October 9, 2000

Hi! I just turned, six today. As always papa looks unhappy. Never did he greet me, not even once. I wonder why up until now, I haven't still used of it. Though, Lolo Alfonso's keeps on reminding me that papa loves me, why do I feel otherwise? So strange, am I really his child? I don't know why I end up buying this thick journal all of a sudden. But one thing is for sure, I need a friend. Not the one who can talk, I have Zee already but whenever he's with me. I don't have the courage to speak out what I truly feel. So, from now on, you'll be my secret friend. So much for this, I just wanted to share you that I'm sad. I am.

- ZCJ.

November 2, 2000

Aghhhh! Lolo Alfonso's newly imposed commandment number 4: Read and Learn. He told me to read all the books inside the library. He'd done it before, and so he expects a lot from me. When he says all, all damn all. But what surprises me is when I tried him. I picked a random book and asked him the book's context. And you know what he did? He recites it profoundly. Amazing! I wanna end up like him, and that's for sure! Be a witness my friend.

-ZCJ.

December 25, 2000

Merry Christmas!

I still can't believe it, Papa gave me a gift. It's the first gift I've ever received from him. It's a garden gnome. I named her Nana. I'm sad... I might not write anymore, it feels so comfortable talking to her I can now be able to voice out my thoughts. I will miss you my friend.

-ZCJ.

February 27, 2004

I found a mundane paradise! I was like, Woahhhh! I am roaming around the library when I found an old book near the last shelves on the history section. As I took the book out and upon reading its mere context, the shelf moves, creating an enough space for penetration. And when I went in, it brought me to a new world. Believe me, it's amazing! It feels more like a home. And though I'm alone never have I felt less. This one's my new escapade. Shhhhs! I haven't told anyone yet aside from you. This will be our little secret.

P.s. It's good to see you again!

-ZCJ.

April 11, 2005

I knew it! The reason of why papa can't look at me straight in my eyes. I caused my mom's death. She died after giving birth to me, lolo Rodulfo told me. Papa put the blame on me. How I hope, ako nalang 'yung nawala. I hate him for making me think that I don't deserve to live or to be happy.

-ZCJ.

October 9, 2012

Happy legal age to me! I just turned eighteen. I don't know what to feel at the moment, Zee gave me a thousand tulips my favourite flower and he even confessed that he like me. Papa, lolo Rodulfo and Lolo Alfonso saw us. How embarrassing they might think we're in love with each other. I like Zee too, but not more than a friend. I should have distance myself from him the moment he started saying weird jokes. What to do? Aghhhhh! I'm dead.

-ZCJ.

August 1, 2014

I'll run from home. I heard them talking, they wanna engage me to Zee. And I don't like that idea, they aren't the one who will fucking get married. They've push me to my limit. I will bring Nana with me she'll get punish if I left her here. And I can't let them do that, never. I found the safest place to hide.

Haven Academy!

-ZCJ.

September 15, 2014

I met a dork today! He saw Nana's footsteps and even heard her voice. I wonder what kind of creatures he is. Tsk!

-ZCJ.

September 17, 2014

I feel so exhausted today. I needed to get back to my paradise last night. I feel an intense energy trying to break away my place. Is it Papa? How did he find out of my paradise? For sure they've found out my sudden disappearance, and they are after me now. Hmmp! I won't let them found me.

P.s. I woke up to someone's place, Nana told me I passed out. But is it a coincidence that dorks's the one who help us? Things will get weirder if it wasn’t a coincidence.

-ZCJ.

September 19, 2014

Nana's been ignoring me, she hates the way I treated dork, and I need to do something.

-ZCJ.

August 20, 2014

The hell with that dork! How dare he call me witch? I am Zannah Clarity Jade for Elf's sake! Swear there's something to that dork, hindi siya tinatablan ng powers ko. I smell something fishy! Wait, the hell I care, I should be more worried about on how Zee found me right? Tsk! Get a grip of yourself, Zannah!

P.s. I joined him in bed. But it's not because of my own will. I just needed to make Zee jealous? But I got swayed. Fine! I kinda like it! Swear he's not human!

