“Collie!”

                Someone was shaking me lightly. I groaned and buried my face against whatever it was already on. Something smooth and slightly cool.

                “Collie!”              

                I tightened my arms around something and tried to block out the noise. Whoever it was let out a sigh and shook me harder.

                “What?” I growled, picking my head up and forcing my eyes open.

                They widened a little as I realized that I had been sleeping on Misha. My head had been on his chest, and my arms were wrapped around his waist.

                “You, ah, you were shifting around in your sleep and it…I mean, you were rubbing up against some personal spaces…I just wanted to wake you up before…you know…” He blushed.

                “Even in my dreams I want to hump you,” I said with a sigh, rolling off of him and checking to make sure that I didn’t have any morning wood.

                It took me a minute to remember why I was in Misha’s room. But then I remembered last night, and felt depression and anger starting to battle for dominance inside of me.

                Misha wrapped his arms around me tightly. “I know what you’re thinking about, Collie. Please don’t think about it. I’m going to take you out today, and cheer you up. I promise,” he said, kissing my bare back. He moved up, kissing the back of my neck. He shifted me and finally kissed my lips, his hands moving to my lower back and pulling me closer to himself.

                I fought off my feelings, sinking into the kiss. I forced myself to keep it at simply a kiss. Misha and I always got fired up too quickly. I knew it wouldn’t be long before we slept together. But how many times would we come so close, only to have something disturb us?

                Misha pulled away from me and got up, offering me his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet, not releasing my hand as we left his bedroom together. I realized that Misha must have pulled some shorts on after I fell asleep.

                “Aw Misha, I miss my penguin view,” I said with a frown.

                “Shut up!” he whined as we entered the kitchen.

                “Misha, tell me you did not wear your penguin boxers?” Mrs. Redner said, glancing at her son as if he was an idiot.

                “How was I supposed to know Collie would wind up seeing them?” he asked defensively, looking down and fixing his shorts, pulling them up so that they covered one of the penguins that had been peeking out.

                Mrs. Redner groaned and shook her head. “Misha, honey, your father and I love you, but you’re an idiot and a dork.”

                “Gee mom, thanks!” he whined.

                At least she didn’t call you a faggot or an abomination, I thought bitterly.

                I shook that thought of my head. It was only going to drag my mood down, and that wasn’t fair to Misha.

                “Collie, your mom called me this morning, demanding to know where you were. I told her I didn’t know, but if I saw you, I would call her. So until you’re ready to go home, we’re just going to pretend I’m blind,” Mrs. Redner said, pouring coffee into a cup for herself.

                “Thank you Mrs. Redner,” I said, honestly grateful.

                “Surprisingly, she didn’t use any anti-gay slurs about Misha. But I’m going to assume that that’s only because she knows you don’t insult my child and get to live,” Mrs. Redner said with a sweet smile.

                “But you insult me all the time! You and Collie are always calling me a dork!” Misha pointed out.

                “There’s a difference between insulting someone and pointing out the truth,” Mrs. Redner said, patting Misha on the head. “Anyways, Emma left for school a few hours ago-you boys slept in pretty late- and I’m about to head out. So, you’ll have the house to yourselves. And as much as I would love for the two of you to remain virgins, I see Misha already giving you bedroom eyes Collie.”

                “Mom!” Misha cried, blushing furiously. “I wasn’t even looking at Collie!”

                Mrs. Redner smirked. “Sure you weren’t Misha. Bye boys!”

                She waved to us as she left the house. I laughed and glanced at Misha, raising an eyebrow and smirking.

                “Still shooting me bedroom eyes, huh?” I asked playfully.

                “Can you blame me?” he asked, shrugging helplessly and gesturing at me. “You’re not wearing a shirt, and you were basically grinding on me in your sleep.”

                “Which is strange, because I was dreaming about a flying chair. Huh,” I said, shaking my head.

