Everything that was happening was all his fault.

He barely registered Marinette's sobs as she fell into Alya's arms. He wanted to be the one to hold her, to assure her that he could fix this and that they would get Emma back safe and sound, but he couldn't find the strength to even stand from the couch. His mind felt like a blur. His eyes were burning. His ears were ringing, and whatever noise filled the room was barely audible to him. What little he could hear sounded completely out of his reach.

The only thing that sounded nearby was his own voice, loudly repeating to him over and over and over again in his head that if he hadn't been here, none of this would have happened. Had he stayed away, Emma would still be here. Instead, he had unknowingly made her a target to Hawkmoth, once again ruining something that was so important to him.

First, he destroyed his relationship with the love of his life and now he was the one to put their daughter in danger. What kind of man was he? What kind of father did that make him?

"This is all my fault." Adrien said aloud, and the words couldn't have been any clearer. The hushed voices of his friends fell silent, as did Marinette's strained sobs. He could feel all eyes on him a second later, but he was too ashamed to meet any of their gazes.

"This isn't your fault, dude." Nino spoke up first.

Adrien chuckled bitterly at that. He knew Nino would say that. He shook his head and finally stood to his feet. Still avoiding their gazes, he started heading for the door. "I need some fresh air."

No one asked him to stay. In fact, their silence only further broke his heart. Swiping at the new tears that trickled down his cheek with the back of his palm, he forcefully opened that door and slammed it behind him.

But right before it slammed, he heard Marinette call after him.

He stopped right at her doorstep in shock, quickly debating if hearing her voice call after him was his mind playing tricks on him or not. His initial idea had been to transform into Chat Noir for some fresh air, but he found himself too exhausted just at the thought of bounding from roof to roof. So instead, he settled for sitting on the steps that led up to her apartment. It seemed his mind really wasn't playing tricks on him when a moment later, the front door opened, revealing Marinette underneath the threshold.

In silence, she closed the door behind her and took a seat beside him on the steps. He didn't look over his shoulder to meet her gaze. Instead, they sat side by side in agonizing silence, and he found himself unable to bear it for very long when his anxiety only began to rise.

He buried his face in his hands. "How can you sit beside me?" He broke the silence with muffled words from his palms, but the tremble in his voice was clearly audible.

"What do you mean?" Marinette's voice was strangely soft.

He scoffed, the disgust behind it only directed at himself. "I just put our daughter in danger. How are you not angry at me?"

"Adrien, this isn't your fault—"

"Of course it's my fault!" He turned to look at her then, pain stricken all across his face. "I'm the one who told my father about Emma!"

Despite his raised voice, Marinette didn't grow angry with him. Instead, her features softened to reveal understanding—understanding that he was hurting, and that she knew exactly what type of pain he was feeling.

"You couldn't have known your father was Hawkmoth." Marinette tried to assure him, but he wasn't convinced. He should have known. How could he not have known that his own father was the man he and Ladybug had been fighting since they were teens? He lived under the same roof with that man.

Adrien shook his head. "I should have known. He's my father."

"A father who barely spent time in the same room as you, Adrien." Marinette reminded him softly. He felt her place a hand on his shoulder. "You couldn't have possibly known if you don't even know your father, and I mean really know him."

"But... I thought..." He trailed off when the thoughts of his father started to consume him. He really thought his father was starting to turn a new leaf. The man didn't even scold him when he went to see him in person for basically abandoning his school back in America. His father even gave him advice about how to fix his relationship with Marinette.

But now he was starting to wonder... had his father meant any of it?

Marinette nudged her shoulder against his. "You thought what?"

Adrien let out a sigh through his nose. He felt foolish now. How could he have thought that his father would change? How could he have thought that his father actually cared, or that he could finally have a relationship with him? How could he have thought his father would be interested in being a grandfather if he was never interested in being a father?

Marinette nudged him again when she noticed his hesitance. "Talk to me."

He slowly slanted his head at her. This allowed her to get a full view of his now red eyes. He shrugged, feeling a bit pathetic. "I guess I just thought my father had changed after I left. When I returned, he didn't even lecture me... and... and then he gave me advice about us, and I thought that meant he cared."

