Demi

"So confirmed on the guest list are Kim and Kayne, Anna Wintour, Oliver Rousteing, Alessandro Michele, and Raf Simmons. They'll all be sitting front row next week, and I have about twenty for RSVP's to go through, but a full list will be on your desk by tomorrow morning."

I turned away from the window to smile politely at one of my assistants, Angela. "Thank you. Please bring me a seat layout of the venue so I can start arranging the seating for the front row."

"Yes, Miss Lovato."

She walked out and I sighed heavily, looking back out of the window. I was at my office in SoHo, one of the smaller properties I owned for the purpose of my company, Devonne. With 7 years of nothing to focus on but my work, I had quickly rose up the ranks in various businesses. Now, Devonne stretched across several different markets.

First was beauty, I had revamped my skincare line so it now fit into every Sephora store across the country. Then came a makeup line, and haircare products. After that, I crossed over to the world of fashion, and now I was a seasoned veteran, about to launch my fourth season of Devonne.

The one part of my life I never touched again was music. I hadn't played or sang a note since the time I played the piano in treatment so many years ago. Instead, I channeled my emotions into work, and so far it was going well.

"Miss Lovato?" Another assistant, Brandon, stood in the doorway. "I have the guest list for tomorrow night."

I walked over and took the paper, noticing his hands were shaking slightly. Brandon was new, and he was absolutely terrified of me. A small part of my was satisfied, but I did feel bad for the guy. I flipped through the names, scanning for one in particular, then nodded when I didn't see it.

"Confirm that I'll be there. Order me a car to pick me up at my apartment tomorrow night at seven o'clock, and have my glam team meet me at five thirty." I paused, then smiled warmly at him. "Thank you, Brandon."

He smiled back tentatively, then walked quickly out of the my office.

I sat down at my desk and rubbed my face tiredly, last night I was up late going through finishing touches on the fashion line so today I was exhausted.

"Am I interrupting?"

I opened my eyes to see Aaron Santos, the CEO of one of the major men's fashion companies that I had partnered with. In one hand was a bag of takeout, and in the other was a single rose. Aaron was admittedly very attractive, the definition of tall, dark, and handsome with his Brazilian features. He had started as a male model and worked his way up. Now extremely successful, he was worth billions, but I had made a decision a long time ago to never become romantically involved with someone again. We had become close since becoming business partners, and I knew he wanted more than that, but I never gave into his advances.

"Not at all, come in."

He smiled charmingly and walked over to sit in front of me. "How is your day going?"

"Stressful." I smiled and shrugged. "The usual, fixing disasters, dodging rich CEO's who try to hit on me."

Aaron laughed and put the rose down in front of me. "Miss Lovato, how dare you accuse me of such a thing."

I smiled, then sighed. "Really, Aaron. It's not anything against you it's just-"

"I know. I've heard things from a lot of people Demi."

"So why do you keep trying?" I whispered. "I've told you time and time again that you can't do anything to change my mind. Why do you keep doing things like this?" I nudged the rose with my hand.

"Because I don't believe that facade you put up in front of everyone else. I think under all of that ice queen persona, is someone who was hurt deeply, deeper than anyone could understand. I'm not trying to change your mind about me, I'm trying to change your mind about life. Everyone can see that you're not happy. I'm not asking for you to marry me Demi. I don't want to get married. I'm asking that you let me show you how you deserve to be treated by a person who thinks you're incredible. I've never met anyone like you, and I think you deserve to be treated like a queen. I just want you to let do that."

I shook my head, staring at him as I bit my lower lip. "How do you expect me do that?"

A slow smile spread across his handsome features. "Just live. Let go, and live."

~*~

"I'll meet you at the sixth avenue café, okay?"

"Okay. See you soon, love."

I smiled as I hung up the phone with Aaron. After that day in office I'd given him the chance to take me on a single date. He didn't disappoint me, and the next weekend he'd picked me up from my apartment with no warning with two tickets to Paris on his private jet. We had been together for nearly four years, but it wasn't like my other relationships. We rarely fought, and when we did he easily navigated my twisted mind to find the source of the problem and we worked it out. Aaron had kept his promise from years ago and treated me like I was the only person that mattered to him. I was holding us back though, Aaron had told me during our first year that he loved me, but I couldn't do the same. He was amazingly understanding, and I still hadn't said it. Two years ago, he'd asked me to marry him, and I told him no. Again, he understood, but it still made me feel incredibly guilty inside.

I walked into the tiny café that had become Aaron and I's regular place, and sat in our normal corner booth. I ordered a cappuccino, and scrolled through my emails as I waited for him. After about five minutes, a person slid into the seat in front of me. I was about to look up with a smile but the scent of his cologne hit me. It took me back ten years to sitting in that therapist's office, with my entire world crashing down around me.