                “Well, you have some strange sexual fantasies. Anyways, sit down. I’ll make us some breakfast,” he said, releasing my hand and beginning to dig through his cupboards.

                Eventually, he made us each an egg and cheese wrap. He sat down across from me and we ate in comfortable silence.

                “So what are we doing today?” I asked.

                “That’s a surprise,” he said with a wink.

                We finished eating and went upstairs. I frowned, realizing that I didn’t actually have any of my own clothes to wear.

                “You can borrow some of my clothes,” Misha said, as if reading my mind. “Just wear the same shorts you wore yesterday. I’m too tall for you to comfortably wear my shorts.”

                He tossed me a shirt that read “Keep the Earth clean, it’s not Uranus. Mr. Mendrick’s Environmental class 2011” on the front, and “Redner” on the back.

                “A school shirt? Really Misha?” I asked with a sigh.

                “Shut up,” he said, pouting. “It was the first thing I grabbed. Here, I’ll get you a different shirt.”

                He reached for the shirt, but I held it out of his grip. I shook my head at him, glancing at his last name printed on the back.

                “No. I want to wear it. I want people to ask me if I’m dating your sister,” I said.

                “Collie!” he said, his pout getting deeper.

                I laughed and kissed him. “Calm down. You know I’m just kidding. I’m going to go change in the bathroom.”

                I left his bedroom and went into the bathroom, pulling my shorts and the shirt on. I grabbed a spare toothbrush out of one of the cupboards and brushed my teeth quick, turning on my cell phone as I did so.

                My eyes widened a little. “Shit. Colin,” I hissed, having forgotten about my brother. I had about a million missed calls and texts from him.

                I dialed his number and held the phone up to my ear, wondering if he would answer. He was probably in class and-

                “COLLIE!”

                I winced. “Shit Colin, don’t make me deaf,” I grumbled.

                “Where are you?” he demanded, ignoring my question.

                “Look, I’m staying with Misha for a few days. Don’t tell mom and dad, Colin. Please. Promise me that you won’t,” I said seriously.

                Colin hesitated before sighing. “Fine, I won’t tell them.”

                “Did dad talk to you?” I asked him, suddenly worried about him.

                “Yea,” Colin said, his voice bitter. “And boy was he pissed when I told him I wasn’t breaking up with Ant. Screamed his head off and went downstairs to get you. That’s when we found out you had snuck off. Mom called Misha’s house, but Mrs. Redner said she hadn’t seen you. I figured she was probably lying to protect you. Anyways, dad called Ant’s house and tried to threaten Mrs. Andrews to keep Ant away from me. She told him to piss off and go Google Milk before he opened his mouth about how unsuccessful homosexuals are. I told dad that I loved Ant and would never leave him, and he got so mad that he…hell, he almost hit me. But he stopped himself and said he was going to grab you, and we were going to talk about staying with grandma.”

                “You tell me right away if he ever fucking hits you Colin,” I snarled. “I don’t care if he’s our dad. He can’t hit you. Neither can mom. Hell, no one can. And you better call me if he tries to ship you off with grandma. Get out of there immediately, and call me.”

                “Collie, I’ll be fine,” he said gently. “Don’t worry about it. Just…Just keep in touch with me, okay?”

                “I promise,” I said.

                “Alright. I have to get back to class now. Bye,” he said and hung up.

                I put my phone in my pocket and took a calming breath before leaving the bathroom. I went back into Misha’s room and he looked up at me from his bed.

                “On the phone with your brother?” he guessed. “I could kind of hear you.”

                “Yea. Don’t worry about it,” I said, pulling him to his feet and kissing him. “Nice shirt, by the way.”

                He looked down at his shirt, which proudly proclaimed “I’m so gay I shit rainbows”, a little pride flag under the saying. He blushed and shrugged.

                “Darren got it for me for my 19th birthday as a joke,” he explained, grinning a little. “I kind of like it.”