Marinette's expression revealed her sympathy. As much as he usually loathed that look when it was directed at him, he found himself appreciating it when it came from her.

"But I guess I was wrong," Adrien scoffed bitterly at his own naivety. "How could I think for one second that my father would care about me or my family? All he has ever cared about has been his reputation and now, apparently, our miraculous."

He watched Marinette's neutral expression slowly morph into a frown, and suddenly, he felt awful. How could he even make this about himself? This was about Emma!

He frowned as well and slightly pulled away from her. "I'm sorry. Why am I even complaining about my father? This isn't even about me."

He felt Marinette tug on his sleeve. "Adrien, I want you to be open with me. If something is on your chest, I want you to tell me about it."

He let out a pained, airy laugh. "Right now? Doesn't that make me selfish?"

She shook her head. "No, it just makes you as broken as I am, and if we're broken, how are we supposed to rescue our daughter?"

She made a good point. However, that didn't entirely erase how selfish he felt. So far, almost all of his actions had been selfish. Adrien rejecting Marinette, Chat Noir sparking a relationship with Marinette, him leaving Marinette, him returning... all of these things had been totally selfish and unfair. Marinette had every reason to hate him, and at first, she made her dislike in him very clear. But now she was here beside him, trying to console him.

He should be trying to console her. She was hurting just as much as he was.

"I'm sorry," his voice sounded rasp when the apology escaped him. He averted his gaze from hers and dropped his head. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, Marinette. For rejecting you as Adrien, for getting involved with you as Chat Noir, for leaving, for coming back... I should have just stayed away. I've made your life nothing but problematic since I came back."

She scooted closer to him, and suddenly their shoulders were touching. "I'm glad you came back." She admitted quietly. He whipped his head at her in surprise. "I know I didn't act as if I did, but I really was happy to see you again; happy and perhaps hurt. I didn't understand why you left, and I really didn't understand why you decided to come back, but even despite my initial distrust in you, I missed you."

"I missed you too." Adrien whispered out his response. In response to his words only heard between them, Marinette rested her head on his shoulder. He found himself unable to resist and leaned his own head on top of hers.

She let out a hum. "Can I ask you a question?"

He lifted his head from hers, nodding. "Anything."

"Why didn't you ever tell me you were in love with Ladybug, as either Adrien or Chat Noir?"

He chuckled a bit sheepishly, though it sounded a bit bitter as well. "I was embarrassed, I guess. I didn't think you would return my feelings and I didn't want to risk our professional partnership or friendship by letting my feelings get in the way."

"And yet... you still came to me?"

He looked at her then—really looked at her. She was talking about her civilian self. Right now, Ladybug had been completely pushed to the back burner. Now she wanted to know what he had truly felt for Marinette and Marinette alone.

He nodded a bit shyly. "The truth is, when I rejected you as Adrien, it wasn't because I didn't like you. I actually did... a lot, but I also knew I had feelings for Ladybug too, and I felt like it would be wrong and unfair to pursue something with you when my heart wouldn't have been entirely devoted to you."

"But Marinette and Chat Noir were good friends..." he trailed off with a scoff, feeling guilty even to this day for his actions, despite his beautiful daughter being the result of those said actions. "I didn't expect anything that night except maybe a heartfelt talk... but then we just... crossed that line and I couldn't find it in myself to stop then because I loved you." He met her bluebell eyes with a pleading look in his own, hoping she believed his every word. "I still do."

She nodded against his shoulder as if to assure him she believed him, but her expression remained unreadable.

He cleared his throat when silence followed. "Can I ask you a question now?"

"Sure."

He pondered over it a bit more in his head before he asked, "Why didn't you tell me that night we broke up that you were pregnant? That must've been when you found out, right? I remember you saying you had something to tell me too."

Marinette let out a defeated sigh. That alone had his own heart dropping into the pit of his stomach. "I didn't tell you because I thought you knowing would hold you back." She admitted rather quietly, "You were so ready to leave Paris and fulfil your dream and I just didn't want to be in your way. Plus, you have to remember I wanted to keep our relationship. I wanted us to be a family."

