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STAYING BEHIND

Jason's front landed with a satisfying smack against the mat as I grabbed his leg, twisted my body to throw one of mine on the other side and bared my weight behind him, twisting his ankle just enough for him to release a hiss of pain.

Aiden watched with wide eyes from the sidelines, Gar and Conner taking a break from their own training to watch with amusement. My arms "spasmed" just a little, giving my grasp on Jason an extra twist and shot of pain. "Fuck, Maddie, I think he gets it! Shit."

I smiled smugly, knowing he was right but not caring.

We'd been spending the last hour or so sparring and lightly training Aiden, Jason and my competitive sides taking over quickly. Paired with the fact I was still pissed at him for his disappearing act and this lesson had become one for him too.

So instead of acknowledging his words, I spoke to Aiden, not loosening my grip. "If you apply enough pressure and at the right angle, you can snap their leg before they even realize it."

"Maddie--" Jason grunted and I let go with a laugh. He let out a hiss of air as I stepped around him and sat to the side. Rolling on his back, he sat up and bent his knee to his chest, massaging the leg and ankle.

"There's no way I can do that," Aiden stated.

"Not right away--"

"Not ever. I'm not fast enough. Before you showed up, he was kicking my ass."

Jason snickered. "Yeah I was."

I rolled my eyes, a smirk taking over as I leaned back on my hands. "Yeah, well, clearly he has something he's overcompensating for." Jason flipped me off without looking and I suppressed a laugh. "We're not trying to purposely beat your ass, we're trying to help you. And the fact of the matter is, if someone is picking a fight with you it isn't because they intend on being best friends by the end."

"I get that and everything but I just don't understand why I have to learn to fight," Aiden shrugged. "I mean, what's the point of having powers if we don't use them?"

"You can't always rely on them," I answered. "Something can interfere that ends up leaving you vulnerable to attack. At least if you can fight, you give yourself more of a chance."

"What could interfere with my power?"

"My brother," I said flatly. "His trick is messing with peoples heads, remember? All he has to do is make you think you don't have powers and guess what? Poof goes you're teleporting."

Aiden's eyes widened, like the thought never occurred to him. It almost reminded me of myself before Dick and Donna started with my combat training. The only difference was that I wanted to be trained, mainly in case I ran into another exception to my pheromones like Dick.

Well, that and it looked fun watching them spar and that part of me fighting my attraction to Dick saw the perfect opportunity to get my hands on him. And vise versa.

Honestly, that was probably the start of my downfall by Grayson.

"It's going to take a lot of training to be as far along as us, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it," I added for reassurance. He nodded, but it was more distracted than anything else.

An alert sounded through the speakers above us, followed by Dick's voice crackling over the loudspeaker. "There's been another armored car robbery. Conner, Jason, suit up, you're heading out with Hank."

Conner and Jason grinned at each other, their excitement practically electric around me as they got to their feet. I ground my teeth together, noticing how Dick pointedly left me out of that assignment. "Same crew we've been tracking for the last couple of weeks?" I called out, looking directly at one of the cameras.

The pause before he answered told me what I already figured out. "Looks like it."

"Great, I'm going too," I said, practically jumping to my feet and heading out of the training room before he could say another word. There were speakers all throughout the tower, but I knew he wasn't going to argue over them. He'd save that for in person.

Sure enough, as I grabbed my suit from its case and turned around, Dick stepped into the room behind me. I held up a hand to cut him off before he could start and he came to a stop with his chest pressed against my palm, surprisingly calmer than I expected.

"There's nothing you could say that would change my mind," I said, knowing that wasn't necessarily true. "We've been tracking them awhile and I want to figure out what they're up to already. Not to mention, I have a lot of pent up...whatever and I just need to work it off."

He smirked despite himself, pushing against my palm and stepping into me until my back pressed into the wall. "I can think of a better way you could work that 'whatever' off," he said quietly, heat immediately flooding my skin.

There goes that exception...

I shook my head with a small smile, licking my lips as I looked up at him. "As tempting and entertaining as that sounds, I said there was something I needed to work off, not play." I leaned up to brush my lips against his and added, "But definitely keep that idea for later."

He laughed lightly and I used the minor distraction to push him backward enough to slip by. He barely let me pass before his fingers closed around my wrist and pulled me back.

"Grayson, I told you--"

"I know and I'm not trying to stop you," he interrupted, chuckling at the clear surprise on my face. He pulled me in closer, using his other hand to cup the back of my neck as he kissed me deeply, but softly. When he broke it to look back at me, his cheek twitched, fighting back a smug smile. "I was just going to tell you to stay safe."

"Stay...safe?" I repeated, feeling like I didn't understand anything going on. "That's it?" Dick nodded, one side of his mouth pulling up into a smile as he watched me. "Grayson, are you feeling okay? Did you get a concussion or something I didn't know about?"

"No," he laughed again. "Why?"

