The ride to Taehyung's house was mostly silent, and he could tell something bothered the younger, even though he had no idea what it was. He questioned him, of course, if he was okay, and Jeongguk simply said yes, but he knew it was a lie.

"Will you shower first so I can make us something to eat?" Taehyung asked in a soft tone once he parked the car.

"Sure."

His eyes flitted to Jeongguk's face at his muted reply, studying the awkward, tiny smile decorating it. A sigh bubbled at the back of Taehyung's throat and erupted from him seconds later as he exited the car. "Is jjajangmyeon okay?"

"Oh, I haven't eaten this in a while. Sounds good." Jeongguk now stood in the living room with his gaze glued to the floor, playing with his hands, uneasy.

Taehyung sighed once more as he neared him and reached out to brush his hair back but went stock still when Jeongguk shrank away from his touch. "Okay, did I do something?"

"No," he whispered and ducked his head, remorse cloaking his features.

"Then what's wrong?"

Jeongguk remained silent and headed to the couch with the other following him a beat later. "You wouldn't do anything to hurt me, right?"

"No, little bun. I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Yes, you wouldn't." A small smile dangled on the corner of his lips as he shook his head.

Taehyung observed him, still confused by his behavior. "Tell me what's wrong, please."

"It's just... Yunho said he saw us flirt. But I told him we weren't," Jeongguk added in haste. "Anyway, he said if you want something from me is to... Um, you know..."

"To sleep with you?"

"Yeah."

"Please, don't listen to him. He's probably jealous because I genuinely care about someone else and that someone isn't him. I didn't want anything else with him, Yunho was just a fuck, but he can't seem to understand that."

Jeongguk's eyes enlarged at his last remark. "Yah! How am I supposed to trust you if you talk like that about Yunho hyung!?"

"You're not the same, Jeongguk. With you, I want—" He forced his lips together and whipped his gaze away. What the fuck was I about to say exactly?

"With me what?" Jeongguk slid closer and searched for his eyes, but Taehyung turned his head away from him completely.

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"Jeongguk," he muttered, eyes finding their way back to his gorgeous face at his whiny tone. "With you, it's just different." He combed through his hair with his fingers and rested his hand on his nape. "To sit and talk to you about anything is more than enough for me. I don't want anything else from you." If you don't want me to.

"You don't?"

"It's not about what I want."

"It is. I want to... I want to know what you want too."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll do anything you want right now. All you have to do is tell me what you want."

Taehyung gazed at him in depth, looking for a gleam of humor on his face, in his eyes — anywhere — but found none. Still unable to believe he was serious, he broke into a smile and ruffled his hair. "You're adorable, Kookie."

The younger was left dumbfounded by his actions. He wasn't supposed to pull away, he was supposed to... kiss him? Or something at least! Was Seokjin wrong about what he said? Maybe Taehyung didn't have that in mind when he had said that. Maybe Seokjin was wrong after all. But if he wasn't, it was his chance to find out.

"Wait, I'm serious," Jeongguk retorted and got a low chuckle in response. "Don't laugh at me. Seriously, I'll do it."

"What are you going to do, little bun? You're talking like you know what I want when you don't know shit." The words spewed from him thoughtlessly in a tone that was a fraction sterner than he wanted.

Jeongguk's bottom lip peeked out as a scowl burst onto his face. "You're an ass," he hissed and sprang up from his seat.

"Jeongguk." He groaned once he saw him storm away with long legged-strides. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He surged behind him in a blaze of frustration. "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said that." He followed him to the bedroom and then the closet, but the younger was fast enough to shut the door in his face and lock it. "Yah!" He banged on the door on repeat. "Please, don't overreact."

"I will overreact as much as I want to! Go away," Jeongguk growled back as he sat beside the door.

"Okay. I'm sorry, really. It was mean and stupid and I shouldn't have said that. Can you not be mad at me now?"

"No."

"Jeongguk! Come on." Taehyung waited for any response but got nothing. "Are you really not going to talk to me now?" His hand contracted into a fist as he received silence once again. "Okay, I'm going to break the door if you don't open it in ten seconds."

"Don't do anything stupid. You'll get hurt."

"Then open the fucking door, please." He tapped his foot against the floor, waiting for something to happen, but of course, it didn't. "Get away from the door."

Panic braised in Jeongguk's gut as he scrambled to push himself to his feet. Is he really going do it? Without contemplating it more, he unlocked the door and yanked it open.

"Did you mean it?" Taehyung asked.

"What?"

"You want me to tell you what I want?"

Fingers digging into his palms, Jeongguk mustered up any fragment of courage and nodded, determined. "Yes."

Taehyung edged closer, his eyes riveted on his anxious face. He brushed his hair back with both hands until he wrapped his fingers around his nape, holding it in a loose grip. The churning of frustration and turbulence melted away from his gaze and something soft and fond took its place instead as he peered into the nervous boy. "I want you, little bun."

The soft-spoken statement rendered Jeongguk speechless, eyes grew rounder, mouth parted in astonishment.

"And no, I don't mean to sleep with you. I want to know you like no one else does. I want to make you laugh and keep you safe and happy. I want to cook for you and give you my clothes to wear to sleep. I want to do so many things with you and I never had this need before. I never needed anyone. Why do I keep asking for you? Why do I keep needing you in my life?"