"I know you did." He replied in a hoarse whisper.

"I still do." She quickly made sure to reiterate that her desire wasn't just past tense. It was in the present too, even after everything. "I still want us to be a family."

He found himself close to chocking on a sob. "Are you sure? Even after everything? Even after you told me you didn't want me around anymore?"

"I know I was harsh." Marinette quickly reached out for his limp hand in his lap and squeezed. "I was angry and sometimes... we say things we don't really mean when we're angry. But... but I do want you to be a part of Emma's life. I want her to know who her father is."

Adrien silently nodded. There was still an unspoken question on his mind. What about us?

Somehow, Marinette must've read his mind. She let out another defeated sigh. "I know I want you to be in Emma's life, and I know that I love you, but... I don't want to rush anything between us, Adrien. There's a lot I—no we need to work on, including healing. I want to take any potential romantic relationship between us slow."

As much as he dreaded the word, he knew she was right. He wanted nothing more than anything to be a couple again, to possibly move in with her and his daughter, but in order to heal and to make sure that this time they lasted, he knew it would be unwise to rush anything.

"I know." He said quietly, "But the temptation to move in with you is pretty strong right now."

Marinette chuckled softly. There was a bit of sadness laced in that laugh, though. It seemed she too also had the same desire.

He smiled sadly at her. "I'm not trying to pressure you or anything. I'm willing to wait for as long you want."

She reciprocated that smile. "Thank you."

He offered her a dip of his chin. They smiled at each other for another long moment, because finally, they understood each other. The air seemed to have been cleared. Now that everything had been laid out on the table, they could focus on the next big thing they needed to solve. With that thought on mind, his frown to return. "So, what are we going to do about Emma?"

Marinette's frown also returned. "My first extinct is to rush your father's mansion... but he's expecting that. He's expecting us to rush in to save her without rationally thinking anything through. With that being said, he probably has a trap set."

She made a good point. But how were they supposed to regain the upper hand if they had no idea what awaited them at his father's mansion?

"So... do you have a plan?" Adrien asked.

It was then when Marinette smirked. He should've known better than to ask that question. His lady always had a plan. "I might have a little something up my sleeve."

_______________

"YOU'RE WHAT?!" Nino and Alya screeched in unison.

Adrien had no doubt in his mind that Marinette's plan would work. They always worked. He expected nothing but sucess to be the result, but what he hadn't expected about this plan was for Marinette to reveal her identity to Nino and Alya.

With the truth out in the air, Adrien was feeling a bit squeamish. The first thing his friends did was question Marinette. When she confirmed what she was saying was indeed the truth, their gazes zeroed in on him, and their expression showed their anger. Their looks spoke volumes. They blamed him for Marinette's secrecy. The blamed him for leaving her because they automatically assumed he knew of this news before he abandoned her.

And Marinette quickly noticed this. "Why are you guys angry at him? You should be angry at me. I'm the one who kept this from you all these years."

Alya's eyes snapped to her best friend's. "Did he know?" she asked as if he wasn't even standing there. "Did he know you were Ladybug before he left?"

"Umm...?" Adrien went to quickly interject. "I'm right here—"

"Shut up, Agreste." Alya snapped.

Adrien flinched backward, clearly taken aback, but before he could formulate a retort, Marinette was already speaking up. "Alya stop." She frowned at her best friend. "He didn't know either. He found out not too long ago."

Alya, however, looked nowhere near convinced. Her gaze zeroed in back on him. "So, what? Now that you both know you're Ladybug and Chat Noir, you'll just... be together now? Everything that has happened will just be pushed to the back burner then? Ignored maybe?"

That angered him. There was so much more to it. He would never get with Marinette simply because she was Ladybug.

He stepped forward, his expression enraged. "That's none of your business."

"None of my business?" Alya also took a step forward. Her tone showed her anger and offense. "It's entirely my business! Ever since you left, it's been my business! Who do you think was there for Marinette while you were off living your 'dream' in the states?"