P.s.s. He calls me Sweetheart and my heart responds. Oh my God! It'll be lethal.

-ZCJ.

September 21, 2014

I woke up feeling weird today, like something's going to happen. My feet brought me out their building. And my gut was right, he's a vampire. I cleaned out his mess before leaving. How thoughtful of him sleeping on the couch. But I'll more appreciate it if he joined me in bed I was hella in freeze at that moment. A heat up would do. Tsk! Since when did you started thinking of steamy stuffs Zannah? Huh?!

Nonetheless, I can't still believe that he's with me now. Where here at my home since we have to tame his demon this place of mine was the safest place of all, we even get to celebrate his birthday.

P.s. Virgin no more, I got my first kiss. And it's not because he's so loud that I can't get to concentrate but because I find him so cute.

-ZCJ.

September 22, 2014

I’m in love with him.

-ZCJ.

September 25, 2014

How I wish I heard him right that night.

"I am falling, Sweetheart."

-ZCJ.

September 27, 2014

It's over. I love breaking rules, and I always take back words that i've said whenever I wanted. So I am taking back it now, 'the' just one week one whole week and I won't bother him anymore. This day, I let him met Igo. Igo's Grandpa's phoenix, he gave it to papa and papa gave it to me.
And now Igo's mine.
P.s. Got my longest record breaking kiss. And it saddens me…for I have to leave him.

-ZCJ.

October 21, 2013

On September 28, I found out, they're after him. Lolo Rodulfo's command is to search for the heir of wolves and vampires. I can't let him be a sacrificial lamb. I met the person who raised him, Liteciala. I've known her, from the books i've read before. She's a witch on a regal chair. How witty of her to disguised as Haven's headmistress. She asked me to keep her identity and I did.

"Likumin ang mga talang ipinagkait mapagisa, gawa ng mga naunang sala." I tried my best to unravel the meaning behind it. But still I guess, like what Liteciala says, only Mallory can.

Molly's one of my trusted friends, she's been so good to me ever since we were young. And how careless I am failing to consider the people that might get hurt once I left the palace. I saved her from execution, after being caught stealing goods. Matapos ng pag-alis ko, ginawa siyang alila. She's my responsibility. So in exchange for defending her, I will marry Zegolas.

I am good with that, since I needed to keep my distance from Mallory, or else they'll find out. I even send Molly to look after him; I wanted to be with him. I wanted to hug, kiss and tease him. I wanted to run away with him. I wanted it all, but I did otherwise. I just wanted to keep him safe. That every night I keep on praying, for his trust. Just his trust and i'll all be good with that.

-ZCJ.

November 4, 2014

He's lost again. I search the woods, found out his victims and healed them. I was there watching him suck blood from every hunter he crosses paths with. Iyon lang ang ginawa niya, ramdam kong nilalabanan niya ng pabalik ang cravings niya.

He'll leave his preys, near death, and I was there to cover up his doings. But my ability to heal has its limits. To secure the lives of those victims I send them all to the Healers, a prestige hospital of elves, I used my influence to keep it confidential, and asked them to freed and send home all the victims once they totally healed.

Before things get worst, binali ko ang plano at nagpakita na sa kaniya. I'll do the plan B. Sasama ako sa paglalakbay niya sa Timog. Hopefully, things will fall on its proper places.

-ZCJ.

November 5, 2014

The plan's working, not until Lolo Alfonso found out. Healer sent a notice addressed to the palace where they think I am living, a notice that says, they succeed of sending the victims to their homes. But lolo's the one who received and read the letter. He confronted me, I told him my plans. And he'll just agree only if Mallory will know about it. And so I was left out of choice but to let Mallory hear our conversation. Days passed, at first I am confident that he's with me, not until I learned that I'm really is pregnant. I was just supposed to be enacting a scene like an expert actress. I didn't know it was real.

Getting pregnant sa magkaibang lahi ay hindi ganoon kadali, maselan naman sakaling nakabuo na. It took fifteen years before my parents got me, and it cost her life having me.

