stumbled slightly drunk from your
old friend's party. hand in hand we stalked along the length of the
half-constructed park that nobody
even visited nowadays. rusty
old swings that creaked everytime
i sat on them but you still swung me
promised to catch me when i'd fall
but note
note that i never questioned why
you thought i'd fall. in the twelve
years i've known you
haven't i done enough
to make it clear that i hate to fall?

our chaotic spirit still finds its way back
home and on sunday church you maybe
said you saw me in a white dress
and something borrowed
something blue something old something new
but maybe i'd have to set myself ablaze
and give up on my little dreams
to settle down and wait for you
to reckon, "honey, you're back,
let's have dinner"

we lay down faces up
staring at a sky devoid of stars
i see the light in your face imagining
how i was staring up at your sky, eyes alight
and then when i stared back at your sky i
could certainly see myself living a delusion of you and i
a half built heaven that wasn't
strong enough to hold my ambitious
future.
my story was still half-written and
you thought i'd give myself up
for an 'i do'
and i knew every single time
i pined for the stars
you hoped i'd look at you
achieving your best
expecting "me" to look up at your starry sky
knowing every single moment
i wasn't in yours.

~d.s.
1:14