Hi all! This chapter is split up in two halves 'cause I had no time to write the full thing:') (it's also a continuation of last chapter, so technically it's three parts but blech:P)

⚠Trigger Warning; check comments due to spoilers -->

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"Damn, this looks depressing," Seth laughed out, motioning to the greenish-gray walls of the apartment's main stairwell. His voice echoed through the building, footsteps vibrating off the metal steps.

I snorted, my eyes following the scribbles —which were probably done with permanent marker— on the wall. "I know right. When I first moved here I got real worried when I reached the stairwell," I joked, though the memories were very much true. "Luckily it doesn't smell as bad as it looks." It smelled of dusty Febreze, as if someone had plugged one in last decade and never replaced it again. Like one of those stale, used-to-be-disgustingly-sweet-but-now-smells-like-dust air fresheners old people have in their cars.

Seth just laughed, beaming up at me from a few steps below. I smiled back, jogging up the final few steps to our floor. Living on the second highest floor sure gave a nice view, but my god, the workout I had to go through every fucking day. Then again, that was also the only exercise I ever got, so maybe it was for the best.

After fighting with the keys for a bit again, I managed to open the door. "Welcome!" I called out, spreading my arms just like Seth'd done with a wide grin on my face for no fucking reason. My bag plopped onto the floor at its usual spot; a random corner. It smelled of pasta and vanilla candles, both of which led to Aleksia. Curled up on the dark blue couch —most of the furniture was dark blue— with a cup of tea and said pasta, a journal sprawled out on her lap, and old music playing in the background, Aleksia was having her main-character moment. It was a vibe, though.

"I don't know who you brought along," she began without looking up, "but the living room's off limits, sorry not sorry."

I chuckled, throwing back a 'got it,' as I made a move towards the kitchen island. Well, more like a stand-alone countertop with some barstools, but that sounds so lame. Without thinking, I pulled out two glasses from the cabinet and filled them with ice. "You mind lemonade?" I hummed, expecting Seth to be right behind me. But I didn't get an answer.

Confused, I turned back around to see Seth still standing at the door opening, his body completely frozen. "Seth?" I tried again, walking over to wave a hand in front of his face. He blinked a few times, his eyes hazy and unfocused. With furrowed brows, I gently placed a hand on his arm. "S—

He flinched, jerking his entire body away from me as his pupils grew wide. A flash of something flitted through his eyes, and it scared me. This scared me. Almost immediately, his eyes softened again but the genuine fear in his face didn't leave. "S-shit. Sorry—" a sharp inhale, "I'm sorry. I— the music... Could you— Can you turn it off-?"

The music? Despite the urge to ask a million questions, I just nodded. "Y-yeah, of course." I stumbled to the main speaker and just turned it off entirely, automatically disconnecting the two other smaller ones. French melodies fell silent, prompting a loud protest from Aleksia. Sorry. "Uhm," I turned back to Seth, "is that— uh, are you okay?"

Seth just stood there, staring at me, his eyes pooling with tears. A shiver ran through him, it seemed, before he just plopped down on the floor. His back pressed against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest. What the fuck is happening?

Right then, I heard Aleksia's footsteps approach. "Robbie, why did you turn the mu— oh shit." She came to stand beside me, worry increasing on her face as she quickly analyzed Seth. "Hey," she murmured softly, crouching down in front of him. Still completely clueless about what to do, I decided to just copy her and crouched down too. Though, I could imagine it must feel fucking humiliating to have two fully grown people crouching down over you. "Can you breathe okay?" she asked, her voice so soft it was almost fragile. I figured Aleksia probably had experienced this before with the kids she worked with.

Seth, his face hidden, nodded, although barely noticeable. A choked-down sob ripped from his chest, which made the trembling even worse as tears soaked into his off-white Nirvana shirt. And I was so, so confused. It hurt to see, but that felt fucking ridiculous because clearly, he was the one in pain. I'd never really had a panic attack before- at least, that's what I thought this was, but I'd seen it before, in the movies and stuff.

"Seth-?" I squeaked out, racking my suddenly smooth brain for something useful to say. To quite literally no one's surprise, I couldn't come up with something.

