New chapter meh :P

🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷

You know that moment when you thought you knew the difference between east and south but turns out you didn't, and you've just spent the last five minutes absolutely destroying the only bit of strength you have at eight in the fucking morning trying to get to the right side of the building, only to realize the teacher is late and class will start twenty minutes later? No? That might be just me, then. 

Well anyway, that's how I ended up scrolling through my phone in the cafeteria, leaning against the glass display counter because the actual tables made my back hurt. Tall people problems. The lunch lady didn't seem to mind, as she was ranting on about some big heist in a Mexican library back in 1983. All I had to do was give the occasional hum and a "that's crazy," every time she'd fall quiet. Currently we were deep in the character background of Alejandro, I think. 

I had opted to just run back to the theater room, but this building was so fucking big it would take way too long. Like, it takes about six minutes to get from the main entrance to the back exit. Maybe that doesn't sound like much, but trust me when I say I've run marathons just to get to class. Mason had an entire album in his gallery dedicated to selfies of my face when I realized I was gonna be late for class. That album has almost thirty photos of my face alone, and I've only been here for less than three weeks. Besides, I was right next to my class this way anyway.

The lunch lady continued her story while dragging a cloth across the counter's surface as if her life depended on it. "So of course, I told him to just— Ah, is that your friend?"

"Hm?" I glanced up from my phone, eyes widening when I saw Seth walking over to us with an easy smile on his face. Once he realized I'd noticed him, his smile morphed into a grin, to which the corners of my mouth pulled up involuntarily, too. Unsure of what to do, I decided to give him a small wave, hiding my grinning face behind my phone. Stupid. So fucking stupid. "No skateboard today?" I called out, nodding at his shoes.

Seth, being the guy he is, ran a hand through his long-ass hair right as a stroke of artificial light struck him in the face, and of course, it made him look like a fucking model. He called out a casual "hey," once he was close enough. "Principal took it away after I crashed into a freshman's art project. But in my defense," he said, holding up a finger, "they were blocking the whole goddamn corridor."

I scoffed, laughing at the mental image I was creating.  "That poor freshman. You probably traumatized them." 

Seth sighed, glancing at the faded blue floor for a moment before he let out another laugh. "Pretty sure it was their first day too."

Almost immediately, my mind ran back to my first day. I felt my face twist into a teasing smile. "Do you always crash through the corridor on people's first days?"

The lunch lady behind us let out a low whistle, to which Seth chuckled. "I guess I do," he mused, wiggling his brows at me.

Chuckling, I rolled my eyes. "Wow, how charming." Then, I realized I'd never seen Seth's face in Ms. Green's class before. "I didn't know you were in Ms. Green's class too?"

"Oh, I'm not. Well, not really. I just needed some extra explanation for next week's test, so I thought I'd stop by and join y'all for a bit," Seth explained, leaning back against the counter as he pocketed his hands. 

"School sounds so easy for you," I said with a huff, giggling when Seth scoffed, an amused glint in his eyes. I giggled. This was bad.

Seth raised his brows, staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. "Easy?" he queried, lips twisting into a pleased smirk. "You don't know half the trauma I carry along, blue eyes."

And out of all the things I could've done in that moment, I swallowed. I swallowed because I felt my face heat up ever so slightly, an army of ants crawling through my nervous system. Oh Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuuuu— "Uh, I h-have nothing to say to that." Wow, great answer.

"Relax, I'm just kidding," Seth said with a chuckle, reaching over with his arm. He then stopped mid-air, fingers dangling right at my eyes as his face soured. Uhm? "You're too tall, man. Now it's just.." he paused for a moment, retracting his hand to the side. "Kinda awkward."

I snorted, shaking my head with a laugh. "What were you even trying to do?"

With a shy (shy?!) smile on his face, Seth shrugged innocently. "Ruffle your hair, leave you all flustered when your friend over there comes to steal you away from me." He gestured toward Jackson, who was marching over to us with an irritated glare spewing from his cold eyes. Fucking perfect. 

I felt my face pretty much burn at this point, a swarm of stupid bugs whirling around my everything. I don't know what the fuck is happening, but it isn't good. Fleeing Seth's gaze, I focused my furiously red face on his checkered Vans instead. "O-oh. That would've worked, probably."

I heard Seth chuckle softly, mumbling a barely audible 'I know.'

"Robbie." Jackson's voice broke through whatever the fuck this was, and I forced my eyes to meet his. He raised his dark brows, arms folded across his chest as if waiting for me to do something. Uhm. I had no idea what he was hinting at, but it seemed like every passing second pissed him off even more. Well this is awkward. Finally, when my currently mushed brain still didn't catch on, he gave up and dipped his head with a sigh, pinching his nosebridge in disappointment. His lips pulled into a thin smile. "Ms. Green's here, you coming?"

