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DECIDED

I must've fallen asleep after that because i swore all I did was blink but when my eyes opened again, Conner and Krypto were gone, the sun was significantly lower in the sky and Dick sat peacefully beside me. He sat on the building edge, legs over the side like me, looking out at the streets below us with his back to me. I stared at him for a bit, wondering when he'd gotten there and curious to why he hadn't brought me inside like he normally would.

His back was still to me but I wasn't surprised when he said, "Look who's finally up."

A smiled tugged at the corners of my mouth. "How'd you know?"

He shrugged, turning his face just enough to let me see his smirk. "The snoring stopped."

I glared at him. "I'd punch you for that right now, but I don't want to end up accidentally throwing you off the building."

"The plants would've saved me," he said simply with a shrug.

"Yeah, probably," I agreed, sitting up next to him. "How long have I been out?"

"Few hours," he answered. "Connor asked if I wanted him to bring you down to our room but I figured it'd be safer if he didn't."

"Grayson, the kid is indestructible, I don't think some plants attacking him would feel like more than a tap."

"Oh, I agree. I meant it'd be safer from your wrath if he didn't. You know, in case he woke you up."

"Hardy har," I grumbled with a roll of my eyes. The last of the suns rays hit us from an angle on Dick's side, putting his sculpted features on display.

God, this man was beautiful.

"So why didn't you take me inside? My wrath never seems to faze you."

"I was giving you more time out here."

"To sleep?" I snorted.

"With the sun," he replied calmly. From his tone and the slow turn of his head towards me, I knew what he meant. I knew that he knew. He was always just that good. "I'm not an idiot Madds, I've noticed you out here more."

I winced, darting my eyes across the horizon in attempt to avoid his. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Probably for the same reason that you haven't," Dick sighed. "Denial. If we don't acknowledge something is different, then maybe it isn't."

"What do you think it means?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. "Think I'm finally turning into a giant walking plant? Jason would have a field day with that." I let out a laugh but it sounded forced even to me. "There's a silver lining at least. If I die then Roman definitely will—"

"You aren't going to die," Dick snapped, his tone harsher than I'd ever heard it. I looked at him this time, the cut of his brows and the blown out look of his irises the only things on his face betraying his fear of the contrary. To say it hurt to look at would be a massive understatement. "I'm not letting you."

"Grayson, you know as well as me that that's not how death works," I said softly, reaching out for him but stopping when he flinched. I moved to drop my hand in my lap again, but his own wrapped tightly around mine before I could.

"I don't. Care. If there's a way for your dipshit brother to defy death, then there has to be one for you and I'm not accepting any other answer." Dick's eyes note into me in a way that was impossible not to feel down into my core. He meant everything he said and unlike usual, I had no intention of arguing further with him. Because he was right; if there was a way for Roman, why couldn't there be one for me? God knows I wouldn't be opposed to getting rid of my brother in the process, if that's what it came down to.

But what if it wasn't Roman you had to get rid of? What if the price to live was Dick's life?

A shiver ran through my body at the thoughts my mind put forth. I would never be okay with that; would never even consider that to be an option. But if Dick thought it was...

My eyes twitched closed as I thought back to his words just before our first kiss. "I could think of worse ways to go."

I shivered again, this time with fear. No matter what I wanted or said, Dick would always be willing to sacrifice his life for mine.

He squeezed my hand in his until I opened my eyes again to look at him. "We're going to figure this out, Madds, I promise."

All I could think to say was "I love you."

Dick smiled, pulling me into his chest and holding me there as he kissed me on the head. "I love you."

We sat on the edge of the roof like that for awhile, seemingly in our own bubble, the rest of the world nonexistent. If we had our way, we probably would've stayed there forever.

But our luck was never that good.

I felt the phone buzz in Dick's pocket and we both sighed, our moment dispelled. I pulled back to give him space to check his phone but instead he turned his body around completely to stand, holding his hand out to me. "Come on."

