Author's note: hey guys. I didn't mention this in the previous chapter but this novel would span over a few years so look out for the time skips. chapter 2

The party is going on in earnest. There is lots of drinking, screaming and dancing. I can't even see the floor and I keep bumping into people. This party is wild. There are girls everywhere and many of them are smiling at me and touching me. They like me. They want me to ask them out. They want to go to a quiet corner with me and have a good time.

Yet all I am doing is dancing, drinking, and staring at the person sitting at the bar. Sarawat of course came with me. There he is looking like he belonged there, but at the same time like he was above everyone else. I guess his rich boy vibes are hard to miss even in this bad lighting. He was put out when I informed him that I was going to the club tonight.

"I'm beat, "he said, "I don't feel like going anywhere."

"Who said you had to come?"

He sat up on the bed—my bed—all tiredness pushed away. "What? You are going alone?"

"Yup" I was putting on my accessories in a jolly mood, already eager to be dancing. I was humming a song I couldn't quite remember since it's been so long since I have been to a club.

"Why all of a sudden. Can't we just stay in and order food."

"You do that, I know the game took a lot out of you. You didn't even go to celebrate your win with the team."

"Well." Sarawat yawned. "This week has been a lot busier than the others. Why do you have to go to a club all of a sudden?"

"I need to get a girlfriend," I announced. If I have to humiliate myself once more time by expecting some kind of romantic development between me and Sarawat, I might just lose my mind. He is my best friend, he is male and he is obviously straight as a knife. He isn't having a sexuality crisis like me.

"And you need to go to a club for that?"

"You can't blame me, all the girls in my department are either taken or career-driven and not interested in romance. It's not like I can just walk up to any girl on the street and ask her out."

"I can hook you up, you know."

"No way!" I turned down the offer a little too vehemently and we both hear the awkward silence.

"What the—"now he looked displeased and a little suspicious. "What, you don't like the girls I know."

"No offense, Sarawat, but the girls you know are way out of my league for one thing and if they decide to date me they would only be dating me for you. Plus they are just too expensive to keep around."

"What do you mean they are out of your league." he laughed at me. "You are hot, Tine."

I tickled to the root of my hair with pleasure at the words and the way he said 'You are hot, Tine.' I was tempted to tease him, ask how hot he thought I am, and prolong the topic till he could maybe sense that I could be something more than a friend to him. I had the most random thought sometimes.

I cringed and looked him in the eye. "Still don't want to."

"Okay fine. I guess I better go get ready."

"You don't have to come with me, Sarawat."

"You are a lightweight, Tine. Do you think I am going to be able to sleep knowing you are out there drunk? I don't think so."

"I can handle my drink," I said as he walked past me. "I don't need a babysitter, Okay!"

"Yeah, yeah."

Ugh. This is aggravating, were we really tied at the hip? And why instead of picking up girls am I watching Sarawat to make sure he doesn't get picked up by girls. What kind of a fucked up situation is this.

I can't focus on dancing like this. With a sigh, I return to the bar. "Hey, having fun?" I ask as I lean over his shoulder.

He smiles at me, the smile barely lasting a second before dropping into a frown. He shakes his head. "Can we go now?" it's funny how eager he sounds.

"Aw, tired of getting hit on?"

"Yeah. I am not in the mood for conversation let alone to flirt with anyone but it seems like everyone wants to flirt with me. A guy even hit on me just now." He nods towards a group of guys but I don't know which one he was referring to.

I didn't notice before but now my eyes scan the crowd. There were guys and girls kissing, a typical scene, but there were also guys and guys grinding on each other. I didn't know this was a mixed club. Not that I had a problem with it, but it sounds slightly like Sarawat did.

"That's why you want to leave, did you hate it that much?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then did you like it?"

"what are you talking about?"

Yeah, what am I talking about? It's not like I know the guy who hit on Sarawat. Why am I defending him?

"What's up with you today. You keep acting weird."

