Third Person POV:

FLASHBACKS:

Taehyung had expected everything.

As some of you might've guessed already, his life was pretty unpredictable. He had never been at ease. Even in his subconscious state, he would always be at alert.

Life had some sort of grudge against him, never wanting him to live a day without worrying to such an extent that he had to physically restrain from wanting to just end it all. All at once.

Despite going through all that, he had never, not even in his darkest dreams guessed that Jackson would be here standing in front of him, rage written all over his face.

One of his hand grabbing Taehyung's collar, messing his neatly pressed shirt, but his attire was the only thing he could care about at that moment.

He had ever so desperately wanted to visit his hyung's grave but among all his mixed feelngs, he had somehow forgotten how not even a day of his went by calmly.

In today's case, the harsh waves that wrecked his boat every now and then were in the form of Jackson, none other than his hyung's younger brother.

Jackson and him had had a well... complex past. Taehyung practically lived at their house since he was a toddler, Jackson's older brother and Taehyung were super close. He was closer to him than his biological uncle who was raising him at that time.

Naturally, he became close to Jackson and his best friend Bogum over the years, the four of them living their best lives in Daegu. Laughing,crying, playing, sleeping, eating, they did everything together.

At some point in his life, Taehyung had been called a gold digger by some Jerks. He didn't know what it meant but it definetly didn't mean something good, he was young but not stupid.

To explain it, Jackson and his brother were filthy rich, the Wang family rolled in money. His hyung had a thing for buying Taehyung crazy expensive gifts, from pretty shirts to School stuff, he bought it all.

Taehyung had told him and Jackson multiple times not to do that but hell they cared. The simple insults on the streets quickly evolved to him getting bullied for it at school. It wasn't until he had beg-cried in front of his Hyung to not spend his money on him, did they stop.

Yet the bullying continued, he was an easy target. As long as there was no one around him belonging to the Wang Family, he would get beaten up. He tried to inform the administration but after a few weeks of suspension, they would be back to stage one.

So he just started to cope with it, in his own way. He knew in his heart that it was so wrong, he had been told countless times that how selfish and harmful was self-harm, yet he didn't stop.

At the age of fifteen, he gave up.

Although the black-haired male knew his limits, he would try his best to only cut once a week. Only in worst cases did it become twice or thrice. It was rare though.

Jackson's brother tried his very best to help him. Taehyung was so grateful to him. They would spend their weekends together, going to a farmhouse the Wang family owned.

He loved spending time with them. Taehyung felt like he could be himself with them and not hide behind the facade he put up almost every day after exiting the front door of his small house.

But...

One dark, gloomy day... It happened. That was the changing point in his life. If he cut once a week before, after it had happened, the cutting was ever so familiar to him, the cuts were evident than ever.

If he had a few friends before, if he had someone who took care of him, who spared their time greeting him a simple 'hi', he now had none.

None at all.

Not only did he lose his hyung that's day, he also lost Jackson, Bogum and... himself. Somewhere along the journey of mourning his death, he lost himself.

Taehyung vividly remembers that horrific night, the thunder of the dark grey clouds above him. As if the sky was pitying him, but the black-haired male didn't need it in the least.

After that day, nothing was the same.

Jackson blamed him for his brother's death. Bogum didn't torment him like Jackson did but he blended into his surrounding, avoiding Taehyung at all costs. Not sparing him a single glance.

And even without knowing, he had dived into darkness. A dark, deep pit of his own toxic feelings and emotions and he couldn't escape it. He couldn't get out of the misery.

A loud shout was enough to bring Taehyung back to reality, the one he was in currently.

A furious Jackson glaring at him, shaking him occasionally and Taehyung stood limp in his deathly grasp, a worried Bogum holding Jackson back.

The black-haired male stared helplessly at the duo in front of him, not even trying to scape his grip.

"Why the fuck are you here!?"

Taehyung could only scoff on his insides at the obvious question. He was here 'cause he wanted to see his hyung, wasn't it pretty obvious.

"I told you you're not allowed to see him, didn't I?" His hold became tighter round Taehyung's neck and he could only wince at the sudden harshness.

