So it's been more than a year and you know how people on here would vanish for some time and then come back and be like WOW MY LIFE IS COMING INTO PLACE I HAVE THE PIECES I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO AND IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME?

But it actually just sounds like everything is going well when you don't actually have a clue which direction your life is going?

That's exactly what I'm going to do now.

GOOD MORNING OR AFTERNOON OR NIGHT TO EVERYONE WHO STILL READS THIS.

My life has been stagnant because of the whole virus situation. I hope all of you are safe and healthy when you're reading this. As of today, my country opened up a lot more and people are allowed to meet each other again. Did I go and do that? Nope, I had work and I'm scared HAHA.

Anyway I was reading some of my drafts in this book/diary and found this from almost a year ago. I totally forgot about it.

Oh boy.

This was how it went down in the dream which I actually did not remember until I read this.

"Finally he had to go, and I was all chill with that because wow he already spent so much time with me. Then (this is my favourite part) he came in for a hug, or so I thought. I hugged him back, and then he kissed me on the forehead."

By the way, the guy in the dream was Tom Holland, but he wasn't the guy that gave me my first kiss.

You read that right.

It's a complicated relationship but hey, after spending almost two decades alive, I finally kissed someone and it was good. Like the kissing part, the part building up was uh...it went like this. We were just cuddling in bed and he looked to me and asked if I wanted to kiss, I just stared at him knowing deep down I wanted to but I just couldn't say it, in the end I responded with I didn't know how, but we did it anyway. I broke off because I ran out of breath HAHA. But we did it again anyway and I got better at breathing. Went on for quite some time. Yep. That was my first experience kissing someone and after that we went into lockdown so can you imagine how much I miss kissing him? (I dreamt of him kissing my forehead the other day and it was nice)

Ok back to the part where I make everyone believe I have my life set when I actually don't.

I graduated last year, entering university this year, yay! I've always taken a liking for Science so I've decided to go for the pharmacy course. Also, I'm now working at a student care centre and while the kids can sometimes be a pain in the butt, they're still cute and I know a teacher shouldn't have favourites but I can't help it. I have favourites.

While I'm quite excited about learning pharmacy stuff in university, I'm also pretty afraid of every introvert's fear: SOCIALISING. Like, how does one make friends? How does one keep a conversation going? And most importantly, what the heck is university?! Also how expensive is it oh gosh. And also, with all this virus things, how are things going to be like? And I still haven't gotten my driving license because of lockdown and I'm pretty sure I already forgot how to drive. Man this year is just...

Oh and I had an interview for a scholarship yesterday which I've taken before with another university and failed it. I got back the results and HAHAHA guess who failed it again.

Yeah see just because you chose a university course it doesn't make your life settled. Your life is probably just beginning.

Ah well, let's just see how things go.

Hope you guys are doing well and all and hey, I would love to know what you've been up to if you're willing to share!

Have a nice day/night!

Oh yeah what happened to Wattpad again why are the buttons messed up?