Tell me about it, I wanted to tell him. If I didn't know how awkward things will get I would tell him about the trouble I'm having. In fact, if he wasn't the root cause of the problem then I would've already told him hoping he could fix it like he does everything in my life. Instead, I say,

"It's you. You keep distracting me because I know how tired you are and I can't focus and have fun. You should have let me come alone."

He stares at me for a moment from under his gorgeous eyebrows then he reached for his drink and took a sip. "I am not that tired. I can handle a few more hours. See any girl you like so far?"

I want to growl at him in frustration. "No," I say with a scoff. if I could just get him to go home then I can actually notice whether there are any girls I like.

"Well, I can still stay for another hour or two. keep looking."

Hm. It's useless; this guy will never leave me alone. In that case, I take the drink from his hand and return it to the bar. "Then come dance with me."

"Hmmm, what?"

He doesn't want to. I smirk slightly and pull him to his feet. "Don't be scared, it's just bodies."

He doesn't refuse but I see him wince and dodge the people. Sarawat isn't as outgoing or as cool as the population of our school thought. He was just two steps shy from being an introverted, inhibited gamer nerd. Just because he is hot and dresses really well people think he is a social butterfly, but I know his awkward truth.

"Do I really have to?" he begs with such a sweet puppy look and I can't help smiling.

"What's the point of coming if you are not going to dance, huh? Let's go." I gleefully pushed him into the sea of sweaty, horny bodies.

He suddenly slips and almost falls but I catch him against my chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's a little unsteady."

"unsteady?" it was then I notice that my friend was acting a little funny with his legs like they were jelly or something. "Hey, stand properly, what are you doing?"

Sarawat rubs his eyes and almost falls again. He is turning into a puddle right there. "Hey!" now I am really worried. "I thought you were drinking non-alcoholic drinks this whole time." He drove us here and was our ride back. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have taken one sip of alcohol.

"Is he okay?"

All of a sudden I'm looking up at a hottie. I mean a guy. There is a really good-looking guy staring at me and at Sarawat.

"I don't know, he is crashing hard." Sarawat's weight is pressing me down and it's all I can do to keep us on our feet.

"If he falls here you are going to get crushed." Like he said the music is still playing on and the people around us don't care that Sarawat was starting to babble. What the hell did he drink?

"Let's take him out of here," the hottie says. Whatever, I don't care. He is hottie for now.

"I'll help," he adds and I nod. I need the help because Sarawat wasn't a feather when he was sober and he certainly isn't now.

"Where are we going?" I and hottie are taking Sarawat up a flight of stairs.

"Somewhere he can sleep it off."

"Sleep what off?"

He doesn't answer which made me look at him over Sarawat's head. He catches my look and says, "He was probably drugged."

"Fuck, no." I was watching him the entire time. Did one of the many people that came to hit on him drug his drink?

"Yeah, it's common at this particular bar and your friend looks like the perfect target."

"Damn it, if only Ohm and Fong hadn't canceled on me last minute, they would have watched him."

"Is he... your friend or..."

I make a face at him before I answer, "friend. What else can he be?"

"Oh," he says and clears his throat in obvious awkwardness. He was obviously trying to make me ask, so I ask,

"What?"

"I just thought he was your boyfriend."

I choke on my spit and almost drop Sarawat. We both struggle to keep him between us but my hands are like slime. "wh-wh-why would you think that."

He eyes me with suspicion. "Why are you stammering?"

"Because you just assumed something weird. I mean are your eyes on the back of your head, we are obviously straight."

"He is but you... I can't say."

My face washes off all colors. "What about me. What do you want to say about me?"

He laughs at me and shakes his head. "You obviously don't want me to say it."

Yes please don't. The seconds went by then he adds,

"I guess you want to keep living in denial?"

"Hey, I just met you and you don't know what you are talking about."

He sighs and turns into a room. "Let's just leave it at that then."

We are quiet when we both drop Sarawat on the couch. It is a relief on my shoulder but hottie looks like it hadn't been that hard. He must be very fit under those clothes. His shoulders aren't any wider than Sarawat's though, Why am I still calling him hottie. "What's your name?" I ask.

