Another night, another event. That was how my past week had gone.

It was standard practice to have a packed schedule with as many appearances as possible before launching an album. Yet, I desperately wanted to be anywhere else but here tonight. The only thing I enjoyed about having a hectic schedule was the fact that it allowed little time for me to be alone with my thoughts. Because my thoughts were consumed by her. Specifically, how she acted towards me outside her house.

I couldn't tell if that look she gave me when I mentioned her songs was one more of anger or sadness. Possibly it was a mix of both, but I wasn't able to pinpoint her reaction. That was never the way you wanted someone you cared for to react. In hindsight, I should have excluded them from the final album. But, those songs were some of my proudest work. When I sat down to write, using her as inspiration made everything easier.

I looked down at my glass. As much as it pained me to admit it, being at this type of event provided the best distraction. Everyone here was famous to some extent; no one was allowed through the doors without an invitation. All photographers and paparazzi were stationed outside, which meant everyone contained within the four walls were able to get away with whatever they pleased, free of consequence. The only thing that mattered was how you were pictured walking in and out.

"How many have you had?" Ryan asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"If Jeff is asking me, this is my second." I raised the glass to my lips, taking a sip.

"And if I'm asking?"

The alcohol provided a satisfying burn to the back of my throat. "Triple it."

"Come on, Carter," Ryan said with a sigh. "You know you need to slow down on those."

"Then let me leave."

Ryan flashed me a sympathetic look. "Jeff wants you here for at least another thirty minutes. I'm sorry, man. You know if I could, I would."

"Yeah," I mumbled, resuming my focus back to my drink.

I knew it was unfair of me to be frustrated with Ryan. He was only doing his job. The fear Jeff had instilled in him was clearly paying off. At least drinking out in public kept me somewhere near my limit. If I were to be at home right now, who knew how much more I would have already had.

Something from the corner of my eye caused my head to turn, pulling me from my thoughts.

When my eyes met hers, I had the sudden urge to slap myself to ensure the alcohol wasn't playing a trick. No - it was her. It had to be. And if somehow God was fucking with me, I'd rather it pretend to be her for this one moment. Music was blasting throughout the venue to entertain the mass crowd of people. And yet all that faded to the background once she entered.

Her pink hair was pulled back, showing off her features. The tiny piece of material she wore as a dress clung to her body as if it were a second skin. I had to be honest with myself - she could show up in anything and still be the most breathtaking one in the room.

TJ drew closer, and for a split second, I thought she was walking right towards me. Instead, she continued walking by with a smirk tugging on the corner of her lips. Her eyes never left mine until she passed, heading towards a group of people I assumed were the ones she had come with.

"Was that her?" Ryan let out a low whistle. "Damn."

"Watch it," I growled, staring him down.

Ryan held up his hands. "Hey, man. I'm just joking around." Turning back to my drink, I heard him add, "Wow, she really did a number on you."

I raised the glass to my lips. "You have no idea."

"You okay?"

I looked over at him and responded with a small nod. Her name had not left my lips since I had returned from her house - and it was clear to everyone else around me to do the same. Was I okay? No. But the last thing I felt like diving into tonight was a conversation about my feelings.

Draining half of my drink gave me the courage to ask something that had been on my mind for a while. "Did Jeff say something to her?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

Ryan was a horrendous liar - that's how I knew his answer was genuine.

"Just wondering."

"Carter, do you really think she's doing this because she wants to? Don't make this any harder than it needs to be."

Maybe it was Hank that said something to her. He might have not liked the idea of TJ getting in a relationship right now and instead wanted her focus to be on the band. Maybe it had something to do with Weston. The two of them were close. What if she - No, I had to stop myself from thinking like that. What they did or didn't do behind closed doors was none of my business. Besides, maybe it was as innocent as her protecting his feelings.

Or, maybe, it was as simple as TJ not being interested in me.

"Hey," Ryan nudged my side. "You alright, man? You've been staring at your glass for a solid two minutes."

"Yeah... thinking about something. That's all."

Ryan nodded, clearly not buying into my attempt at a casual answer. "Right, well, whatever it is you're thinking about... just don't let that thinking turn into you resorting to old habits... okay?"

Old habits.

"I won't," I said, forcing a smile. "How much longer do I need to be here for?"

Ryan looked at his watch. "Twenty minutes."

"Set a timer. I'm going to have a smoke."

