~ ~ Beth ~ ~

I could feel Chris's eyes on me as I shut the door and clicked my belt in place. His words had my mind spinning like a windmill in a tornado.

Not to mention my heart in a tail-spin.

Was he serious—and was that a real-life proposal?

I shook my head slightly, ignoring the tightening in my chest or the way my stomach jumped around like a bunch of jittery bullfrogs in a pond.

However, I didn't think he was serious. It was a knee-jerk reaction to what I'd said about our relationship only ever being physical. Which, in my case, had never been true.

But what about that other thing he said? I won't let you take forever because that belongs to me.

Oh my god. That line was straight out of a romance novel, and I nearly swooned right there. But this wasn't a book and real life? It had a reputation for serving up more plot twists than a soap opera on speed. Let's face it, in reality, you're more likely to get stuck with soggy fries than a fairytale ending.

"Beth?"

Huh? I turned my head. "Sorry, Ryan, I didn't catch that."

"I said is everything alright?"

My face flushed. "Oh, yeah." I nodded, exaggerating my words. "Everything's fine."

He didn't look convinced but asked. "Do you still want to catch a movie?"

"Ah-huh."

~ ~

Arriving at the movie theatre we made our way to the ticket booth. "Ladies choice," said Ryan.

I stared up at the choices biting on my lower lip. They were running a special from the 80's: the Evil Dead and Evil Dead II.

I shuddered. "Looks like we have brains and bad haircuts tonight."

"Nah. I don't trust anything made before 2000," said Ryan, breaking into a laugh.

Phew that was a relief. "Good. I don't like anything with lots of blood."

He looked at me for a while, then said. "If you'd rather do something else, there's a great ice cream place just round the corner."

Ice cream sounded good right now. It was one of my go-to comfort foods, and I needed it, especially after talking to Chris. "Would you mind? I could eat some strawberry with caramel and hot fudge right 'bout now."

His smile stretched wider. "Sounds good." He flicked his head. "C'mon."

As we left the movie theatre the welcome fresh air washed over me. Hot summer nights were coming and I plucked the rubber band from around my wrist and tied my hair up. We picked up the pace and it wasn't long before we arrived at Miss Daisy's Ice-Cream Parlour and after ordering we sat in a booth with our drinks.

"Hmm," I hummed, sucking my milkshake through a straw.

"How's Lana, I've not seen her around?" asked Ryan

Letting the straw slip from my lips. "Oh, she's okay. We're going shopping this weekend." I sighed. "For shoes," adding with a hint of exasperation. "Because she keeps telling me a girl can never have too many!" My bestie had more shoes than a politician had excuses.

Ryan went quiet as if his mind was busy churning something over, then asked, "Does she have a boyfriend?"

"Nope." I hoped Lana would find someone nice, but she insisted she was a magnet for bad boys and what she called 'the crazies', who were only interested in what was between her legs.

I took another sip of my milkshake. "The last guy she dated was nothing to write home about, so she said she was taking a break from them." I suspected working in a bar didn't help with meeting nice guys.

Ryan now looked thoughtful as he picked up his drink. "So that's what she likes doing on her days off—shopping?"

I grinned. "The mall is her church."

"Surely she must like something besides shopping? Hobbies?"

"Oh, yeah. She loves horses." I was gonna ask Riley-Jo if she needed any help... before everything blew up at Chris's and I moved back home.

But then it struck me odd-why was Ryan asking lots of questions about my best friend when he could just ask her himself?

"Does she have her own horse?"

I shook my head, grinning. "Not yet and if she keeps buying shoes, then she never will."

"Here we go," interrupted a pretty server. "Strawberry with hot fudge and Vanilla with Pistachios." She slipped our bowls in front of us. "Can I get you anything else?"

"Not for me," I smiled and Ryan thanked her.

I took my first spoonful and hummed. Heaven. Sadly though, it did nothing to distract me from my Chris thoughts. At least if I was gonna drive myself crazy, then at least I had some amazing ice cream to keep me company... and Ryan too of course.

Ryan and I chatted after we'd finished our ice cream, and when I wasn't letting Chris occupy my thoughts, it was nice being here with him. He told me how he wanted to open up his own restaurant as well as fix up his grandfather's house, which he'd just inherited. I'd learned more about him in the last two hours than all the years I'd known him.

After settling the bill, which Ryan insisted on paying, we made our way back to his car. I did my best to listen but his voice became background noise to my swirling thoughts. You didn't need to have a degree in mathematics to figure out who was on my mind and now tomorrow was front and centre in my thoughts too, overshadowing the pleasant evening I'd just had with Ryan.

"Beth?"

I snapped out of it with guilt creeping in at my distraction. "What? Oh, sorry, I was miles away." I sighed inwardly, frustrated with myself.