Taehyung's warm, desperate gaze stayed locked with his shocked one. He pressed a long, tender kiss on his forehead, his lips lingering there more than usual. "I don't expect you to say anything. You simply asked me what I want, and I told you. Don't feel like you have to say anything back or return these feelings. I understand, and I don't want to pressure you—"

"Damn it, Tae," he said, his voice heavy with exasperation. "Why are you ruining the moment?"

"What?"

"Aren't you supposed to be kissing me now or something?"

Taehyung's frown of bewilderment vanished as his eyes popped. Too staggered to trust his voice at the moment, he swallowed and cleared his throat. "You want me to?"

"Now the moment is ruined." He pouted so hard he seemed to be on the verge of tears. He dropped his head in defeat, his shoulders slouching. "Why do you have to confuse me like this? Why couldn't you just do it instead of asking me to tell you what I want you to do? How was I supposed to know what you meant? I don't even know basic things and common sense. How was I supposed to know that?"

"I—I didn't think that you wanted me to."

"Then you're an idiot."

Taut silence spread through the room after Jeongguk's whispering reply as neither of them knew what to say or do. Taehyung truly felt like an idiot. He never had difficulty with kissing someone, but even at that moment that he knew Jeongguk wanted it too, he couldn't do it.

"I'll go take a shower." A few seconds of stillness went by before Jeongguk pivoted on his heel and shuffled towards the closet.

With a sigh, Jeongguk picked out whatever he found first and held the clothes tightly in his hug as he trudged to the exit, glancing at Taehyung, who was still standing there with his gaze unfocused, his brows creased, and a tiny pout veiling his lips.

He didn't stop, though. He slouched off with his head bowed until he arrived at the bathroom. Everything was a mess again, and he didn't know what to do. Taehyung confessed, and he called him off for not kissing him? It wasn't supposed to go like that.

But honestly, Jeongguk was scared. Although he wanted him, he didn't know why it was so stressful to say it or just let the man kiss him. It was so simple, yet it made him an anxious mess.

The warm water poured down his skin gently — the cuts on his back didn't sting so much this time. His movements were torpid as he was plunged into a mire of sullenness. He was supposed to be the happiest man alive since Taehyung, the man who was able to make his heart flutter and his face turn beet red with a simple action or word confessed with such desperation in his eyes.

And he knew Taehyung didn't ruin the moment. He was the one who ruined it. Although he called him off for not kissing him on his own, just the idea of that happening made things to him he couldn't possibly comprehend or handle.

After his long shower, he trod out of the bathroom fully dressed, and mild noise infiltrated his ears. He snapped his head to the kitchen's direction and mused over if he should go there since Taehyung was probably cooking or just go to the bedroom.

He bit his lower lip and stepped towards the bedroom, but a louder crash booming across the whole house seized him up. His brows bumped together as he heard Taehyung groan and say something incoherent, and he dashed to the kitchen, worried.

He found Taehyung sitting on the floor with jjajangmyeon sauce spilled all over the counter and floor beside him.

"I ruined our food too. Sorry," he murmured when he noticed the boy standing there with confusion written on his face.

Jeongguk edged closer, not failing to spot the broken pan in the sink. "What happened?"

Taehyung ran both hands through his hair. "It slipped my hand and all the food was spilled everywhere. I got pissed and smashed the pan."

"Yeah, I can see that," he uttered with a snort as he kneeled in front of him. "It's okay. We can order something." The proximity helped him take a better look at him, and he curled his lips inwards in his attempt to stifle an amused chuckle that wanted to explode out of his mouth.

His choked sound caused Taehyung to lift his head and give him a questioning glare. "What are you laughing at?"

Unable to hold back anymore, soft giggles escaped him. "You just have jjajangmyeon all over your hair."

Taehyung frowned even more as he examined his hands, only to see jjajangmyeon sauce all over them. Another chortle pierced through his senses, and he shot his gaze at the source. "You think it's funny?"

And right there, Jeongguk regretted every laugh that slipped out of his mouth as Taehyung wiped his hands on his face with a smug, teasing smile on his lips. He gasped and gaped at him in pure shock. "I just had a shower, you meanie!" he grumbled as he shoved his shoulder, not hard enough to hurt him.

Taehyung broke into laughter, his eyes shut, and his boxy smile on full display.

Well, seeing that from that proximity had Jeongguk chuckling too as his gaze softened and brimmed with fondness for him. "I hate you," he teased as he nudged his shoulder once more.

"You're enjoying this a little too much to hate me for this."

"I think I enjoy everything with you."

"You do?" Taehyung questioned, amazed by what he just heard. He received a few timid nods in response and cracked a lopsided smile. "I do more." He stretched a hand to cup his face, but Jeongguk grabbed his wrist.

"Isn't my face already dirty enough?"

"Fine, I'll order something, take a shower, and then you'll let me cuddle you, okay?"

For a moment in that mess, Jeongguk forgot about the awkward incident that took place thirty minutes ago. And although he recalled everything that happened, he decided to push it aside and smile. "Okay."

⚜✳⚜
 

Second update today? 🤔

Soft hours😭🥺

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Happy birthday to the most talented and best leader ever existed💜

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