New chapter time!

Trigger Warning; vomiting, lots of panicking, brief mentioning of PTSD. Enjoy:3

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Green-glowing stars in an otherwise dark room were the first things I saw when I opened my eyes. Where the fuck am I-?  My head —which felt like it was being assaulted by an army of hammers, pounding into my skull— lay on a soft pillow, one that most definitely wasn't mine. I lazily threw an arm across my head, which was when I felt a lukewarm cloth placed on my forehead. The sudden wet feeling scared the shit out of me and I flinched, heart jumping into my throat. Despite the raging panic coursing through me, I couldn't get out any type of sound. As if someone had taken the vocal cords out of my system. 

"Oh, you're awake. I was starting to get worried, kid." 

Jesus fucking ch— If the mysterious cloth had made me flinch, I was glued to the ceiling now. My back slammed against the textured wall, causing me to flail and accidentally hit the light switch, flooding the entire room with a flashing wave of harsh light. Dull pain coursed through my body and I stumbled, completely disoriented, before collapsing back onto the creaking mattress with a groan.

"Woah, hey, it's okay. It's just me. I didn't mean to scare you," the voice spoke again, this time much softer. 

I am so confused right now. Squinting through the light, a hazy figure appeared to block out part of the brightness with its darkened silhouette. The figure moved, reaching above my head. I heard a tick and the harsh flare dimmed down to a warmer, more gentle light, in which the dark green walls became much more apparent. Green Day's frontman looked down at me from the wall beside me, smiling in a similar way Seth always did. I'm in Seth's room. It took a few more seconds for my foggy brain to realize the mysterious figure was.. Seth's mom-? 

I groaned again, tensing my jaw at the nausea curling around my stomach. "Mhm.. What happened..?" My own voice sounded like sharp nails against a chalkboard, grating ugly vibrations my head couldn't handle.

The blonde woman smiled a tired smile, reaching over to peel the soggy cloth from my forehead. "I should be the one asking that, don't you think? Ya came over in the middle of the night, absolutely shitfaced, and fainted in my son's arms. Haven't seen that one in a while."

What the... "Oh my god.. I'm so s—" I shot up straight (ignoring the immense pain that it brought me), both hands clasped over my mouth when that brooding nausea suddenly came lurching into me, gushing around in my stomach like waves crashing against the shore. No.. No no no. Panic rose up my chest, opening the doors for that stupid fucking snake to writhe its way back around my lungs. 

"Robbie. Breathe. I can promise you you're safe here, no need to panic." Seth's mom glanced at me with worried eyes, hands resting on her lap as she sat on a small chair next to the bed. "Save the apologies for later, 'kay?"

Why the fuck am I in Seth's room?! Nothing made sense, everything hurt, and I just wanted to feel okay. Where's Seth?

"Do you remember anything?" she asked, pouring a glass of water and handing it to me. "Drink up. You need to hydrate."

I accepted the glass with trembling hands. Truth was, I couldn't remember batshit. Fog had clouded up my entire brain and I had no clue how the fuck I ended up here. Attempting to take a sip, I carefully shook my head. "N-no." The water gushed over the rim of the glass, splattering onto my shirt. Maroon stained to dark brown instantly and— wait a second... I don't own any maroon t-shirts. Mine had been pink. "Wha—

Following my gaze, Seth's mom shook her head. "We gave you one of Seth's shirts to borrow. You were soaked in pool water."

Pool water. That did sound familiar. 

"Answer her question and I'll give you a refill."

"...I like—

"Robbie! God, I've been looking for you everywhere."

 Everything came crashing back, hurtling into my brain so quickly that it made me even dizzier. I stared down at my glass, swallowing away the growing lump in my throat. "I th-think I remember.."

"That's good, kid. Hope you didn't do anything stupid," she mused with raised brows, chuckling as she stood up. "You can stay here tonight and get some rest, yeah?"

I nodded and just then, the door opened with a soft click. I felt my heart flutter when Seth walked in, carrying a plate with what appeared to be bread, and banana slices. A worried smile formed on his face when he saw me, and he carefully placed the plate on a dark brown nightstand next to his bed. "Hey."

"I'll let you two be for a bit, okay? I'll be in my room if you need anything, tesoro." Seth's mom nodded at Seth and left, closing the door again with another soft click.

"Grazie. Night, mom."

Seth sat down on the mattress, blond hair messily falling over his shoulders. So pretty. "Aleksia called me," he said softly, scooching a little closer such that we were facing each other. "She's been worried sick, Robbie. You left without saying anything-? I told her what I know, and that you're staying here." After a few beats of silence, he added, "I don't know what happened between you two, but she asked me to tell you that she loves you."

