"What are you doing here?"

TJ stood from her spot, clearly uncomfortable, as her eyes flashed from mine, to Jeff, and then back to mine.

"I flew her out," Jeff said and clasped his hand on my back. "For you."

Turning my head to the side, I whispered harshly under my breath, "Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Hear her out. Alright?" Jeff took a step back, looking towards TJ. "If either of you need me, I'll be down the hall."

She only nodded in response before she turned her attention towards the floor, crossing her arms over her chest.

The hotel door slammed shut, leaving the two of us alone. The room filled with a heavy silence. TJ didn't appear like her normal self. I don't think I had ever seen her look so... terrified before. Making my way over to the bar area, I found myself craving a strong beverage. Unfortunately, the only item available for consumption was water. And thanks to the hotel staff being under a strict rule to not serve me alcohol, it wasn't easy to obtain at the moment.

I opened the mini-fridge, grabbed two plastic water bottles and made my way back towards her. "Water?"

TJ tilted her head up, her eyes looking towards the offer in my hand.

"It's the only option here."

"Thanks," she said in a whisper.

Taking a seat opposite from where she stood, I realized that was the first time I had heard her speak since entering the room. It wasn't abnormal for her to be quiet. That was always part of her game. However, mixing the quietness with her eerie bundle of nerves was an entire other obstacle to figure out.

I noticed her eyes were focused on the coffee table that was in between us, specifically the stack of magazines. The first two on top of the low pile were random - a men's health fitness and one about cooking. However, underneath those was her cover of Rock Magazine. And by the corner sticking out which showed at least a third of it, I could tell she knew what it was.

"How have you been?"

"Great. Fantastic, really. And you?" I spat sarcastically.

"I've been better."

With my lack of interest to initiate any sort of further pleasantries with her, the room became instantly quiet. TJ looked down at the plastic bottle and picked at the label, while I watched her and tried to figure out what the fuck she was even doing here.

The longer we sat, the more I craved one thing. And since that was highly forbidden for me to have, the next best thing was alcohol. Which, to my unfortunate luck, was now also on the list of banned items.

The burning desire to have a warm shower and go to bed left me wanting to speed up this reunion as fast as possible. "So, is that why you came all the way to New York? Just to ask me how I was doing?"

"No, I..." she paused, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. "I came to talk to you. I wanted to say sorry for leaving - I shouldn't have done that. And-"

"I wanted to forget you that night," I said, cutting her off. "All it took was for you to say that shit to me and make me forget all about it."

It was possible that my interruption had thrown off whatever speech she had come prepared with, as she parted her lips to speak - yet stayed silent.

"I know you told me the first night we were alone together that you would end up driving me insane. But this..." I let a smile of disbelief show, motioning in between us. "This is far fucking worse than I could have ever imagined."

"I don't mean to. I promise, I-"

I scoffed. "You don't mean to? You don't care about me-"

"That's not true."

"No, TJ, it is. You don't care about me. I can't be in this selfish game of yours anymore."

"That's not true," she repeated, "Why would I be here right now if I didn't care about you?"

Leaning forward, I narrowed my eyes slightly. "That's what I'm still trying to figure out. What did Jeff do, hmm? Offer you a shit ton of money in exchange for showing up and making me happy for the rest of the week?"

I knew it was harsh. That was the point. My words would piss her off, make her angry and cause her to curse me out. The longer she stayed here, the more chances she had to say the right thing and make me fall back to her again. I couldn't do that this time - I needed to get off this ride once and for all.

What I didn't expect was for her to appear as visibly upset as she did. Her mouth was agape, her eyes widened and glossed over. I noticed the water that pooled, begging to escape as her bottom lip quivered.

I could even hear it right in her voice when she attempted to snarl out an angry "fuck you" at me. Instead, it left her lips in a coarse tone.

That reaction caused me to snap right out of my angered state. I felt an instant urge to make everything better for her, take away all the pain that I had just inflicted. As she made her way towards the door, I found myself getting to my feet and hurrying after her.

