I find myself wanting to be this blue haired, electric guitar plying, pop princess.The girl who sneaks out of the house to go to a party, and doesn't care about her grades or future. I want to be this girl I imagine who does what she wants-- when she wants, but is that me? Am I whoever I want to be? 

I also really want to be the girl who wears flowy yellow sundresses in the spring, and wears her hair down constantly, and spreads kindness through her every word or every facial expression. She loves hard and doesn't hold many grudges, and she smiles through all the pain; she doesn't let the pain harden her.

I'd also like to be the girl everyone wants to be or be with. I want to capture their attention as I walk by, not paying them any of mine. Who has a daily uniform for wearing makeup and heels and skirts and tight dresses. The one who could be going through hell, but still smiles. The extroverted girl who isn't afraid of the limelight, and actually wants it. 

In reality, I find myself being the girl who wears makeup and dresses, but hides away in her room to write or read. Who wears whatever she wants and tries to shake off the chains of expectations. The girl who listens to indie and metal and pop and nearly every kind of music. The girl who tries to be as kind as possible, but can be very mean. The girl that feels less stressed when everything is organized. Does that just mean I'm just not a cliché?