                “Hey, you’re 20th birthday is coming up. Do you, uh, want anything?” I asked, praying that Misha was too dorky to ask for birthday sex.

                “Just promise that you’ll be with me on my birthday. That’s all,” he said with a cute smile.

                “I promise,” I said, taking in his appearance.

                His cute smile, his stylishly messy hair, the stubble on his face, the tight arms of his shirt making his muscles look more profound. He was that confusing combination of cute and sexy that I loved.

                “Alright, let’s go to wherever it is that we’re going,” I said.

                Misha pulled on one of his ever-present plaid shirts over his shitting rainbows one, leaving it unbuttoned. I followed him out of the house and into his car.

                “Um, Collie? Can you, you know, not pay attention to where we’re going for a little? I want to surprise you without having to blindfold you,” he said.

                I raised an eyebrow at him. “Blindfold me? Are you trying to be kinky, or trying to play pin the tail on the donkey?”

                “Haha, very funny,” he said, rolling his eyes.

                “Fine, fine. I won’t pay attention to where we’re going,” I promised, plugging my iPod into his car. “But only if I get to play my music.”

                “Deal,” he said, kissing my cheek and pulling out of the driveway.

                I put on Collide by Go Radio. It was my favorite song, and I found some of the lyrics occasionally dancing around my head when I was with Misha.

                “And you be the reason, I’ll be the rhyme. We’ve both got way too much ahead to worry about what we left behind,” I mumbled along. I kept my eyes on my iPod, not paying attention to where it was we were driving.

                Misha reached over, carefully holding my bad hand as he drove. I choked back a gasp of pain as he held it. Hm, maybe I should go to the doctor’s…Nah. I’d just keep icing it until it was better.

                I set my iPod down and pulled my bad hand away from Misha’s, replacing it with my good one. I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes, tracing circles on the back of Misha’s hand with my thumb. It was soothing.

                “You did this Collier. You broke this family.”

                My dad’s words exploded in my head. I tried to focus on the music playing, but I just couldn’t. Everything he had said to me last night was replaying in my head with sickening clarity.

                “After what I just saw…I’m ashamed to even call you my son.”

                “Hey dad look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan?” Simple Plan sang.

                I found myself starting to tremble, and just prayed that Misha didn’t notice. I fought off my emotions desperately.

                The car came to a steady stop, but I kept my eyes closed, afraid that they would water if I opened them. I heard Misha shift the car into park and kill the engine.

                “Collie?”

                I very slowly opened my eyes, meeting his concerned gaze. I looked down at our hands and blushed, realizing that I had been squeezing his hand. I released it slowly.

                “Collie, I know that something happened last night. You promised to tell me these things,” he said, reaching out and brushing my hair away from my face.

                I looked out of the window and saw that we were parked at a gas station. People were going about their normal business, caught up in their own lives and troubles.

                “Nothing happened last night Misha. Well, besides that embarrassing scene you had to witness. But other than that, it was just the usual ‘Rawr Collier you’re not gay’ and ‘Yes dad I like dick’ argument,” I lied with a shrug.

                “Look me in the eyes and tell me that it doesn’t hurt you,” he said.

                I met his eyes, fully intending to lie. I didn’t want to worry Misha with my problems. I could handle everything on my own.             

                But then my eyes met his, and the concern and love in them froze me. He was so worried about me, and desperate to help any way he could.

                “It doesn’t hurt me,” I said, my voice unconcerned. But I had dropped my gaze from his. “Just forget about it Misha. It doesn’t bother me, and it doesn’t hurt me. Can we go now? I’ve already seen about five people walking into this gas station in their Micky Mouse pajamas, and it’s making me sick.”

                Misha reached over and pulled me into a tight hug, surprising me. My eyes widened a little, and I hugged him back, burying my face against his chest as I fought back tears.

                “I’m ashamed to even call you my son.”

