-Laura's POV-

I wasn't sure why I was freaking out about what outfit I should wear for the Christmas Eve lunch I was having with Will and his mother. She didn't like me regardless of what I wore. I guess I was secretly wanting to look good for Will. We were going to tell his mother today about our engagement and I knew she wasn't going to be happy about it.

Will didn't see the discomfort and snarky comments she made towards me. He honestly believed we were cool with each other. The woman could probably cover up a murder scene and get away with it.

The burgundy lace dress I was wearing was a respectable length so she couldn't think I was a slut. Last time I had shorts on she pretty much accused me of being a cheap prostitute but only once Will was out of hearing range.

"Oh my baby is home." Mrs. Stevens threw her arms over her son and hung on like a woman hanging off of a cliff.

"It's good to see you Mom." Will lifted her off the floor a bit so I had room to shut the door behind us.

An hour later she finally let him go to breathe. She glanced over in my general direction and gave me an incredibly fake smile.

"Hello Lauren." She was trying to piss me off on purpose.

"Laura." Will corrected her for me.

She was expecting me to be a floosy and dismissing me because she didn't think Will and I would last. I couldn't wait to see her face once Will breaks it to her that he proposed. It was going to be priceless. I was even debating on catching it on camera.

"Of course. Thank you for coming. The table is set and your father is in the living room."

Mr. Stevens was much more down to earth and laid back. I could picture him working long nights just so he could avoid his wife. Oh man, that was mean.

"Laura, it's good to see you again."

At least he was pleased to see me. We hugged and I handed him the bag of presents Will and I brought. He took care of his father and I chose something for his mother, as painful as it was.

I stayed quiet throughout lunch so that Will could have more bonding time with his parents. Every once in a while Will would squeeze my hand to remind me he still knew I existed. His mother was quite the chatter box.

The food was good but I was betting it was only because she had ordered it from a restaurant.

"Laura, how are you? How's work?"

I smiled at Mr. Stevens. He looked so damn good for being forty something. Staring into his eyes made me believe this was what Will was going to look like at that age. Will was practically the spitting image of his father. The difference would be the few white streaks of hair Mr. Stevens had probably because of his wife. He was beautiful.

Yup, Will would look similar to that in his forties and there would be no complaining from me.

"It's great. I love what I do and the people I work with are wonderful. I can't complain."

Will kissed my hand and his mother took another long gulp of her wine.

"Still a nurse?" She asked.

I nodded knowing I was in for it.

"Oh." She wanted better for her son like any mother but seriously.

"Nurses are extremely important in the hospital. Doctors would be lost without them. Laura works hard and does amazing."

That was why I knew our marriage would be so great. Will had my back, always.

"I'm sure."

I was biting my lip so hard that I was starting to taste blood. If we didn't leave soon I was going to bust like a can of biscuits.

"I have some wonderful news to share." Will dodged looks from both his parents and gave me the cue.

It was time. I slipped the ring on inside my pocket and grinned sheepishly. This was going to give Mrs. Stevens a heart attack. It was a good thing her son was a heart surgeon.

"I asked Laura to marry me and she said yes."

Mr. Stevens was as happy as Will was when I said yes. His wife on the other hand couldn't quite mask her disappointment.

"So soon?"

Will frowned and scooted closer to me. "What do you mean?"

Mrs. Stevens ran her finger around the rim of her wine glass tempted to drink her sorrows away. "Well it has only been a few months. You hardly know each other."

"I know everything I need to know. We tell each other everything. I trust her mother and I love her."

Will wasn't the kind of person to give up. He was going to fight for me and defend my honor, like a real gentleman.

"She tells you what she wants you to know."

The funny thing was Mrs. Stevens knew nothing about me. She never took the time to ask me anything about my personal life so where was this hostile coming from.

"No, mother. She tells me things I would rather not hear either but I accept them."

I know Will was only trying to prove a point. We were open about everything. I told him about Chris because I did love him. I knew it was going to hurt him but he deserved the truth.

But admitting this to his mother only added more fire to her claim.