I didn't know that Mallory's spermatogonia is that active!

I've mentioned it already, and I know he heard it crystal clear. All he ever need is to trust, to trust me.

But they tricked me, and my world crash down the moment he left me.

-ZCJ.

November 19, 2014

Two weeks of staying at home without him, is deafening. I don't know what have I done to deserve this? All I wanted is to have a normal life. Who cares about sitting on a throne full of shits? Am I not allowed to be happy?

How fuck of a sinner I am in my past life, that even the only person whom I wanted didn't get to trust me in the end?

-ZCJ.

November 29, 2014

Enough with this dramas, life must go on. I needed to get him out of that freaking cage. At all cost. It's time to move, I still have my aces.

-ZCJ.

December 2, 2014

I did everything that I can, I found the board game, and all I need is just to find its officials. I even met Spy, and found out that he's friend with Frondo. He helped me and I do the same to him. We became allied. Through him, I found out Lolo Rodulfo's sick plan.

-ZCJ.

December 22, 2014

Three days from now, i'll give birth to our twins. I am wishing for their safety and health...as well as mine. I'm fuckin scared right now, a lot of what ifs running in my mind. I don't know what to do if something happened to them…never have I imagined that I’m acting lika a scared rat right now.

-ZCJ.

December 29, 2014

He took them. I was unconscious for several days after successfully giving birth to our twins. And how dare he take them away from me? What a sick old hag! I will make him pay, if something bad happened to our twins. I swear!

I am sorry Sweetheart, I didn't get to protect them...

-ZCJ.

February 13, 2015

Now I figured out. Papa's the king, Lolo Alfonso's the bishop and there are two officials left. How wise of him, to pick the kind of official who stay close to the king, pretending his protecting its throne and every end of the game most of the time, he's the one who always get to manage to remain standing. He's playing the role of rook. And I, I'll play the role of knight.

He does the same trick to my father. Mom's alive, she is. I can't believe nakaya niyang gamitin pati ang sarili nitong anak para lang sa walamg kuwentang bagay! All this time, I thought Papa really hates me, I even hate myself and him for making me feel such horrible things. When in fact, that old hag should be the one, I must hate.

At ngayon na hawak niya ako sa leeg, mas lalo lang akong ginanahang patalsikin siya sa kaniyang puwesto.

What a shameful hypocrite!

-ZCJ.

February 14, 2015

I got married with my best friend. Not the kind of wedding I dreamed of. Not the man I dreamed of spending my life time. But what can I do, he left me.

-ZCJ.

March 12, 2015

I sent Nana and Ruru for a special mission last month and up until now they haven't return yet. I wonder where in heaven did he kept mom and my twins. That even Agent Double O can't seem to track them. Mom's deemed dead a verified death certification was acknowledged, but my twins, they wasn't been registered yet.

They don't deserve this. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko sa tuwing sumasagi sa isipan ang kanilang sitwasyon. Ni hindi manlang sila napangalanan. Ni hindi ko man lang sila nakita ni nahawakan. I promised to myself before I won't let my kids go through the same thing that ruined me. But look at our situation, history do repeats itself.

-ZCJ.

November 5, 2015

It's been a year, still, no Mallory, no Nana and Ruru. No updates at all. Akala ko wala ng mas ikalulungkot pa ang magbirthday ng wala ni isa sa mga taong gusto mo ang nasa tabi mo. May mas masakit pa pala roon, ang maghintay ng walang kasiguraduhan, ang hindi pagtanggap sa mga bagay na posibleng mangyari, dahil kahit ano pa man, just a glimpse of hope and you'll push through again.'Yung totoo pumatay ba ako ng isang milyong katao no'ng past life ko?

December 25, 2015

Happy first birthday my twins! I am sorry if Dad and Mom weren't there to celebrate with you. But do know that, having you in our lives was more than just a blessings. I will do everything for us to be one again.

I will do everything that I can for you to live a life away from danger. You both deserve to live in paradise. And if it will take my life for that to happen, know that it's my will so don't feel sad. I love you. We love you.

