"Is there anything else on your mind before we wrap up today's session?"

"Nothing that I can think of," I replied.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"You know, Carter, you've been my patient for quite some time. I can tell when you're not being honest with me. Your shoulders tense. You ramble more about various, unrelated topics to fill the time. " Doctor Khan gave me a sympathetic smile. "We've gone back to our daily session for a reason. I am here to help. But I can't do that if you're not honest."

"There's nothing else," I lied.

Doctor Khan sighed, reaching for her pen.

I hated when she had to write things down during our sessions. It felt less like a conversation and more like an interview.

"Fine," I said quickly, just as her pen touched the notepad. "There were two things I saw this morning. An article and a tabloid."

"Let's start with the article."

I leaned back in the chair, taking a deep breath to gather my thoughts. "It was a cover story of her and the rest of the band. I didn't read the whole thing, but from what I saw, it was all positive."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Happy," I said honestly, "Then a bit sad. Rock Magazine is a big deal and I can't congratulate her on it. And being reminded of that only makes it harder."

The magazine was everywhere. Even if I wanted to avoid it, I wouldn't get the chance. Every newsstand had the cover out on display, with TJ front and center with the other boys standing beside her. They were being labelled the "revival of rock music for the younger generation" - something I knew she would hate. I would have teased her about it, given I had the chance, and she would have said something along the lines of it being too much pressure and setting them up to fail. I knew they wouldn't - they had far too much talent to let that happen.

With her coy smile and not overly generous responses, she had that interviewer in the palm of her hand, desperate to uncover any detail they could about her. Her confidence in how she handled herself was sexy - even if she never intended it to be. Plus, that one-page spread of her really left nothing-

"Did you reach for your phone?"

Pushing the thoughts of TJ's photos to the back of my mind, I cleared my throat."I almost did. But I stopped myself."

Doctor Khan nodded happily at that. "Good, that's progress. Now, the tabloids?"

I averted my eyes from hers, looking around the sitting area of her hotel room. "It's stupid," I muttered.

"Carter, you can tell me. I'm sure it's not stupid."

"There were some headlines..."

STAR NEWS: WHO IS TJ ROBERTS DATING?

STAR NEWS: TJ ROBERTS OUT WITH MYSTERY MAN!

STAR NEWS: TJ & WESTON - FAN THEORIES GO WILD AFTER THEIR COZY NIGHT OUT!

"I know that since we're not together, I shouldn't be jealous. And I know it's probably bullshit anyway." Shifting uncomfortably in the chair I added, "It's still hard to see and read about it. It's been what... a week? Two weeks? I've lost track of time, to be honest. But, it can't be that long."

"Having emotions of hurt and sadness when seeing something like that is normal, Carter. It is clear that you have a deeply rooted emotional connection and attraction to her," Doctor Khan said. "Those types of emotions can't be turned off in an instant. You also have to remember the business you are in and sadly, salacious and false stories make the best headlines. Maybe what you saw is true. But, maybe it's not. Taking that next step to move forward from someone like her is not any easier when there are stories being printed, which can be reported by any means necessary so the tabloids will sell and make a profit."

Doctor Khan looked down at her notebook. "You've made lots of progress in a short amount of time Carter. Unfortunately, all it really takes to heal from a situation like this... is time."

"There's no magic pill I can take?"

"No, sadly there isn't."

"I probably wouldn't be trusted taking it anyway."

She smiled and shook her head at my dark joke. "Are you looking forward to this week?"

"I guess."

"Carter, your album is out this Friday and that's your reaction?"

I shrugged. "I like being busy. It helps keep my mind focused. I haven't thought much about enjoying it."

Doctor Khan clasped her hands together. "I am giving you a goal to work on," she said. "In the next twenty-four hours, I want you to find something that you enjoyed about today. Write it down. And bring it to our session tomorrow."

It was a simple enough task, yet felt so impossible at the moment. I wasn't quite sure I would be able to find something. I gave the doctor a smile and my promise to try my best, even with the inevitable doubt knocking at my own front door.

