I did not plan anything in this chapter. Enjoy.

Trigger Warning; chapter contains a triggered meltdown/ slightly different than usual panic attack. Not sure what term to use. The scene where it happens is marked with "⚠⚠" and skipping it won't affect the storyline much. Stay safe<3

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One thing I often thought about was the inventor of school. Like, I could imagine how amazingly proud they must've been to create such a brilliant concept for kids to be able to learn and whatever else this place'd be good for. If they'd been religious, it would be their one-way ticket to Heaven. Then, I'd sigh and watch the freshmen girls record TikToks in a far too crowded corridor, cough loudly to cover the sound of a Grindr notification from a straight senior making out with his girlfriend, and wonder if I ate breakfast that morning. Probably not.

With a newfound hunger -I had in fact, not had breakfast- I caught Jackson's gaze from across the hallway. He smiled at me and waved me over while simultaneously nodding at something short guy said, icy eyes staring me down as I skidded over.

"Blue!" He opened his arms in welcome, almost smacking short dude on his face. Placing his extended arms on my shoulders, he continued, "Good to see you again. You had a nice weekend?"

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah, me and some friends hung out at the beach."

Eyes widening, Jackson nodded slowly. He removed his hands, slapping them against his thighs with a brief inhale. "I see. Well, you've got to get to class, hm? I'll see you at lunch."

Oh. Right. Class. That's a thing. "For sure," I replied without really thinking about it, offering him one more smile before I dashed off toward my locker, begging my brain to remember which books I was gonna need.

My blue locker- I know, how fitting- still smelled like axe body spray from the last person who'd claimed this thing. Which, knowing me, would be something I'd complain about, but after realizing the janitor used that disgusting pine tree cleaning stuff to wipe down the building, middle-school-fuckboy-wannabe didn't sound too bad anymore.

So after looking up my schedule on my phone, I got out the necessary textbooks and shut the damn thing with all frustration I had. Of course, it flew right open again. Might as well laugh in my face, then.

"Someone's having a great morning."

I snapped my head around, ready to mentally trash whoever dared to speak to me. My eyes showed me Nyx, striped sleeves underneath a black t-shirt. "Tell me 'bout it." I sighed through a tight-lipped smile, finally managing to shut the goddamn door.

Nodding towards the direction we both needed to go, Nyx put their hands in their pockets as we walked. It took a few beats of silence before they spoke, "So did you guys make out yet?"

Thank fuck I wasn't carrying a drink around because it'd be on the floor right now. I did, however, trip over my shoelace and faceplant into one of those concrete beams blocking the perfectly passable hallways with their uselessness. Ow.

Nyx snorted, head shaking in mild disappointment. "I take that as a no."

I frowned, trying my best to ignore the throbbing in my head. "I don't know what you're talking about. Seth and I are friends." Ha, classic. Blue faded to pink as we crossed another corridor, pastel coral uniforms morphing to camouflage.

With their hands in the pockets of black parachute pants, they shrugged. "Never said it was about him. Besides, I'm ace and even I can sense the tension between you two."

Shit. With a groan, I let Nyx hold onto the strap of my backpack as I escorted us through the rush hour hallway, better known as the main hall right attached to the front entrance. I could easily see above the buzzing swarms of students, picking out the best route to get through them all.

Once we made it through, I attempted to glare at Nyx. "I'm not above shoving my friend into a locker."

They shot me a smug smile. "So you're not denying it. Interesting."

Now it was my turn to scoff. I mean obviously, Nyx had no idea what they were talking about. Seth and I were friends. The raging dysfunction of my heart anytime we were in the same room wouldn't change that.

That's when we reached our final destination; Calc. 65b. Bracing myself for forty-five minutes of being zoned out until I'd get asked a question and then anxiously try to remember which class I was in, I turned to Nyx and tapped their shoulder before they went in.

They furrowed their brows, the non-verbal version of "what".

Lowering my head to their height, I quickly stepped aside for the other students trying to get in. "I accidentally agreed to lunch with Jackson today, so you guys will probably not see me until later today."

"Asshole." They shoved my shoulder with a slight grin, shooting me a thumbs-up before disappearing to the back of the classroom.

-⚠-⚠-

To my dismay, lunch came around earlier than I'd like to admit and I soon found myself queuing with a pink tray in my hands. I know, crazy thing to say. It wasn't like I didn't want to hang out with Jackson, in fact, that was probably the only thing I did enjoy. It was the absolute brainless, unapologetically homophobic, and scarily obedient dudes that always hung around him. That, and the overall atmosphere of the place. I mean, I was like a servant eating lunch in the most valuable dining room of a castle. It just felt wrong.

Once the lunch lady dropped the usual white sandwiches and tiny apple slices onto my tray, I grabbed a small bottle of water and made my way to Jackson's table. It probably wasn't actually his table, but it seemed no one else dared to sit there.

