After dinner that night, I decided to go see Zeph. I wasn't really sure what compelled me to do it, what exactly about the 'hell hole', as Zeph called it, comforted me. Maybe it was the eerie silence of the place, or maybe just Zeph's presence. All I knew was that I needed to escape from the grim reality that was my house. However, that was not to happen.

"Asteroth, can we talk for a moment?"

I stopped dead in my tracks and lowered my hand from the door knob. Just a few more seconds and I would have been out of the front door. Why was my dad calling me at eight at night anyway? 

I turned around to face him, trying to keep my face as free of anger as I could, making a conscious effort to not sound sarcastic as I answered, "Yes?"

My dad stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes clouding over just a little before he shook his head. "Next weekend, I am not sure if you remember. It's first of the tenth month."

"Oh," my shoulders slumped. First of the tenth month which meant only two months left till the Carnival. Moreover, it meant time for the 'Rise of Light' dance. An age old tradition for pompous rich people to dress up in their most expensive clothing and assembling at the House for a ball. "And?"

He sighed. "I assume I already know your answer, but if would like, you can partake in it."

I blinked rapidly at him, disbelieving. Did he really want me to be part of a public social event? 

He walked closer, "Curiosity about you has been growing lately. Maybe if you met a bunch of people it would be set to rest."

I chewed on my bottom lip slowly. Did he really want me to make an almost public appearance? Even after last time when I had met the Elders from the House and committed the blasphemy of wearing white?

"Meet them..." I swallowed hard. "I don't want to make a fool of myself. I have never really partaken in any such events."

"Which is why, you must start somewhere," he shrugged. "You wouldn't have to do much. Just present yourself. Meet a few people. Then you can retreat to your own room for the night. I have an instructor. An etiquette instructor. She can teach you the basics if that helps you feel more confident." 

I gaped at him. Was this his twisted way of making amends? Did he on some level actually feel guilty about using Kai as a stand-in? How could I ever be sure of any of his actions?

"I don't...know," I admitted. "I..."

"The House Elders, sent me an invitation letter to the ball. It specially mentions you. So out of respect, I think it would be best to attend," he sighed. Of course he wasn't happy about it. But at least he wasn't making someone else go to the ball as me. Maybe that was an improvement? "The offer stands," he said before turning to leave without another word. I stared after him. If I went to the ball and met a bunch of random strangers, I was more than likely going to make a fool myself. But then again, it would be an opportunity for me to actually be a part of something my family did. 

I couldn't come to a decision just yet and decide to shove it in the back of my mind. Only it kept resurfacing every few seconds. To the point where even after I reached the Nest, I couldn't stop thinking about it.  It was easier to forget about it for a while- thanks to the incessant screaming. 

The moment I walked inside the darkened warehouse, I heard a blood curdling shriek and even before I could wrap my head around anything, a small figure, a blur of colours ran towards me and hugged my waist. 

"STOP ZEPH!"

Zeph appeared in front of me, a malicious smile on his face, his eyes glinting. "Come on, Zyra! I swear, they're not harmful. You just gotta be a bit careful. If they bite you, you're gonna turn all blue."

"I don't wanna be blue!" Zyra cried, hugging me tighter. "STOP!"

Zeph chuckled and raised his eyebrows at me. "Hey."

"Sorry to barge in on you terrorizing little kids," I rolled my eyes, gently patting Zyra's shoulders. She was trembling, her face pale and eyes stricken. 

He grinned wider. "Hey, just preparing her for the outside world. On a serious note though-" he walked closer to us. "Zyra, you might wanna stay upstairs for a bit. Don't go near the edge of it okay? It's gonna get dusty here." 

Zyra nodded and sprinted out as fast as she had arrived. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Just a bit of cleaning," he said. "We're restocking. Throwing away a bunch of expired stuff. Zia's orders. She said the place smells like-" he scrunched up his face, thinking- "-that last banana peel stuck at the bottom of a trash can."

"That's suspiciously specific," I said. "So I assume you guys are busy?"

"I guess," he said. "Didn't expect to see you here after dinner. What happened?"

I shrugged, shoving my hands in my pocket. "Nothing just...can I help?"

He gazed at me silently. "It's...it's pretty fucking gross."

I nodded. "Yes. I...I'd like to remain busy."

He gazed at me for a bit longer before finally giving in and leading me to the storage room. At once, the air around me was filled with voices, loud voices. I could barely distinguish Zia's as she commanded everyone on what to do. She pointed me to the three neat piles she had made near the wall. One for canned goods, two for different levels of expired goods. 

"Its really subjective though," Josh whined. "Like three months off the expiry date for strawberry syrup, honestly I'd swing with that."

"Strawberry syrup is fine, whatever," she clicked her tongue. "Bread with fungus, no."

"It's just a tiny bit," Nyxa protested. 

"No," Zia said firmly. "It only shows a tiny bit but it's actually spread to the entire thing. Discard."

I glanced at Zeph who was leaning against the doorway, an amused expression on his face. 

"You know you can help too, Zeph," Zia said as I picked up a few cans to check their expiry dates. 

"I think you've got it under control, babe," he grinned as I tried the ignore the pang in my chest. 

She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. "We need some basic medicines as well," she said. "Lee, can you make a list?"