Making my way towards the exit, I thanked her once more. Jeff appeared on the other side door. "Ah, perfect timing. Carter, wardrobe is here for a fitting," he told me. "Doctor, can we have a quick word?"

I left the two of them and headed down the hall. From the distance, I thought I heard Doctor Khan say something along the lines of there being improvement and that would ruin it - whatever that was, I couldn't be sure. In all honesty, there was an abundance of things they could have been referring to. I couldn't be sure that they were even talking about me.

Entering my hotel room, I was met by a small team of people who began the fittings for all the outfits I would wear this week. After a few exchanges of conversation, I stood in front of the mirror, waiting as items of clothing went on and off my body, and fabric was pulled and pinned. I was appreciative that Doctor Khan had agreed to join for this promotional week in New York City. Without her here, I wasn't sure if I would have been able to get on the plane in the first place. That morning, after she had left, was rough. It was painful and confusing, yet I completely expected it to happen. I was the one who went in with the mindset of having one final night to get her out of my system. And then, all it took was her saying those stupid words for me to fall right back to her feet.

Expecting her to leave was one thing. Her actually leaving was another. And her blocking my number was a whole other can of worms.

Previously, my visits to Doctor Khan were far more regular. When I first started to see her, it was twice a day. But that was back when there was a mountain of items to unpack on my agenda. Once everyone felt I had been stable enough, it moved to once a day, then three times a week... and then, I stopped going entirely. This entire situation with TJ was only a reminder that I needed to prioritize my visits with Doctor Khan. There was still a laundry list of things I needed to work through.

TJ was only one item on that list.

She certainly wasn't the reason for the list.

I thought about her questions about my career and specifically this week. How the fuck was I going to find something I enjoyed? Of course I wanted to be putting out this album - but I had been playing a character all week. And that role was of a musician who was happy and excited. On the inside, I felt like I was dying. There was nothing worse than having to force a smile for hours on end when all you truly wanted was to crawl into bed for days at a time.

Although he didn't mention it, I was aware Jeff wasn't overly pleased with my attitude. I wasn't negative... I wasn't overly positive either. Maybe it was coming across in my interviews. I genuinely hoped it wasn't, but it was hard to switch it off.

This album was important. Not only for my career but for all of those around me. That's what I had to keep reminding myself of.

However, after a day full of press and interviews, I was still struggling to complete my homework from Doctor Khan.

Was there anything I truly enjoyed?

I looked at Jeff as the doors of the elevator closed. "If you had to pick something that you enjoyed from today, what would it be?"

"I don't know. There are many things that went well today," he said, typing away at his cellphone. "Feedback from the live performance you did has been excellent. You were trending online. Pre-orders have been great - they said you're a shoo-in for that number one spot on the charts." Jeff looked up. "Do none of those answers do it for you?"

I shrugged, looking down at my shoes. "Doctor Khan wants me to pick something that I enjoyed from today."

"Well, I'm sure there will be something."

"You sound so sure about that."

Jeff grinned as the elevator slowed to a stop at the top floor. "I have a surprise for you, and I think it will ensure you ace that little assignment of yours."

I trailed behind him as we got off the elevator and walked down the hall, unsure of what Jeff could possibly have up his sleeve. The only thing I wanted to do right now was sleep. And if this, whatever it was, would mess up that plan, I was about to be one unhappy guy.

Jeff unlocked my hotel room and opened the door. At least it was a comfortable space to be in for the week. There was a main living space, including a small table for eating with the bedroom separated off by a set of double doors. Personally, I enjoyed the private terrace. No one was able to take my picture whenever I wanted to sit outside and have a cigarette - no need for venting one out through a small crack of a window.

I was about to ask what this surprise finally was but was instantly silenced by the sight in front of me. Sitting on the couch, biting into her lip, her eyes instantly widened when she saw me.

"Surprise!" 

hmm sneaky sneaky. wonder what jeff is up to?!