"You want to know?"He is smirking and moving towards the window to pull it open. We are in a room full of junk like an old apartment slash storage room. It has so much random stuff and I look at them to hide how embarrassing this is.

"Well, you just helped me a lot. It would be rude not to ask."

"Oh, that's why." Hottie pulls out a cigarette. "It's San. You don't have to tell me your name, I already know."

"Huh?"

"He isn't exactly a nobody, "he nods at Sarawat. "And you are his... sidekick?"

"Sidekick? Whoa. I wouldn't go that far. At least call me his friend."

He lets out a laugh. "You are cute."

My face goes up in flame like I have never been called cute before. No actually, have I been called cute by anyone before. I shouldn't be this pleased that he thinks I am cute right?

"Are you..." I glance at him from under my eyelids, nervous to ask. "I mean are you, you know..."

He laughs again and adjusted himself on the window pane. "You are going to have to use the word, Tine."

"Really?" I groan and look at Sarawat. He has a weird look on his face, half-smile, and half frown. Was he dreaming right now? Shaking my head I look at San again. "Well, then I'll just ask. Are you...gay?"

"More often than not," he says. Was he intentionally trying to be cryptic? It's the last thing I need right now. Seriously.

"What does that mean?" I almost snap.

He smirks again which I can't find as charming as the first time, he is making a fool of me.

"I don't think that's the answer you are looking for, is it?" he puffs out smoke. "Why don't you ask me what you want to know"

"What I want to know?"

"Well honestly asking outright is probably too much for you." He snuffs out his cigarette against the windowpane and strolls over with a lithe casual grace Sarawat had in bounds and I lacked. He stands too close and I lean away from him. "There's a way you can find out without a silver of a doubt, you know. "

Well, that would be swell, but I don't say this. I should keep on the act that I am too shy to say it. Well, I am, it's not really an act but this is a good thing. I should find out once and for all what is really happening to me. My eyes skim Sarawat's face again. Good, he is still sleeping. "How?" my voice sounds broken. I am so nervous my heart feels like it's running a personal marathon.

"Well, it's really quite simple." San's breathe smells like cigarette and a funny thrill races through me. I don't know San and even though he goes to our school, our paths obviously don't cross very often. Maybe I can get the answer I am looking for from him. Even if the answer isn't what I want it to be, I still need to know. I can't continue to pretend that everything is like it used to be anymore.

"Tell me," I say, a little breathless. He is so close, our chests are even touching and I can't help glancing at his lips a few times. A girl's lips are always so soft and sweet, I like to kiss them over and over but how would a boy's lips feel and taste. I am almost salivating with curiosity. I really want to know how a boy's lips would feel and how different kissing San would be.

San's eyes are blue, which isn't very common. He probably isn't Thai but I don't know what country he could be from. He speaks Thai so well, like a native. When he licks his lower lip I jerk away but he catches my hand and pulls me close. "Everyone usually finds out like this..." he says in a really quiet voice I wouldn't have heard if I wasn't staring at his lips, waiting for him to move closer.

It's like he is trying to torture me on purpose. I am not naïve, I want to yell, just kiss me already. Then he did. For the briefest moment I didn't feel much, it was just two lips on each other, then San slants his head and captures my lower lip into his mouth and we are kissing.

"mmh!" I startle at the hand behind my head pushing me closer and a mouth roughly claiming mine so deeply, it drove me to the edge. I can't think. I can't even breathe. All of my attention is on how demanding this kiss is. I pull away to catch a breath.

"Are you a virgin?" San asks, breathing a little faster than before. He steps closer to me and kept me from fleeing, but fleeing didn't even occur to me.

"No, I am not!" I nearly shout. I am not a virgin but I didn't know kissing felt this good. What the hell? My world is imploding. Why did it feel so good? Was it supposed to feel this earth-shattering or am I just freaking out?

My face is captured and I am pulled into another kiss. I didn't mean to kiss back but San's mouth is so hard to resist, I was opening my mouth before I knew it. And he is just so good at this. Too good. I am kissing an experienced gay man, a total stranger and it feels this good, how would kissing Sarawat feel. Lust curl in my stomach at the thought and I was hard in an instant.