Time passed in almost a haze as we slowly and steadily cleaned everything up, stacking the cans on top of each other, placing the edible vegetables wrapped in plastic in an ice box, throwing the spoiled vegetables in a large cannister. And although the smell of kilograms of spoiled vegetables was hard to stomach, it was enough to keep my mind engaged for which I was grateful. The Hawks usually had very limited supplies of fresh vegetables and way more of those that were on the brink of spoilage- owing to their cheap prices. 

It took almost two hours to effectively clean the storage room. I stepped back as Josh collapsed to the ground with an exaggerated sigh. "Absolute tyranny, Zia," he groaned, massaging his shoulders. 

"Well, this wouldn't happen if some people-" she glanced very deliberately at Zeph, "-just kept things back where they belong. But that being said, good job everyone. I'll get you all something to drink."

"Can I help?" I asked immediately, not willing to be left alone to my thoughts. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded. I followed her outside the room and into the darkened hallway. I had been to the makeshift 'kitchen' a few times. Although with just a furnace, an oven and a few shelves of cutlery- it could barely qualify as one. 

"Are you okay?" she asked as she reached for the glasses on the top shelf, her fingers brushing just the edge of it as she sighed in frustration. 

"Let me," I said as I placed the glass on the counter one by one. Eleven in total. 

"Thank you," she said, reaching for a packet of some kind. "Zyra is asleep so eleven glasses for us is enough." 

I nodded and went to fetch the large water can, placing it onto the counter. I watched silently as she opened the packet and poured a couple of spoons of the light orange powder into every glass. Some kind of squash I assumed. 

"I gotta say I'm a bit surprised to see you here today," she said. "Pleasantly of course. But I wonder...is everything fine?"

I shrugged. I didn't really know how to answer her question. In reality, everything was fine. Wasn't it? There wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. If anything, dad inviting me to the ball had kinda thrown me off. We worked in silence for a few minutes as she stirred each of the glasses and counted. "Five trips and one extra between the two of us to give these to them," she said. "Mental note- we need a tray."

"Three," Zeph called from behind and I turned to see him near the doorway. "I'll help."

Soon  enough, we distributed the drinks among everyone and I sat down in a corner, finally forced to face the thoughts I had bene escaping. The ball. The socialization. I didn't even know how to act in front of everyone. But this was the first time, and might as well be the last time that my dad had ever asked me to take part in such an event. How could I say no? 

 I wasn't really paying any attention to my surroundings, my gaze fixed on the orange drink in my hand. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I just slipped in and out of the ball? Who would even find out?

"Earth to Asteroth."

Zeph's voice snapped me out of my reverie and I glanced up to see him gazing down at me, his head tilted slightly. He raised the drink in his hand and spoke, "You okay?"

"Yeah just...thinking," I said. He sat beside me and the sudden warmth made my heart skip a beat, followed immediately with my gut tightening out of guilt. 

"About?" he asked.

"It's kinda dumb," I sighed. "It's a...a Lightwielder thing."

"That does sound dumb," he said. "But it's clearly bothering you so, what is it?"

I sighed and leaned against the wall. "Two months before the carnival...we have this ball-"

"Rise Of Light Ball, yes I've heard," he said. "What about it? I thought you never went to those shit shows."

"That's the thing," I turned to look at him. "This year, my dad invited me and...I don't know if I should go."

"He...he invited you?" his eyes widened. "That's really weird."

"I think he's trying to overcompensate," I admitted. "But either way...I don't know if I should go. I mean...I'll get to meet Arthur, Amelia and Asher. And...a bunch of people."

"Like that girl you had a crush on when you were little?" he grinned.

I felt my cheeks reddening. How pathetically had I tried to cover up my crush on Zeph?

"Maybe," I said. "I just...don't want to make a fool of myself. It's kinda... I mean...it could be fun I guess. The food will be great...I just-"

"Sounds like you really want to go," he said. "And you should go."

I sighed and bit my lip. "Maybe."

"You should go and if you feel awkward just leave. Slip out. You're never gonna see those people again if you don't want to. So if worse comes to worst and you do make a fool of yourself-"

"Zeph stop with the optimism you're making me blush," I said in a flat tone. 

He clicked his tongue. "Always think the worst. And what's the worst that can happen? Will you die? No. Will you maybe get drunk, knock a few statues and drunkenly dance naked on the table and have a bunch of greasy food thrown at your bare ass? Maybe. But you'll live."

"That...that...is so unnecessarily graphic," I said, struggling to fight a smile.

"Nihilism, it's a way of life," he said, winking at me. And even though he was just being stupid, my heart couldn't help but flutter. 

"I...I guess I will go. And hope no greasy food gets thrown at my bare ass," I said. 

"Yeah, feels icky man," he sipped on the drink serenely as I stared at him. He didn't elaborate however. 

"When is it?" he asked. 

"Next weekend. And what's more, dad's gonna enroll me in a dance class for a week. Crash course. So I don't look stupid on that day," I said. 

"Fancy," he smirked.  "You're gonna be okay."

My breath caught in my throat as he placed his hand on my thigh again. Maybe as an act of comfort, but the way my pulse started racing, I was the farthest thing from comforted. But he was right. I had to picture the worst case scenario. And maybe, just maybe, I would be alright.