In this world we live in, as a teenager, the hope is to have enough money to scrape by. In the news we hear about school shootings, potential war, and gassing innocent people. Who would expect us to dream big? We live in a world so negatively impacted, it might be so devastated by the time we grow up, there might not be much to of an earth to live on.

I just wish we could dream. Adults say, "dream big" or "work hard and you can achieve your dream." Well, I don't have a dream. I don't have something that gives me purpose, that makes me want to get out of bed every morning. I live a pointless life leading to a pointless future, and I think that's sad. I just wish dreams were dreams again. I wish I could dream of a utopian world, but I'm plagued by the dystopian one I'm living in.

I just wish I could lie in the grass and look up at the sky, and see the stars. Stars, because of pollution, are rare in the city. Seeing a once normal feature of our world, should no longer be a privilege. I want to feel like I have time for that. I want to do it and not feel guilty all that time because of what I could be doing. I wish I didn't feel the pressure of the future like a weight on my shoulders.

I just wish I could do something that matters. I sit in my room, I sit in my desk, everything's the same day after day and I'm sick of it. It's been said before, but this isn't living it's survival. I want to think I can change the world, but I'm sitting on my bed in the middle of the night, trying to make these keyboard taps quieter because my mind is so loud and these words just have to get out. I wish the world wasn't self-destructing. I wish that my generation didn't get a damaged earth to try and fix for the generations after us. It has made us nurturers, and Mother Nature lives in all of us. A piece of her spirit guiding us to paper straws or metal straws, trash clean up crews on beaches, and recycling. We are her children, her Paladin if you will. I just wish I could see us actually fixing the damage done, but it feels hopeless.