"Blue!" Jackson cut one of his friends off to greet me, a fond smile on his face as I sat down. Straightening out the white cuffs on his uniform, he glanced at said friend. "Jenkins over here was just telling me about this article he'd read, weren't you?"

The guy, last name apparently Jenkins, nodded slowly. A blond fringe fell over his eyes as he lowered his head to the table, eyes trained on his light blue tray. He remained quiet.

Posture straight and hands clasped together on the table, Jackson turned back to me. "So, any plans after school?"

Well that was.. weird. I decided to ignore my brain and instead took a bite of my sandwich. "Don't think so-? I mean, I have a shit-ton of calc homework if that counts." The combination of flavorless cheese, runny tomato, and overly sweet bread slid down my throat as a sticky paste, leaving me with incredible thirst and the craving for a toothpick.

Nodding with a small chuckle, Jackson reached over and handed me the water bottle I had not-so-subtly been eyeing. "Sounds fun," he mused, taking a sip of his own water. "How about-

His words fell silent as we both noticed no one other than Seth, laughing at something some teacher said right outside the cafeteria. Before I could look away, he'd caught my gaze and smiled, left hand forming a small wave as it hung to his side. I'm going to melt.

Jackson looked at me, pale eyes narrowed with uncertainty. He cleared his throat, effectively snapping me back to his attention. "So, Robbie. Anything else on your mind?"

I thought about it for a moment -a clear sign there were multiple things on my mind- and found myself glancing past Jackson's shoulders, to where Seth'd been standing less than a minute ago. A nagging feeling filled my chest when I realized he was no longer there, the buzzing around me suddenly prickling at my skin. Huh? I tried to blink away the fuzz in my head and turned back to Jackson with a forced smile. "Not really."

He inhaled through his nose, lips pursed into a thin smile. "Well then, let me tell you about this thing with my father. I'm sure you've heard of the Grayfordt company, mhm? Right, so, the other day..."

Panic started to trickle down my brain when the weird fuzziness didn't leave, instead becoming so apparent that it completely drowned out Jackson's voice. Small details zoomed in until they were unmissable, crashing into my field of vision like a Formula 1 cart flying through a sharp turn. A silver bracelet on blonde ponytail girl to the left second table, some old Nokia ringtone in the back, the wobbly table leg stuffed with tissues, a small bird fluttering around the streaks of sunlight that poured out of the stained glass windows in the high ceiling. And it buzzed. It buzzed so loud.

"... so of course, I told him the obvious and he just had to make such a massive deal out of it, truly childish."

Make it stop make it stop make it stop-

Jackson raised a brow, eyes trying their best to follow my fucked-up gaze. "Is everything alright?"

"Robbie?"

My eyes filled with tears, burning so bad I'd rather just rip them right out if that would make this all stop. Like a fucking puppet who'd lost his strings, I felt my body stand up so abruptly I almost toppled over, feet floating right above the floor that seemed to sink down further and further with every passing second. "I-" My voice came out weak and strained and it sounded like I was underwater. What the fuck is happening to me?! "-be back."

Everyone's looking at you. They're staring. I wrapped my arms around my upper body in a weak attempt to muffle the pounding in my chest, but that only added to the anaconda tightly coiling around my lungs. I couldn't breathe.

The moment I emerged from the buzzing cafeteria everything fell pin-drop quiet. The roaring in my ears rang loudly across the various corners of my head and nothing could drown it out. Those sickening pink hallways went on forever, no matter how many wobbly steps I took. This is pointless.

Trembling from shoulders to feet, I dropped down on the smooth floor, cold metal pressing into my back. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks, staining my knees that I'd hugged up to my chest. That god-awful silence held me in a chokehold, its lifeless fingers wrapped around my neck.

Wheels strummed over the linoleum floor. They stopped. "Robbie?" Some more squeaking footsteps and a mumble I couldn't make words from. "Hey, hey. What happened?"

Teeth pressing into the inside of my lips until it hurt, I swallowed and lifted my head to reveal Seth, crouched down in front of me with furrowed brows. He looked at me, pools of Earth peering into my presence. "What's going on?" he asked again, shifting around to sit on his knees.

I hiccuped, clenching my jaw as I shrugged, furiously blinking eyes focused on the floor.

With pursed lips, Seth took off his backpack to drop it on the floor, eyes not leaving mine. "Can I touch you?"

Shakily, I nodded. Fog filled up my head, wiping out everything else such that it felt foreign in my own mind ."Y-you're he-" I hiccuped again, "here.."

Seth smiled softly. "Of course." He reached over and pulled me into a hug, strong arms wrapped around my back as I buried my face in his shoulder. My lungs filled with a subtle jasmine I hadn't smelled before, a sweet scent normally hidden beneath the sea breeze that always hung around him.

Like one of those massive waves slowly rolling toward the shore, I dug my fingers deeper into his shirt to stop the fucking trembling with no success. More tears streamed down my face and I felt myself shaking under Seth's grip.

"It's okay, you're okay. I'm right here, yeah?" He let out a soft breath, rubbing my back in soothing figures that allowed the oxygen to travel back to my lungs.

