"A journey of forgiveness is always a right choice."  Auliq-Ice

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Chapter Twenty

Ruth did not stay. There were too many hard feelings between her and her family for them all to be resolved in a day. For her daughter at least, things seemed better. She parted with Olivia on terms that were not as hostile as they had been four years ago. They seemed to have a new understanding for each other.

"Write to me, Olivia, so I have your address wherever you settle," Ruth murmured. She liked to keep her tone cool but Olivia sensed the genuine maternal concern in her mother's voice. "You know where Papa and I live, and you are welcome to visit." That almost sounded kind. Ruth quickly added, "Just write to us before. It is polite, you know."

Olivia hugged her mother tightly. She remembered practically scolding Kit when he was harsh towards her mother. Ruth was not a warm or particularly kind woman, but she was the only mother Olivia had, and she loved her anyway. All these years she had thought Ruth didn't care about her. This visit had proven otherwise, and Olivia felt such relief.

Ruth carefully patted Olivia's back in return. "Come now. I have a journey ahead of me."

"Are you sure you will not stay, Mama? Not even for dinner?"

Ruth shook her head. "No. Much needs to be said before I sit down to dinner with my father and siblings," she said coldly.

Olivia held her tongue, but she wished her mother would not hold such a grudge towards her kind aunt. Lorna was nearly two decades younger than Ruth after all, she had been too young to carry much of the blame for what happened.

Ruth left, and shortly after, Olivia departed as well, letting her aunt know that she would return before sundown. Lorna had protested but it was something that Olivia needed to do.

She asked the carriage to take her to Norwood Cottage, the estate belonging to Kit's family. She knew it would be quite an imposition to visit on Christmas, and they might be sensitive to her presence anyway, but she could not stay away. Having now reconciled, in a way, with her mother, Olivia wanted to speak with Kit's father.

The carriage pulled into the gates of Norwood Cottage around lunchtime. Cottage really was a silly name for such a grand, manor house. What it must have been for Kit growing up here. It looked even more magical with the soft snow that had settled on the green overnight.

The carriage stopped in front of the entry steps and the driver helped Olivia from the carriage. The front door had not yet opened, so Olivia journeyed up the steps and knocked on the large, oak door. She could hear the noise echoing inside.

Olivia suddenly felt a flurry of nerves settle in her stomach. She had come with good intentions but she knew that Kit's family did not like her. His father, at least, held a great prejudice against her because of her parents. Olivia hoped that her aunt still had affection for her.

Olivia had been standing at the front door for nearly two minutes before it was opened. She immediately was standing before Cassian.

Olivia found him to be intimidating. He was tall, not as tall as Kit was, but much taller than her, and his eyes were charcoal black and hard, especially when they settled upon a Pendleton. His mouth was rigid and his jaw was tense and his brows immediately furrowed.

Olivia never minded what people thought of her. But she minded that Cassian did not like her. She minded a lot, and she wanted to change his mind.

Upon looking at him more closely, as Cassian continued to look down at her, she could see more emotion in his face. His black eyes were hard, but they were sad, and she could see the shadows under his eyes. They were very pronounced, indicating that he had not had a very good night's sleep in a long while.

Olivia cleared her throat nervously. "Good afternoon, Mr Kensington," she greeted timidly.

"Good afternoon, Miss Olivia," he replied coolly. Olivia could not help but notice Cassian subtly looking over her head towards the carriage that she had arrived in. He had to be looking for Kit. When he realised that she had come alone she could only see the sadness in him increase. "What are you doing here?" A sudden wave of panic came across Cassian's face. "Is my son alright?" he demanded to know.

"Yes!" cried Olivia reassuringly. "We parted nearly a week ago for Christmas. He is spending the holiday with Prince Edward in London," she explained. "I returned to spend Christmas with my grandfather and aunt."

"Oh," was all he said in reply. Olivia's heart bled for him. He was so disappointed. Cassian opened the door wider for her to enter. "You may take the horses around to the stable," he called out to the driver. "You will find water and hay there."

Olivia crossed the threshold and entered into the foyer. She could hear Kit's family nearby. They sounded merry, or at least the children did.

Faith took a deep breath and faced Cassian. "I wanted to speak with you and Aunt An – Faith, if I could, please," she asked, her voice quivering.

Cassian nodded. "I am sure your aunt would like to see you," he replied quietly. "Follow me." Cassian led Olivia down a hallway towards, what Olivia presumed was, a dining room. When he opened the door, she was greeted by a sitting room.

Inside, Faith and Kit's two younger sisters were sitting on the floor, on what looked like a bed sheet, with all sorts of dishes around them. It looked like a gourmet, indoor picnic.