The lump in my throat right about quadrupled in size, turning up the already existing nausea by tenfold. Shit. This is too much. "S— Seth-?" I choked out, squeezing my eyes shut to stop those goddamn tears from escaping. 

"I'm right here." A warm, comforting hand gently folded over my own trembling ones, squeezing them softly as another hand wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me against Seth's chest. He held me close, stroking my back in those same, soothing patterns. "God, you're freezing," he mumbled, chest steadily rising and falling as he rubbed his thumb against the cold skin of my hands. 

I might've been freezing on the outside, but it felt like all my organs had been set on fire and doused with butterflies. Seth exuded warmth, so soft and gentle with a hint of jasmine that made me want to stay there forever. It felt safe. Seth felt safe.

He pulled away after a few more seconds, hand still covering mine, and face slightly flushed red. Standing up, he smiled at me through tired eyes. "I'm gonna get you a hoodie, m'kay?"

"You're red," I decided to point out for no fucking reason, watching Seth as he turned his back to me and opened his closet. I could see Harvey's terrarium now, a warm red light zooming into the dimly lit room. 

"Don't worry about me, blue eyes," he eventually said, back still turned to me. I could hear him smile.

It would've made me smile too if it wasn't for another wave of nausea crashing into my system, a force so heavy I couldn't help but gag. No. I gasped, panicked tears welling up in my eyes again as I used my hands to cover my mouth. No no no, please no.

I heard some footsteps and then felt a hand on my shoulder. "I'm taking you to the bathroom, okay?" He pulled me up from the bed and led me to another door right next to his closet, which opened to show a bathroom. He dragged me to the toilet and I dry-heaved into it the moment my knees hit the cold tiles, tears blurring my vision. 

Nausea coiled around my stomach, tightening its grip until I gagged again, my watering eyes drawn shut. I'm so fucking scared. I couldn't even hold onto the toilet with how bad my hands were shaking, cold sweat breaking out onto my back. 

"You're okay, I'm here, I'm here." Seth's hands were on my shoulders, holding them steady so I wouldn't fall over. "You're gonna be oka—

I retched into the toilet again, this time actually emptying all that was still left in my stomach. A sickening, acidic smell filled the air, causing the tears to freely stream down my face as I coughed and gagged. More liquid hurled up, rapidly running out of my mouth and down my chin until I was left coughing for air. Make it stop.

"You're gonna be okay, I promise. I just need you to keep breathing," Seth said softly, hands gently massaging my shoulders to release the pressure I felt everywhere. 

But I couldn't. I could only keep coughing, my entire body tensing at the pressure slicing into my stomach. It hurt. Leaning away from the horrid smell of the toilet, I felt Seth pull me closer to him. 

He turned me around and smiled sadly, one hand on my trembling arm as the other swiped over my chin and mouth with some scrunched-up toilet paper. After throwing away the paper, he glanced at me with those kind, Earthy eyes and gave my arm a little squeeze. "I'm sure we have a spare toothbrush in the cabinet, I'll go take a look."

As Seth stood up and left to grab a toothbrush, a new rush of cold ran through me, leaving me shivering from head to toe. My sweaty hands stuck to the grainy, white tiles, leaving smudged marks any time I lifted them to check if they'd stopped trembling yet. The bathroom lighting left everything in an off-white, almost yellow hue that made me feel queasy. It made me want to close my eyes and disappear, maybe forever.

My heartbeat seemed to follow there where Seth's touch had been, on my arm, releasing a surge of butterflies to tickle my slowly freezing, yet somehow still sweating skin. I wanted Seth to come back.

It didn't take long for a shadow to cast across the white tiles. "Found a toothbrush," Seth said as he crouched down in front of me, black t-shirt contrasting his pretty hair. "You think you can stand up?"

I can barely feel my body. "Mhm." Words were too difficult right now. But even with Seth's hands supporting me, I just couldn't get up. The ground was a magnetic field and my legs were made out of steel. "It h— hurts."

Seth sighed, tired eyes not leaving me. "I know. You can lie down in a minute, okay?" He once again tried to lift me up, strong hands gripping my arms. 

I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut while involuntarily putting all my weight on Seth. "I—" my words fell silent when I felt the cold stone of a sink press into my skin. I glanced up to see my reflection, a disgusting zombie with skin paler than that of a vampire and eyes so puffy you could barely see the pupils anymore. Next to me stood a goddamn model that still looked so unfairly attractive with his messy hair and red-tinted, sleep-deprived eyes. Insecurity smacked me in my gut and I forced my eyes away from the mirror, down to the white sink where I took the toothbrush Seth'd handed me. 