                “I know you’re hurt Collie. And that’s okay. It’s not weak to be hurt, especially when it’s your family. But I swear you’re not alone. I’m always here for you. You can trust me with anything Collie. I’ll be right by your side, and I’ll do anything I possibly can to help you,” Misha said sincerely.

                “Stop being sappy,” I managed to choke out. “We’re in the parking lot of a freaking gas station, and you’re trying to be some romantic sap.”

                I clutched him tighter and he laughed softly, brushing his lips against my neck. I pulled away from him, quickly wiping my eyes to make sure they were dry.

                “Well, we’re not here for nothing. I wanted an energy drink,” he said, getting out of the car.

                I followed him and we went into the store together. Misha grabbed a Monster, and offered one to me.

                “No money. I left my wallet in my bedroom,” I said with an annoyed sigh.

                “Too bad. I’m paying,” he said, kissing my cheek and starting towards the checkout with the Monsters.

                “Misha! You’re not paying for me!” I said, following after him and grabbing his arm. “Go put it back. You’re not going to pay for me.”

                Misha held out his wallet, waving it in my face. “I’m going to pay, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” he said with a smirk.

                I reached for his wallet, but he held it just out of my reach. I cursed under my breath, suddenly hating the fact that he was taller than me. I remember when he used to be the same height that I currently was, but he had hit a growth spurt when he was 18.

                “Dammit Misha. Stop being taller than me!” I said, screwing my dignity and jumping in an attempt to snatch it out of his hands.

                “Well, I am almost three years older than you Collie. So that’s to be expected,” he said, effortlessly tucking his wallet into his pocket and heading towards the checkout again.

                “You’re not doing this all day,” I warned him.

                “Are you planning to stop me?” His smirk grew wider.

                “I’m sure I can do something,” I grumbled, crossing my arms as we stood in the small line at the checkout.

                “I promise not to use my money to buy you food or drinks for the rest of the day on one condition,” he said.

                “Oh god. Does it involve your penguin boxers?”

                He blushed and playfully whacked my arm. “No. You have to kiss me,” he said simply.

                “You’re such a dork. You don’t need to make a deal for that. But fine, deal.” I held my hand out to him, and he shook it.

                He pulled my hand, drawing my body to his and kissing me lovingly. He pulled away but didn’t release my hand, smiling at me.

                “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked with a wink.

                “It was absolutely awful. Your lips are so chapped Misha,” I said in disgust.

                He looked at me in horror, running his fingers over his lips. “Are they really? Oh god Collie, I’m sorry! I can get some chap stick while we’re here and-”

                I laughed and he stopped babbling, shooting me a confused look. I shook my head at him, squeezing his hand and pecking his lips.

                “I was kidding,” I assured him.

                “Don’t do that!” he whined, setting the Monsters down on the counter and pulling out his wallet. He paid the cashier and handed me my Monster as we left the store and got in the car.

                “So can I finally pay attention to where we’re going?” I asked as Misha started driving again.

                Misha sighed and nodded. “Yes, I suppose we’re out far enough now.”

                I looked out of the window and realized that I didn’t have a clue where we were. I sighed and turned my attention back to my iPod, deciding that it wasn’t worth the trouble to try to figure out what Misha had in mind for us.

                After a few minutes, Misha parked the car again and I looked out of the window. I furrowed my brow. We were in an old parking lot, surrounded by just a few other cars. Nothing was in sight except for a bank located next to the parking lot.

                “Wow Misha. A bank. How romantic.”

                “Collie! We’re not here for the bank.” He rolled his eyes and got out of the car, motioning at me to follow him.

                I got out of the car and he held my hand, leading me out of the parking lot and around the corner. My eyes widened a little as I looked at the scene in front of me.

                “A fair?” I asked.

                “Do you want to go somewhere else?” he asked, suddenly looking nervous. “Because I’ll take us wherever you want to go. I just thought that, you know, fairs are fun and…” He trailed off and stared at me anxiously.