"TJ, wait," I called out. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No, you really shouldn't have." She turned around, hanging her head low to shield her face from my view. "I know I fucked up, okay? But if you really think that's why I would show up-"

"I don't - I'm just angry. One day, we're fine and the next, we're not. It's fucking with my head, TJ. That's not fair to me."

She tilted her head up and wiped away the fallen tears that had stained her cheeks.

"We see each other out and you act like the shit in Seattle never happened. You try and make me jealous all night-"

"Oh, like you weren't doing that too?"

"Yeah, fine, we both were." My jaw clenched. Even the thought of her with that cardboard douche was enough to anger me. "And, then you come back to mine and leave in the middle of the night. So, sorry if I'm a little pissed off to see you right now."

"You can be pissed off at me, I never said you couldn't," she spat. "But, do you really think I didn't realize what you were up to that night? Why you didn't want to kiss me... or how you didn't want to fuck me in your bed so you chose the dining room table instead."

Both of us consented to that night - it wasn't like there was anything I needed to feel guilty about. Yet, hearing how that night played out straight from her lips, left a sinking feeling in my stomach. I treated her the same as the others, and I hated myself for doing that.

"And you know what the worst part was?" She continued, "I enjoyed it. I fought back saying those words the entire time because I know I'm not the type of girl you get those feelings for. I'm the one you're only with until you find that person."

I stepped forward, forcing myself with everything inside me to not reach out and touch her. "Is that really what you think is going to happen?"

"You wouldn't be the first." She swiped her tongue across her bottom lip, averting her eyes from mine. "You would just be the first one that I would hate to lose."

My ability of restraint failed me at that moment, as I reached my hand out to cup her face, and turned her head back towards mine. "TJ, that's not going to happen."

"Of course it is, Carter - that's why I keep pushing you away. I know that if I keep falling in-" she stopped herself with widened eyes. "I mean," she cleared her throat, "I know if this keeps going on, it's going to hurt a fucking whole lot more."

If I keep falling in- falling in what? My chest tightened - I couldn't help but wonder if it was that special four-letter word. Why did she have to catch herself before saying it?!

"You're letting your head destroy something without giving it a chance."

She let a sad smile show and raised her arm towards me, letting her fingers play with the collar of my button-down shirt. "Of course I am," she said quietly, "It's what I do best."

"TJ," I was already regretting the words that I needed to say, "I can't keep doing this with you. I know I can't ask you to trust me and for you to magically do so. But all that I have is my word." I could feel her leaning into my touch as I spoke. "I want to be with you. Only you. You make me a better person - I'm more creative thanks to you. You remind me of what creating music is like again for the pure joy of it. And when you're not around, it really fucking sucks."

"I never knew you were hurting as much as I was."

The corner of my mouth tugged upwards. "You have no idea."

Her hand rested on my shoulder. "When I'm with you, I feel like I can let my guard down. I've never felt like that before."

"What's stopping us then from giving us a real shot?"

"Because..." she paused, "That person you write about in your songs... I don't know her. I don't understand how you could possibly see me like that."

"Like what?"

"Someone to fall in-" she stopped herself once again on that word. Except for this time, she didn't try to add in a quick recovery.

My hand moved from her cheek to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. I leaned closer and whispered, "Because I already have."

"You have?"

I nodded.

And if this entire night could surprise me even more, she nearly took my breath away when she said, "I think I have to."

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Please."

I leaned down, pressing my lips to hers without letting another second pass. The kiss was soft and delicate, yet filled with a rush of passion - it was unlike anything I had experienced from kissing her before. Pulling back, our heavy breathing filled the room as we caught our breath.

TJ closed the gap again, letting that rush spark between us one more time. Her lips parted slightly. I could feel her tongue swipe against mine as she deepened the kiss. TJ's eyes fluttered open, meeting my glance. If my breath hadn't been taken away before, it sure as hell felt like that now.