Oh. Right. Class. "Oh, yeah. I'll be right the—

Before I could even finish my sentence, Jackson grabbed my arm and coiled his slim, pale fingers around it, breaking off the blood flow entirely. He began storming away at such a pace I couldn't look back without tripping and possibly dying, so instead I just stumbled on and prayed for the best. 

Right when we reached the door to class, I managed to break free from Jackson's grip and I turned back to the cafeteria, to the empty spot where we'd just stood. Seth was gone. Which for some reason, hurt more than the throbbing in my arm. 

-

Jackson was starting to get on my nerves. I knew it was pretty much socially required to have something against Seth (though this rule seemed to only apply to the seniors), but there was something about the way Jackson's polite smile just.. dropped off his face every time he passed Seth, that made me want to smack his pretty face. The fact that he always found a way to come uncomfortably close to me any time Seth was within a five-mile radius didn't help either. 

As of right now, the corridors were relatively empty, safe for Jackson, his head out of sight in his locker. With a sigh, I walked over to him and attempted to casually lean against a locker like they do in the movies. As you can probably imagine, it didn't look (or feel) all too casual, but whatever. "What's your deal with Seth?" I asked, biting my lip to hold in a laugh when Jackson almost banged his head against his locker. 

Turning around to stare at me, Jackson inhaled through his nose, arms stretched out with his hands in his pockets as usual. "Why do you ask?"

You gotta be kidding me. I rolled my eyes, pushing my foot back when I realized I was slowly slipping forward. Shit. "Because," I began, "uhm.." Well fuck, I didn't really know why I asked. I just wanted to know. 

Jackson laughed one of those typical rich-and-white-my-parents-go-to-the-country-club-on-Saturdays laughs. "I don't like to share this kind of stuff with people, you know. It makes Seth look bad. And believe it or not, but I'm no monster, at least, not like that."

Well that's comforting to know. I slowly nodded, swallowing away the anxious voices that were somehow in my throat and not in my brain. Tugging at the button on one of the cuffs on my sleeves, I could feel Jackson looking at me. 

"But truth is, I like you, Robbie. And I won't lie to people I like," Jackson suddenly continued, smiling softly into the distance. Or more like, into the row of lockers in front of us. "Seth's not who you think he is. I know you're a little naive, and you think everyone's your friend. But he's not."

I didn't like this, at all. "How do you know that?" I asked, my voice much smaller than I wanted it to be. 

Jackson pursed his lips into a thin smile. "You and your theater friends all think I'm this massive dickhead, hm? Be honest here. How well do they know me? Not better than you do, that's for sure."

Just get to the fucking point. "You didn't answer my question," I grumbled, my eyes stuck to the linoleum floor.

"Getting impatient, Blue?" Jackson chuckled, shaking his head. "I've known Seth for longer than most here have. We used to be friends. That was of course, before he... Did some things." He fell quiet, gaze shifting to meet mine. Placing a careful hand on my shoulder, Jackson's eyes darkened. "He has issues, Robbie. I know everyone deals with things, but... This is different. This will kill you."

What the fuck is happening. My heart beat painfully fast, thumping into my throat. I kept swallowing, over and over again but it didn't wash away the overwhelming feeling weighing down on me. Nothing helped and everything was too much. I hate this. I hate it so much. "I—

"Just stay away from him." Jackson nodded at me as he patted my shoulder right as the bell rang, and off he went, blending in with the rapidly growing crowd.

-

Thud. Reagan's bouncing ball thumped against the wall before landing back in her hands, over and over again. It was a satisfying rhythm. The random dude on my for you page was dancing to Savage Love like it was 2020 again. I liked the video. I seriously have no life.

Nyx and Mason were nowhere to be found, and it seemed neither me nor Reagan gave a fuck. They'd reappear at some point anyway. Still, everything felt so quiet without Mason's constant screaming at his computer, and then Nyx yelling at him to stop. 

"Seth's not who you think he is."  I sucked in my cheek, trying to shake Jackson's voice out of my head. When that didn't work, I tried tapping my foot. Bouncing my leg. Hyperfocusing on a Conan Gray video. Nineteen but ya act twenty-five now.. Biting the skin off my lips. Blinking incessantly. Exhaling through my nose while zoned out. Real sweet but I wish you were sober. 

"Uhm— hey Reagan?" 

Reagan glanced up from her journal and shot me a warm smile. "Yeah?"

Placing my phone down on my leg, I let out a shaky breath. "Do you think Seth isn't... uh, who I think he is-?" This is so fucking stupid. 

"What? What do you mean?" Reagan's dark hazel eyes widened in concern. Without waiting for an answer, she got up from her chair and came over to the somewhat worn-out couch where I was sitting, plopping down right next to me. 

I let my hands fall onto my lap, staring at them as if they held the answers to the universe. "I don't know... I just— you don't like Jackson, right?"

Seemingly unbothered by my vague-ass questions, Reagan's face softened. "I don't like to dislike people," she said, placing a careful hand on my arm. "Jackson isn't my friend, but he's yours, right? I don't have to like him to respect that."

