monday

TJ: Thanks again for last night

TJ: Maybe you'll get lucky and I'll let you take me out again

tuesday

TJ: You sound pretty good on the radio. Congrats

wednesday

TJ: Guess what! Huge news!!

Missed Call: TJ Roberts

TJ: Call me when u can?

thursday

TJ: Hey idk if you saw what's going on. Can I call you?

friday

Missed Call: TJ Roberts

TJ: I know you're probably busy but I could really use someone to talk to right now.

Missed Call: TJ Roberts

Once the plane had landed and I turned my cellphone on, I mentally cursed at the messages that appeared on my screen. Instead of heading home, as I had told Jeff, I gave the driver a new address.

I knocked on the front door, impatiently waiting for it to open. With each passing second, the guilt only rose higher. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking right now. I only hoped that she would find it in her heart, even if she had to dig deep down, to hear me out. Then again, I was dealing with TJ.

As the door swung open, my heart sank further down when I caught sight of the person standing in front of me.

"Is TJ here?"

Weston crossed his arms over his chest. "Why?"

"Why am I asking if TJ is here?" When my question was met with no response, I added, "Because I'd like to talk to her."

"Funny."

I let a frustrated sigh slip. "Come on, man. Is she here or not?"

"She is."

"Okay, so could you let me in so I can talk to her?"

"I don't think she wants to talk to you right now."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the anger inside that was quickly rising. "I'd rather TJ be the one to tell me that."

"Fine," Weston said, moving to the side. "Good luck then. She's in her room."

I could feel the tension as I stepped inside the house, feeling two pairs of eyes staring at me from the living room. I did my best to ignore it. However, it only made the knot in my stomach tighten. Pausing outside her door, I took a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever I was about to walk into. Before I could talk myself out of it, I knocked on the door.

"Wes, I said I'd be done in 10!" TJ called out from the other side.

I slowly opened the door. TJ hadn't seen me yet, but as soon as she did, the smile on her lips instantly faded.

"What are you doing here?" She snapped.

"I just wanted to talk."

"Funny."

It was the wrong time to think it, but she and Weston were eerily similar.

"Please, TJ, I just want to explain what happened-" I cut myself off, noticing what she was doing. TJ was picking up an item of clothing from a pile on her bed, folding and then placing it inside a duffle bag. "Are you packing?"

"Yup."

"Where are you going?"

"Well, maybe if you had been around this week you would know."

"Look, TJ-"

"Just save it, okay?" TJ angrily tossed the shirt she had just folded back into the bag. "Think you can just show up and I'll put out for you? Get bored of the other girls you were fucking this week?"

I looked at her in disbelief. "Do... do you really think I just showed up to have sex?"

TJ shrugged. "Why not?"

"W-Why not?" I repeated. "I wouldn't do that. I'm not that guy TJ. You have to know I'm not."

"I don't know anything about you," she scoffed. "I thought you weren't the type of guy to disappear for a week. Yet, you did that very easily."

"Jeff thought that I wasn't focusing as much as I should be while we're this close to the deadline. He sent me off to a studio in Utah to finish everything up."

"Do they not have cell reception in Utah?"

"He took away my phone."

"Aww, daddy grounded you," she mocked, pouting her bottom lip.

"I got off the plane thirty minutes ago and turned my phone on in the car for the first time this week. Once I saw your messages I came right here." I paused. "What happened?"

TJ brushed past me and walked towards her dresser. Opening the bottom drawer, she pulled out a stack of magazines. "While you were off on your little vacation, the band got offered a great tour gig. Oh, but then, a story leaked. Then another, then another," she said, picking up the first magazine from the top of the pile, "TJ's wild drug problem." Tossing it against the bed, she picked up the next. "TJ Roberts caught with a white powder." And the next, "Hollywood's newest party girl overdoes it... TJ Roberts, any talent or just a sex object... TJ can't keep herself together on wild nights out..."

As she continued on with all the various covers, I could see her hands begin to shake. My eyes glanced down, looking at the paparazzi shots. There were many of her, yet, I only identified them as being photos of her because of the headlines. The photos themselves barely showed any resemblance to her, with her face barely visible in any shots.

"We almost got kicked off the tour because the coverage was so horrible. Hank had to spend days trying to convince them I wasn't some coked-up liability. Coincidentally while you were gone, my life blew up, and-"

"What do you mean coincidentally while I was away?"

TJ rolled her eyes. "Come on, Carter. You can't be that naive."

"Well, apparently I can." I stepped towards her. "So why don't you explain to me what you're insinuating."

"Why? So we can sit and talk for hours and have some deep discussion? So we can both apologize for whatever the fuck we think will be good enough to end the conversation? So I can tell you more about things that have happened to me? The type of things that only the three guys in the living room know about?" She spat angrily. "And after I tell you these things and we have some big emotional breakthrough between the two of us, how the fuck do I know those won't end up as front-page news?"

"Because you can trust me, TJ."

TJ opened her mouth, as if to speak, yet stayed silent. For the first time since I had entered the room, her eyes appeared softer than the glare she previously sported. She turned her head away, looking down at the pile on her bed. "I need to finish packing," she mumbled.

With trembling hands, TJ resumed folding her clothing. After neatly packing a few items she seemed to give up, opting to instead toss the items into the bag. With hesitant steps, I walked towards her side. I sensed she was fighting the urge to look in my direction, but as my hand reached up to cup her cheek, she finally gave in.

"I'm sorry," I said softly as our eyes met. "I'm sorry all of this happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Utah." I could feel her lean into my touch as I spoke, giving me a slight feeling of hope. "Next time I'll make sure-"

"No." Her eyes squeezed shut as she shook her head.

"No, what?"

"There's no next time, Carter." She pulled away from my touch, instantly diminishing the brief hopeful feeling I had. "When everything was happening you-" she paused, averting her eyes from mine, "You were the one I wanted to talk to."

"You still can."

A knock at the door interrupted. TJ stepped back, creating an evident amount of distance between us, as it opened.

"Hank's here," Weston said, leaning against the door frame.

TJ nodded in response as she quickly shoved more clothes into her bag, forgoing her folding technique altogether.

"Everything done?"

Weston looked in my direction with a glare. I swiftly assumed he was referring to our conversation and not her packing.

"Give us a minute," TJ said, zipping up her bag. When Weston didn't leave, she quickly added, "Just one minute, Wes."

Silence lingered as the two of us were once again left alone, the only sound coming from the zipper of her bag.

"You should go."

"When are you back?"

The look I caught in her eye was enough to answer my own question. She didn't want me gone for now; she meant forever. "I came here to talk... to try and fix things. I understand if you're mad at me... but, why are you doing this?"

"It's not fucking worth it! Okay?"

"What's not?"

"This. You and me." She paused. "You're not worth it." 

hehe oops