"So you have to accept her mistakes. You shouldn't have to."

"And she accepts mine." Will stared at his mother like she was a stranger. "Since when do you have a problem with Laura?"

"You deserve someone faithful, someone on your level." She was desperately pleading with him like his life depended on it.

"Flora? This is about Flora?" His toned dropped into anger.

Flora was his ex. She was a doctor as well and apparently his mother's choice for his wife.

His mother went on about how amazing they were together. I didn't know the whole story. Will didn't like talking about her or their past. He just told me he would never ever be with her again. That was good enough for me.

"Baby I'd love to stay but I got to go. It's getting late." I hated rushing out but I had other plans tonight.

As a fiancé it would have been wise for me to stay and defend myself but I did have more important things to do. Will was supposed to accompany me but I wasn't so sure that was going to happen anymore.

He checked his phone and sighed. "You're right. We should go."

From the corner of my eye I could see smoke fumes coming from his mother's ears. She was pissed I interrupted her little rant and that Will wasn't paying her any attention.

"You should probably finish this conversation." He tried to disagree but I kissed him. "I'll see you Christmas morning."

"Take the car. I'm sure my dad won't mind driving me home."

He handed me the keys and I got up. "I hope you enjoy your gifts."

I was half trying to be smart and the other half I meant. I spent a whole paycheck on the Coach purse we got her. Will fought me on it because he wanted to pay for the whole thing. He knew my salary was nothing compared to his.

"Running off so soon...perhaps making more mistakes that my son will have to forgive later."

I get where she was coming from but she didn't raise a saint. Will was the closest thing to perfect I had ever met. He was unbelievably patient, too kind, and truly unselfish. I waited months to find some break in his perfect exterior but I couldn't see any.

"No. Actually Will and I were supposed to visit an orphanage in town. You see every year I like to bring them presents on Christmas Eve so that they don't feel as alone as they probably already feel."

The dragon lady swallowed the rest of the insults she was going to throw at me.

It was Will's decision to stay. He wanted to put to rest the discussion of his ex-girlfriend once and for all. I had no idea his mother was so close to her or that she liked her that much. His mother probably loved the fact that Flora was also a doctor. I could never measure up in her eyes.

I felt a sweet relief walking into the orphanage. It was simple and clean. It reminded me so much of the hospital which wasn't the best atmosphere for children. It was cold and a bit barren. I could imagine how it felt nothing like a home for these children.

Visiting the orphanage was like a tradition for me. My parents took me once as a kid so that I could see how better off I was. I was a bratty kid but after that one visit I was hooked. I'd save my money and sacrificed some toys just so I could see their faces light up.

I made it to the end of the hall with my two bags dragging on the ground. I hadn't realized I had accumulated so much over the year.

"Need some help?"

That voice stopped me in my tracks. I dropped the bags entirely and turned to see if my suspicion was correct.

"What are you doing here?"

Chris was leaned against the wall. His long black winter coat made him look like the handsomest thief alive, as though he had a motive for being here; possibly to steal my heart.

He moved in front of me. "I was hoping you'd come."

I shook my head; perhaps this was a stupid dream. Nope. "How did you know?" How could he possibly know I'd be at the orphanage?

"One year you showed up late at one of the Christmas parties. Ben kept calling you but you never answered. You showed up an hour late and told him you were at an orphanage. You said you go every year."

"You paid attention?" How shocking?

Chris exhaled and reduced the wrinkles on his forehead but nothing could erase the dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping.

"I'm sorry." He licked his lips out of nervous habit. "I'm sorry Laura...for everything. I know you're happy now but I needed you to know..."

He was shaking. Was it nerves?

"Actually I could use some help."

I know it frustrated him that I changed the subject but maybe he needed more time to put the words together.

Chris slung one of the bigger bags over his shoulder and followed me inside the gigantic hall. This was the room they decorated for Christmas and displayed the colorful, festive tree.

"Laura! Laura's here!"

The older kids even knew me by name. They were the ones who had the hardest time finding a home.