"Let's go sit back down," I said quietly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Her hand instantly reached for mine as I led her towards the couch. The two of us sat down, sitting much closer than before. The energy had shifted in the room. What was once a heavy, uncomfortable and angry space to be in, was now light, happy, and full of what felt promising.

"Where does this leave us now?" I asked, my fingers intertwining with hers. "Because I can't go back to only being your friend."

"I don't want you to only be my friend."

"Does that make us boyfriend and girlfriend then?"

She wrinkled her nose. "I guess so."

"Do you not want that?"

"No, I do. You're just going to be my first real boyfriend. It makes me..." her voice trailed off.

"Nervous?"

"Yeah - in a good way, though. Butterfly type of nerves," she said. "I feel like there are so many things we have to figure out about us now."

"Like what? What's on your mind?"

"Well, first, I want to take things a bit slow... if that's okay." Before I could ask what she meant, she added, "Isn't there some unwritten three-date rule?"

I nodded.

"Maybe we could try that. If that's okay with you."

"Of course it is."

"And, I do want the boys to know this time. If you're my boyfriend now I want to be able to, you know, kiss you and hold your hand, or whatever."

"So romantic."

"Shut up," she said, turning her head to the side as her cheeks tinted pink. "But, I don't think everyone should know. Like, the public, I mean. They write enough shit as it is, I just want this to be about us. Not us plus their opinions."

"I agree."

"You do?"

"Of course. So much of our life is on display for the public. I like being able to have something that is just for us."

TJ leaned closer. "Makes it more special."

"Exactly," I said before my words were muffled by her lips pressing against mine.

That devious hand of hers was slowly gliding its way up the inside of my thigh. One of her moves that I had begun to know all too well.

I pulled back, earning a whimper of disapproval from her. "I think we better stop before things go too far."

TJ licked her lips. "Why? I won't tell if you don't," she purred.

"Baby, as much as I want to..." My voice trailed off as her hand grazed my crotch. I wrapped my hand around her wrist, pulling her away before she got exactly what she wanted. "Three dates."

Her bottom lip pouted. "Fine. What should we do now then?"

"Watch a movie in bed?" I asked as I got to my feet. Extending my hand to her, I quickly added, "I mean, assuming you want to stay over?"

She nodded, placing her hand in mine. "I think my bag got sent to a room. I don't know where though."

"We can search for it in the morning. I'll give you something to wear."

Leading her through the set of double doors and into the bedroom, I dropped her hand to rummage through one of the drawers and find her a shirt. I handed it to her and grabbed the remote. "Why don't you find something for us to watch? I'm going to grab a quick shower."

I should have timed how fast that shower had been because I swear it could have broken records. I was no longer trying to use it as a way to relax. No, I wanted to get in and out as fast as possible. Surprisingly, I managed to stay upright and not slip with how quickly I was moving along the slippery tiled floor.

I walked out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of sweatpants. TJ had already made herself comfortable in bed, wearing the shirt I had given her and fashioning her pink hair up into a messy bun.

"What's this?"

Her eyes were glued to the screen as she said, "Don't know, really. I think they all live in a house together and fight for the attention of one guy."

"What happened to the movie?" I asked, crawling onto the bed and under the covers.

"This is so much better. These ladies are crazy."

I was amused by her interest in whatever reality show she had found. It was yet another item to add to the list of things that had taken me by surprise tonight.

TJ leaned her head against my chest and kept her eyes on the television screen as she asked, "So, does this count as date number one then?"

I bit back a smile. "Three proper dates, TJ."

"Fine," she said, letting out a quiet yawn.

I looked down, noticing her eyes were already beginning to close.

There wasn't any hint of fear I had about her leaving and not lying beside me in the morning. And that was all due to one thing.

We were falling in love. 

my brain was not in it to win it today. 

this is heavily unedited (i say as if any of my chapters aren't) so my bad <3

give me a break tho its fluff and ew fluff but yay for TARTER? SHIP NAME OMG.