The wind howled that night, like a monster outside. Yet that was impossible because to Natasha the only monster was inside.

She stared at the white wall in front of her bed. Everything was still, and nothing moved in her room. The only sound besides the wind was Natasha's breath.

She wasn't going to go to bed. She couldn't because the moment she would then she the memories would take over in a deeper scarier way. Besides sleep never mattered anymore. Her memories haunted her even in the light.

"My Natalia, my sweet Natalia you know the time is coming" alexi smiled walked close and caressing her face. "The day we take out Ivan. End his rain and start something of worse. Something that will make people fear us. Fear you."

"Why would I want that?" Natalia asked. She was 17 at the time alexi was in his 20s.

"Because once they fear us they will obey us." He smirked. "We can get rid of Barnes, and Ivan."

"And Yelena?" Natasha asked. Yelena was basically Natasha. But less powerful. She never sparked Alexi interest after he meet Natasha.

"We don't need her. It will just be me and you." He said. "Now come on we have some people to take care off."

That memory wasn't as bad as others but it still sent shivers down her spine. She was shaking.

The knock on the door startled Natasha. She was wearing one of Steve shirts, and Clint's hoodie. Part of her collection of cloths she has stole from the guys. The other cloths included Tony's hoodie, Thor's shirt and much more.

She didn't speak but someone came inside. She was facing the opposite direction so she couldn't see who it was. But the bed by her feet sank indicating someone sat down.

Someone touched her leg, it wasn't the same warm feeling of Steve's touch but it was a familiar. One she used to depend on in her earlier years for comfort and warmth.

"Natalia."

"Please don't call me that." Natasha said pushing her face closer to the pillow.

"Sorry. Natasha we need your help. We need someone who was with Alexi and Yelena. Who knows what they were doing back then." The voice said, he spoke in a soft hushed voice.

"You were there. Why don't you go help."

"Natasha I don't remember anything from that time. It was all erased."

"Lucky." She muttered. "James I appreciate what you are trying to do, but nothing can make this situation better. Not even making me feel good that I know how to stop them. Because guess what i don't."

"Natasha you may-"

"Just stop. I can't anymore James. She turned to face him. "After this mission is over, if I survive this mission. That's it. I am done."

"Done? Done with what?" James asked looking into her eyes. He noticed the glimmer of water in her eyes that the light reflected off of. Which indicated she had been crying. James focused back on her words. She spoke in a barely auto-able voice.

"I'm done with the avengers."

•
•
•
•

Dun dun dunnnnn
Do you think she will actually leave?

Oh and Proof she has a collection.