"Sidney," I hugged her. "How are you taller than me? When did this happen?"

It surprised me because she was only eleven. The orphanage was housing 27 children at the moment. I called in ahead to make sure I had enough gifts for everyone. I would have hated myself if I left anyone out.

"Who's he?" Little Albert pointed at Chris.

"He's my little helper." Chris shook his head laughing.

"Like an elf?"

I nodded trying desperately not to laugh. "Yup."

"I thought elves were small."

Chris got on his knees to mimic Albert's height. He flashed his Colgate smile and I waited for his smart ass remark.

"I'm a special kind of elf."

It didn't take long for the children to warm up to Chris. In fact I think they were starting to love him more than me. Not even my world famous cookies would distract them from his beautiful allure. He was so great with them. Chris comforted them, told them stories of his own life, and truly made them feel important. The man had a way with words.

I wondered how he could possibly freeze up with me though.

Watching them open presents never got old. There priceless joy was worth every penny. It hardly felt like a sacrifice.

Chris volunteered to read them a story about the birth of Jesus. They crowded around him; some leaned on him, and little Albert sat on his lap.

I was holding a sweet little girl while sitting directly in front of him. We were all mesmerized by the miraculous story. I think I was more fascinated with his ease of children. He was far more nurturing than I would have ever expected.

Just before midnight we were kicked out of the orphanage. They technically weren't allowed to stay up that late because Santa might not stop by.

"Thanks for coming. I know it meant a lot to them." I said as he walked me to my car.

"Now I feel terrible for not coming sooner."

"I had that same feeling, like I wasted so much time." I felt selfish not thinking of others especially round this time of year.

"You're a good person Laura."

We stopped beside my car. His beautiful eyes loomed over me and I started to fidget with my keys out of sudden anxiety. I hated and loved when he looked at me like that.

"Stop staring at me."

I shouldn't have said anything. It seemed to spark his interest even more. "Why?"

"Because you can't look at me like that anymore."

He took his hands out of his pockets and stepped closer. I thought he'd try and touch me but he didn't. Chris' green eyes showered over me like a damn spell of unproportioned charm and desire.

"How am I looking at you?"

He was going to make this difficult for me.

"Like a lost puppy."

"Actually I think I found what I was looking for." Chris grasped my forearm so I couldn't ignore what he was about to say. "It was always you."

"Chris I..."I spit the words out. "I'm engaged."

The shift in his eyes was instant and morbid. He ground his teeth and I waited for him to recover.

"I wish I could be happy for you because I know you're happy with him. But I can't."

I closed my eyes so I didn't have to see the pain across his face. Why did I care? I hardly knew him. He didn't give me a chance to know him.

"Did you ever picture it, you and I? What our lives could have been like?"

Of course I did. I was a girl. I could fantasize our whole lives together in a matter of seconds.

"Yes."

"If you marry him I will always be in the back of your mind." Was he seriously trying to sabotage my engagement? "I fucked up and it will haunt me for forever because I love you. I don't need to know every aspect of your life to know how I feel about you. I love you and I know there's a part of you that cares for me too."

I swallowed the gulf sized lump in my throat. "I do care about you but it's not enough."

Chris was a fighter; I'd give him that.

"I get why he's so appealing. A doctor husband does sound nice and safe. How long is your perfect world going to last? You're going to constantly strive to fit into his life. You're never going to feel good enough."

Who the hell was he to psychoanalyze my life when he was so messed up? "Go to hell."

"You're going to get sick of that perfect world and tired of holding together the broken pieces for the rest of the world to think everything is okay. You're scared I'll hurt you again."

I heard plenty from Demi and the girls. "Am I?"

"You're terrified we'll tear each other apart. You think we're bad for each other. You're wrong Laura. We need each other. I need you to tell me when I'm being an asshole. And you need me to tell you how strong, brave, and beautiful you are."

I wanted to cover my ears. Everything he was saying he could give me I could get from Will.

"I already have someone telling me those things."

"How can you not feel the way I do?" Chris grew angry with frustration.

He cupped my face gently although his hands were rough.

