Bing.

I arrived at the third floor. Again, I checked the number, which was printed in red on the key.
"Room six"
Looking down to my suitcase, I took it and walked out of the elevator, while checking up the room numbers.

"I can't tell you the reason. I just want you to be safe, safe for now"

Throwback:

"Please stop!" I quickly said and stepped out of the car. At that second, my body was controlled by someone else. I don't know what exactly it was, but my mind wasn't really thinking about something or anything at all. It was as if my heart had started to move my body on it's own, without letting my head think about it at first.

"Just give me a couple of minutes" I told the urban driver and closed the car door immediately after. Dwayne was still standing there, his body fully turned into my direction.

Slowly taking a few steps forward, my heartbeat began to rise. The light morning breeze blew my hair slightly away and the sunrise started to shine through the clouds.
The more I started to come closer to him, the more my steps were becoming quicker steps. My blood pressure was going crazy while I was walking pretty fast towards him. Yet again, my brain wasn't doing anything at all. My fast steps turned into much faster ones until I was running towards him.

I ran and I didn't even knew why.

'I'm not going to help you out with that.' His words from yesterday popped up again. I stopped a few meters away from him and gave my best to look as confident as possible. Again, I didn't knew why exactly I had the urge to do that and for what exactly I was doing it.

The inside of me was falling apart while I was showing the complete opposite of that. I had to think of a way out of this, but my body wanted the opposite. I had nothing to talk with him, but my heart still wanted to hear some more. He was now standing right in front of me, typically showing me his famous expressionless expression. He didn't moved, so did I. Stepping two more steps forward, I stopped and began to understand what he was thinking of right now.

While watching him standing there, I noticed something pretty odd. I'm not saying that a posture right after some sports could mean anything towards emotion, but today he stood stiffer than usual.

'He's not a man who typically stands stiffer than usual, especially not after some sports.' You're right. Even the day where the Tsunami hit Palawan, we ran up that freaking hill and he just stood there as if he just walked home.

Silence.

A long, long silence. None of us moved, nor did the both of us made any signs of making the first move. The feelings, I was feeling right now was a complete disaster. I didn't knew how to feel or how to act at all. I wasn't angry at him, nor am I pleased with the decision that he made. He isn't forced to help me at all, he's a free man who can do what he wants. But,

there are the 'but's'

Something deep deep inside of me was telling me, that he actually wants to help me, but can't. Especially now, him standing there, his icy stare not as icy as usual. His gaze just looking into my direction.

His eyes clearly showed weakness. But why? And why haven't I noticed that earlier?
Yesterday, the only thing I did, was accepting his decision and running away, far away from him to hide my feelings about it. At that moment, I didn't really concentrated myself on his feelings. It was just me, who needed space to sort a few feelings out. Nevertheless, now, where I had made my decision of leaving, I can see it clearly.

He doesn't want's to help me. Not because he doesn't want's to, no... he just can't. There is something, something that's holding him back by doing so. Something I shouldn't know and something that I shouldn't even be handling with at all.

"What are you hiding behind me?" I finally asked and broke the silence between us.

Silence.

Dwayne looked to the taxi behind me before he took a few steps back and turned his back to me. 'He wants to run away from my question, he really wants to run away from it!'

Quickly, I ran right in front of him, to stop him by running away from me. At that second, I didn't even thought about the fact, that he would run right into me, if I would do that. And let me tell you one thing:

He actually ran right into me.
Everything went by pretty fast and I actually thought, the ground would hit my but pretty badly at any second. But that never happened. The only thing I felt was two strong arms immediately catching me and holding me firmly against something pretty hard. I quickly gave my best to stand stable again, while being catched in his strong grip around me.

To be honest, a wall is way smoother and more comfortable than this piece of rock that was holding me firmly against his chest!
Slowly opening my eyes, I firstly tried to loosen his grip around me to get back some personal space around us.
Do you think he let me doing it?

NO!
He wasn't even giving me some chance to even get some clear air from his-, I mean his-, you know his body-, gosh leave me all alone!
"Let. Me. Go!" Again I tried to loosen up his grip around me. Nothing changed. Actually something changed: his grip around me just got firmer and more stable around me. Immediately looking up, my eyes landed on his icy blue cold eyes.

Silence. And none of us moved.

Right at that moment, I stopped fighting against him and let myself feel lost in his eyes. My arms lost all the energy and my legs started to become strengthless. Sadness engulfed me and I gave my best to hide the little tears that startet to built up in the corner of my eyes. His eyes were showing me pain and care. Two things especially I have to go through right now too.

He cared and he was in pain too. He was clearly showing me that he was in pain too! Why? What is it that you're hiding behind me? Is it really that hard to tell me the truth?

Suddenly, his grip around me loosened and he took a small step back. Between us was not much of a gap and it didn't seemed like he wanted to take some more steps back. Instead of doing so, he once again searched for my attention and finally speaked up:

"I can't tell you the reason. I just want you to be safe, safe for now"

Throwback ends.

"There it is!" I quickly unlocked the door and entered the small apartment with high hopes, that it would end well and not in a complete disaster.

Walking inside, the view didn't surprised me at all: an old dusty apartment for only one person. One more would mean the death for my personal space, since this little room was only meant for one person only.

A small bed, right next to it a little table with one chair. The kitchen which was standing at the opposite from the bed had only 2 storage places, one little refrigerator and an electronic stove for only one pan. The bathroom was right next to the entrance. Walking inside, my mood changed drastically again:

"Why couldn't they clean up at least this toilet?!" The bad smell went outside the bathroom, right into the living space. Sighing, I leaved the bathroom and immediately opened up the window to get some fresh air.

"No wonder this place is cheaper than other apartments!"

The rest of the day, I spend my time cleaning up the apartment and throwing everything away that didn't belonged in that apartment anymore. I don't even want to go into any details and just want to make clear, that I give up all my respects to every cleaning woman out there. Now I know why y'all are pissed at humans. I would be too if I had to clean up this mess every day!

The day passed by pretty fast and the apartment started to look more liveable. The refrigerator was filled with some foods and the storage places were filled with some packs and cans.

"The only thing that's left to do is freshen up and getting some rest before I search for some work tomorrow" It didn't took me long to freshen up and I immediately went to the freshly made bed afterwards. It was pretty silent and It took me longer than usual to get some sleep. Turning to my left and right didn't helped me either, so I decided to just look up to the ceiling.

"I can't tell you the reason. I just want you to be safe, safe for now"

Will I be in danger?

If so, has it something in common with my real family?

________________________________________________________________

Hey Lovelies,

Since a month, I'm frequently writing exams lately...
If you're writing exams too: I'm wishing you the best luck and energy to get through it perfectly!

As always, I'm wishing you a great week and hope that this week went by happily!

Have a lovely day

Hati.