Here I was, spending time with a genuinely good guy-someone who was not only sweet and kind but good-looking and not to mention attentive and caring-and yet my mind kept drifting back to Chris, like an old, stubborn habit.

How terrible was I?

Here was Ryan, someone any girl would be lucky to be with, and yet I couldn't shake the thoughts of another man.

But why wasn't I feeling that spark with Ryan?

Was there something wrong with me?

Had Chris ruined me for any other man?

And out of nowhere, I had a stupid idea. I stopped walking and grabbed Ryan to stop him. Twisting him around, I rose on my toes and pressed my lips to his firm ones that tasted of vanilla.

Ryan froze.

I froze.

I dropped back to my feet and stepped back. Mortified, for lack of a better word. "Oh, god. I'm sorry, Ryan."

He held up his hand. "Heck no. Don't be. It's just..."

He looked awkward, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me?" I knew exactly what had come over me. Stupidity, that's what.

Ryan dragged a hand roughly through his hair. "I like Lana..." he blurted out. "I thought if I got to know more about her from you......" he paused, looking sheepish. "I know it's a dick move and I'm sorry, Beth."

Oh. Ooh. Ooooh. And I started to smile and then laugh.

His head pulled back at my outburst. "What's funny? Did I miss something?"

My laughter died off and I shook my head holding up my hands. "No. And I'm sorry again for kissing you. But I had this crazy idea with you being good-lookin' and..." I waved my hand over him like that should explain it. "And all this..." My cheeks were now burning. I really should stop talking.

"I'm not following," he said.

Of course he wasn't. "This is gonna sound crazy, but I thought there might be something wrong with me because I'm not into you—that way."

"And you thought a kiss would prove that?"

Yeah, hearing him say it like that made me look and sound even crazier.

I nodded and he continued. "And you felt absolutely nothing?"

My shoulders hugged my ears, and I sucked in sharply through clenched teeth. "Nope. Nothing."

He relaxed and smiled. "Good. Me too."

Phew. "...So you like Lana, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Why haven't you asked her out? She thinks you're sweet on me."

A blush fired across his cheeks. "I guess she's always seemed so... different, carefree, I dunno. Out of my League somehow."

Well, this I could fix. I lifted my phone and hit the call button.

"What are you doing?" he asked, now looking a little worried.

I held up my finger. "Hey," I said when she answered. "I'm passing you over to Ryan; he's gonna ask you something, and before you answer I want you to remember all the times you told me the good guys aren't interested in you." She tried to interrupt but I cut her off. "I have a good feeling about this, Lana. Trust me."

I held out my phone, and he hesitantly took it from me. I then turned and carried on walking to his parked car. I had a good feeling Lana would say yes. Or at least I hoped she would.

Waiting by his car, I watched him coming toward me. He was smiling. That had to be a good sign, right? He held out my phone but didn't say a word. "Well?"   I poked. "Don't keep me in suspenders!"

His cheeks dimpled. "We're going out tomorrow." He was full-on grinning now. "Thanks, Beth."

I shrugged. "Just call me Cupid."

~ ~

I pulled the key out of the ignition. I was here. Leaning forward a little I peered at Chris's house through the windscreen.

Was this a stupid idea?

No. You're spending time with Nix, I told myself. And Chris wasn't even gonna be around.

I grabbed my bag from the seat next to me and climbed out of my truck. I hadn't even knocked on the door when it opened to reveal Chris standing there holding Nix.

My heart sang when Nix's face lit up. I dropped my bag. "Come to me," I unhooked him from Chris's arms and swung him into mine. He squirmed in my grip and his chubby hands found my cheeks squishing them together. I stuck my tongue out, rolling my eyes dramatically. Nix giggled.

"He's missed you," said Chris.

"I've missed you more..." I said to Nix then lifted my eyes to Chris and that's when I noticed something. "Did I get the wrong time? You don't look ready to go anywhere."

He was wearing shorts and a pale blue tee-shirt and his feet were bare. Not that he didn't look nice or anything.

Chris didn't answer as he dipped and swiped my bag from beside my feet. "Come in." He moved to the side and I stepped inside. "You want a drink?" he asked walking past me and I followed him through to his kitchen.

"Drink, Beth?" he repeated.

"No. I'm good thank you." I bounced Nix on my hip. "You can go get ready. You don't need to show me where anything is."

His face screwed up. "Yeah... about that."

"About what?"

His mouth twitched and I saw a glitter of amusement in his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

My eyes widened. "You're not? But I thought—"

He cut in. "I lied Beth."

A flash of annoyance had me huffing a breath through my nose.

Chris carried on "I knew you wouldn't agree to come if you thought I was here." It shouldn't have shocked me. "And rightly or wrongly, I used my son to get you here." He hissed through his teeth. "I would tell you I'm sorry, but that would also be a lie."