"Lately you've taken over my mind. I can hardly breathe sometimes until I finally see you. You are the balance. You make everything calm."

His sweet poetic confession was sneaking its way into my heart. I could hear the uneven pounding going off in my ears.

He was right. Chris would, or might, be constantly in the back of my thoughts. I would always wonder what it would have been like. He was drowning me in a pool of his emotions. His soft touch was a hook to the future, a foreshadow of our future.

"Any man can make you happy but ask yourself which man can keep you alive. Which man can give you purpose? I know God put you in my heart for a reason. I can't let you go."

God? God put him in my life and me in his heart?

I felt stupid for not consoling in God before now. I used to base everything around God but lately I guess I was wrapped up in my own selfish pursuits.

Sad part was I didn't even run to God after Chris destroyed me. I started to lean on Will. Then I drowned myself in work and him that I had nothing else to think about.

What did God want me to do? Why did he give me the choice of two men? Maybe it wasn't a choice. Maybe he had the right one for me I just needed to pick him. But which one was I supposed to be with?

What if I was supposed to give Chris a chance? I couldn't deny that I cared for him more than I should have.

"Why do you love me? You barely know anything about me."

He swept back my hair. "Love is felt. It's this strong, passionate sensation and I only have it for you. Love can't be dictated. It has no territory or borders. You can choose to surrender to it. Love comes, or not, by grace, of its own will and in its own timing, subject to no human's planning."

It was like he was reciting a stinking poem.

He was saying the right things and for the slightest second I let myself fall into that deep hole. It was a deep dark hole that closed off everything that didn't pertain to us. I was absorbed in this feeling of ecstasy and bliss.

Chris had everything I ever wanted. We weren't perfect but that was life. We wouldn't hold things in and let it drag us down. We would work things out and love each other more for every flaw.

I could feel my face swelling up with tears. No. I did not want to cry. "I need to go."

"Laura I just wanted one more opportunity to tell you I love you. I won't bother you again after this."

Would he really stop? This was the end? Did I want him to stop fighting? Now it was in my hands. And that kind of scared me even more.

I got in my car and struggled with the keys. Chris was watching only a few feet away, waiting for me to drive off. Maybe he was hoping I'd jump out and tell him I loved him. I pulled into the street instead with tears running down my face.

They were dry by the time I made it to Will's house. I wasn't planning on sleeping over but figured he'd like to talk about the lunch with his parents.

Will was spiraled on the couch watching TV. I bet he was waiting up for me. I raised my hand so he wouldn't get up because I wanted him to hold me. I climbed onto of him and sat on his lap. We were chest to chest with our arms wrapped around each other. I exhaled, letting my emotions flush out of my system.

"Are you okay?"

He nodded and gradually started rubbing my back. "I'm sorry my mom was rude."

I faced him in order to read his expression. "It's okay. I had a feeling she didn't like me."

"She's just stuck on my ex."

"Well I'm glad you aren't." Otherwise we wouldn't be together.

"Flora and I went to the same schools. Our parents worked for the same company and to them we seemed like a good match. It was at first but Flora was self-centered. I got tired of always having to sacrifice something."

"Did you tell your mom this?" I couldn't fathom why she'd want her son to be with someone like that.

"Yes but obviously she wasn't listening."

I wondered if she would ever accept me. "How did the conversation go?"

"She's going to apologize to you. I told her I'd never speak to her again if she didn't give you a chance."

It was so stupid to me. Why was she being so stubborn and ridiculous? "I hate that you have to threaten her."

"Sometimes mother doesn't always know best."

Will kissed me and I disintegrated into his embrace. "Do you work tomorrow? I was wondering if you wanted to go to church with me."

Growing up I always spent Christmas night at church and I've recently picked up a specific reason to go and pray.

"I don't do the whole church thing."

I pushed back, heart broken and shocked. "You don't believe in God?"

Why didn't I notice this before?

He played with my hair while he answered. "My parents are Catholic. I used to go to church every Sunday but can't seem to find my faith anymore. I don't know what I believe in."