"Because you're not fighting me on going on this mission so soon after all that stuff with my head. You're not even insisting to go with." He looked away, staying silent. "Dick," I said, narrowing my eyes. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," he sighed. "I'm just staying behind to keep an eye on Aiden and wait for a call back from Roy."

My interest piqued immediately, reminded of the phone call he'd successfully made me forget before. "Call back about what?"

Dick smirked, shaking his head. "I know your brain has been through some stuff lately, but trust me, I won that fight which means I don't have to answer that."

"I remember perfectly fine, but I also know today's a new day and that deal doesn't have to apply. So spill." I expected him to fight me on it some more, so he surprised me when he sighs before speaking.

"If I tell you, you aren't going to have time to go on this mission."

I put my suit on the lid of its case, picked up my phone from the dresser behind me and shot Jason a text that there was a change of plans and they should leave without me before turning back to Dick with my arms crossed over my chest. Tilting my head pointedly, I waited for him to start.

"Figures, the one time I'm not seriously talking you out of a mission..." he mumbled, turning towards the room door and closing it. He kept me waiting as he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge, watching me. "I asked Roy if he could use ARGUS resources to look more into CADMUS. To look more into the files on you and Roman. I figured with all the tests they must've run, there's no way we had everything."

"You lied to me," I said through my teeth, hands balling into fists against my biceps. "You told me that the call wasn't about me."

"Technically, it's not," he replied. His dark eyes never left mine as he spoke, as if he was trying to gauge my reaction to each word before he went on. "The focus is on Roman's files; un-redacting them as much as possible, finding anything new that would be helpful. Making sure we know exactly what he's capable of so we aren't surprised next time."

"Okay, that doesn't sound terrible," I said slowly, starting to watch him just as carefully now. There was something more he wasn't saying; I could tell by the way he sat completely still. "So, why were you trying to keep it from me? It sounds like more recon."

"It is. Partially."

"More words, Grayson."

Dick sighed. "I told Roy to look for anything that we could use to strip Roman of his powers entirely without killing him."

I heard the words, but they took a minute to fully set in. "Without killing him?" I repeated and Dick just nodded. "You actually said those words?" Another nod.

The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of him with my hand pressed to his forehead and looking closer at his eyes. "You don't feel like you have a fever and your eyes look clear—"

"Madds," he said, trying to pull his head away. My other hand wrapped around the back of his neck, holding him in place as I kept checking.

"How've you been feeling lately? Really?"

"I'm fine, Madalyn," he huffed out, annoyed. "I feel fine. Nothing is or has been wrong with me."

"Well something has to be wrong because we're clearly no longer on the same page like I thought we were," I said, pulling my hand down to his shoulder. "Roman's the enemy, Dick, he tried to kill us, remember? He's still trying—"

"I know!" Dick snapped, hands on my hips as he pushed me carefully to the side and got to his feet. With his back turned he ran his hand through his hair and I watched his shoulders rise and fall more rapidly. "I know what he is and what he's done. You know I want him dead more than anything right now."

"Then why did you say that to Roy? That's the part I'm not understanding here."

One hand balled into a fist at his side, the muscle flexing beneath the skin as he kept his back to me. I could tell he was trying to get his breathing calmer before he spoke again and it only made me nervous.

What if something was wrong with him? What if it was my fault somehow? Maybe my pheromones were breaking past the innoculations and I was unconsciously making him sick. Maybe Roman had noticed it somehow when he was in my head and was using it to his advantage now.

Maybe this was a dream and I wasn't even awake.

I pinched my arm as hard as I could, the stinging shooting through it and confirming I was awake. Which was in no way comforting.

"You talk in your sleep. A lot." I just stood there, waiting for the connection. He turned back to face me. "You didn't used to, but it's been happening since you've been back. Specifically since you met Roman."

My brows drew down. "What do I say?"

"Sometimes it's just mumbling, sometimes it's my name," he answered. "Sometimes you're begging for something or someone to stop. But a lot more lately you've been asking someone what happened to your family and why you have to be the only one left."

"I—what?" I fumbled, completely caught off guard. His name, I expected but the last part was definitely a shock. "I've really said that? I don't even remember dreaming anything where I would..." I was wracking my brain but couldn't come up with anything.

If it wasn't a horrifying nightmare of me killing Dick or one of Roman's visits, I didn't remember it.

"Well, you have. I try to get you to talk about your dreams but you never want to and I'm not going to push you on it. But I'm not going to stand around and act like I don't hear it either. If I can find a way to let you keep whatever is left of your family, then I will. Whether I hate him or not."

"Grayson..." I started, stepping towards him. "You're my family. You have to know that by now."

"Of course," he shrugs. "But as long as I've known you you've only ever wanted to know about your past, and that led you to a brother. Deny it all you want, but I know there's a part of you that wishes things were different with him."

"That's the point though, they aren't. And they won't ever be. As much as I love you for thinking of ways for me to keep my remaining, murderous blood relative, you don't have to. I've been fine without him because I have you and that's all I need." I grabbed his face between my hands, tracing his jawline with my thumbs. "Thank you for thinking so selflessly for me but you don't have to. All you have to do is be here next to me."