Adrien's brows furrowed even further. "I have appreciated you and Nino for being there for Marinette and our daughter when I couldn't be! But I'm here now, and I'm trying my best to make up for everything I've ever done in the past!"

"Yeah, by just walking in and disturbing everything that we have ever built as normal for both Marinette and Emma! Do you know how many nights I spent trying to console my best friend as she cried and cried and cried—"

"Maybe not." He interrupted hastily, "But I am aware of how much pain I've caused. Why do you think I'm trying my hardest to redeem myself?"

"And you're trying to do that... how? By getting your daughter captured by Hawkmoth?"

"Alya!" Marinette exclaimed in horror.

Adrien's heart instantly dropped into the pit of his stomach, and it was noticeable on his outward appearance. His shoulders dropped, as did his head. His gaze fell to his feet, and once again, that guilty, sinking feeling corrupted his soul. Whatever last bit of hope he had that he could redeem himself had been blown out with a single gust of wind.

Nino stepped forward and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Alya, babe, that was not a cool thing to say."

She yanked herself away from him, turning on her heel to face her husband head on. "You know I'm right! None of this would have happened if he would have just stayed away!"

"I know you're worried about Emma, but you should be angry at Hawkmoth..." Nino argued. He extended a finger at the blonde in the room a moment later. "Not him."

"Oh, I am angry at Hawkmoth," Alya chuckled bitterly, "But I have every right to be angry at Adrien too. If he would've just stayed put in the states, Emma would still be perfectly safe!"

Nino scoffed at that. "Right... because you can tell the future? Hawkmoth clearly took Emma because she's their daughter. What do you think he would've done had he just found out Emma was Ladybug's daughter?"

"He would have taken her regardless." Marinette answered dully before Alya could give in her two cents. "Emma has always been in danger without us even realizing it. Hawkmoth was going to find out eventually."

"Exactly." Nino pointed a finger in her direction, but his gaze remained entirely fixated on his wife. "So instead of all this pointless arguing, let's figure out how we're going to outsmart this son of a bitch."

Alya grumbled out an inaudible response, but it seemed she was ready to cooperate when no further argument ensued. She folded her arms across her chest, staring blankly at him and her best friend. Adrien couldn't help but swallow uncomfortably. Alya may have been ready to work together, but there was no way she was close to forgiving him. There was still too much left unsaid, and with the way Alya was looking at him, he knew she had a lot more to say.

Nino turned to face Marinette. "So... what's the plan? I'm assuming you coming clean about your identity must have something to do with how you plan to get Emma back."

"It... it does." Marinette confirmed hesitantly. Adrien could tell it made her feel even more guilty when Nino's expression visibly dropped. "But... I-I wanted to tell you guys eventually—"

"It's okay, Marinette, you don't need to explain." Nino assured, but it was hard to believe him when betrayal was evident in his features. "Just tell us what we can do to help."

Adrien didn't even have to look at Marinette to know that she was hurt. Adrien knew what that feeling felt like—even if his friends had found out all on their own and he never had to tell him. A secret identity was a burden to carry, and not being able to tell anyone; to have to lie to so many people you cared about regularly was a devastating truth.

Hesitantly—because he feared what Alya might think—he wrapped an arm around Marinette's shoulders. Adrien found his own heart throb in his chest when she tensed slightly, but then she instantly relaxed, looked up, and offered him a thankful smile.

At least he could help in some way. That alone helped him slowly regain his hope.

The smile that slowly tugged at his lips fell just as quickly when his eyes met Alya's once more. Her eyes were burning into his arm wrapped around Marinette's shoulders, and that's when he realized his redemption from Marinette's wasn't the only thing he needed to work for.

Alya and Nino were a big part of Marinette and Emma's life. If he wanted to be a part of it too, he had to accept that Alya and Nino weren't going anywhere.

But if he couldn't get Alya to forgive him, how was he supposed to have a life with Marinette?

There would always be conflict. Whether that conflict was between him and Alya, between Marinette and Alya, or even between him and Marinette. And what about Emma? How would Emma feel watching three people she cared about never being able to get along?