"Aren't you going to see what that's about?" I asked, confused. I was starting to think he'd kept me up on the roof for a whole other reason to distract me.

"I already know," was all he said.

My eyes narrowed suspiciously and the stubborn part of me refused to take his hand as I rose to my own feet. "I should've known you were up to something," I grumbled.

Dick chuckled, throwing his arm around my shoulder to keep me pinned to him. "True, but I think you'll like this."

"And you aren't going to tell me what it is."

"Not at all."

"Then you are of no use to me at this moment," I replied, elbowing him in his side. We both know it felt like nothing to him but he bent away dramatically anyway and let me run off ahead of him back inside.

As I rounded the corner into the penthouse, my foot skidded on the floor, pulling me up short just in time to bump into Gar who'd just crossed my path. He stumbled forward a few steps before righting himself and then me. Behind us I could hear Dick chuckle; I flipped him off without a second thought, earning more laughter from him.

"I just got here and already you're giving me the finger? Harsh."

I swear my ears pricked at the sound of his voice, my head turning to find him so fast I was surprised not to have whiplash.

Because there stood Jason Todd, signature smirk in place and all.

"You fucking little brat," I exclaimed with a smile, maneuvering around Gar to hug Jason. He seemed surprised by the action, but didn't fight it as I pulled away. At least not until I slapped him in the back of his head and he complained. "What was so important that you couldn't answer the phone for five minutes since you've been gone?"

"I answered your texts--"

"The weekly 'Don't worry, I haven't been kidnapped' text doesn't count," I scowled.

"Given his history, its not bad as far as communication goes," Gar spoke up from behind me. He must've seen my hand twitch at my side because he added quickly, "You know what, I'm going to find Conner and let him know Jason's back. Later."

"Gar has a point," Dick agreed, amusement evident in his tone. It was moments like these that made me wish Dick was even slightly afraid of me like the others. Stubborn asshole. "Jason does get kidnapped frequently enough that that is a valid message back."

"Shut up," I said at the same time Jason replied "Fuck you." I didn't have to turn around to know that Dick wore a smug smile.

"Where the hell have you been? And stow the bullshit lies, because if I hear one I know a few plants that miss their favorite practice dummy." That made Jason's eyes dart around somewhere between comical wariness of his surroundings and thinking I was insane.

A little voice in my head wanted me to tell Dick to take notes on a proper reaction to me.

"Jeez, ya freak, I just needed to get away for a little while. I didn't realize I needed to run it by you first, mom," he said sarcastically. "If you remember correctly, the only reason I even came back was to bring you here. Once you were better and decided you were staying, you didn't need me anymore."

"Don't be such an idiot, its not about what I needed," I said with a roll of my eyes. "It's about-- well this sounds bad but its about what I wanted. Donna's... gone and aside from Dick, you're the only other person I've actually felt at ease around. You say I didn't need you, but I wanted you here. I wanted my friend."

Truthfully, I don't think I even knew that was what I wanted until I'd said it. It was weird being back in the tower without Donna, but when Jason was there it wasn't as bad. His personality just fit with mine and made it seem so much easier to fall into the Titan fold. Without him, I was pretty much just clinging to Dick like he was the last life preserver left.

None of us expected my confession, that much was obvious from the silence that followed. Jason even paled and fidgeted a little as he looked from me to Dick. But there was something else there too; a silent communication. Even before either of them spoke, that look alone told me what I'd already suspected.

The extent of the truth, however, blindsided me.

"I sent Jason away on a mission that only he could do," Dick spoke, coming around to stand where I could see him. He was stoic in his stance, hands in his pockets. Still, I could see the twinge of guilt in his dark eyes as he looked back at me. "He agreed to see J'onn to help us try and find Roman."

"John who? Someone who used to work at CADMUS?" I asked blankly for a moment and he shook his head.

"Not John," Jason said, shifting his tone for emphasis. "J'onn. As in Martian Manhunter, the strongest telepath in the world."