Dick bent his neck to rest his forehead on mine, letting out a tense breath. "Always. I just don't want you to resent me in the future for what you think you want now."

"Never happening," I shook my head, a smirk crossing my face. "Besides, who needs a trash brother like Roman when I have a pain in the ass like Jason around, right?"

He chuckled, the tension just barely leaving his body when mine suddenly seized tightly, a jagged stabbing pain pulsing through my head, eyes shutting tight. My hands tightened on his face as I flinched, gritting my teeth against the scream desperately trying to break free.

"Madds? What's wrong?"

A gasp pushed up from my chest, my eyes snapping open but not seeing Dick or our bedroom. I could hear him and feel his hands on me but I was in some sort of lab.

A CADMUS lab, from what I remembered seeing in the videos.

"Madalyn!"

A woman with short brown hair stood in front of me with a forced half smile and a needle in her hand. Her mouth was opening but no words were coming out; just moving lips which had an oddly comical effect with Dick's voice in my ears.

"Madalyn, do you hear me?"

I did; I just couldn't speak to tell him so.

I could still make myself move though, so I slid one hand down to his shoulder and squeezed. Based on the way his hands tightened on my arms, I figured it wasn't as reassuring as I'd been aiming for.

My vision started to flicker as the pain grew more intense, the image of the lab glitching to reveal Dick's concerned face every few seconds. When it stabilized again, the woman's face was inches from mine. Still, she was talking but I couldn't hear her. Then my vision panned down, watching as she injected me with something.

There was a brief sense of calm, the throbbing in my head subsiding a little...

And then something like fire raged through my body, spine going ramrod straight and hands balling into fists against Dick. I fell forward stiffly, feeling his arms around me as he tried to pull me up, panicked swears falling from his lips. My throat tightened like I was trying to scream but something blocked the sound from coming out.

Ten seconds of confusing, agonizing torment and then my body went limp against his, my breaths coming out ragged.

"Madds, are you—"

"Still breathing, Grayson," I tried to say teasingly, like my lungs didn't ache with the effort. "And before you ask, no, I have no idea what the hell that was. I was just— I was here but I also wasn't. I was with you but I was also not."

Again, I felt his hands roaming over me before his arms circled my waist and hooked under my knees to pull me into his chest as he started to move. Slowly, I opened my eyes and watched him walk us to the head of the bed before laying me down on it and sitting on the edge against my hip. His rough hands slid along my neck, feeling my pulse point and making their way along my heated face.

"You're burning up," he murmured, getting up from the bed to disappear into the bathroom.

I could hear the sink water running and closed my eyes, using the sound to help calm my breathing back to normal. By the time he turned the faucet off, my pulse was back to its baseline and my body had started to relax.

A cold towel pressed gently on my throat, dragging along both sides of my face and then rested on my forehead before the bed dipped again with Dick's weight beside me. He didn't say anything and I knew he was waiting for me to elaborate on what happened.

I sighed. "I was in a CADMUS lab, I mean, that's what it looked like."

"Roman," Dick said gruffly and I opened my eyes to look over at him.

"Maybe. But this felt different; more real. I think it was a memory, back from when my parents were doing the experiments." His jaw clenched angrily. "I was being injected with something. And I'm pretty sure it was by my mom."

His eyes softened just slightly. "Your mom? Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I couldn't hear it but she was saying something to me and it seemed like she was trying to...I don't know, reassure me I guess? It was like she was explaining something to me but I just don't know what. Then she injected me and everything just...went bad."

"And you're sure it was a memory? Not just a mind game from him?"

"I mean, it could've still been a mind game," I answered. "But I'm positive it was a memory too."

I could almost see his mind turning over the details, trying to figure out what it meant. His brows drew down and he looked at a spot above my head on the headboard, his jaw muscle twitching every so often. His shoulders were so tense, I could barely see them move when he breathed.

"What are you thinking?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"I don't know," he answered stiffly, looking back at me. "And that's the problem."

I opened my mouth to say something else, though truthfully I had no idea what at this point, but there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" I called out, both our attention focused on it now.

"It's me," Gar's voice answered from the other side, sounding off. "I was just with Aiden and...something happened."

"What?" Dick asked, immediately getting to his feet as he glanced down at me.

"I don't know exactly, he just started screaming like he was in pain or something and then passed out."

Dick closed the distance from our bed to the door with quickness that left me startled for a moment, pulling the door open to find a concerned Gar on the other side. The boy's green hair quivered as he flinched back, just as surprised by Dick's sudden presence.

"When exactly did this happen?"

"Just a few minutes ago," Gar answered, eyes darting between Dick and me as I sat up, wet towel falling to my lap.

Dick looked over at me too, his face seeming to say exactly what I was thinking. "The same time as me. No way that's a coincidence."

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