A small smile made its way onto my face, and I found myself feeling a little more at ease. "Y-yeah. What about Seth?"

"Seth?" Reagan echoed, her eyebrows slightly furrowed. She pulled down a mushroom charm on her black boot— heel-? Combination of both, I guess. "Let me ask you this. Would my opinion of Seth affect the way you think about him?"

I swallowed, rubbing my thumbs to at least try and not explode with anxiety. It wasn't too effective. "Probably not, I think-?" Silence took over for a second, which gave my brain time to process what Reagan had actually said. "B-But I don't uhm," I let out a fast little laugh, "I don't think of Seth.. Like, not like that. You know? We're like, barely even friends. Yeah."

Reagan smiled again, eyes sparkling with sincerity. "Of course, Robbie. Is there anything else on your mind?"

So soft. Reagan was so soft. I couldn't find any other way to describe her. Everything about her was soft and kind and warm and sweet. It made me feel safe. I offered her a grateful smile. "No, that was all."

-

White tile, cracked tile, white tile, loose tile, white tile, cracked tile. So many tiles. The world had so many tiles, and these were only so little of them. Philosophical shit. 

They were kind of calming, though. With the gentle hum of the ocean further behind me, and the chatter of students walking to their respective cars, oh and the vicious sun burning holes through my clothes was a vibe too. I pulled my earphones out of the side of my bag and put one of the buds in, leaving my other ear on potential danger alarm duty. Backstabber by Kesha began blasting at a volume way too loud, which gained me a few giggles from bypassing girls. 

I just had that immaculate music taste, you know. 

Now everything was just perfect. Energetic white girl music, summery weather, chirping birds, the rhythm of my feet thumping against the grit of the schoolyard, someone repeatedly calling my name... Wait—

"Robbie!" 

I spun around oddly rhythmically, like one of those background dancers on a stage performance. Michael Jackson who? Tiny pebbles kicked up against my ankles before clattering back onto the ground. Those poor baby flowers went through an avalanche. My heart leaped into my throat when I realized it was Seth, jogging towards me with his hair bouncing up and down. Well more like, swatting left and right, a few strands sticking to his forehead. Suddenly I felt incredibly nervous. 

The sun beamed down on him in little streaks, divided by the green canopy of various trees surrounding the gravel path. The thumping of his footsteps caused a herd of small birds to flutter up from the trees, squeaking furiously before landing somewhere else again. He came to a stop, panting slightly as I quickly paused my music. "Hey," he took another breath, "blue eyes."

"Hey," I said back, digging my nails into the strap of my backpack. I just couldn't unsee Jackson's dark gaze burning into my soul, icy eyes lighting up the instant worries in my mind. How fucking cringe did that sound? I swear, I was like two mental breakdowns away from explicitly listing a bazillion synonyms for the icy color of his eyes and how they were probably gonna haunt my nightmares if I didn't watch cute animal videos before going to sleep. Yikes.

Seth's hand fidgeted with the stack of bracelets on his wrist, eyes gazed off into the distance. It was a little something I had noticed. Regardless of where he was, Seth's eyes were always connected with the sea, no matter how many walls were in between. He blinked back to focus, gaze shifting to meet mine, that default easy smile on his face. "Sorry, I just wanted to ask if you uhm, you'd want to study together sometime? Seems like you understand that chemistry shit a lot better than I do." 

Yes. Yes. YES. "Oh, uhm..." Fuck. This wasn't fair. Why the fuck did Jackson get to decide who my friends were? He didn't seem to have a problem with anyone else, regardless of their 'issues'.  I didn't know what was the truth. But I knew Reagan was right. Or maybe I just wanted her to be. I didn't know if Seth's issues would kill me. But I did know it would kill me if I never got the chance to find out. Still slightly hesitant, I offered Seth what I hoped looked like a genuine smile (though it probably resembled that of a middle schooler on picture day.) "Y-yeah. That'd be nice."

Seth's eyes brightened immediately, fingertips releasing the beads of a brown bracelet. He looked so happy. It made me happy. "Yeah? Are you free this Wednesday?"

I nodded with a smile. "Sure, yeah. We could uh, walk to my place after school? I live close by."

"Sounds cool," Seth said with a grin before nodding in the opposite direction of where I was originally walking. "See ya Wednesday, then!" 

"See ya." 

White tile, cracked tile, white tile, his smile, loose tile, cracked tile.

🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷-🍹-🪷

Whoooo that was chapter six for ya!! I hope you enjoyed 'cause bro I was STRUGGLING with this one whew (ಥ _ ಥ) Why does Jackson dislike Seth so much ugh wish I knew 😒

Anywaaaayy some other news.. I'm trying to enter the Wattys this year!! Wish me luck huuu ผ(•̀_•́ผ)

Stay hydrated ily always BYEEE<3