And what if... what if Marinette decided to take Alya's side in all this?

It was then when Adrien realized not everything was set in stone. He still had one thing he needed to lay out on the table. He didn't want Marinette to have to pick a side. He wanted them all to get along. He didn't want them to loathe each other.

"You can help by accepting these."  He was snapped out of his conflicting thoughts as Marinette extended a hand. In the center of her palm sat two jewels: a bracelet and a necklace. He gasped when he realized they weren't just ordinary pieces of jewelry.

It was the turtle and fox miraculous.

"A miraculous?" Adrien turned to look at her in worry. "You want to give them a miraculous?"

"Don't think we can handle a miraculous?" His eyes snapped back to Alya, who had her arms folded across her chest.

"That's not what I meant." Adrien shook his head. "But wielding a miraculous takes practice and it could be dangerous to jump into battle when neither of you have done that before."

Alya opened her mouth to object, but Marinette quickly raised a hand. "He's right, Alya. Having no experience with a miraculous and facing Hawkmoth can be dangerous. In most instances, we would train new holders... but I don't have time for that."

Adrien whipped his head to look at her in shock. "Marinette, this is dangerous—"

"I need them, Adrien." There was a pleading look in her irises when their gazes clashed. "This plan won't work without them."

"But you're putting their lives at risk." He argued. "What if something happens to them because they don't have enough experience?"

He knew Marinette agreed with his logic. He could tell with the way she hesitated to respond. Earlier, Marinette had mentioned that she didn't want to go rushing in to save their daughter because she didn't want to make irrational decisions that blinded her judgement... but Adrien felt like she was doing that now. Alya and Nino had no experience in wielding a miraculous or going into battle. There was a possibility they could get hurt... or die... or jeopardize the plan because he would have to be worried about making sure they stayed alive.

He knew his father was dangerous. He now knew his father would do whatever it took to get their miraculous, including pretending to be someone he was not. That also included using Alya and Nino's inexperience to his advantage.

Adrien wanted nothing more than to save his daughter, but he wasn't willing to risk his friends' lives as the cost.

"You make good points, Adrien." Nino softly broke the silence. He then stepped forward and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "But I think the decision should be up to me and Alya."

A pained look flashed through Adrien's eyes. "Nino, you don't understand how severe this is—"

"Yes, I do understand." Nino interrupted sternly, "I understand that my life could be at risk if I accept this. I understand that I might not make it out of this—I've come to terms with that. But as someone who's always considered Emma to be family; as her uncle, I would do anything to save her. Tell me you wouldn't do the same, as a father?"

It wasn't even something Adrien needed to consider. Yes, he would do anything for the people he cared about, especially his family. Even if it meant giving up his own life.

Adrien offered his best friend a single nod in understanding. With that, Nino stepped forward and took the turtle miraculous from Marinette's hand. Without a word being spoken, Alya did the same and claimed the fox miraculous. She didn't need to say anything for Adrien to know that she stood by Nino's words. She would do anything for her niece, no questions asked.

Marinette smiled sadly at them both. "To activate your miraculous, Nino, all you have to say is 'Wayzz, shell on.' For you, Al, you say 'Trixx, let's pounce.'"

Husband and wife briefly exchanged a glance before they recited their phrases in sync. Adrien watched in awe as his friends transformed into superheroes in just a matter of seconds.

It suited them, it really did, but deep down, Adrien was still worried.

"So, now that we're all suited up, what's the plan?" Alya asked.

Marinette offered them a knowing smirk, and then she was divulging into a plan she had formulated in just minutes. However, Adrien was barely paying attention, too transfixed on his anxieties and worries that clouded his mind the further he allowed himself to dwell over them.

He wanted to have faith in his lady's plan. He wanted to believe that it would work.

But he couldn't help but worry that something would go wrong.

_______________________________

Tune in for chapter 18 on (10/28/2022) where Ladybug, Chat Noir, and two new heroes swoop in to rescue Emma. Fighting sequences ensue (hopefully I can write it good enough) and Adrien quickly realizes that he should have headed his worries more carefully.

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