saturday, 11:50pm, new york city

"And, we're on commercial break. Let's reset!" A voice from behind the camera crew shouted.

I waved one last time to the crowd before turning to walk off stage, with a pounding heart and sweaty palms still in full effect.

"That was amazing," Jeff exclaimed, "Your first live performance. Amazing."

I let out a shaky breath. "Are you sure it was alright?"

"Alright? It was perfect!" His eyes went to his phone, "Everyone is loving it online. We are going to have a great cycle of press tomorrow morning."

I was certain Jeff was telling the truth. Had anything actually gone wrong, I was sure he would find some way to cut the live television broadcast. Yet, I still worried that the performance was not as good as everyone around me was making it seem.

Ryan appeared by my side as we walked into the dressing room and handed me my phone. The worrying thoughts began to disappear as I opened my text message notification.

TJ:

Nice job

TJ:

I like you in leather

Carter:

You watched?

TJ:

Of course I did

TJ:

You sounded good

TJ:

Looked pretty good too

sunday, 9:35pm, los angeles

"The guys were talking about having a party when we're back."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," TJ whispered, "So... if you're around, maybe you could stop by."

sunday, 10:11pm, new york city

Silas:

Dude big party Friday night at the house!

Silas:

See ya there?

wednesday, 6:00pm, los angeles

"Hey, I have, like, a minute to talk before one of the boys busts down the door," TJ whispered from the other end of the call.

I couldn't help but smile hearing her voice. "Where are you?"

"Hiding in the bathroom. But don't worry," her voice dropped to that seductive tone I had grown to know so well, "I could still say some naughty things to you without them hearing."

"Well, as much as I would love that, I'm actually in the studio right now. And, I can't afford to get distracted by you."

TJ let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine, fine... your loss. But, when I'm home in two days-" A loud banging noise interrupted. "What?!" I could hear her yell, presumably to whoever was on the other side of the bathroom door. "Two minutes, asshole!" There was another pause before she spoke again, "God they're so annoying sometimes," she whispered, "Guess my minute is up. I should probably go."

"Alright," I attempted to hide my disappointment to the best of my ability, "Just make it back in one piece. Don't kill them."

"I'll do my best not to." Another beat of silence, "I.. uh..." Her voice trailed off.

"Yeah?"

"I.. never mind. I'll just see you when I'm back."

And with that, TJ ended the call, leaving me slightly confused with how the encounter had abruptly ended.

friday, 10:45pm, los angeles

The darkness of the night sky matched that of the inside of the house as I walked through the open doors. Music loudly played through the speakers, easily consuming the space with its sound. There were more people here than I had expected, given Silas had texted saying they were having a small get-together to celebrate the release of their music video. My eyes scanned the crowd as I moved further into the house, slightly disappointed to not see the vibrant pink hair I was looking for.

"Looking for someone?"

I turned my head to the side, hearing the female voice. I tried to hide my disappointment as it was not who I was hoping for.

"Just... uh... for a friend," I said to the brunette, forcing a smile.

"Well," she stepped forward, placing her hand on my shoulder, "We could get a drink and then I could help you look."

"Carter!"

I looked forward, thankful to see Silas waving me over to where he was.

"Maybe if I'm still looking later, I'll take you up on that," I said out of pure politeness to the nameless woman, stepping out of her reach.

I made my way towards Silas, who was making conversation with Patrick who stood next to him. I spotted Weston sitting on the couch, focused on rolling a joint. TJ, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't unusual for her to be missing. It seemed to be something I was getting used to.

"Glad you could make it, man!" Silas greeted, handing me a red solo cup.

Weston peered up from his finished work with a suspicious look in his eyes, "Yeah, surprised you would choose coming here over some fancy snobby event."

"I think we all know why," Patrick grinned from ear to ear as he swung his arm over my shoulder, "Cause we throw great fucking parties."

"Right," I said, slightly relieved, as I took a long sip from my cup, feeling the instant burn as it travelled down my throat, "So, how was the rest of your promo work?"

"Pretty cool, actually," Silas rested against the armrest, taking the joint from Weston, "The best part was when we hotboxed the bus."

Patrick let out a roar of laughter, "Holy shit, that was fucking awesome. TJ greened out so hard."

The sound of their conversation started to fade into the music as I began to get lost in my thoughts. I continued to sneak glances around the room, as I did my best to appear as if I was listening to their story, laughing and cracking a smile as one of them did. It was hard to focus when I was doing my best to find her, something that I would assume to be easier given the vibrant colour of her hair.

"Carter?" Silas's voice brought back my attention.

"Sorry?"

"I asked if you needed another drink," he pointed to my cup, which had become empty without me realizing.

I cleared my throat, "Oh, yeah," I said, catching another look from Weston as I followed Silas towards the kitchen.

"So how was New York for you, man?" Silas asked as we pushed our way through the crowd.

"It was busy!" I replied, wanting to keep the details as minimal as possible.

"Yeah, I get that. It's too bad we couldn't all hang out more! Could've really partied it up there!"

An endless number of bottles covered the countertop. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and filled my cup. I took a sip and turned to look, realizing how small the space was with the number of people in it. People were standing practically pushed up against one another. I wondered if they actually knew who all these people were. I couldn't remember the last time I was at a house party with anyone who was a stranger to the host. Or, who at least didn't sign an NDA.

Silas started up a conversation with a girl next to him. I realized the brunette from earlier was there too. I felt like an ass for not wanting to talk to her, responding vaguely to her questions. I was here for one person. And one person only.

