Valerie: okay! Y/N meeting Alastor, take one! Annnnnddddd....action!

*Y/N walks into the hotel*

Alastor: "to what do I owe the honor, Y/N Morde?"

Y/N: Thou can skip formalities, I came tonight on account-- *misses and falls off the chair*

Husker: *wheezing*

Alastor: "you alright, love?"

Y/N: *groan,* just peachy....

***

Valerie: Alastor meeting Zestial! Action!

Zestial: "so doth tell me, doth thou thy, I thought, thy meaning to thee, so did you--"

Alastor: *looks at Valerie* "trying to talk to this man is the hardest thing I've had to do all week!"

***

Valerie: angel!!! Stop messing with the script! This is an Alastor x reader, not an Angel Dust x reader!

Angel: come on toots Al's been done, time for me to shine! Besides, I know my way around the acting department quite well. And! That Y/N's giving me goo goo eyes for a week, *smirks*

Valerie: ...*facepalms*

***

Valerie: Okay and--CUT! Azrael what the hell are you doing?!

Azrael: romancing Y/N, obviously, *winks*

Valerie: you're not in this story! You're in HIS DEADLY KISS! Go back to your own set!

Azrael: *let's Ophelia go* hmm...unless we could turn the tables, and have Alastor dead and me the knight in shining armor to rescue ms. Y/N...

Valerie: no. Now go.

Azrael: bitch

Valerie: I HEARD THAT!

***

Andrealphus: DARLING I'VE MISSED--

*Niffty starts growling and barking*

Andrealphus: AHHHH GET YOUR FUCKING DOG Y/N!

Y/N: it doesn't bite

Andrealphus; YES IT DOES!

Valerie: ...

***

Valerie: alright, romantic kiss...ACTION!

Alastor: *awkwardly and barely kisses
Y/N*

Valerie: it has to be romantic! Take two!

*Ten takes later...*

Alastor: "I demand a re-write of this story where kissing is off the script!"

Valerie: sorry bud, my book, my rules.

Alastor: "give me that script!"

***

Alastor: *sees Zestial* "why hello there dad!"

Valerie: you're supposed to say Greetings Zestial!

Alastor: "and drag this story one another 50 chapters, why not end it here?! Like this! Zestial, I'm the one who will marry your daughter, the end! That's a wrap! Let's all go for coffee!"

Valerie: ....Jesus.

***

Valerie: ....THE URGE TO WRITE AN ANGEL X Y/N MORDE!

***

Y/N: do you love me?

Alastor: "darling I love you as much as I love dogs!"

Y/N: *glares*

Valerie: you are HORRIBLE at this.

***

Valerie: okay in this scene, Alastor, you're supposed to pin y/n against the wall, hold her hands above her head, whisper something sexy in her ear, lick and bite her neck, then tie her up--

Alastor: *panic* "Oh Angel! Would you like to be my stunt double!"

Valerie: ALASTOR!