That freaked me out the most.

"No, no more." I push San off me and run out the door like a frightened child. I forgot what I was trying to know. That isn't want I wanted when I kissed him. I had hoped kissing San would make things clearer and they did, now I just have to deal with the fact that everything I thought I knew about myself isn't actually all true.

Calm down Tine, you are freaking out for no reason. At somewhere that looked like a balcony and a room, I pace back and forth. The term freaked out isn't even enough to describe what I am feeling. I make a list of my reason for freaking out in my head in the hopes that it would calm me down somehow.

Reason one, I kissed a total stranger. Not just a peck but a full-on lip lock for almost twenty seconds. That's forty seconds shy of a minute.

Reason two. He is a guy. A really good-looking, tall guy but a guy. I am supposed to be straight, I have only dated girls my entire life.

Reason three and the most pressing one. Sarawat was sleeping not more than two feet away when the kissing was going on. I even pictured kissing him too and... I got hard.

I am still hard, the reason no. four. Am I really turning gay right now? For Sarawat or am I just completely gay. Kissing that guy had felt good of course but I want to kiss Sarawat instead, reason no five.

"Relax," I whisper to myself and rub my face to bring back the color. What if Sarawat saw us kissing? Then he would know I am having a sexuality crisis, what if he avoids me because of it. I can't handle that on top of everything else.

No, Tine, there is no way he saw it. He would have said something and remember he was drugged. Yes, too drugged out to see the two guys kissing.

Wait.

Oh shit! Some creep drugged Sarawat and I just left him alone in that room with San. The creep could even have been San. "Oh no."

I rush out of the room and almost got lost. The hallways look so fucking similar. I nearly run past the room but catch sight of Sarawat on the couch and let out a sigh of relief. He is still sprawled the way I left him and totally deaf to the world. Thank goodness.

I look tentatively into the room for San but he isn't there. He left. Just like that. I lean in to see even more and without a doubt, there is no one but Sarawat in the room. A groan brings my attention to Sarawat's face.

"Hey," I rush over to his side and touch his slightly sweaty cheek. "Are you okay,"

He babbles something. Crap the drug hasn't worn off. I should probably make him drink water to get it out of his system faster. I start to rise, "wait, I'll be right back."

"No," he pulls my hand till I am sprawled on his chest. I meet his glassy eyes and I can't tell if he even sees me. "Let's just sleep."

"We can't sleep here, Sarawat."

"Why not," he mumbles already slipping away.

"Well, for one it is above a club and it doesn't look very clean... I am sure it gets cold too."

As if to answer me he snuggles my face to his chest. "Hey, listen to me. We can't sleep here. Let's just get you sort of sober and then we will go home."

He doesn't respond. Wow, what kind of drug completely wipes someone out this much? I look at his face. He is so handsome, Sarawat, and he is so good to me. Despite being dead tired he refused to let me go out alone. If he hadn't been so tired he would have noticed his drink getting drugged. It's my fault that he is like this. He cares about me so much.

I shift so I could sit but his hands remain on my waist. So clingy, I smile fondly and brush his hair from his forehead. I lean down till my forehead is pressed to his. He is the best thing in my life, I think, even as I watch his lips.

"Sarawat," I call, just to make sure he is really asleep. "Wake up if you can hear me."

He is completely still. I cup both his cheek with a smile. "Look at you so helpless, anyone could take advantage of you like this. You are lucky it's just me. Well, it's still risky. After all, I think I like you. I think I am turning gay and guess what, it's your fault. "

As if getting a response and because I know him so well I say in answer, "ah I see. You will take responsibility? Well, good. I was planning to do that anyway."

Just this once, I think before I shift down till my lips are touching Sarawat's. It is the warm unmoving lips of my best friend yet they made my chest feel so full and sweet. A one-sided kiss is what it was but it is the best kiss of my life. I pull away smiling. "Thank you for taking responsibility but I know..." you are not an option.

"You are my best friend. My most favorite person and nothing is going to change I promise."

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