I was so blinded by his perfection that I hadn't realized his one significant flaw. It bothered me that he wasn't a Christian anymore. I couldn't imagine my life without God. He was the center of my universe. I suppose I lost that foundation with my own stupid endeavors. Had God sent me Will or was I running after him on my own?

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yeah." Apparently I didn't show it as much as I should. My own fiancé didn't even know I was Christian. Some follower of Christ I was.

The more I thought about it the more I worked myself up. I was unbelievably upset. How could I be so stupid and careless?

"You're mad?"

I wasn't very good as hiding my feelings right now. Will saw straight through me.

"I guess being with you distracted me from certain things like my faith."

"I'm sorry."

It seemed kind of silly in a way to have him apologize. It was technically my fault. I shouldn't have been so weak.

"I won't ever ask you to give it up. If you want to go to church then I won't hold you back."

"So you'll never come with me?"

His solemn expression said it all. "I don't think so and I don't want you to force me."

That was not the answer I wanted to hear. My sadness had seeped inside my heart and like a poison it started to shut down. My feelings were freezing over from a coat of numbness. Obviously I wasn't a strict Christian otherwise I wouldn't have fallen down the disturbing rabbit hole with Chris a few months ago.

I was in a bad place back then. I was giving up on guys. Chris forced himself into my life but I let him. I wanted to feel something other than loneliness and rejections. Chris woke me up from a sleep I didn't even know I was in.

What excuse did I have now?

Maybe God brought me into Will's life to help him find his spiritual path. I felt compelled to help restore his faith because I couldn't exactly give up on him. I loved Will and soon he'd be my husband. I woke up to an empty bed. I thought maybe he was called to the hospital but then I caught a whiff of delicious pancakes. Will was cooking in the kitchen with an apron on and spatula in hand flipping something in a pan.

"I had no idea you cooked." I was extremely turned on. A man in an apron was surprisingly sexy.

"Merry Christmas my beautiful fiancé." He placed the plate of flapjacks on the bar where he had everything set up.

The fancy China was out, candles were lit for a cinnamon aroma, and there were roses in a vase with a perfectly wrapped gift beside it.

"Merry Christmas." He leaned over to kiss me.

Why did I feel like he was trying too hard, like this little adorable breakfast came with a condition?

"You should open your present first." His eyes glistened in delight.

I didn't argue. It was a plane ticket to New York.

"I have a conference there and I want you to come with me. I'll have some spare time so we can go sightseeing. You've never been to New York, right baby?"

"No." I checked the date and frowned. He must have forgotten. "It's on New Year's."

"Yes. There's this huge rooftop party at one of my favorite restaurants. You're going to love it."

"My art work is showing at an exhibit downtown on New Year's." I reminded him for weeks because I was so excited about it. How could he forget? It was kind of a big deal for me. Art was technically a hobby; a hobby I was oddly good at.

"Damn that's right. Sorry baby. It must have slipped my mind." Could I ask him to skip his conference? If I did would he actually do it?

I understood how important his job was to him especially now. Will had so many doors of opportunities opening for him. I submitted because I didn't want to fight about it. We would spend New Year's apart but I wondered if it would continue to be this way. Would I always feel obligated to give in so he could reach wherever he wanted to be in life? I never wanted to hold him back and I guess that was why I chose not to make him choose.

His mother apologized but of course it wasn't genuine. Christmas was great although it felt weird and strange to be at church and have my fiancé at home watching TV. I had a tiny glimmer of hope he'd change his mind and join me but he didn't.

I prayed for him that night more than I ever have before. I started to wonder what our marriage would look like. If we had children would I be able to teach them about God without their father ridiculing his existence. Will was a good man; no, great man but what was a great man without God?

Was I making the right decision? Could I be with a man that didn't have the same belief I did?

I was even starting to feel second to his career. I kept telling myself I wouldn't always be. It was only a temporary thing, or so I hoped. When he got on the plane a part of me expected him to buy a ticket home early so he could catch a glimpse of my showcase.