All three pairs of eyes were immediately on Olivia. Faith's eyes immediately widened in amazement. "Olivia!" she cried. "Cassian," Faith lifted up her arms, "come and help me to stand."

Olivia frowned, but only for a moment. Cassian helped his wife up to her feet, and Olivia could immediately see the reason why. She was very pregnant. Olivia wondered how long she had to go before she had her baby.

Faith waddled around the furniture to where Olivia was standing by the door. Olivia had always thought her aunt very pretty, beautiful even, but she, like Cassian, looked tired, and there was sadness in her brown eyes, too.

Kit did not know how much his family were missing him.

Faith pulled Olivia into her arms for a hug. The minute her aunt's round belly touched Olivia's she jumped backwards as though she had been kicked. Faith rubbed her stomach and uttered, "Don't be rude," to her child. "How are you, dear?"

Olivia could hear the second question in her aunt's voice. She was asking after Kit as well. "I am well," she replied, "and so is he."

Faith smiled, and immediately turned away. Olivia caught a glimpse of her eyes as they became glassy. Faith cleared her throat. "Olivia, I do not believe you have been properly introduced to our daughters," she announced, changing the subject. "Girls, stand up," she encouraged.

Olivia remembered Lucy. She had met once before when she and Kit had once met. She recalled the smaller daughter from when she and Kit had left Norwood nearly four months ago but she did not know her name.

"This is Lucy," said Faith, placing her hand on Lucy shoulders. Lucy was a very pretty girl who looked very much like her mother. Brown eyes, shiny brown hair, and the same calm disposition.

Olivia felt that she knew too much about Lucy, really. She had heard it all from her parents growing up. She was really the child of Olivia's late Uncle George, but Faith was choosing to raise her illegitimate to keep the Pendletons from having anything to do with Lucy. For Faith to bring such disadvantage upon her own child her uncle must have been an even more vicious creature than she could remember.

"I'll be eleven in six weeks," Lucy informed her. "On St. Valentine's Day."

Olivia smiled. Was she hinting for a gift? "A very good day for a birthday."

"And this is Emma," Faith introduced their younger daughter. Emma was very obviously the child of Cassian. Same black eyes. Same curly, black hair. Olivia was convinced in Emma was five feet taller and looking down at Olivia, her stare would be just as intimidating as her father's. "Girls, this is my niece, Olivia."

"What is she to us?" asked Lucy.

Olivia was certain Cassian would have conniptions if his own children were cousins to a Pendleton, so she replied with, "A friend."

A bark suddenly alerted Olivia to a dog that was lounging on one of the settees in the sitting room. It was a King Charles spaniel, and a very pretty dog, indeed.

"And that's Cat," added Faith. "The result of a toddler being in charge of the name." She laughed to herself. Olivia could not help but smirk.

"Olivia would like to talk to us," murmured Cassian to Faith.

Faith nodded knowingly. "Girls, keep eating, and do not feed your dinners to Cat," she warned. "Let us go out in the hall."

Once the door was closed and they were alone in the hallway, Olivia began. "I know that Kit's actions have hurt you both terribly," she said apologetically. "I have only recently, today actually, come to understand pain from a parent's perspective." How could Olivia form the words without Cassian hating her more than he already did? "It was my doing," she admitted. She was wrong. He could hate her more. "When I was in gaol," Faith's eyes widened, "and I was watching his behaviour around you I called him on it. I asked why he was so blindly following you, walking on eggshells around you. I did not have much in the way of respect for one's elders at the time so it was nothing to me to go against one's parents. But it started Kit thinking and that is why he made the decision he did.

"I don't know if you know this, but Kit and I met once before when we were children. I was eleven at the time, and you both were visiting my parents for some reason or another. But I asked Kit to help me steal some books from my father to fill the little library I was creating for the village school. Kit told me how you taught him to read, and how he was an example of what good could come out of giving the poor a chance."

"I didn't know that," replied Cassian quietly. "Kit never mentioned that he met you."

"Probably because you declared all Pendletons messengers from the devil or something like that," quipped Faith. Cassian threw Faith an exasperated look.

"Mr Kensington, I don't know what happened in the past. Aunt, I can only imagine, and I don't like to," Olivia said sincerely, "but please do not judge me for the sins of my parents. I love my parents, but I do not like or agree with everything that they do or have done. I cannot choose who my parents are. But Kit did. He is so lucky, and he knows that he is."

"Olivia, I know my behaviour must seem unfair, and it is, I know it, but you cannot understand. You were a child. Watching my wife endure ..." Cassian trailed off as though it was too painful for him to continue.