"Mar- are you two insane?" I choked out hysterically. "That man could've turned you into a drooling mess by accident. And what, you just let him poke around in your mind? What is wrong with you?"

"Well, I've definitely been concussed a handful of times in the last couple of years," Jason shrugged.

I narrowed my eyes warningly, but Dick spoke before I could. "Aside from you, he was the only other living person that could do it. Given the strength of your abilities--"

"I was the more dangerous option for him to be poking around in my head," I interrupted with an annoyed sigh. "Fine, I was the nuclear option, I get it. But Jason shouldn't have even been an option, period."

"He was in his head, Madds," Dick responded. "It may not have been the same as how he'd been in yours or Hurricane's, but he was in there."

"I don't care," I snapped, facing him entirely. "You shouldn't have volunteered him."

"I volunteered myself, okay," Jason spoke up, sounding as annoyed as I felt. "We talked about our options and considering the alternative, it made the most sense to be me. At least if he'd slipped, the worst to happen would be me becoming a vegetable."

"Of course that made more sense to you, you have a death wish."

"If we had to label it, I guess," Jason smirked. My eyes narrowed and my fists balled at my sides with the need to hit him. His sudden annoyed complaint of "Ow" made me think I'd reached out to the green without meaning to again. Then I noticed Dick refolding his arms across his chest while Jason glared at him.

"The point is, it was a necessary evil that we'd decided was best handled without your input," Dick said calmly to me, his leader voice kicking in. The urge to lash out was growing stronger and I was sure they could feel it in the air.

"Don't do that, Grayson," I snapped. "I am not one of your clubhouse kids, so don't you treat me like I am. The only input in this that matters is mine."

"Doesn't matter anymore because its done," Dick replied. He stared at me frustratingly calm as I glared at him for a few moments. I hated how he'd already had time to prep and know how this conversation was going to go while I stood there completely off guard.

"In that case, fuck you very much," I told him before focusing solely on Jason. "And what the fuck did you learn out of this?"

Jason shrugged. "That Roman is insane."

I waited for him to elaborate but the silence only stretched on. "And?" I pressed impatiently. When neither of the bird boys answered, a bitter laugh bubbled up my throat. "You're shitting me, right? That was your big discovery worth your life? I could've fucking told you that without risking the brain cells you clearly need to function."

"Bite me," Jason said with a roll of his eyes. "We don't mean the normal kind of insane that his serial killer ass is. J'onn couldn't find his brainwaves or whatever out there in the world, almost like he doesn't exist. He said he caught wisps of Roman but nothing really tangible that he could use to track him down. It was like he was there and gone."

"Which means he's clinically insane," Dick added. "That's the only way. J'onn wouldn't have been able to get a read on him. His mind is broken in some way that even he likely isn't aware of."

"I'm still failing to see where this is news," I retorted.

"Well that's because you're being stubborn," Dick replied.

"Well someone here has to be. Leave it to you two and you'd both be dead. Take it from someone who's been there a few times, its not fun." They both flinched at the reminder, but I didn't care. Dick was quick to call me out for being an idiot but never wanted to hear it in return. I glared at them both for good measure before continuing on. "I take it that when you say J'onn couldn't get a read, you also mean he couldn't pinpoint his location?"

"Obviously," Jason replied, annoyed. "Now if you're done being a bitch to me, I'd like a nice shower and a few hours of sleep in my own bed." He didn't give me a chance to reply before turning his back on me and disappearing down the hall.

Two minutes of complete silence passed between Dick and I before he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "Separate rooms tonight?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Unless you want to get choked out again in a very non- sexy way."

"Madds--" he started.

"Don't want to hear it, Grayson," I cut him off with both my words and a raise of my hand. "I'm ordering out for dinner," I added over my shoulder as I walked away.

I was being petty and childish; I knew that. But he and Jason did the exact thing I never wanted anyone to do for me. One of the biggest reasons why I stayed away from Dick in the first place. Dick, more than anyone, knew that. So no matter how good a reason they had for it, it felt like a betrayal.

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