That's when I saw her. As soon as my eyes caught sight of her, I could feel my heart begin to race. Shit. She looked beautiful, standing across the room from me with a smile. If only she knew what she was doing to me right now. I wanted to go up to her. I didn't know if I could or if it was allowed. I wasn't sure how we were going about things in public. Normally I'd assume a space like this would be okay. However, she didn't want her bandmates to know. And standing beside Silas wasn't a good place to test her reaction.

That feeling of warmth that was bubbling inside burst once I realized who she was standing beside. Brandon's arm was wrapped tightly around her waist. He leaned down to whisper something in her ear. TJ nodded and looked straight ahead, her smile instantly fading as her eyes locked onto mine. Brandon grabbed hold of her hand, and before I knew it, TJ had disappeared with him.

I drained the rest of my drink. "Bathroom?" I asked Silas.

"Make a left at the hallway and go straight down."

I excused myself from Silas and the brunette and pushed my way back through the crowd. Once I reached the bathroom, I locked myself in. The music was drowned out and I could process my thoughts more clearly. Well, as clearly as I could with the amount of alcohol I had consumed in such a short amount of time.

I took my phone out of my pocket and checked my messages.

Ryan:

Jeff's been asking where you are

Ryan:

I told him you're not feeling well so he rescheduled your meeting to tmrw morning at 9AM

Ryan:

So don't do anything stupid tonight & don't be late tmrw... ok???

I could feel something inside me snap. I was mad at myself. Mad for being foolish enough to think I was ever going to get somewhere with TJ other than meaningless sex. Every time I felt like I was getting closer to knowing her, to understanding how she operates, I felt like I was pulled ten steps backwards. Maybe the best thing for me to do would be to leave. What was the point of staying? I came for one thing. That one thing decided that her sleaze of an ex-boyfriend was better company. So what was my purpose?

I needed to leave.

I opened the bathroom door and made my way down the hall. Hopefully, I would be able to sneak out unnoticed. I felt like enough distractions were surrounding the place to make that a strong possibility.

"Hey!" A familiar voice called out from behind, grabbing my arm. "Where are you going?" TJ smiled as I turned around. "Leaving so soon?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Don't feel like sticking around."

"Well, before you go," TJ began to pull me towards a room, "Why don't I try to convince you to stay a little longer?"

I didn't know why I wasn't putting up a fight. Seconds ago I was determined to leave not just this party, but also my feelings for her. And now I was in what I presumed was a bedroom with TJ kissing my neck.

"TJ..."

Her lips moved to my ear, "Yes?" she whispered, her hands moving towards my belt.

I needed her to stop, but she knew how to make me weak. Just as I thought I was about to give in, my mind flashed to the kitchen. How it felt when I spotted her, how much it hurt when she walked off with him. And somehow thinking about that was enough for the strength built up within me. My hands grabbed hold of her wrists, stopping her from undoing my belt.

"What is it?"

"I can't do this," I said, releasing her from my grip and taking a step back to create some much needed distance.

"Can't do what?"

"This," I motioned between us, "Come on, you really think I'm going to have sex with you after I just watched you walk off with Brandon?"

The playful look she sported dropped as soon as I said his name. "That was nothing."

"Yeah, sure looked like nothing." My tone was harsher than I meant it to be.

"I said it was nothing."

I couldn't contain the anger that had been building inside me any longer, "What the hell were you doing with him then?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Why do you care?"

I scoffed, "Is that a joke?"

"No," she said, taking a step towards me, "Why do you care?"

"Come on." I started to let my frustration show. "You know why."

"Do I?" She cocked her head to the side, "It's not like we're together. So why does it matter who I was just with? Or what I was doing?" She paused. "Unless... you really think of me as the type of girl to fuck my ex and then try to fuck you."

"Don't twist my words."

TJ leaned forward. "But, that's what you meant, right?" her voice softly whispered, "For all you know, we could've just been talking about the weather or about New York. Or maybe," her lips moved to my ear, "I told him about that one move we tried up against the hotel wall. You know, the one that knocked the painting off," her breath sent a chill down my spine, "And, you know me, I just can't help myself so I tried it out with him."

As she leaned back, the anger rising inside tinted my vision red. I did my best to hold it in, pushing it far down. I wasn't sure how much longer I'd last.

"Don't worry," she continued, her lips twisting into her famous smirk, "He didn't make me cum like you did."

"Dammit, TJ!" My hand made contact with the wall out of frustration. I had completely lost all self-control. I took slow steps away from her, running my hand across my face, "I'm done," I whispered, looking back to her.

"Done?"

"I can't do this anymore."

"But, we only just started playing."

That look of hers, the one that usually made my knees want to cave in, appeared. Except this time, I didn't find myself powerless.

"I guess we're different then because I don't view this as a game." I walked towards the door and reached for the handle, "So it looks like you'll be playing by yourself."

I caught one last glance at her before leaving the room and heading back down the hallway.

"Find your friend?"

I turned my head to the sound of the voice. The brunette from earlier pulled away from her friends and walked towards my side.

"Yeah... I did," I said. I glanced over my shoulder, my heart sinking as I caught sight of Brandon and TJ, quietly talking at the end of the hallway. I turned my attention back to the female in front of me, "You still up for that drink?" 

i worked very hard on resizing that gif at the top ... so I hope you enjoy looking at it as much as I do 

(ps. that is the 'leather outfit' TJ liked) ... (girl got taste)

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