Wilmer Valderrama.

I'd purposely put all thought of him out of my mind. He brought back the numbness inside of me that I hated. He brought back all of the self doubt and self deprecation that had first plagued my relationship with Aaron. I thought I was healed, that I was okay again, but sitting here in front of him, I wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor.

I lifted my head and regarded him with the cold neutral expression I had perfected over the years.

"Hermosa."

That word alone was enough to break me, but I held every muscle taut. I glanced at his hand, the left one, and my chest felt hollow at the silver ring on his finger.

"You should go."

"I'm sorry... for everything. I never got the chance to tell you that, so I thought you should know."

His apologies meant nothing. I didn't need to hear him say sorry. I knew he was sorry the entire time. If he wasn't, he wouldn't have tried to keep it from me.

"I've put it behind me."

"Please, Dems. I'm sorry."

That old nickname I hadn't heard in years. I no longer had anyone in my life who even knew of it. I hadn't spoken to my mom since that day, and Maddie was so hurt by me walking away I only got a phone call every year on her birthday.

"Don't do this." Anger bubbled up through me and suddenly I was seething. "Don't do this, Wilmer. My life has been perfectly fine without you in it for ten years, I don't need this right now."

I was proud to say it wasn't a lie. I no longer needed him. I no longer woke up screaming for him in the middle of the night. Instead I slept peacefully, with no lingering nightmares of horrors of my demons. They had been silent for years, the result of me beating them into submission.

"Please, just let me explain."

"No. I don't need an explanation. I don't want an explanation. I want you to leave me the hell alone, like we've both been doing. You need to go back to your wife."

"And you? Are you going back to someone?"

I almost laughed. As if he had any right to know anything about me anymore. He had lost the right to ask anything from me.

"That's none of your business now, isn't it?"

"I guess not. But you're not wearing a ring, so I don't think you have anyone."

A part of me wanted to tell him about Aaron, how he treated me better than Wilmer ever could, how I was happier than I had been in fifteen years, how he was the key to me finally being able to breathe again. But he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to know I was happy.

"You think I would ever get married again after what you did to me?" The words left my mouth in a snarl and Wilmer's adam's apple bobbed nervously. "You think I could trust another human being enough to vow to love them until death after what you put me through?" I chuckled maliciously at the thought. "You ruined me. I'm damaged because of you. I can't trust anyone because of what you did. So no, I'm not married.I found a way to love myself without depending on anyone... especially you."

I stood up, grabbing my phone and purse, and walked out of the café. Aaron's car- a black Maserati, was parked on the curb and he was walking up to the door.

"Hey beautiful." He said, his lips parting to reveal a white smile before he frowned. "Are you okay?"

I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He hugged back, but I could tell he was confused.

"What's going on?"

I shook my head and didn't let go of him. "Wilmer's in there."

Aaron's body tensed and I pulled away to look at him. "I didn't know he would be here. I just... Can we go?"

"Absolutely. Come on."

Aaron opened the car door for me before getting in himself. As he pulled away, I glanced back at the door, being my lip as I saw Wilmer standing there, staring after the car as we drove away.

"Can you take me to my old apartment?" I whispered, looking down at my hands.

"Of course." I could tell Aaron didn't know what to do or say. He wasn't sure what Wilmer's sudden presence would do to me, or to our relationship. I knew he was afraid I would break up with him.

I looked at him as he drove and once we reached a red light he met my stare. I gave him a small smile and reached over to take his hand, lacing my fingers through his. His body visibly relaxed and I went back to looking out the window at the passing buildings. I hadn't been to my old apartment looking over Central Park in ages, since I usually stayed at Aaron's. It was a beautiful place, with wall size windows showing off beautiful views of the city. It was the first place I had bought when I came here ten years ago. I remodeled it every few years, so it was now modern and sleek.

"Do you want me to stay?" Aaron murmured, once we pulled up in front of the building.

I looked over at him and leaned across the seat, pressing my lips to his gently. He kissed back and I twirled my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck before I pulled away. "Could you go pick up some food and come back? I need to be alone for a little bit, but I still want you here."

"Sure." Aaron kissed me again, then once more. "What do you want to eat?"

"Surprise me." I smiled, then got out of the car, giving him a small wave as he drove away.

