A/N: Not mine. Art belongs to @Marty-m8 or Ask-Thimble*
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Another day, another crap show. Life down here in Hell is all the same. I'm always fending for myself and killing any son of a b*tch that rubs me the wrong way. And, as if things couldn't get more ridiculous, the next thing I see on TV is the princess talking about the most ludicrous idea I've ever heard. A hotel? To rehabilitate sinners?? To get them to heaven!?!?

HA! That girl is way over her head if she thinks this is going to work. Besides, even though this place sucks d*ck, I kinda like it down here. I can do whateva I want, wheneva I want, how ever I want to. Something I could never do in heaven or on earth. Really, the idea of any demon going to heaven was just impossible.

Honestly, I would almost feel sorry for the poor girl if her failure wasn't so amusing. I bumped into a random ugly- ass demon while I was lost in my thoughts. "Hey b*tch, watch where your f*cking going!!!!" Oh, hell no. "You watch who your f*cking talking to, d*ck!!!!" I yelled. Next thing I know, I have this ugly fellow and his whole of group of goons chasing after me. Man, did I pick the wrong day to forget my axe at home.

I had to keep running until I could lose them, and I don't think that's gonna be happening any time soon. At first, I tried to lose them in a gigantic crowd before I remembered it was Extermination Day. Archangels will be out at full force in the main part of Pentagram City and no one will be safe. Wait a minute...

"Oi, there she is!"
"Let's get 'er!!!"
"COME BACK HERE, B*TCH!!!!"

Crap! With very little time to think, I ran straight through the pentagram. Looks like I was right about the angels, too. It was a full on massacre right now! As much as I would usually love to watch the other stupid demons flee for their lives, I knew it was only a matter of time before those *ssholes find me. I ran into the nearest alley where I knew that neither angel nor demon could find me.

"Ah, f*ckin' hell!!! Where did that little c*nt go?!?!?"

"B-boss, do ya really think it's a good idea to be out here right now. I-I mean ya know what day it is, right?"

"Would you shut your damn mouth, ya little p*ssy!?! I ain't goin' nowhere 'till I find that disrespectful b*tch!!!!!"

For the first-and probably last- moment of my miserable life, I actually felt grateful for an angel's presence. "Uh b-b-boss. L-look behind you!!!!" "What is it this time, Maurice?!?! What the hell do you gotta tell me that's so important it-"

The poor fool didn't even get to finish his sentence before he was bludgeoned by the monsters. And his goons weren't very lucky themselves. "Rest in peace, Maurice." I said, laughing silently to myself. I had to lay low for a few hours before I could leave. These exterminators don't leave until they're completely satisfied with how many they've mutilated. About 4 hours later or so, they finally left.

Good to know I won't have to deal with those schmucks ever again. I wonder where they go. Do I know? Do I care??

......

Nah, I guess I don't. I'm just glad they're gone.

.......

"Welp, I'm bored." I said aloud to myself. What the hell should I do now? Looking at the clock, I saw that the extermination just ended. Running from those thugs really winded me. It's gonna be a long-ass trip home, I might as well get a drink before I go back.

**Time Skip**

After chugging down my seventh Margarita, I thought I was finally drunk enough to endure the long walk home. I was hoping there won't be anymore unwanted encounters from this point forward. Oh boy, luck was not on my side today (but then again, it never was).

BOOM!!!!

"Wtf is going on!?!?" I shouted. Looking up toward the sky, it looks like I got my answer. Some fancy cobra in a blimp was fighting a junky cyclops and a slutty drag queen spider. "Oh my god, I am NOT in the mood for this...." I groaned as I tried to sneak away without being caught in the middle of what I'm assuming is a Turf War.

Apparently, my luck really, really, really hated me because as soon as my back was turned, I got hit by a freaking bomb and something flew clean off my body. "OOOWWWW!!!!" I screamed before falling backwards and hitting my head on the ground. The last thing I heard before blacking out was someone with a New York accent saying "Oh sh*t, Charlie is not gonna like this......."

**Time Skip to Waking Up**

Holy sh*t, what happened? Where the hell am I??

......

..........

AND WHERE THE F*CK IS MY ARM!?!?!??!

I shot up, immediately when I realized I wasn't home. What the- wait, I remeber. That stupid spider and his idiotic one-eyed friend hit me with a freaking bomb!

But that still doesn't explain where I am. Though, this place does look familiar. Almost like I've seen it before.....

"Oh hi, I'm glad to see your awake! Welcome to the Happy Hotel!!!" screamed some random demon with blonde hair. Oh no... it's the princess!! Oh my god, I'm inside the stupid hotel!!!!

"It's very nice to meet you. I'm Charlie Magne, daughter of Lucifer, and owner of this fine establishment. And we would just like to apologize for what our friend did, but if it makes you feel better, we managed to save your arm!" she said with a nervous smile. I snatched it up and looked for anything to reattach it with. "Oh look, you're awake!" I turned my head.

It was that freaking spider again!! "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!" I screamed in rage. Worried about a fight escalating, Charlie got between me and my future victim. "Look, we're very sorry for what Angel did, aren't we, Angel?" she asked, glancing at the spider. Fearing for his life, he nodded warily.

"What's going on!!?!?" someone asked. Looking over my shoulder, some moth girl came out with a red deer, a miniature cyclops, and a cat with wings behind her. "Nothing Vaggie, we're just trying to calm down our guest. Nifty, can you go and find tools to put her arm back?" asked Charlie. "On it!!!" said the small cyclops before running off.

"So you must be the must the poor girl who lost her arm. The names Alastor and it's a pleasure to meet ya, sweetheart!!! That little feline over there is my dear friend, Husk." He said whilst shaking my remaining hand, vigorously. That cat didn't do much, but glance at me. "I'm back!" called Nifty who got to work on sewing my arm back.

"What are we gonna do with her?" whispered Vaggie to the princess. After a moment of thinking, she came to me and said "As an apology for your accident, how would you like to be a guest here at the Happy Hot-" "NO."

She looked a bit hurt when I said that, but she still kept trying. "Why not? It's the least we could do for what happened. Plus, you could get the chance to be rehabilitated and go to heaven!!!"

I sighed and shook my head. "That's why. I don't want to go to heaven. Sure, this place is sh*t, but at least I have more freedom down here than I do up there." She looked so upset. "But-" "I'm done!!!" shouted Nifty. My arm was back in its rightful place, but when I tried to move it, it hurt like a b*tch.

I hissed in pain. I forgot it takes a while for my inner joints to reconnect once they've been taken apart. Noticing my pain, Charlie tried one more time. "Please! Your obviously in pain and it wouldn't be right for you to go out on your own. Plus, if you don't like it here I promise that you can leave when you're fully recovered. Please, just give us a chance." she begged.

I actually feel kinda bad right now. Plus, I don't want to be responsible for making the only nice person down here cry.

Taking a deep breathe, I said, "Fine, I'll stay, but just until my arm is healed."

Charlie's face brightened up when she heard my response. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I promise you won't be disappointed!" she said, hugging me.

Oh boy...

"Let's take you to the room you'll be staying in. Oh, I almost forgot, what's your name?"

I've never told anyone my name since I've arrived here. I never really trusted anyone. But if I'm gonna be stuck here, I might as well try to open up.

Looking at Charlie, I said, "My name is Y/N"