"Jackson, Let go!" He could hear Bogum shout behind them, trying his very best to stop Jackson but the other was far too gone to be stopped.

"Why should I stop?" A low chuckle resonated in the cemetery, the glass reflecting his raspy voice, filled with nothing but hatred for the male standing in front of him.

"He was my hyung too--" Taehyung reasoned.

"No, he wasn't. He fucking wasn't. You get that!!" At this point, Taehyung could see the tears threatening to escape Jackson's eyes, he felt bad for him but he loved himself just a little more and thus his hatred for him dominated the other feelings he felt for him.

"I'm just curious. Wasn't killing him enough for you that you had to come and visit his grave..." A loud slap resonated, Jackson help his now bright red cheek whilst Taehyung stared at a furious Bogum glaring at him.

"Enough, Jack. You are not the only one traumatized by his death. Stop playing the victim and get over it..."

"I'm playing the victim now? What about him!?" The male shouted, finally letting go of Taehyung's collar, shoving him back in the process.

Taehyung stumbled backwards, trying to find his balance. Once he did so, he rubbed a hand on his neck, already feeling the bruise forming on his sensitive tissues.

"HE FUCKING KILLED HIM, WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING HIM?"

"NO HE DIDN'T. YOU KNOW THAT TOO!" Bogum stepped forward a bit, bringing both his arms to shake Jackson, a poor attempt of bringing him back to sanity.

"NO I DON'T KNOW. HE KILLED HIM. HE FUCKING KILLED HIM." 

Every word was like an arrow to his heart, piercing through the flesh and making it hurt like no tomorrow.

He had been told multiple times that he was the murderer, he was responsible for his hyung's death and no matter how many times the rational part of him consoled that it was not his fault, his emotional self screamed at him that it was no-one but his fault. Solely his.

The change in air was painfully evident, it was near evening and the cold seemed to be getting worse with every passing second, yet he didn't care.

He didn't notice how he was shaking like a leaf until Jackson growled out of a sudden and spat right next to him, Taehyung didn't know if it was to degrade him or anything else but it didn't feel good in the least.

The furious male shoved past him, giving him a rough push in the process of doing so. His emotions toying with his mind, he could feel the throb in his head from all the events.

Taehyung could already see Bogum approaching him in his peripheral vision but he chose to leave the cemetery without wasting any time.

And so, only Bogum was left in the graveyard, a frown etched onto his face as he saw the two people fight like mad dogs, the said people once the closest to his heart.

Taehyung sniffed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand to get rid of the tears that had broken out unknowingly, he had no idea where he was found but he was just wandering around.

Walking in the middle of nowhere, head filled with unwanted thoughts, he marched for hours.

He walked until the sun had set, the bright sky once filled with smoke-like white clouds had now been replaced with a dark shade of black. The only source of light was the new moon accompanying the stars suspended in the vast, never ending sky.

For now, he wanted to be alone. He was mad, frustrated, confused and tired. So tired. His walk that extended for hours didn't help his sore muscles either.

He knew what he had to do at times like these. These times that were so familiar to him yet he couldn't get used to it. He felt the same despair every time he came across something like this, his mind and body not used to it even after putting up with it for months. Years even.

He knows all too well what to do to relieve his pain, to make his heart feel less empty, to somewhat bandage up the fresh cuts, the wounds, the scars.

He knows how to divert his attention to something else, Taehyung was well aware of how toxic and unhealthy it was to cut but he couldn't help it. He tried to stop it several times. Times when Jungkook had caught him in the middle if the night, laying on the marble floor of their bathroom, covered in blood.

He swears he had promised himself not yo continue it the second he saw the disappointed spread across Jungkook's face yet he couldn't stop. He just couldn't stop it from happening.

If he were to describe it, he felt an unwanted force pulling him deep into a pit, full of darkness. He, despite not wanting to, got dragged into the pit and that wasn't even the worst part. He couldn't escape.

He wouldn't escape despite wanting to do so ever so desperately.

A/N:

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