Love,
Mom.

January 26, 2015

I'm sad and tired.

-ZCJ.

February 14, 2015

I don't know what to feel anymore. Zegolas surprise me today he prepares dinner for the both of us. Bought thousand tulips like before and sung me a lullaby until I fell asleep. Iyon na ang pinakamahabang tulog ko since Mallory left. Kinakain na ako ng kosensiya sa mga ginagawa niya. Hindi naman ako nagkukulang sa pagtataboy sa kaniya, but not once he left me.

Zee's a great man, a loving husband and will probably be an outstanding dad. Kaya lang, hindi ako ang para sa kanya. I'm not the kind of wife he deserves to have. How I wish for him to find his woman.

-ZCJ.

July 28, 2015

I went out today. Frondo, Molly, Zegolas and Spy, warned me na isusumbong ako kay Mallory na pinapabayaan ko raw ang sarili ko kapag hindi ako sumama sa lakad nila pati ang twins ay dinamay! Tsk! A breath of fresh air does the magic.

-ZCJ.

October 09, 2015

This surely is one of the saddest birthdays ever. I confronted Zee this morning, being a hard-headed that he is, hindi siya nakinig. Kahit anong pilit kong itulak siya palayo, lagi lang siyang bumabalik. Sabi niya, hayaan ko lang daw siya, alam daw niya ang ginagawa niya. Sa dami ng iniisip ko hindi ko akalaing sasama pa siya roon.

-ZCJ.

November 5, 2015

He made it, he's back!

I wanted to run to him and shower him kisses the moment I saw him standing in front of our home. I wanted to hug him so tight para iparamdam sa kanya ang pananabik ko. Gusto kong humagulgol ng iyak habang yakap niya at isumbong lahat lahat ng mga bagay at taong nanakit sa akin. Unfortunately, I can't do that. And I thank Zee for pulling me, even it means hurting him and myself over again...

Nahihiya ako, nahihiya akong ipaalam sa kaniya na hindi ko nagawang protektahan ang mga anak namin. Nahihiya ako sa kataksilan ng lahi namin. Ngunit mas higit akong nahihiya sa nararamdaman ko.

I don't know if it was an act of selfishness, wanting to run away with him.

-ZCJ.

November 8, 2015

Everything is well-prepared, at ngayon na nagawa niyang makabalik alam kong magtatagumpay siya. Sina, Nana at Ruru nalang ang ngayo'y hinihintay ko. Magawa sana nilang makabalik dala ang magandang balita bago maging huli ang lahat.

-ZCJ.

November 15, 2015

He's dead! Lahari's gone. He used Molly, swear I will kill him!

After all I'm the Knight...

-ZCJ.

November 17, 2015

I confronted papa today, he admitted his wrong doings. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako iniwan ni Mallory, lahat lahat ng mga maling bagay na inilihim nila ay nagawa niyang ikanta. Maliban sa isa, pinili parin niyang itago ang tungkol kay mama.

Hindi ko akalaing magagawa niyang piliing kamuhian ko siya kaysa sabihin ang tungkol kay Ina. I wonder what's been holding him back. I even had a talked with Lolo Alfonso. He told me what papa have been secretly doing, and it’s Igo. Tsk! I thought Igo's mine?

-ZCJ.

November 20, 2015

This might be the last...

I drop by to heal his wounds, Zegolas accompanied me. Lolo Rodulfo almost caught us, buti nalang dumating si Lolo Alfonso he comes up with a great excuse. Habang naghahanda ang lahat sa pagdating nila, I accidentally overheard Lolo Rodulfo talking on the telephone. He’s got me under controlled.

I refused to tell Mallory about our plans, I asked everyone to keep quiet and let Mallory act normal for a reason. Isa nalang ang hindi pa nangyayari, hanggang ngayon ay hindi parin nakababalik si Ruru at Nana, habang tumatagal ang paghahanap nila, mas napanghihinaan akong makita pa ang mga anak ko at maging ang aking ina. Umaasa ako, kahit imposible, sana'y magawa niyang pagkatiwalaan ako…sa kabila ng kawalan ng dahilan at rason na mailalahad ko.

