He Was Never Yours To Begin With

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, some places and incidents are product of the writer's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2021 143_pink
Book design by Bianca Santos

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing form the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

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PROLOGUE

Letting go of someone you really love is a very tough decision. Mahirap bumitaw, pero mas mahirap 'yong kakapit ka at ilalaban 'yong bagay na hindi talaga para sa'yo.

Well it's true.

But not in my case.

Hangga't kaya kong ilaban, hindi ko susukuan. Hangga't 'di ako nakakaramdam ng pagod, hindi ko bibitawan. Pero kapag nasa punto ka na pala ng sitwasyon na 'yon.. hindi mo mapipigilan.

Kusa ka nalang kokontrolin ng sarili mong emosyon.

"I was supposed to feel happy with you, now I feel much worse. You're slowly destroying me while I'm here trying to understand you.."

Isang beses.

Isang beses lang ako nagpakatotoo sa tunay kong nararamdaman.

Isang beses lang ako nagreklamo na napapagod na ako.

Pero isang beses lang din pala ang kailangan niya para sukuan ako.

I'm already happy with my life now, but I just know I can never love the same way again like how I loved him. And yes, I'm still in love with him.

He's my greatest love afterall— my moon. 

But just when I thought that everything was in their right place, my biggest downfall came.

I got him and we got back together. He is now my husband. I should be happy. And I am not. I know that he loves me, but not like the type of love he has for that woman.

Because I knew deep within me that he didn't choose me— he choose our daughter.

I guess, things really did change. Pero 'yong lintik na nararamdaman ko para sa kanya— hindi mabago-bago. And I hate myself for still holding on to memories that we had. Hoping that there's still a chance for us— to see what the world was trying to tell us.

Asawa ko nga siya ngayon, pero hindi ko naman siya matawag na akin.

Because from the beginning.. I'm just Bea— the girl who settled on unlabelled relationship. The girl who would never stopped loving him.

Even he was never mine to begin with.