With a pained groan, Seth raised his head. His face was red, strands of darkened hair sticking to his tear-stained cheeks. He glanced around the room, usually grounded eyes still empty before he shook his head. "I— I'm dissociating." His hand reached for the stack of bracelets on his wrist, fingers coiling around the little teal beads and leather straps.

Whereas I didn't even know what that meant, Aleksia's eyes widened as she pursed her lips. "Put your hands on the floor, okay? Tell me what you feel, what do you see?" God, was I grateful for her.

Seth exhaled shakily. "Y-you gotta get your carpet cl— cleaned," he croaked out through a watery attempt at a chuckle, digging his nails deeper into the dark blue carpet. Despite the absolutely horrendous timing, I came to think he'd look nice with nail polish.

I sighed deeply in relief, swallowing down the urge to laugh at his stupid joke. Aleksia did chuckle, most likely automatically, and nodded at him. "Carpet's real tricky to get clean," she said, her voice still soft. "Can you see the living room? Name a few things you can see for me, please."

He remained quiet for a few seconds, glancing around the room through narrowed eyes. Then, he shook his head again. "T-that doesn't— it doesn't work. They're not," Seth paused and —for the first time— locked eyes with me, "they're not real."

I swallowed, chewing at my lip. I want to help you, but I don't even know what's happening. For some reason, I decided to sit down next to him. The warm khaki and olive tones of his outfit contrasted my own, cool palette of pale blues and whites. Both palettes would make for stunning paintings. Blowing out some air through my nose, I let my own hands fall onto the dusty carpet and grains of sand began to collect under my nails. "I am real, and I'm here," I mumbled, smiling weakly when Aleksia nodded at me. "Aleksia's here too, and I think she understands what's happening. I don't think I do, b-but that's okay.. I'm pretty good at pretending to understand what's happening, you could say I'm an expert." I paused, shutting my lips when I realized I was rambling. Great fucking job. "Am I— does talking make it worse-?"

That's when I heard a chuckle, a more genuine one. "Not if you're talking," Seth said with a hoarse voice, followed by another, slightly more nervous, chuckle. He glanced at Aleksia. "I... I think I'm o-okay.." When Aleksia smiled at him, his eyes suddenly widened and he all but sprang up, startling the fuck out of me. "Shit," he muttered, "I'm so sorry I—" another pause, he anxiously glanced between us, "that was so fu— so embarrassing, shit."

"Don't apologize," Aleksia pressed, once again managing to speak my thoughts. She placed a very gentle hand on Seth's shoulder and guided him to the counter to finish the lemonade I was originally making. "Drink up, and feel free to use the bathroom if you need to."

"Guess I'll get up too, then," I mumbled mainly to myself, crawling up from the floor. Some sort of clueless puppy, that's what I felt like. Skipping after the humans, wagging my tail in cluelessness. Now I wanna pet a puppy.

Seth offered Aleksia a small smile as he swallowed down the last of his lemonade. "Uh, yeah. I'll be— I'll be right back." With that, he disappeared into the bathroom.

Confusion is the powerhouse of the cell, currently. "Uhm—

"I'll leave you two alone, okay? If anything happens, call me," Aleksia cut me off before I could fill the void, switched on her phone, and tossed it into her purse before heading to the door. Giving me one more reassuring nod that made me feel even more like that goddamn puppy, she disappeared into the hallway.

"Hey," Seth's voice spoke, (startling me —again— out of the internal dilemma of whether to answer Aleksia with 'thank you' or 'fuck you') as he emerged from the bathroom. The decision was left unmade since I required my brain's full attention again. "You probably want an explanation for all that, huh?" He scratched his neck, glancing at me with a crooked smile.

Replicating his smile, I gave him a meek nod. "Did you... was that a panic attack?" I asked, somewhat hesitant as I led him toward my room.

Seth sighed, pausing at the doorway. "Something like that, yeah."

"Well uh, welcome to my room," I said, motioning around me as I quickly went to inspect the succulent plants on my white windowsill. Still alive, motherfuckers. Then, my genius rice-grain brain remembered that this room was filled with art, and art, is sacred. Especially to people whom you still want to at least somewhat impress. "Oh, and don't mind all the-

"Dude— you painted these?! This looks sick," Seth gushed, already walking closer to inspect the canvas on my easel and the dozens of finished ones behind it. "I wish I could do that, I'd be unstoppable."

