Wilmer

If I had known seeing her walk out that door would be the last time I would ever see her, I would've ran to beg on my knees for forgiveness. If I had known just how deeply I'd scarred her, I would've never told her the truth. I would've taken the secret to my grave. I would've held it so close to my soul she would've never even suspected.

"Papi! Are you out here?"

I took a slow pull from my cigar. "Sí, mija."

Tiny footsteps walked up the rock path to the screened off room I usually smoked in. The screen parted and my daughter, Mia, came in. She smiled at me and climbed up on my armchair, perching herself on my lap and curling into my chest.

"What's wrong?"

"Mommy's trying to make me go to bed." She drawled, her lower lip pouting out.

"It's late. You should be sleeping."

"I wanna be with you." She argued, snuggling further into me.

I took another drag from my cigar and sighed heavily, leaning my head back to look up at the stars as Mia played with the buttons on my shirt. A noise made both of us look up, and Mia pouted as Isabel, my other daughter crept in.

"Mami is looking for you, Mia." She said, putting her tiny hands on her hips.

"I'm cuddling with Papi." Mia shot back. "Just me."

Isabel's eyes widened. "I want to cuddle with Papi too."

I smiled and helped her up onto my other side after putting out the cigar. "There's room for both of you."

With my two children on my lap, and my wife inside, you'd think I'd be satisfied. You'd think I'd be able to be comfortable with my life, because in most men's eyes, I had it all. But all I could see was the one thing that was missing. Demi had told me how deep her feelings for me ran, how much I had influenced in her life, but I didn't realize until I lost her how much she was engrained in my every thought. Not a day goes by that I don't almost see her face in a crowd, that I don't pick out similarities between her and the girls I see on a daily basis. It's pathetic, and unfair to my wife, but it's true.

I love her, and I'll love her for the rest of my life.

"There you three are." I opened my eyes and saw Maria standing there, her arms crossed and her weight rolled onto one hip. "Hiding with Papi and thinking that'll stop me from getting ahold of you?"

Mia whined and wrapped her arms around me. "Mommy I don't want to go to bed yet!"

Maria smiled and walked over, gently taking Isabel, who was fast sleep, off of my lap. "Come on mija, you can stay up late tomorrow night, okay?"

"Fine." She grumbled, and sat up, taking her mother's hand. Maria gave me a look and then smiled.

"I'll be back out after they get to bed."

I looked back up at the sky as she walked into the house, and breathed in slowly through my nose, remembering my last conversation with Demi's assistant.

"You don't understand, Wilmer... She gave me a list of things I have to tell you, nothing more, nothing less. Okay? I can't tell her anything or tell you anything about her."

"Okay."

"The divorce papers will be on your desk on Monday morning. If you have any issues with the details, you can contact her lawyers. If you two fail to negotiate, her lawyer will be her representative in court."

I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head. "Dammit Kelsey, I don't want to take her to court. I don't care what she wants, she can have it."

"You will request a full guest list at every event you attend, and we will do the same. You two will not end up at the same event together. If you see Demi's name on the guest list, do not go. Whoever is confirmed first, is the person who stays on the guest list."

"Okay, fine." I muttered, closing my eyes. "What else?"

"If you attempt to contact her in any way, shape, or form, she will contact the police for a restraining order."

"Jesus Christ, a restraining order?"

"Wilmer, please don't make this any harder than it is." Kelsey snapped.

"Fine."

"That's it."

"That's it?! That can't be it!"

"She has nothing else written."

"What about the baby?"

There was a silence.

"She terminated her pregnancy the same day she found out."

"Are you okay?"

I opened my eyes to see Maria walking in, her brow furrowed. "I'm fine, just thinking."

She smiled and sat on my lap, draping her legs over my thighs. "Are you sure? You've been quiet today."

"Don't worry about it, just a mood."

She nodded and leaned closer, pressing her lips to mine gently and running her hand through my hair. "I love you."

"I love you too."

It's true. I do love Maria. She's the mother of my children, and the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Her love makes me feel better about what I did to Demi. She knows about most of it, and somehow is still with me. It would kill her to know how hung up I still am over the situation, so I pretend I'm fine, just tired, or thinking about work. I don't lie to her about anything other than Demi, so she has no reason to suspect I'm keeping things from her. I had learned a lot from my past.

Maria laid her head on my shoulder and sighed deeply, our bodies fitting together easily, but not perfectly. My perfect match was out there somewhere, not wanting anything to do with me at all.

~*~

It's been 10 years since she walked out of the door, and this is the first time I've seen her face in person. She's 35 now, and it suits her well. She keeps her hair short and dark, but right now she's sitting in a corner booth, hunched over a cup of coffee with a baseball cap on. I noticed her the moment she walked in the door, but her dark eyes didn't meet mine across the coffee shop.

It felt like every muscle in my body was on fire, only through sheer force of willpower did I refrain from walking over to her. But my grip on those urges was waning. Would she still hate me? I had to find out.

I stood up slowly and walked to the booth, stopping a few feet away. After taking a deep breath, I slid into the seat across from her.

She didn't react. Her body stiffened, but other than that she stayed staring at her phone, scrolling through whatever was on the screen. After about three full minutes of silence, she locked the device and put it down, then lifted her head to look at me.

All of the guilt and shame I had put behind me came rushing back at the look on her face. It wasn't filled with anguish or pain, anger or rage; it was calm, and neutral.

"Hermosa." I hadn't said the word in more than 10 years. I never called my wife that name, I never spoke it in conversation. No other person deserved that word apart from her.

Her eyes traveled down to my hands and I saw her examining the wedding band on my left hand. It was different from the one I wore when I was married to her.

"You should go." She had the same raspy tone, the same unique voice that had drawn me to her in the first place.

"I'm sorry... for everything. I never got the chance to tell you that, so I thought you should know."

"I've put it behind me."

"Please, Dems. I'm sorry."

"Don't do this." Her voice lowered and her eyes flashed with anger. "Don't do this, Wilmer. My life has been perfectly fine without you in it for ten years, I don't need this right now."

"Please, just let me explain."

"No." She leaned back and shook her head. "I don't need an explanation. I don't want an explanation. I want you to leave me the hell alone, like we've both been doing. You need to go back to your wife."

"And you? Are you going back to someone?" I could help but get angry a bit at the thought of her with another man, even though I didn't have any right to be.

"That's none of your business now, isn't it?"

I shook my head. "I guess not. But you're not wearing a ring, so I don't think you have anyone."

"You think I would ever get married again after what you did to me?" I swallowed hard as the Demi I was always slightly afraid of made her appearance. "You think I could trust another human being enough to vow to love them until death after what you put me through?" A low chuckle left her lips. "You ruined me. I'm damaged because of you. I can't trust anyone because of what you did. So no, I'm not married.I found a way to love myself without depending on anyone... especially you."

With that, she got up, gathered her things, and walked out of the coffee shop.

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THERES TWO EPILOGUES GUYS

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-Rachel