I left the bar before Ryan could protest my decision. I could already play out the conversation in my head about his opinions of my habit. At this point, I was either going to be drinking or smoking to take my mind off things - and at least smoking wouldn't result in me waking up tomorrow morning surrounded by my own vomit. Well. Maybe it would - that just depended on how many cancer sticks it took to ease my mind.

Trying to maneuver my way through the crowd to reach the back door was not an easy task in the sea of people. My sense of direction greatly failed me as I bumped into another body.

"Shit," I said, looking down. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, don't worry about me," an oddly familiar female voice said.

As her head turned up, it all clicked. The dark-haired individual was a friend of Eloise, the infamous ex-girlfriend of mine. For the life of me, I couldn't remember the name of the individual in front of me. However, an eerie feeling of annoyance was the one thing I could remember about her.

"Carter Young!" Her voice shrieked with excitement.

There it was.

"It's been so long!" Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me in for a hug. "How have you been? Oh my god, no shut up!" The back of her swatted my chest. "The new album! That's insane! It's coming out soon right?"

"Yeah, in-"

"We have to have a drink to celebrate!"

"Sure, I'm just-" I paused, worried if I gave her my actual target location she might follow me and continue talking, "Going to the bathroom."

"Okay!" Whatever-her-name turned her head. "Jason! You'll never guess who's here!"

I took that as my opportunity to slip away and reach the back door without any further interruptions. The cool night air brought a sense of relief I desperately needed. Leaning against the brick wall, I pulled out the carton from my inside jacket pocket. Aside from having a smoke, the silence was the best thing to come from being out here. There was nothing that could ruin my peace now.

"Hey, stranger."

Except that.

"Pretending I'm not here or something?"

I turned my head to the side, feeling my heart sink as my eyes met hers. It was as if she had emerged out of the darkness with the intention to taunt me by wearing that dress and sporting that smirk. TJ leaned against the wall with her body facing mine. I couldn't grasp the current game she was trying to play with me. As far as I was aware, we were meant to be staying away from one another.

"What are you doing here?"

"Gwen was invited and she brought me along as her date." TJ stepped forward. Her hand went to my chest, playing with the undone button of my dress shirt. "Why? Did seeing me ruin your night?"

"Not at all," I lied, not wanting to give her the satisfaction.

"So, you're saying I made it better?"

I raised the cigarette to my lips. "Actually, I didn't think much about it at all."

"No?" Her finger touched my chest, exposed from the undone buttons, and traced it down. "Well, when I saw you it made my night better."

"Is that so," I murmured. Inhaling a large amount of smoke, I attempted to ignore how her touch and close proximity were causing me to feel.

The sound of the backdoor swinging ​​open saved me from making a terrible decision.

"Hey, man," Ryan called out. "Ready to head out?"

I blocked TJ's body from Ryan's view. Due to the darkened alley we were in, mixed with her small frame, it was easy to do. Turning my head over my shoulder, I called back, "You go. I'm going to stay for a bit."

"Uh... you sure?" Ryan cautiously asked.

"Yeah. Just tell Mike to come back after he drops you home."

I nodded my head slightly to the figure standing out of Ryan's view, knowing the darkness was still covering TJ's identity. And, thankfully, she didn't pull any sudden moves to make herself noticed.

It took him a second or two, but he seemed to finally catch on to what I was pretending to allude to. "Oh!" He cleared his throat. "Oh, sure man. Have a good time."

TJ stood with a smug look on her face, crossing her arms over her chest. "Trying to hide me from Ryan?"

"Yeah. He gave me some advice and if he thinks I'm acting on it, he'll leave me alone for the night."

"And, what was Ryan's good piece of advice?"

I took another drag, slowly releasing the smoke before answering. "The best way to get over someone," I flicked the built-up ash onto the ground, "Is to fuck somebody else."

Hearing that caused the smirk to wipe clean off her face. She straightened her stance as her eyes narrowed. "Well, I know how you have a thing for trying to fuck brunettes in bathrooms."

I was sure she meant for her words to sting, but they only amused me. That's why she was out here. She saw me talking to... god dammit - Eloise's friend. A brunette. TJ was jealous. And, I hated to admit that it was quite a hot look on her.

"Yeah, I guess I do." I leaned closer, raising my hand to lightly grip her chin. My tongue ran across my bottom lip, as my thumb gently grazed hers. "And, I think I'm going to do it again tonight."

Old habits. That was what I was warned not to fall back into tonight. And yet, that was exactly what I planned on doing. Falling back into old habits. 

and i oop-

guess we're about to see what some of the old habits are