TAEHYUNG

The weeks I had been away from the flat were the hardest of my life.

Despite being back at home with my family, my heart was elsewhere. How could I "take a break" or "rest" when my insides were screaming for JungKook and his arms around me?

I couldn't sleep without him. I couldn't eat without him. I felt scared without him.

I would sit in front of the TV without actually seeing it. The dog would come and sit on my lap, as if knowing that my heart was broken, that I needed comforting. The small, furry body gave me a modicum of warmth.

JungKook's teary face was the only thing that kept flashing in front of my eyes, over and over and over again until I couldn't help but to cry until absolute exhaustion overtook me.

I took to lying in the hammock in the back garden. I was deaf to the birds, I didn't see any of the flowers even though the garden used to be my favourite place. Now it felt dead to me.

The fabric that surrounded my body when I lay in the hammock was the only thing that even remotely resembled JungKook's embrace. The gentle swinging in the breeze, I imagined that was him breathing next to me, the pillow in my embrace was his warm body. Only there, I slept brief fitful moments before the nightmares would wake me. When I gasped for air, covered in cold sweat.

*

The doorbell rang. I didn't even bother getting up from the couch, I knew Mother would fly to the door, desperately happy over the interruption to our malaise.

"Taehyung honey, you have a visitor." My mother hollered from the door, with clearly fake joviality. Bless her, she had been trying so hard to help me, to comfort me, to be there for me. I think I might have died if it hadn't been for my mother.

Namjoon stood in the lounge doorway.

He looked tired and worried. Instantly I panicked.

"Is JungKook okay!? What's wrong?" I stood up and ran to him, grasping his sleeve.

He smiled a little smile, rolling his eyes.

"He's fine. And I'm fine too, thanks for asking."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Namjoon." I said quietly, smiling for the first time in weeks.

"How are you?" I asked him, waving at him to sit down on the couch next to me.

"Don't worry about me, how are you? You don't look very well, you've lost a lot of weight..." his eyes filled with worry which was enough to get my tears going.

"I'm having trouble...eating." I said under my breath, swallowing hard, trying to contain the hot tears -how did I still have some left...?

"Well, I think you should pack your bags, I'm taking you out to dinner!" He said brightly and stood up, offering his hand.

Knowing it wasn't his fault he was the one to part with the bad news, I had long since forgiven him for playing a part in the company making me leave. I still remained suspicious though, as I felt I had lost some of the absolute faith I had in our leader. Hesitatingly, I lifted my hand to his.

"Why do I need to bring bags if we're going out to dinner?" I was confused.

He looked at me and smiled brightly.

"Because we're eating in Seoul." He announced, proudly.

My heart skipped a beat. What was he saying!? Could he be saying the very thing I most wanted to hear!?!?

Seeing my inkling hope, he confirmed my thoughts.

"Yes, we're going back home." I screamed and jumped on him, hanging off his neck, I grabbed his face and smacked a big kiss on his cheek before trying to suffocate him in my embrace again.

"OKOKOKOKOKOKOK.... calm down." He said laughing, his glasses askew.

"MUMUMUMUMUMUMUM!!!!" I shouted from the top of my lungs. "INEEDTOGOWHEREAREMYBAGS!!" running up and down the stairs I set the dog off and he was jumping up and down, barking at me, elated, as if knowing what the good news meant.

Mother appeared in the doorway, smiling with her eyes brimming with tears.

"I know honey, I've already packed everything for you. Namjoon called earlier." Her voice was so full of love, and my tears started again. I ran to her, hugging her waist tightly, my face on her chest.

"I love you, Mummy." She always giggled when I called her mummy like I were a two-year-old. "I love you too baby. I am so happy to see you smile, honey." She was choking back her tears.

And were on our way. Never before had the journey to Seoul felt that long.

*

The flat was quiet when I arrived. Everyone was either at the studio or sleeping.

Namjoon had dropped me off with the bags and said he'd grab some food.

I knew he just wanted to give us some time to reacquaint with each other in private.

The room was dimly lit, and messy.

Clothes and dirty dishes were everywhere. Amongst it all there was a lump on the bed under the messy sheets. Only a single naked foot indicated someone was in the bed.

My breath shook from all the emotion. Would he be upset with me? Angry?

I removed my coat and snuck into the bed.

Feeling his broad back in front of me, I wrapped my arm around him and snuggled into his back, with my nose sinking into his messy hair. Automatically, my lips pressed gently onto his neck and I could not stop the tears from flowing.

I had missed him so much I felt my insides had been ripped out. It wasn't until this moment that I realised how much I had actually missed him, how much I had lost by not being with him...

Resting my face against his warm back, I gripped him, hard, while the sobs took over my whole body.

I felt a grip on my wrist and instantly JungKook turned over.

"What... how... how are you here? Is this real? Am I still sleeping?"

His long fingers cupped my face, wiping my tears with his thumbs, he tried to see my eyes in the dimness.

I struggled to speak. Nodding, I said. "Yess, ss, yes. I'm here." Immediately he crushed me into him, pulling my face into his neck, his arms like a vice around me.

"Oh my god, it's really you. It's. really. You." His nose sunk into my hair and he breathed deeply, his hands travelling my back, up and down, still in disbelief, checking that I was really there.

"I missed you so much I thought I was going to die..." JungKook whispered, lifting my face to him. His lips brushed against mine with the softest of touches.

"I love you."

Reaching up, I caressed his cheek.

"I love you too."

Finally, I was able to sleep. His arms around me, my arms around him, his leg over mine and mine between his -we were entirely intertwined, in body and soul. I couldn't move a muscle and it's the safest I had ever felt. I'd never leave him again.

NAMJOON

I snuck back into the flat as quietly as I could. Listening out for sounds and hearing none, I tiptoed in.

Taehyung's bags were on the corridor outside the room door, strewn about, abandoned carelessly. I smiled.

Wanting to see everything was ok, I went to check on them.

Peeking through the gap in the door, I could see them on the bed, in one big lump. Opening the door slightly further, I snuck in to switch the light off after throwing a blanket over them.

There they were, like two peas in a pod, asleep, wrapped around each other so tightly that a locksmith would have trouble unlocking them.

Although regret was a huge part of my feelings, it was overtaken by feelings of happiness and accomplishment -I had fixed this. They were happy, we were happy. Everything would be ok.

I felt free of worry for the first time in weeks and it was a wonderful feeling.

Tiptoeing back into my room, I went to sleep, dreaming of wonderful things to come.