I tried to look offended. "That's not seeing a good example to your son."

He relaxed a little. "No, but I think he's still young enough not to pick up any of my bad habits and when he's older I'm hoping I'll be a better man, for him—" he paused, "—and for you."

I could almost taste his hope and longing, with a dash of self-doubt.

Chris held up his hands. "Okay, look. I know what I did was pretty low, but just spend the day with me. With us. Relax. And if you want we can talk, but only if you want to."

My eyes narrowed. "Talk 'bout what?"

He shrugged. "Us."

"Us?" I hiked my chin up. "What's changed from yesterday when you said you would watch me date other guys?"

"I lied about that too."

My body flushed. Don't ask me why.

"Lyin' is becoming a habit for you."

"Just give me today. And I promise if, at the end of the day, your heart is still set on moving on." He slowly nodded. "Then I'll respect that. I'll back off."

I pretended to think, pursing my lips to the side and glancing upward, but I'd already made up my mind, I just wanted him to sweat it out a little. "I guess I could stay."

Chris straightened, smiling broadly. "Thank you... so what do you want to do?"

"I brought my swimwear with me. I know how much Nix loves the water."

"Great idea," Chris exclaimed, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. "I got Nix these new armband floaties with a waistband and I wanted to try them out."

"Sounds good. Is it okay if I go upstairs to change?"

"Yeah. Your bedroom is just as you left it," he said "Or you can use mine..."

Chris plucked Nix from my arms and I headed upstairs. I paused at the top of the stairs staring at the partially open door to Chris's bedroom. I couldn't help but wonder if he had slept with any other women since... I quickly dismissed that thought. I wasn't going there, that, and it wasn't any of my business anyway.

Technically, he was a free man to do as he pleased.

Liar... the small voice whispered.

Ten minutes later I was back downstairs to find Chris already stripped down to his swim shorts and sitting on the edge of the pool with Nix on his lap and the lower half of his legs in the water. He was concentrating as he adjusted Nix floaties. My eyes did a quick once over and I gulped at the sight of the fading bruising on his chest, a reminder of the cruelty he suffered at the hands of my deranged father... a man still on the loose.

However, it didn't take away any of his allure. He was sinfully beautiful to me. Always would be.

Not that it mattered to me anymore.

Yeah, keep lying to yourself.

Chris's head lifted and what I saw in his troubled eyes did matter. It mattered too much to ignore. Slowly, he dragged his gaze over my body, from my toes to my breasts. His attention paused there for a moment, and when he finally met my eyes, I was scorched by the heat that crackled in those russet depths.

Oh, Lord.

No man had ever looked at me like that, as if he was in pain, about to die and I was the cure.

That crazy muscle in my chest squeezed and I knew I wasn't strong enough to deal with this. I wasn't confident enough to stand here and deny it.

Breaking the spell, Chris said, "You ready?" I kept my eyes firmly on Nix as I croaked out a noise. "It's good you're getting him used to the water this early on."

Chris slipped off the side into the water at the shallow end and Nix happily splashed around. "Look, it works!" He released his hold and Nix was floating without Chris holding him.

I just stayed where I was and watched them, the sight of it warming me. He's a great dad and my heart was a mixture of pinches and pangs, of hurt and need.

Chris dipped his head under the water and came up in front of Nix and pulled a face making Nix laugh loudly and splash some more.

"C'mon in," said Chris brushing back the wet strands of his dark hair. "I could use the help."

He didn't need the help. He had it under control "I think you're doin' just fine without me." I didn't trust myself to be close to him yet so I hastily walked around the pool to the deep end and jumped in. It was clumsy. There was nothing sexy or smooth about it and I came up, spitting and spluttering water.

At least the cold shock was exactly what I needed.

What I didn't need was the strong arm coming around my waist, dragging me against a warm, hard body, and the deep voice that pressed soft words to my ear, words full of feeling and overflowing with meaning.

"I got you, Beth."

How had he got there that fast? I coughed. "I'm fine. Thank you." I wriggled free and a rumble vibrated through his chest, but he obliged, allowing me to put distance between us. Nix floated right in front of me, excited that I'd joined the party.

Chris swam to move behind Nix. "I can't believe we'll be celebrating his first birthday soon."

"Bet you never thought you'd have this?" I reached for Nix's hands and pulled him to me. "A son, I mean."

"Oh, yeah. I'll admit to not knowing how I was going to cope with being a dad when he first arrived, but now, I realise being a dad is one of those things you can't know or appreciate until it happens."

Very true.

We spent the next half hour playing with Nix until it was time for dinner. Chris got him out and dried him off before getting his dinner ready. I was impressed to see that he wasn't feeding him out of a jar. "You made this?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "It's the last of what you made and froze, but Riley's given me a load of recipes which she said are simple for me to try."