The apartment got cleaned every other week, so it was in pristine condition when I walked in. I sighed, opening all of the blinds and letting the setting sun flood the apartment. I changed into leggings and an oversized Moschino sweatshirt, then stopped in my closet, staring at the small box in the corner. I knelt down and lifted the top with shaking hands. Inside was the crumpled white t-shirt I had picked up off of the floor ten years ago. I picked it up and pressed the cloth to my face. It was faded, but the faint scent of Wilmer's skin still lingered in the fibers. I leaned back to sit down and kept it pressed to my nose, inhaling deeply.

For the first time in ten years, I cried for him. I cried for the love between us that had died that day, I cried for the baby inside of me that I got rid of. I cried for all the times I forced myself to keep a straight face, all of the times I felt like I was dying inside and had to be strong. I cried for all of the times I had forced myself to keep going. I sobbed and sobbed until I had nothing inside of me, until all of my tears were dry.

When I was done crying, I numbly got off of the floor and stood up. My feet carried me to the room I hadn't entered in years. Inside, held only a single object; a piano. It was covered by a sheet because it had been too painful to look at it. I uncovered it, and sat down.

My fingers began to weave across the keys in a way that seemed unconscious, as if it weren't me playing the music, but my soul; my entire body. Soon enough, my voice joined the chords.

"Take your eyes off of me so I can leave.

I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me.

This is never ending we have been here before

But I can't stay this time because I don't love you anymore.

Please stay where you are, don't come any closer

Don't try to change my mind I'm being cruel to be kind.

I can't love you in the dark, it feels like we're oceans apart.

There's so much space between us, maybe we're already defeated.

Yeah, everything changed me.

You have given me something that I can't live without,

You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt.

But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine.

The longer we ignore it oh the more that we will fight.

Please don't fall apart, I can't face your breaking heart.

I'm trying to be brave, stop asking me to stay.

I can't love you in the dark, it feel like we're oceans apart.

There's so much space between us, maybe we're already defeated.

Everything changed me.

We're not the only ones, I don't regret a thing

Every word I've said, you know I'll always mean.

It is the world to me, that you are in my life.

But I want to live and not just survive.

That's why I can't love you in the dark, it feels like we're oceans apart.

There's so much space between us, baby we're already defeated.

Because everything changed me, and I don't think you can save me.

I finished singing and leaned over, pressing my forehead to the cool wood. More tears left my eyes and dripped onto the black and white keys.

"Demi?" It was Aaron. He opened the door to the piano room and a few moments later his hand touched my back. "Are you okay?" He sat down on the bench next to me. "Talk to me."

I turned and looked at him. Aaron's eyes widened at the red tinge in mine- I hadn't cried since he had met me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he hugged me back, lifting me off of the piano bench bridal style and carrying me out of the room. He brought me to the bedroom, gently setting me down on top of the down comforter.

"Please, say something." He murmured, once he had laid down too and I settled against his chest.

I sighed and pushed myself up, sitting up and looking down at him. His brown eyes were full of concern, searching my face for any sign of what I was thinking. I leaned down and kissed him deeply, running my fingertips over his cheek and down his jawline. When I pulled away he looked a little bit more relaxed, but still worried.

"I love you." The words came not from his mouth, but from mine.

Aaron's eyes were huge and a slow smile spread across his face. "You do?"

I nodded and smiled back. "I had to see him to realize. I had to see him to know that I don't love him. I don't love him and I don't think I have in a very long time. I love you, Aaron."

He sat up, catching my lips with his and making me laugh genuinely for the first time in a while. "I love you too." He whispered, cupping my cheeks in both of his hands.

"Ask me again." I breathed, leaning my forehead against his.

"What?"

I smiled and kissed him gently. "Ask me."

His eyes popped open and he quickly stood up, pulling me to my feet with him. He kissed me first, slow and passionately, but also carefully, like I was the most precious thing he'd ever touched. Then, he slid down to one knee, his eyes glinting like honey in the light of the dwindling sun.

"Demetria Devonne Lovato, will you marry me?"

I smiled and ran my hand through his hair, taking a deep breath as I let go of all of the hurt from my past, all of the tears and pain. I let go of Wilmer, and everything I had ever felt for him.

"Yes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sooo that's it! That's the end of Haze!

I know a lot of you guys were rooting for Demi and Wilmer but at the end of the day it was a toxic relationship and Demi deserved more than he could give her.

I hope you guys had fun reading it even thought I put you through hell because I know I had a lot of fun writing it.

Thank you all soooo much for reading!

ALSO I HAVE ANOTHER BOOK COMING OUT THAT I WOULD REALLY LOVE IT IF YOU CHECKED OUT!!!

It's called: RUNNING

YOU CAN GO READ THE FIRST CHAPTER RIGHT NOW!

Thank you all so so much for all of your support and sticking with me. I read all of the comments and laugh and cry with you guys.

Stay Strong,

-Rachel :)