I only held on tighter, nodding into the crane of his neck. The snake was gone. "I c-can breathe."

If it were possible, I could hear him smile. "Yeah? That's good," he mumbled into my shoulder, continuing the soothing patterns. After a few more seconds, he gently pushed me back, hands not leaving my shoulders. "Take a breath."

Doing as he said, I allowed the air to finally fill up my lungs before releasing it through my nose. I messily wiped the tears off of my face, sniffing and swallowing. "I... I don't know what happened."

Seth reached over and swiped away a curl that'd been sticking to my forehead. He glanced at me. "Was that the first time something like that happened?"

I don't know what it was. Hands fidgeting with themselves on my lap, I nodded again. "I think so."

His face softened even more as he reached over and placed his hands over mine. "Fidget with mine," he said, nodding at his hands.

My heart leaped into my throat, releasing a storm of insects to roar around my stomach. What the fuck am I supposed to do with your hands-?! Face heating up, I carefully grabbed his hand with the tattoos and turned it around to inspect them. Just like last time, the iris stood surrounded by little butterflies fluttering up his thumb, and the morse code. I counted seven dots and two little floating dashes. Frowning, I glanced up at Seth. "I wish I knew morse code."

He chuckled, a soft and gentle sound I didn't mind hearing every day. "I have a feeling it won't be long until you do." Seth smiled and got up, reaching out his hand for me to grab. "There's still some time left before lunch's over. You wanna come outside for a bit?"

I placed my hand in his and let him pull me up, something that had happened more often than I'd like to admit by this point. "That'd be nice."

-

Warm sunlight caressed my face as we walked down the gravel path, shadowed by the calming leaves above us. We didn't stop walking until sandy gravel made way for vibrant green grass, soft and freshly mowed with not a single visual imperfection; just like anything else that belonged to HHA's property.

It felt fluffy to my arms when I sat down, elbows resting behind me for support. Seth copied my actions and sat down beside me, face highlighted in the sun's golden cast. There were no heaves of chatting students here, no hundreds of eyes following your every move with a polite smile. Simply the sweet chirping of songbirds, and distinct crashing of waves against the shore.

"Back in Miami, it was every man for himself."

Seth glanced at me with curious eyes, nodding slowly as to say, 'go on.'

I watched two birds twirl around one another at the branch they called home. "If you even looked at the wrong person, you'd get shoved into a wall... or punched in your face. Safe to say I had no friends. It wasn't all bad, I'd just listen to music and pretend no one else was there."

The birds had settled into their nest, happily nuzzling into each other. I bit my lip. "Took me a while to do that, though. My first day was during Aleksia's last year, so I'd stick to her like glue. Wouldn't let her go anywhere without me. Then one day, she'd encouraged me to eat lunch with some other people," I chuckled dryly, "I can now imagine she was probably tired of being known as the girl with a little brother. I remember she'd been standing at the cafeteria entrance, promising she would be there if anything happened."

The heels of Seth's Vans scraped over the gravel. "And did something happen?"

Chewing at my cheek, I shook my head. This is so stupid. "I kinda zoned out after a while, trying to keep up with everything around me. When I looked back, she was gone. A-and I just- I kind of.. panicked-?"

Seth's eyes softened. "I'm-

"You waved at me in the cafeteria a-and I looked away and th-then you were-" I buried my head in my knees, hands raking through my hair. So fucking stupid. "You were gone."

I felt a hand on my face, gently pulling me up. Blurred with those stupid tears, I glanced at Seth, whose hand was still on my jaw.

"Next time I'll stop by to say hi, okay?" He smiled when I nodded, widening into a grin as he retracted his hand to ruffle my hair instead. "And you can always text me. Or call me, or anything. Run after me for all I care. You promise to remember that?"

I found myself smiling to an uncontrollable extent, enjoying the feeling of his hand in my hair for the few seconds it lasted. "Promise."

"Good." He grinned, eyes narrowing as he looked at my face. A breeze caught his hair right then, allowing the sun's soft wings to spill onto all the pretty features of his face. "Has anyone ever told you you have really pretty eyes?"

Ohmygodimgonnacrash. Heat surged through my skin as I averted my eyes to focus on a little ladybug crawling around the grass, suddenly fascinated by its various methods of climbing from blade to blade. Shakily exhaling through my nose, I found myself chuckling. "S-someone has.. a few times."

Seth laughed, so raw and real I had to stop myself from kissing him right then and there. Wait- what?! Oh my fucking god I did not just think tha-

"Shit, I think I just heard the bell. C'mon, I'll walk with you to your next class, I'm done for today anyway."

"O-okay. Yeah."

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Mwuahahahhaahahahhahahahah >:) I love them so much it's unreal😭💗

Tell me, how was that lore-drop? I was originally planning for them to just hang out and you know. talk. But then I was like no no must make sad. and then fluff :P

Don't forget to click that little star down there, thank you! Stay hydrated and cya next week<3