I still had the towel wrapped around me. "I'll go and change."

Dressed and back downstairs, Chris and Nix were outside in the backyard. Chris had fired up the grill and Nix was sitting up in his play-pen with a bottle in his mouth and a wooden block in his hand.

"I thought we'd have some burgers?"

I walked over. "Sounds good. Do you want me to do anything?"

"No. Relax. We're spoiling you." He paused. "Actually I made some potato salad if you want to grab it from inside. I nodded and went to get it. Lunch wasn't as awkward as I'd expected and as we finished eating Chris took Nix upstairs for his nap time.

Whilst he was doing that I started on the clean-up, although Chris had said he would deal with it when he got back, but I couldn't just sit around and set about rinsing the plates and filling the dishwasher.

Hearing him come downstairs, I dried my hands on the hand towel. He was now dressed in different shorts... but nothing else, and it wasn't long before I was staring at his torso with my mind spinning in all directions, well not all directions. Just one.

Leaning up against the countertop I was trying to play it casual and pretend he didn't affect me—at all. "I've wrapped the leftovers and put them in the refrigerator."

"Thanks," he smiled. "But you didn't have to do that."

Chris walked toward me with something in his eyes, it was some kind of urgency, like if he blinked I might just vanish.

Coming closer, I would have backed up if I had anywhere to go and now practically toe-to-toe my heart kicked into high gear. And it was pointless to even try and think I wasn't still so undeniably attracted to him. His heat bared down on me and my fingers tangled themselves around the hand towel I was still gripping onto.

"Here," he said, tugging it gently from my hands. He put it on the side and I watched him do it. His hand came up and gently turned my head back toward him.

"Give me another chance, Beth. Let me spend the next how many years showing you. Being that man who will fight for you—always."

Oh my god.

I couldn't think... or speak with him this close. I gulped and wet my lower lip as his natural masculine scent had my body clenching remembering what it was like having his hands on me.

Chris stared at my mouth and breathed deeply. "I swear I won't let you down again."

A short silence and I flattened my hands on his chest-right over his heart. It was beating just as fast if not faster than mine.

Should I push him away?

He'd said if I told him no, today, then he would step back. Let me move on.

Chris slowly lifted my hand from him and kissed my fingers. "I miss you like you wouldn't understand."

I did understand what it felt like to miss someone, miss him. I wanted him just as much as I ever did, I just didn't want to get my heart hurt again. "Can I trust you with my heart, Chris?"

He shifted his face a little closer. "All in the name of keeping your heart safe, I would lie, steal, murder, cheat and destroy everything else in my way."

I sucked on sharply, Could a girl ask for more than that? "Then show me," I uttered the words before my mind had a chance to tell me I was being reckless.

My name was a soft exhale as his hand moved through my hair and clutched the back of my head. He captured my mouth in a kiss that ignored logic and reasoning. And with one hand in my hair and the other now moving to hold my hip, he folded me into his heat and set fire to my world.

The kiss started achingly sweet. Lips gliding and mouths opening. Our tongues touched, flattened together, and then went wild. My hands moved to his shoulders, pushing him away and then wrenching him closer before rising on my tip toes to deepen the kiss.

We moved together almost angrily, frantically, not in searching, but in remembrance. I wanted to spend no matter how many years, the best years of my life kissing the hell out of this man. Wanting to learn all his techniques and turn-ons.

I clung to his mouth, his body, in the perfection of our connection, wanting more, needing him closer.

His groan vibrated through me as his hands moved to my butt, yanking me hard against him but still pressing me into the countertop behind me. My fingers wandered over his neck and face.

Kissing, panting, and fusing, we were like a stolen moment. A desperate embrace. Our twin heartbeats falling deeper into this... into us.

As our kiss came to a natural end, the air around us seemed to thrum with heat and breathing heavily, he touched his brow to mine, his mouth slightly open at the edge of my vision. I brought my finger up and touched his pouty bottom lip.

"That was better than I remembered." His tongue swiped the tip of my finger. "Don't know how that's possible."

"Yeah." I dropped my palm to his chest again.

"Are you mine, Beth?" he murmured.

I didn't answer right away but a tiny nod gave him my answer.

But it wasn't enough for Chris. "Is that a yes?"

I breathed as deeply as my body would allow and spoke from my heart which had never been in doubt that this was the man I wanted. "Yeah. It's a yes, Chris." And he wrapped his arms around me tightly and lifted me from my feet.

"Can I tell you now?"

I had a pretty damn good idea of what he wanted to tell me and hummed against the rough skin of his neck and breathed in the scent that I loved so much.

"I love you, Bethany Rogers."

My smile was pure happiness. "I love you, too, Chris. So so much."