"What Cassian means is that we do not know the same people that you do, Olivia," explained Faith. "And Cassian fears that having you in our lives means having your parents involved as well."

The little hope that Olivia had built up for winning Cassian Kensington over was suddenly dashed. She would always be one of them in his eyes.

"I did not come here for selfish reasons," said Olivia, brushing away the hurt. "I just wanted to tell you that your son has been making you proud these last months. Kit is kind and decent and unlike any other gentleman I have ever encountered. He is fighting for people, for causes that he believes in. Education, for instance, which is something that you placed in his heart as a boy, Mr Kensington. Not only that, but he is ever so clever. So smart, he holds his own against truly vile men who would only see him fail. He negotiates and ensures the result is fair. I trust he gets his business sense from you, sir." Perhaps Olivia was still trying to win him over a little. Olivia turned her attention to Faith. Softly, she said, "He defended you, Aunt, when people would soil your name, just like you know he would. When a man dishonoured you he fought for your good name and your excellent character, he defended his beloved mother."

Faith did not hide the tears in her eyes this time. She removed a handkerchief from the sleeve of her dress and immediately dried her eyes. Cassian put a comforting arm around her.

"And what of your name?" asked Cassian. "What does he say to that?"

"What do you mean?" asked Olivia.

"The newspapers reach us here, as well," replied Cassian. "Just because he is away from home does not mean I am not aware of his whereabouts and behaviour."

Olivia realised he was referencing how the newspapers were representing her. "Well, that same man managed to dishonour me in the same sentence and Kit was just as gallant in my defence as he was my aunt's."

Olivia could see that Cassian was fearful that there was truth in the words the reporters wrote. He was worried that his son was behaving dishonourably. He should know better.

"Kit has only ever behaved like a perfect gentleman towards me, something that I am wholly unused to. I am used to being laughed at when I try to speak, to being jeered and insulted and dismissed. Kit is the first man to actually listen to what I have to say. You ought to be proud of him, Mr Kensington."

"I always was," he murmured.

There was still so much hurt in this house. Olivia knew she could not fix it on her own. She had not come to fix it, only to help. "I know that he wants to see you both, see you all," she promised, "only he knows not what to say. I am sure when he has the words he will explain everything. You are too precious to him not to resolve things."

"You are a good friend to him, Olivia," said Faith, "and a good person so speak to us like this when I know it must be difficult to face disapproval."

"I try to be. I try to do all things good but my abilities can only extend so far. If you only knew the achievement that Kit was about to make. He is about to be elected to parliament! He will have a say, a voice within the most powerful house in the country, to make things better for people like Kit when he was a child." Olivia looked up at Cassian pleadingly. "The election is to be held on the tenth of January. I know all is not well and everything is not alright yet, but I know it would mean the world to Kit if you were there, sir."

Cassian did not give her an answer. He merely looked down at her silently for a moment. "Thank you for bringing us this information, Olivia," he said after a minute. "You really ought to get back to your family. With the election so soon, you will not have much longer with them."

Olivia smiled hopefully. "You will come?"

"Good afternoon, Olivia," Cassian said dismissively as he led Faith back towards the sitting room. "We will ring the bell for your carriage."

Even though the sitting room door was now closed, Olivia could still hear their muffled voices from inside.

"I suppose I will have to get used to having a Pendleton in the house," said Cassian.

"Perhaps you will not mind so much when her name is Kensington," replied Faith playfully.

Olivia froze. That was what they had taken from her plea? All she had done was ... explain in great detail how wonderful Kit was to his parents. The two people on earth who knew exactly how wonderful he was.

What was she going to do? How was she going to feel when she faced Kit again? Would the jealousy simply go away, as Lorna had said, and she could be happy with Kit? Or would this only make them both miserable? 

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Hope you enjoyed it!! 

I literally feel myself pouring into Olivia in these moments. Her thoughts are my thoughts when people my age have gotten married, or simply gotten married before they've finished doing everything they wanted to do by themselves. 

I have so many opinions, just like Olivia. I just hope someday someone will want to listen to me *sighs wistfully*

In other news I got a new job that I really wanted! Big stepping stone for me, and most importantly I'm out of retail. I'm actually wearing candy can pyjamas right now because I'm looking forward to Christmas for the first time in four years. Those of you who have worked Christmas will know what I'm talking about! I might actually listen to "All I want for Christmas is you" this year without wanting to hit something hahahaha. 

Okay, better be off. I'm watching Lorna Doone at the moment and I'm being distracted from all that is young Richard Coyle. Byeeeeeeeeee. 

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