The hands of the clock ticked away by every second, his sweat slipped from his forehead to his cheeks. He smelled the coffee next to him, it was third time they had changed his cup despite the fact that he had an drank the first two. The warm smoke was stroking his cheek, embracing him, sometimes he focused on that sensation just so he would distract himself but he still didnt drink it. He felt like nothing was going down, no matter how much he wanted to. His hands were laid on the wooden table, his eyes must have followed the cracks on the wood back and forth at least 20 times. He avoided their eyes, they only made him feel more nervous than he was and he avoided talking to much because talking meant feeling and he didn’t want to feel anything. He just wanted this to be over the soonest, he just wanted to get back to the hospital.

“Commander McGarrett.” Called Toby rom the other side of the table. Steve kept his eyes down still, ignoring his voice. Toby tried again “Steve".  Maybe if he didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t have to answer the same damn questions again. “Steve, you need some water?”
“no.” he said quickly and cleared his throat in attempt to make his voice sound a little lighter.
“shall we continue then?”
“sure.”
“tell me what happened.”
He slapped his hand on the table in frustration “I’ve told your friends what happened about a thousand times."
“then let’s make it a thousandth and one because I still don't know.”
Steve looked away, collecting himself. Whatever there was to collect anyway. “she was in the car-"
“no Steve I wanna take it from the top."
“this is the top.”
“the top is the mission you were given in Mexico-"
“it had NOTHING to do with the mission.”
“my friends bet it different”
“with all due respect agent, your friends are stupid.”

Toby McHale leaned in the table, looking at him in the eyes “with all due respect Commander, you are a smartass and that’s the last thing you wanna be right now. I’m trying to help you. Now-" he sat back on his chair and put on his glasses, smiling “let’s take it from the top shall we.”
Steve bit his tongue, fighting to stay calm but God knows he wanted to run out of this place and punch everyone that stepped in his away. Unconsciously his feet started tapping nervously on the floor, he held his hands in a fist and looked in Toby's eyes. “it was 5 months ago-"
“hm?”
“we were called by your agency 5 months ago to go to Mexico, kill the boss of the Sinaloa cartels and get a burned agent back home.”
“who was the agent?”
“my mother.”
“and where Is she now?”

Steve looked down; he closed his eyes as the memories played on his mind like a slideshow. Something woke inside him, a heavy feeling that made his entire body shiver. “she’s dead" he said behind his lips, the words barely reaching Toby’s ear.
“and what about last night?”
Oh, last night, what a horrible night. The red color flowed like river on the brown floor, her weak gasps echoed in his head, they were soft and scary, again and again , it was like he was sitting next to him, like her ghost was right there, breathing in and out and he admitted it “I have no idea what happened last night.”
Toby nodded “ok then. Do me a favor and ran me through the mission. Everything.”
“that’s gonna take a long time"
“trust me we have a lot of that.”

5 MONTHS EARLIER
WASHINGTON

Kate Harper moved through the familiar hallways on the White House, smiling to all the familiar faces until she reached her office. She started by putting her papers in order, she could never leave them on the desk like that before leaving. Then she had to throw out all the food she hard ordered which of course had remained uneaten since she barely had any time to eat. While cleaning she noticed at a red folder on her desk. She called for her secretary and Margaret came running in, in the sound if her name.

“what is this?” she asked
“it’s the briefing you asked for. I wasn’t allowed to read it but they sent it in from the Pentagon.”
Kate nodded and gestured for her secretary to leave. She sat down on her chair and opened the file, reading through it carefully. She knew the names on it too well, Amelia Wesley, Steve McGarrett. They were no stranger to the national security advisor of the United states. Especially Amelia they had met under very unusual circumstances just a few months ago and now she was sent on a suicide mission in the wild. She had really liked her that day, Amelia told her a story about a Zen master, which at the time had left her in deep thinking and worrying. They had kept a little contact ever since but nothing much. Yet there was some sort of feeling, a voice in Kate’s head that kept telling Amelia might need her help to get out of the mission alive. She blocked it out immediately, threw the papers on the desk, reminded herself the dangers that would occur if she was even thought to be helping her. It was a disavowed operation, Amelia and Steve were the puppets in a lager play and their strings were so fragile. Perhaps what Kate needed right now was a Zen Master to tell her what she ought to do but no- she blocked the thought out again and stood up. She put the files in her briefcase and walked out of her office. She headed home and left the briefcase on her couch, got in the shower and tried to distract herself but all she could think that night as she laid in bed was how little chance her new friend had surviving because the truth was no matter how brave and smart you are, the operation they were on was more difficult than anyone could even begin to imagine.