I was standing in the middle of the clustered room wearing my new black dress waiting for him to show up. It was a long shot but a girl could dream. I loved listening to people's opinion of my work. Most people admired my talent for the dark yet vibrant theme I went with.

"Champagne?" Chris came up behind me holding two glasses.

My heart inappropriately skipped a beat the second I laid eyes on him. I really didn't think he'd come. Technically I invited him but that was because I announced it to everyone who was over Michael and Sarah's house the other day.

"Thanks." I needed something strong to calm my nerves. "And thanks for coming."

"That's what friends do." He focused his attention on the eccentric art pieces.

"Laura! Isn't this fabulous? Oh and who might this be? Will I presume." My agent, Molly, of only two months shook Chris' hand and appraised him like one of the art pieces hanging on the wall.

"No. I'm Chris. Pleasure to meet you."

"Oh," her brows knitted together in confusion. "I assumed, since Laura used you as a model for her paintings."

Shit. Chris stared at me in utter amusement. I hadn't actually told anyone. Molly only knew because she studied my work for weeks. I kept Chris' eyes and face structure but a lot of it was too dark to make out a distinct face.

"She did, did she?" Chris walked away in pursuit of my paintings of him.

"Where's Will then?"

I was determined to follow Chris and explain why I used him. "New York." I brushed past a few people to find Chris standing directly in front of my most praised possession in the gallery.

I shaded the background in dark cool colors of purple, blue, and green. It was easy to tell the focus of most my time was wasted on his eyes. I wanted to capture the essence of the lustful hate he possessed.

"That's what you see when you look at me?"

"It was." He had softened since. "You left and I was mad. I couldn't talk to anyone about it so I expressed myself through paint."

"Hating you sweetly," He read the title grinning.

"That's what you called it, isn't it?"

He nodded with what looked like approval and amusement. "You're very talented."

I had something to paint about. "You were my muse."

"For the worst reason." He said regrettably. I could hear the guilt and it made me forgive him a little more.

"You weren't all bad." I took his hand and led him to my most recent masterpiece.

It was the same face but his eyes held a reflection of love. "I finished this one last night."

He scanned the mirror image of himself then me. "What did you call this one?"

"Loving you desperately."

He crossed his buff arms over his massive chest and tilted his head a bit. Man, he got really big over the summer. His cocky self had a seductive smile playing on his lips.

"Is that so?"

I bit the inside of my cheek wondering if I went too far. "I thought it was appropriate."

"I'm sorry if that bothers you. I don't usually spill my feelings like that. I'm desperate with you because I know I'm losing you."

A. Seriously. Why was he tugging at my heart?

"No. It doesn't bother me. It's refreshing having a guy with his heart on his sleeve. I'd rather have you loving me than hating me."

He gradually maneuvered behind me to whisper in my ear. "I thought you'd prefer both."

Chills of forgotten pleasure ran down my spine. It jogged an old sensation. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you loved being devoured. It excited you."

Was it wrong to admit he was right? "Maybe because it was you."

I couldn't imagine Will doing the things Chris did to me...like slamming me into the wall. I would have been on the verge of a concussion if we hadn't stopped. Also I was crushing on Chris for the longest time. For a moment while he was gone I wondered if I made up the whole thing in my head. Would Chris Compton really attack me with some crazy hot make outs? Apparently so.

"What do you mean?"

Of course he'd need elaboration. I finished off another glass of champagne before plunging into that Pandora box.

"You're the guy every girl has a huge crush on. Don't act like you didn't know. I was a little biased to everything you did."

"Your infatuation let me take control?"

Ugh, it sounded worse than it felt. "My, how the roles have reversed." I was calling the shots now. I made Chris freaking Compton fall in love with me.

"Oh so you like having power over me?"

It was like he read my mind. "Kind of."

He took a cute sarcastic bow. "I'm yours to do anything with."

I was feeling a bit mischievous and straightened his suit lingering to stir something up. "How about wash my car?"

"You just want to see me with my shirt off." That would be a pleasant plus.