Bata palang ako, nawiwili na ako sa paggamiti ng pana at kung paanong nakakamangha ang mga palasong nanggagaling rito. Ang palaso ay nakadepende sa nararamdaman ng taong tatamaan noon, sinag ng karunungan at liyab ng kasakiman. Si Lolo Alfonso ang nagturo nito sa akin, sapagkat ilang sa akin si papa sa tuwing magkikita kami.

Buong akala ko ay dahil sa galit ito sa akin dahil sa ako ang siyang naging bunga ng pagkawala ni mama, ngayon, kung kalian ako naliwanagan sa pakikitungo nito sa akin, doon ko nalaman, tulad ko din siya. Nahihiya, sinisisi ang sarili, dahil sa walang nagawa. Ramdam ko 'yung sakit sa tuwing magtatama ang tingin namin at iiwas ito, ganoong ganoon ang nararamdaman ko sa tuwing nagtatama ang tingin namin ni Mallory.

Ano man ang maging resulta, nagagalak parin akong nakilala siya. Maulit man ang sandali, hindi ako mangingiming muling piliing makilala siya at maging ina ng magiging anak niya.Wala iyon sa ikli o haba ng buhay na ilalagi mo sa mundo, kundi nasa mga alaalang babaunin mo. Madalas kong mapakinggan noon, na kapag namatay daw ang isang nilalang, maaalala nito lahat ng mga magagandang bagay na nangyari sa buhay niya. Sigurado akong isa siya roon.

Tulad ng nasa plano, ako ang gagamitin niya. Sa ginawa niyang ito, nagkamali siya. Hindi ang hamak na rook ang sinusunod ng knight, hindi rin maging ang hari. Isang makapangyarihang piyesa ang tanging susundin nito, 'yun nga lang wala ang piyesang iyon sa kaniyang puwesto. Kaya't walang makakapigil sa ano mang nais ng knight na gawin. Isa lang ang sigurado ko ngayon, malungkot ang knight na hindi man lang nito magagawang dampian ng halik ang kamay ng kaniyang reyna, matapos ang magaganap na laban.

The moment I chose to love him, I’ve already set my fate it’s all or nothing. Hi! I just wanted to share you that I'm happy. I really am.

-Zannah Clarity Jade.

Ilang ulit ko mang basahin, hindi noon maibabalik ang buhay niya. As I finally closed her journal may isang bagay na alam kong kailan man ay hindi maglalaho...

"Dada..." Nagawi ang atensyon ko kay Venus nang makitang nakatayo ito sa paanan ng hagdan.

"I can't sleep Dada." Ani muli nito, habang nakanguso. Pagkaraan ay bumaba din si Phanes. "Me too, Dada Dude."

Tumayo ako, at saglit na pinasadahan ng tingin ang bookshelves kung saan madalas kung makitang nakatayo noon si Zannah. And look back at her journal.

Thank you, Sweetheart.

"Time to go back to sleep…" I uttered.

I then lift them up and carried them in my arms taking the path to our room.

Life does not end, when someone came either to pass by or to stay. It won't deal about, to whom loved the most or hurt the worst. But, on how you choose to deal with your loss or gain. Neither of it will make you less nor is more of a person and that is for sure.

Despite all the sufferings and difficulties that life has given us, it's the love and lessons that was shared and earned that matters.

I am Haunt Daven Mallory, her forever lover.

~~~

This is the Final Chapter!

Thank you everyone, for being with them along their journey...and mine as well. For those people who showed their love in this story, sending you my deepest gratitude. Know that, I'm forever indebted to you all.

And to Ms. VentreCanard, thank you so much! This story becomes possible, all because of your Taste of Sky. May you continue to Inspire others through your works. Luvyu!💛

Wishing you all safety and good health.

P.s. Checkout Ms. Musheco 's Sunset and Heartbreaks.💛🖤

-El_Alcaide