                “You’re a dork. Let’s go,” I said, tugging him through the entrance and over to the ticket booth.

                Misha paid for us to get bracelets that would allow us to ride as many times as we wanted. I looked around and grabbed is hand, tugging him over to the Paratrooper ride.

                “I should have known,” he said, laughing. “Want to go on the music express next?”

                I nodded as we flashed our bracelets and sat on the ride together. The attendant made sure we were in the ride securely before moving on to help the next person.

                The ride started up, and Misha slipped his arm around my waist as it spun us forward, gaining speed. It blew Misha’s hair into his eyes and I laughed.

                I pushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed the tip of his nose. We found ourselves laughing as the ride reversed, flying backwards now.

                “Don’t lose your flip-flops,” I teased, glancing down at Misha’s feet.

                “Oh shut up Collie,” he said, laughing and wiggling his toes.

                The ride ended and we got off together, faintly dizzy. We made our way to the music express and stood in line together, Misha resting his elbow on my shoulder and leaning against me as he texted on his phone.

                “That one’s cuter!”

                I looked over as some girl hushed her friend, blushing. She looked up and noticed me, blushing more and quickly dropping her gaze.

                “The cute one heard you!” she said angrily to her friend. She was a tall, fairly attractive brunette girl.

                Her friend, a tall blond girl, snickered. “He’s not the cute one. The one texting is way cuter!” she argued.

                “I dare you to go talk to him then!” the brunette said.

                Now the blond girl blushed. “Uh…fine! I will!” she said, picking her head up confidently and eyeing Misha.

                I fought off a smirk as she started to make our way over to us. Oh, this should be amusing. I knew for a fact that a lot of Emma’s friends hit on Misha, and they were always horribly disappointed once they found out he was gay.

                Despite having a total dorky personality, Misha himself was very attractive. I glanced up at him, with his smooth skin. He had a scar on his lip, and one just above his eyebrow, the only flaws of his skin. He had those emerald green eyes, with the light blue that would occasionally shine through depending on what he was wearing.

                He was tall and slender, but not disgustingly so. He had that perfect combination of weight and height. Today, he had worn his nose ring. Normally, he was too lazy and would just leave in a stud, but today, he had changed it back to the silver ring. His hair had fallen back into place once we had gotten off the ride.

                “Excuse me,” the blond girl said, stepping up in front of Misha.

                Misha lowered his phone, keeping his elbow on my shoulder. “Yes?” he asked curiously.

                “You look really familiar. What’s your name?” the blond asked innocently. Ah, the old “you look familiar” line. How lame could this chick get?

                I snorted and shook my head, a slight laugh escaping me. Misha glanced at me curiously, and the blond shot me a look.

                “What?” she asked me.

                “Nothing, nothing. Go ahead and tell her your name. Maybe she actually knows you and isn’t just trying to hit on you,” I said, smirking a little.

                Misha looked at me in surprise, and the blond girl blushed. Misha removed his elbow off of my shoulder and poked it into my side lightly.

                “Aw, quit being rude Collie. Darren and I use to come out around this area a lot together last year. Maybe she really does know me.” He turned to the blond and offered her a smile. “Sorry about him. My name is Misha.”

                “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else. Sorry about that Misha,” she said, saying his name slowly, as if testing out how much she liked it.

                “That’s alright,” Misha said, polite as ever, the little dork.

                “My name’s Audrey,” the blond said.

                “I don’t recall him asking,” I said, getting annoyed by her. I was here to have a good time with my boyfriend, not watch some girl try and fail to hit on him.

                “Collie.” Misha rolled his eyes.

                “I’m just trying to be nice,” Audrey said angrily, glaring at me.

                “Look, I’m going to make this real simple for you and your brunette friend over there,” I said.

                I turned and cupped Misha’s face in my hands, bringing my lips to his. I kissed him rough and hard on his mouth before pulling away.