On the next morning, Kate went back to her office as any other day. “Margaret!” she told her secretary “good morning. Listen I need you to do me a favor, I need you to cancel everything I have for tomorrow.”
“everything?”
“yes I need the day off.”
“what am I supposed to say?”
“I don’t know figure it out.”
“well- where will you be?”
“home. I have to look on some things.”
“do you need me to be there with you?”
“no.” she shook her head “I need you here, okay?”
“yes of course ma’am”

HAWAII
5-0 HEADQUARTERS

Danny stared at the wall, he had his head on his hand, pouting with his lips. It had been 2 days since Amelia and Steve were off to their top-secret adventure and there was no way to know if they were dead or alive. They could possibly already be dead and the team would never know. They had hope, surely, but how hopeful was hope in this sort of a situation. It seemed for the last couple of years that that was all they were holding on to, hope, high hopes, false hope or unreasonable hope. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying to keep his mind awake.

“you're still here?” asked Grover stepping in, he sat on the sofa across from his desk and crossed his arms. “I just sent Kono and chin home. Do I have to drag you out too?”
Danny scoffed and laid back, looking at the ceiling “I haven’t been able to sleep. I hate Grace seeing me like this.”
“I can guarantee you no one in this office has slept since they left but there’s nothing, we can do about its Danny. Boss was clear, he doesn’t want any of us involved.”
Danny tapped his fingers on the armchair, thinking “maybe we should."
“and jeopardizing their entire mission so far?”
“what if they die and we never find out? What If they are already dead? You don’t even need to be doing what they are doing and die when you get to Columbia.”
“Danny they are a thousand scenarios, bad one that could have occurred already but thinking about them won’t fix anything.”
“thinking about them is all I can do Grover! I can’t go out there and help them, I don’t even know where they are right now and there is no way to find out because CIA has burned down all their traces- thinking about them, worrying about them, is the only thing that keeps them alive in my head!”
“so, what are you gonna do, bruh?” he asked, sitting straighter "you won’t sleep again till they come back?”
“will they come back?”
Grover smiled “we're talking about captain America and captain marvel” he nodded, laughing a little “trust me, they'll be back.”

COLOMBIA AIRPORT

“have you ever noticed how in movies Colombia always looks yellow?” Asked Amelia while they got out of the plane with their backpacks on their shoulders.
Steve glanced at her from his shoulder “what?”
“in movies. They always make it look yellow or orange but it looks exactly the same to me.”
“do all these thoughts live in your head by default?” he asked teasing her “or do you try really hard to create them?”
“copying mechanism." Ste explained "When your grow up trying to distract yourself from everything, you’d be surprised of how many things you can think about.”
Steve nodded, smiling at her. He put his arm around her while they walked in the parking lot to find their point man. Under any other circumstances this might even be romantic.

DEA, Captain Mateo Dias was waiting for them at the end of the parking lot. He waved as soon as he saw them. Steve motioned his head at him.
“nice to meet you Commander, agent.” He told them, shaking their hands “before we go on you should know that if you get in the car, there is no turning back. I have food for the next 11 hours but there won't be any sort of McDonald's to stop at on our way to Panama." He smiled “I intend to make this trip as quick as possible. No stops.”
“what if we need to pee?” asked Amelia, trying to crack a joke.  Steve looked at her, raising his eyebrows. She cleared her throat “what it’s an honest question-"
“if you’re ready Captain. Diaz, we are ready to go.” Said Steve, ignoring Amelia’s humor. Captain Diaz smiled again and they all got in the car, the engine started and they were off. No turning back.

Here we go. I promise for a satisfying ending. This book will be going back and forth so be sure to read with attention. I'm very very excited. I love you all, next chapter will come in a couple of days. Comment your thoughts xx