This isn't working. I could hardly hold the damn red brush up, let alone move it around in my mouth. Toothpaste dripped down my chin, spicy mint burning at my gums. Why is mint so spicy? When the toothpaste began to glide down my throat, I dropped the brush with a trembling hand and coughed loudly, gasping into the sink. 

Almost immediately, I felt Seth's hand on my back. "You're oka—

"N-no," I made out between coughs, shaking my head. "I h-haven't— I didn't e-eat— a-anything. Today."

I heard a sniff, followed by Seth clearing his throat. He placed his arms around my upper body, securing me so I wouldn't fall over. "I've got some food for you, yeah? Let's get you to bed."

-

Banana is disgusting. The warmth of Seth's mattress and comforter was a nice change from the cold bathroom, though. And by now, my body seemed happy with literally any type of food, so plain bread and sliced banana were more than fine. 

Seth had gone back to finding a hoodie for me, rummaging through the dark wood closet on the other side of his room. I watched him accidentally bump into Harvey's terrarium with a hoodie thrown over his shoulder and then profusely apologize, pressing a finger against the glass with a smile. Cute. Shut up. He turned around, face reddening when he realized I'd been watching him. 

With a bashful smile, he tossed me the hoodie and plopped down on that awkwardly placed chair next to his bed. "It might be a little small on you, giant," he said with a chuckle, reaching over to pull the collar down my head so I could breathe again. "I'll let you sleep if you finish the water. You'll thank me tomorrow."

To my minor disappointment, Seth's green hoodie didn't smell of jasmine or salt air. Just, a simple detergent. Why the fuck is that disappointing-? Hugging the hoodie closer to me, I gave Seth a meek nod and reached for the glass of water before pressing it to my lips. The cold water slid down my throat, dousing out the fire in my stomach with gentle coolness. After swallowing the last sip, I lifted my eyes to meet Seth's. He looked so tired. That was when I realized I had absolutely no clue what time it was or how long we'd been here. "Uhm— do you know what time it is-?" God, my voice sounded awful. Like someone had scraped down my vocal cords to shreds. But at least I could make out one cohesive sentence, that was some progress at most. 

Seth swallowed and rubbed his eyes before turning back to me. "It was like, a little past one a.m when I was cutting up the banana. Haven't checked the time since."

Oh my god. "Fuck." Talking made my head hurt. Then again, everything already hurt anyway. "I'm sorry. I sh— shouldn't have—

"No." He dipped his head down, elbows resting on his knees as I heard him sigh.

I furrowed my brows, worry rising to my head. "No?"

Lifting his head, Seth offered me a wry smile. "No. I am way too tired to stop you from apology-spiraling into panic or whatever the hell you were about to do."

Oh. "Oh. O-okay." Wow. Yeah, no, great response, idiot. Feeling the exhaustion drag at my eyes, I finally gave in and laid down, curling up underneath the dark comforter. I was too tired to wonder why the fuck Seth wanted me to take his bed or where he would be sleeping so I just. Didn't.

Smile fading to hesitation, Seth reached over above my head to turn off the light, leaving only the greenish-white stars on his ceiling to guide us through the dark. He sat back down —or so I assumed by the chair seating creaking— and took a soft breath. "Hey uhm—" voice cracking, he cleared his throat before continuing, "would you mind if I stay here for a bit? I... I don't think I want to be alone right now."

That sent off all sorts of alarm bells in my head and I pushed myself up from the mattress, ignoring the pain that immediately surged into my skull. I furrowed my brows, racking my fogged-up brain to try and figure out what he'd meant.

"I uhm, I— I have PTSD. It's usually not that bad, but sometimes I— I get triggered. A-and I know most of my triggers, but I just didn't expect this. At all."

Shit. I'm a terrible person. How didn't I think about that-?! Truthfully, I simply couldn't think at all, but that was no damn excuse.  "Did I... did I trigger you?" The words felt sharp on my tongue, bitter to force them out through my hoarse voice.

It was silent for just a second too long. 

"...Are you going to apologize if I say yes?"

Fuck. "Yea—

"Just— let me stay here until you're asleep. Please?"

I groaned, plopping back down onto the fluffy pillow with my face. "'Tis your room anyway," I mumbled, words muffled by the pillow as I threw a lazy arm somewhere in Seth's direction. It fell on his knee and I felt him flinch before realizing it was just me. 

He took my hand and placed it back on the mattress, causing me to attempt a frown. "Yeah.." His hand hovered in the air for a moment before he sighed and placed it on top of mine, effectively warming it up. "I guess you're right."

With butterflies coursing through my system, I found myself surrendering to the temptation of sleep. "G'night.."

"Night, blue eyes."

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Ooh. Kinda gay. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Drop your thoughts here, I wanna knooooow:P ->

Stay hydrated and cya next week!<3