                “He’s gay, I’m gay, we’re here on a date, leave us alone,” I said flatly.

                “Oh- She really was trying to flirt with me!” Misha said, finally understanding.

                I stared at him before face-palming myself. “You’re so hopeless.”

                Audrey had paled as she watched us. “You’re…gay?”

                I took Misha’s hand in mine. “No. We make out because we think it makes us look sexy.” I rolled my eyes and gestured to the way Misha was dressed, stopping to point at his shirt. “Would a straight guy ever dress like this?”

                “Hey! What are you trying to say?” Misha asked with a pout.

                “I’m just saying, you can dress very…well, gay,” I said with a shrug.

                “You’re wearing my clothes Collie,” he reminded me, his pout getting deeper.

                “Yes, and I look amazing in your shirt. But that’s beside the point.”

                “Gay,” Audrey mumbled, frowning at us. “Always the attractive ones, huh?”

                I shook my head at her. “Nah, my brother is gay and the dude looks like he got bashed in the face with a rock.”

                “Collie…you and Colin are twins.”

                “We are? Gee, thanks Misha. I never would’ve figured that out on my own!” I said in fake excitement. “I should go call my parents and tell them I have a twi-”

                I paused and snapped my mouth shut, my dad’s words coming back to me. I had broken our family.

                “Collie?” Misha’s voice was full of concern.

                He turned to Audrey and offered her a friendly smile. “Sorry, but we are gay. Anyways, I think we should get on the ride now. Nice to meet you Audrey.”

                He pulled me past her and handed our tickets to the attendant. We got on the ride together and Misha hugged me tightly, kissing me.

                “Are you okay?” he asked, gently stroking my cheek. “You’re so pale.”

                “Fine,” I said shakily. “I’m fine Misha.” I cleared my throat and met his eyes with a steady look. “We’re here to have fun, and we’re going to have some fun.”

                He smiled and kissed me again as the ride started. The force of it had me squished against Misha, but he didn’t seem to mind as he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my cheek.

                We ended up going on rides for the next few hours. When it finally fell dark, we walked back to the car together, both of us exhausted, but beyond happy. I had given in and let Misha buy us dinner at the fair when my stomach wouldn’t quit growling.

                “Today has been amazing Misha,” I said, yawning and leaning back against the seat. “I couldn’t thank you enough. I wish we could do this kind of thing every day, but I should probably go back to school tomorrow.”

                Misha sighed and nodded. “Yea, I have class and work tomorrow. But come back to my house with Emma. I’ll hang out with you in between class and work. Feel free to stay with us as long as you want. My parents and Emma love having you at the house, and you know I never want you to leave.”

                He reached over and held my hand, smiling at me. I smiled back before looking out of the window. I found myself nodding off.

                                                                                                ***

                I cracked my eyes open, looking up at the stars. I looked over and realized that Misha was carrying me up his driveway to the front door.

                “Misha?” I mumbled sleepily.

                “Sh, go back to sleep Collie. I’ll carry you to my room,” he said, entering the house and shutting the door with his hip. He shifted me slightly and locked the door before carrying me upstairs to his bedroom.

                He set me down on his bed and slid out of his plaid shirt before lying next to me. He pulled me into his arms and pulled the covers over us.

                I snuggled up against him, a little disappointed that he was sleeping in a shirt tonight. But I was too tired to tell him to take it off, or to take off the T-shirt I was wearing.

                “Goodnight Collie,” Misha said, pecking my lips.

                “Tonight was perfect Misha. Thank you,” I said, my heavy lids dropping.

                Misha gently rubbed my back as I tumbled back off to sleep. He pressed his lips against mine again.

                “I love you Collie,” he whispered, holding me to him tighter.

                That probably should’ve alarmed me a little, but I was so tired that I didn’t consider whether or not I loved him back. Instead, a small smile came to my face at his words as I drifted off to sleep.