if they do, he will be prosecuted, whether you're incriminating him or not." Was he reading minds too? "Only by retracting your account, by confessing that you made it up, he might be able to walk out of it free. But then, it is likely that the police would sue you for wasting their time."

"They'd do that?"

"Oh yes. You would have been using them as a free investigation service. They don't take kindly to that."

"A private investigator! That's it!"

That had to be a really silly idea. Did private investigators even exist outside of movies? But the doctor raised his gaze a little, evaluating. He was really awesome for that. He always took her seriously.

"It would be a very expensive option."

"Do you think I have any chance of finding him on my own?"

The doctor was looking hard at the table. Like he was embarrassed or something.

"It is likely enough that he has left the country. Finding him might involve a lot of travel. And, at your age, it would be dangerous to travel alone..."

"You kidding me? I got no problem catching a plane or a train! What other choice do I have? Sit here on my ass and wonder?"

"I really recommend against it. But if you're going to ignore my warning, I promise to help you the best I can from here."

"Thanks." she said. And, the way it felt in her mouth, she knew that it was the first time she was thanking him for anything. That didn't feel right. He had done so much for her. She should be hugging him or something. Though that would feel way awkward. He was as unaffected as ever behind his glasses. She let it roll.

"You don't even know where to head to, do you?" he said.

She smiled. "I soon will. There are some things that he doesn't know I have access to. Hypnosis works over the phone, right?"

THE END

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