Shaking off the heat in my face, I chuckled, turning around to face Seth. "Thank you, haha.." My words fell quiet, adding to the already awkward atmosphere. Were we just gonna ignore the elephant in the room-? I didn't exactly have a script for this. "So, uhm..."

Seth inhaled sharply, though I assumed it was supposed to be a chuckle. He ran a hand through his hair, shaking out the tangled ends with a shaky sigh. "Sorry I— Can I just uh, sit down here for a second-?"

Almost on auto-pilot, I nodded and Seth immediately plopped down on my bed, white covers against a light blue wall, right opposite my window. He offered me a small smile as I shuffled over to sit on my pillows. I smiled back.

"I uhm, I— I have PTSD. It's usually not that bad, but sometimes I— I get triggered. A-and I know most of my triggers, but I just didn't expect this. At all." He sat back, glancing around my room. "I like your room. It's bright and... happy. Just like you."

My brain somersaulted back and forth like a looping emote you can't pause. It just really wasn't fair; he, Seth, with his perfectly perfect hair and face and everything, gave me a compliment. I was so taken aback that I almost forgot about the other thing he'd said. Oh. Right. PTSD. "Do you uhm, do you have any other triggers? That I should know of..?" I decided to ask, ignoring his comment about my room for the sake of importance. Sacrifices had to be made. It was probably a stupid question, but I genuinely had no clue how else to react to the information. It's not something you hear every day. Besides, I figured he wouldn't be exactly thrilled to tell me how he ended up with PTSD.

For some reason, Seth smiled yet again and he looked fucking angelic with the golden loops of sun trickling down on him through the —most likely plastic— crystal suncatcher hanging above my window. Screw you, universe. "Don't worry, this is never gonna happen again. Just uh, don't play that music when I come over again and we should be good," he said with a chuckle, dropping down such that he was lying on his back now. "Feel free to ask questions, though."

I thought for a moment. I mean, of course there were a bunch of things I wanted to know, but those seemed to be different types of questions. Like, questions that technically would be appropriate for the given circumstances, but he assumably wouldn't want to answer them if it wasn't for the current context. So, I bottled them away for now. Instead, my eyes fell on his hand, and more specifically, the tattoos. This was my chance. "What do your tattoos mean? The dots and stripes, I don't understand them."

Glancing up at me, Seth lifted his hand to inspect it himself, almost as to make sure we were both speaking of the same thing. "Morse code," he hummed, rotating his wrist around the different strokes of sunlight. "They're dots and dashes, with a meaning. The flower's an Iris, and the butterflies are well, butterflies."

Morse code... That makes so much more sense. My mind began to race with potential meanings behind the dots and dashes, but I didn't want to ask. Truly, I just didn't know what I could say. Like walking on ice, each step could be your last. Well, that's a tad dramatic, maybe. But you get the point. I grabbed a blue and white (the 2020 tie-dye epidemic had all of us in a chokehold, don't you lie) squishmallow and pressed it against my chest. "You know, if it does uhm— if it happens it again. Then that's okay. I'll uhm, I'll make sure I actually know what to do," I said with a soft chuckle, flapping the squishmallow's little arms up and down.

"Thanks, blue eyes. I wish more people reacted that way." He smiled sadly, reaching over to poke the squishmallow which made me laugh.

"People can be really shitty." I sighed, thinking back to Miami and all the shitty people I was stuck with there. I didn't like to think about it.

Seth nodded with a half-smile, probably reminiscing about the examples of his own. Then, he turned to me, propping himself up on one elbow. "Hey uhm, I know you don't swim, but would you mind just— being in the sea-? I can lend you one of my boards and we could just.. float around a bit."

"That sounds nice," I murmured, digging my fingers deeper into the squishmallow. It did sound nice. But it also sounded horrifying. No way would I admit that, though. I didn't know what it was like to float. Or to swim. Or to be in water in general. But it sounded nice.

Seth exclaimed a little 'yay!' with one of those sparkling smiles and any doubts I had all but melted away immediately. I'm screwed.

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Part two will be up next week!! I hope you enjoyed:> What are your thoughts on Seth and this newfound discovery? Do you think Robbie handled the situation well? Let me know!

Stay hydrated and safe, and cya next weeeeeeeek<3