I laughed it off and took a step back in my six inch heels only to stumble over something. Chris' ridiculously quick reflexes kicked in and he saved me from making a fool of myself. I was coiled comfortably in his arms and that was how Michael and Sarah found us.

"Are you congratulating her?" Sarah teased. I think she liked the idea of Chris and me together because she was grinning like a traitor.

"Something like that." He chuckled and my stomach was unwillingly attacked by butterflies.

I pushed myself off him and reached for my phone. We were an hour away from midnight and I hadn't received a call from Will. I worried but probably for no reason. It was the disappointment driving me crazy.

"Where is he?" Chris asked in sympathy.

"New York." I was swept with an awful feeling and excused myself.

I missed him and I wanted him to be here. Why did it matter so much? His conference was way more important than a stupid gallery.

The back alley wasn't busy or reeking of trash. Should I call? I texted instead just in case he was doing something important. I heard the door open and wasn't surprised to find Chris had followed me.

"It sucks." His mouth remained shut and his eyes were encouraging me to rant. "I knew what I was signing up for. He's a doctor; he's gonna be busy. I don't know; I thought maybe he would try and change it a bit for me. I sound a little selfish, don't I?"

It was nice getting it off my chest but now I felt like a brat. "I'd be taking away time from a patient, possibly a dying patient. I can't be in the way of him saving a life."

"You're justifying his neglect?"

Was I? It was a good reason though. "Yeah."

Chris firmly gripped my shoulders and it caused me to exhale a deep breath of mental anguish.

"You're the most important priority and if he can't see that then he doesn't deserve you. You should never have to question where you fit in his life."

God, why was he being sweet and caring? "You need to stop buttering me up."

"Why? Are you finding it harder and harder to hate me?"

I sealed my lips because my insides were waiting for the opportunity to burst. Everything I thought I knew about Chris was being thrown out the window. He was actually sensitive, kind when he wanted to be, and selfless when it came to me.

"If I asked you to go back to California, would you? If I couldn't trust myself around you and asked you to leave, would you?" The question would make it or break it for me.

His sad eyes dropped to my lips. "Yes because I wouldn't want you to become someone you hated. I know I've pushed my limits but I'd never want you to regret anything."

That was more than I ever thought he was capable of. The strong affection I had for him took over and I hooked my hand around the back of his neck to pull him towards me. It was so fast. I kissed him and finally released the flood; that thing I was holding back. I was trying to cover it up but I couldn't contain it anymore or deny it. I was falling in love with Chris freaking Compton.

"You know that saying." We were both having a hard time griping to the reality. "If you love two people pick the second because if you were really in love than you wouldn't have fallen in love the second time. I think you're my second."

I loved Will first.

Chris didn't try to kiss me. His emerald eyes were melting into pools of sympathetic love. "Laura..."

I untangled myself and walked back; my chaotic thoughts were giving me a migraine. "How did this happen? Why did it happen? You were supposed to be an asshole and I can't love an asshole."

"Do you want me to go back to California?"

I couldn't ignore it anymore. If he went back it wouldn't solve my issues. "You really think that it would erase how we feel? Could Will numb my feelings for you?" I was scared of making the biggest mistake of my life. "What happens if we do try this?"

"I'd move back. There'd be no holding back, no secrets. I'll take you on our first date and be a complete gentleman."

I wanted that so bad. "Are you capable of that?"

He nodded. "I want to show you the side of me you don't know much about; no one does. Laura Brown I will make you fall desperately in love with me." It was a promise.

"I don't want you to go. I want you to take this scary roller-coaster with me." I was going to dive in no matter the consequences.

He pulled me into his arms and it felt like a whole new experience. "You don't have to be afraid."

I believed him. "I hate breakups."

Obviously I needed to do it alone. Will was incredibly good to me and deserved the truth. I had buried feelings for Chris that resurfaced despite my efforts. I wouldn't have been completely happy with Will if I still had Chris on my mind. Chris was the one that got away. Was he worth it; I found myself asking? I believe he was.

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One chapter left. How do you think it will turn out? 

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